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  1. Today
  2. Yep what everyone already told you and you already know in your heart. This was a "little" thing to them but it hurt you big time. And when we are hurt we react. The main thing is you were able to put it aside and be rational after the fact which helps a bit. Hang in there and remember "this too shall pass".
  3. When I visited New Brunswick in Canada several years ago it was I think July. I was surprised how warm and humid it was. The best things I remember is that it was so green. A deeper green than here in the south. It also felt as though the air was so clean. It was actually very clean period. I really enjoyed it. Deigh I can honestly say that visiting New Zealand is one of those probably won't get to bucket list items. Many places around the world are on this list. Sighs....oh to be a world traveler.
  4. Are the strange things you hear voices, static, weird sounds? Any way you can describe these sounds? I sure would like to tell you something helpful if I can. What do you hear? I hear my own thoughts all the time and many people who have had a stroke have something called tinnitus. You might hear static, pops, ringing, blowing, hissing, buzzing, humming, roaring, whistling, or sizzling. Any of these sound familiar?
  5. I think that is so true Asha. I don't remember everyone who helped me after stroke but I have made it a point to continue to see the ones I do remember and my Psychiatrist is phenomenal! This makes me think do I thank him enough...or can I thank him enough. I sure want to let all of them know how thankful and grateful I am that once I was diagnosed they all stepped up to help me. Feeling grateful.
  6. However, the medical system works really well and the country is peaceful and law-abiding, so weather is a minor inconvenience. That sums up NZ pretty well too. Sounds as though you lived in the Durban area, I know it well. We have another great advantage over here, the people are easy-going and accepting of other races, I find they are also tolerant of people with disabilities and I find that personally a great asset. There is also no class system here and as an ex-Pom (Limey) I find that very attractive. Deigh
  7. My wife has epilepsy. I have the stroke. She had a couple of seizures when we were dating and early in our marriage, then they finally got the meds sorted and maybe something changed in her brain chemistry. Whatever the reason, seizure-free (but still on the meds) for about 25 years. She still take the meds, though, just in case, but a very low dose. Things neurological change with time.
  8. I moved to Canada from South Africa nearly 15 years ago. Still miss the relatively balmy winters of my home-town on the East Coast. Mid-winter meant wearing a sweater in the morningsand playing rugby instead of cricket. Then I moved to Cape Town. Winter meant getting blown over by South-East gale-force winds while walking down the road. Or being flooded if you lived on the wrong side of the mountain. We moved to Pretoria, where winer meant frost in the morning and dead plants because of no rainfall, but was bright and sunny and gorgeous. Summer brought torrential rain in the late afternoon. Now I live in Toronto. Summer tends to be hot and humid, winter tends to be cold and icy. Or so I thought until we went to Newfoundland in midsummer, and found small icebergs stranded near our airbnb. Now I understand why the locals call Toronto "Miami of the North". However, the medical system works really well and the country is peaceful and law-abiding, so weather is a minor inconvenience.
  9. Yesterday
  10. Can you give more info on "strange things?" Becky
  11. Hello. Is there anyone out there with the same problem I am having. When there is nothing going on my mind does strange things. It has been doing this for last 6 years. I chew gum or lifesavers to get me in tune with myself. If anybody has the same problem, please let me know. SS 396
  12. Hello. Is there anyone out there with the same problem I am having. When there is nothing going on my mind does strange things. It has been doing this for last 6 years. I chew gum or lifesavers to get me in tune with myself. If anybody has the same problem, please let me know. SS 396
  13. < We have a bulletin board to put up little forms "caught you caring" and at the end of the month they go into drawings for prizes. Once, my cna told me she won a $25 gift card because I gave her a paper in the drawing. yes I felt happy and proud I had shown my appreciation and the lucky stars honored my favored cna. I hand in those forms monthly for those who show me moment of caring. I use colored pens,decorate with flowers and support this staff program. Yes,I feel great making others happy,appreciating them. Yes,I feel like I can be proud of who I am. This gives me happiness too. I always cherished receiving gestures of gratitude too. Cards,candy, flowers, teacher things.
  14. lack of water can make me constipated. My feet swell,one more than the other. I went to a lymphedema clinic at my medical center. As it was explained to me,I will try and recall....the water leaks from blood vessels into the tissues so there it stays. Different methods used on me include massage, compression stockings, ace bandage wraps,and visits with a cardiologist to see if the fluid retention was related to heart failure stuff...they did blood work and an echocardiogram. oh they watch kidney function while i am on diuretics and adjust dosages if it is not ok. my weight fluctuates, due to the edema. I eat to maintain a good blood sugar,be healthy,have energy,and avoid salt. That is hard,there is hidden salt in sauces,even juice drinks. And then occasionally cheat with pizza,but not very often. Right now I have problems too and seeking answers. So God bless you as you deal with this too.
  15. me too, the floor on my left always is a mess after a meal.my neuro doc told me to start gargling with water nightly to improve brain/mouth activity,and connection.Seems to be working,and he also said using the spin brush on my tongue would help as well. my dog likes the way I eat and sits on my left side to catch the treats.
  16. I did not last on cymbalta, and put a stop to using antidepressants for pain management because All that messing with brain chemistry caused odd unlovable problems beyond a few ADD moments. Using pain killers has been better for me. drug trials are horrific.
  17. OMG Tracy, you were given a gift!! I recall finding my neuro and having him tell me about my stroke,my brain,me. Well I did not get any medical help, I had none of the FAST only balance problems,visual problems, just like now. No one out there knows or talks about stroke correctly. And so yes perhaps if I had better control of all those health problems,would I still have had a stroke? Look, so many still having strokes,what does that say? For me, that guilt is gone. I believe in some things just gonna be. Shame is useless. And validation is the perfect gift. More research about strokes is needed. I am going to have another MRI to see my brain now. What can be done now? At least understand how I got here, or what to do. my job is live with it. I know who I am makes a difference. I believe in that blue ribbon group. I do not need to apologise for my survival or earn approval or love. I am the one who gets to decide if I am still happy with people in my life. But that is the American Irish core in me to not take arranged relationships,not even medical ones. You had a fantastic gift. I am pleased for you.
  18. PS, to me this did not seem about bird poop at all. I listen to my intuition,which makes me open and sensitive to emotional pain. It is good to have your therapist,someone you can talk honestly and not apologise for your feelings. And know feelings can be stuffed down only to go the pressure cooker and explode later. Better to let off steam. It takes so much energy to pretend anyway. I hate that word childish. I worked with children. They are honest. They lack the inhibitions or pretenses adults use to avoid situations of pain. They react but they cope,resilient,awesome. But this is just my opinion
  19. If it makes you feel better, I would have felt hurt and invisible as well. Cmon now kids before stepmoms! My emotions have a trip wire too. Things hurt physically. We are allowed to feel. That is good even if hard to hurt. Who wants to sacrifice that joy you felt to be numb just to not hurt. I wonder if you feel you do not belong there,and stroke robbed you from a better life. I understand those feelings. You coped beautifully. You are doing fine. Hope for the future. Disability will arrive. I had to get legal help and appeal. At the hearing,the judge gave it to me immediately no problem. Then you can get your place,and your parking spot. It will happen. Be patient. Keep calm,and venting is allowed. We do what we must to avoid stressing or risking another stroke. There is a balance of negative and positive in life. There is no should. You get to experience your truths, and we will listen and always support you. You are strong and can be patient for good times ahead. And in the meantime, advocating may or may not be wise,your call. just know that you are coping well. This is hard stuff. This life is not supposed to go like this, and if you are not taken care of by a spouse then it is worse to be on your own. I admire you that you are not content to just be childlike content living with parents again, but do what makes sense now, and know independence will come. Seek options. We do not deserve this suffering and we are strong to endure it. It may seem like a yo yo,but you are fighting to remain positive,to cope,groow,so it is ok to feel what you do. I am same way. I know I am allowed. I think it is honest,and real. You win the Tiara!
  20. I was on gabapentin, apparently I had one in hospital,but never did at home. I had a neuro specializing in epilepsy. Thankfully not a problem now. personality changes may be situational or just a healthy response to this horror. Your body is possessed and you hurt inside from it all. Many things change in 1st year,so keep hope for recovering some things. Otherwise be aware this is a huge adjustment that takes time to heal. Hopefully you have help and support and you can weather this together. He is still him inside. Medication can help as well as waiting it out for the brain to sort out. Remember love heals.
  21. I haven't had seizures either although they tested me (EEG) several times. I know this can start happening after stroke but that Is about all I know. My best wishes to those who are or have experienced this. Does anti-seizure medicine usually control this well and have the Dr.'s explained what this means going forward? A seizure can be scary just in itself much less after a history of stroke. You guys stay strong I hope you are receiving good answers and help.
  22. I'm smiling, I do the same thing Becky. Sometimes I tell a person right up front that I had a stroke and at times I stutter and can't get out what I'm trying to say so bear with me. To my happy surprise 99% of people are very positive and understanding. Now that does not necessarily take my frustration away if I do have trouble but the other person is typically very patient. Unlike you and Deigh I can talk to people on the phone but I am very well known to start out with the same explanation and get the usual positive response. I realize it would be awesome if my speech mimicked my written words...LOL I'm pretty good at writing my thoughts isn't it weird how that works. I totally get why email makes a lot of sense Becky. My daughter is sorta unsure how she feels about my forthcoming when I first speak to people. She has asked me why I do that...suppose I am just trying to reduce the frustration I may encounter. Call it using the stroke card lol. Smiles, I can very much relate to all of you. Don't take my smiles and laughs in a negative light, I get the same frustrations...I suppose it has become my way of dealing with it especially when I am not getting through to someone. It can be upsetting but I can also laugh about my own experiences like a sort of inside joke I guess with myself.
  23. Kelli, I feel the similarities in how we are affected by the world around us. I know you understand...you experience this too. I know you understand how hard it is for it to make sense to anyone else not experiencing things like this. LOL I laughed when you talked about bird poop...My mistake Asha that was you and it made me laugh at the thought of bird poop importance...so true. I took a long nap and feel lots better now. It's ok wherever I park and bird poop and dirt can be washed away. This is just another day in the life. Hugs!!
  24. Asha I truly appreciate and look up to your positivism. You are very right. What I write about my experiences are how I no longer can control my emotions in such a situation due to the stroke. Rationally, I know the same that what you are saying is true. I felt the same way rationally but my reaction was anything but rational. People around me also don't understand why my reaction may be so intense...as well as others who may be stroke survivors that don't have these type of cognitive affects at times. I'm aware...but I can't always control it or even understand why myself. To many it seems childish and I wouldn't disagree. My behavior and reaction is a direct affect of my cerebellar stroke and Cerebellar Cognitive Affective Syndrome. There's a simple explanation/definition of the syhdrome if you Google the full name. I hope to clarify that I really understand that my physical reaction and emotional reaction doesn't fit the situation. My frustration is that I can't always control those things no matter how much I try or understand or am medically treated for that exact moments experience. Unfortunately, this is an ongoing affect...it's just not physical like one sided paralysis or not being able to move or feel areas after a stroke. This is what is so different about my stroke compared to so many others. None of them are any less devastating but in different ways. I feel guilty or have at times, that my body was spared the paralysis and similar problems that so many experience. However, I can attest that affects in cognition, emotion, affect, and many other psychological issues can and are real, painful, frustrating, as well as not accepted by others or judged inappropriate. I don't argue that just know I can not always control it. I'm sorry, I don't want to come across in a bad way and please know that is not my intent if I am. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
  25. I practice my speaking as much as I can but avoid the phone if possible. Most adults understand me but I have some problem with youngsters. I do agree though that I'd rather resort to texting than talking over the phone especially if I have something tricky to talk about. Deigh
  26. Pam, I have dysarthria from my stroke,and while I can't explain it as well as you, I've had many of the same experiences as you. Usually, if people would just take the time to listen to me talk, and try to understand what I'm saying, they would understand what the odd-sounding words are. My friends and family understand me, because they have tried to understand me. And, if they don't, they have found that I don't mind at all if they ask me to repeat what I just said. But, the problem is that a lot of people won't, or can't, take the time to try and understand you. What I've found that helps sometimes is to explain my problem to them briefly, then ask them if they would mind communicating via email because I can write better than I talk. If they agree to this, they soon discover that I'm not as dumb as they think I am.Best, Becky
  27. Last week
  28. Tracy : don't let small things bothher you, its all small stuff, in big scheme of things having bird poop on car & car getting dirty does it matter, as long as car drives well thats what matters. Don't feel badly about it, be grateful for whatever help they are doing based on their circumstances. If someone is helping we can't expect more, just have to be thankful that we still have people in our life who cares about us. Asha
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