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  1. Today
  2. merry Christmas to all of you

    Well, here it is!!!! its that time already . yes its Christmas time , and time to bring in the new Year, my how times fly and here I am widhing you a very merry Christmas, and the best new year ever, I just had to blog , to let you know , that I think of you , and I wish nothing but the very best to you , I hope that you are seeing improvements since your stroke andthat you will continue to get even better so a very GMerry Christmas to all of you , and may your year be filled with happiness, and good cheer and a very healthy cheer to you,
  3. What she said, been there done that! that arm has a mind of it's own. you just can't trust it to do what you want.
  4. 'Tis better to adapt, and adapt again, than not adapt t'all. Becky
  5. Yesterday
  6. awe.. I must say I giggled. I'm really happy for you for it working
  7. I've been using E-stim, on my arm/hand, for almost a month. I used to use my bent arm as a 'towel rack' to carry clothes, etc. to another room. I also was able to carry things in the crook of my arm. Since the E-stim relaxed my arm/fingers so much, I can no longer do those things. I'm unable, yet, to bend my arm up on my own, or to hold on to something in my previously curled in fingers. I imagine I will adapt and find another way to do things like that again. It's frustrating to learn to adapt all over again. While I do want to be able to use my arm/hand again, I feel in limbo for the time being.
  8. Last week
  9. yes.. I get in a funk every year about this time. Shorter days, darker earlier, and having less money and the frustration and guilt for not being able to do for others as well for myself. Just think.. starting December 21st In meteorology, winter in the Northern Hemisphere spans the entire period of December through February. The seasonal significance of the winter solstice is in the reversal of the gradual lengthening of nights and shortening hours of daylight during the day. I feel your funk :(
  10. I quite agree with you about this time of the year. I am not a 'Christmassy' person and find the whole season irritating to the extreme. Deigh
  11. Welcome to StrokeNet. Please feel free to browse around and get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

  12. Welcome to StrokeNet. Please feel free to browse around and get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

  13. A week on baclofen and I was a zombie, very tired and my legs felt super heavy, turned my PT sessions for me. The dr advised me to stop taking it, and today I feel better already. I am going to get Botox in the arm as he also suggested that, it will take a few weeks to coordinate with insurance and his time.
  14. One thing is certain: STROKE IS NOT KIND TO MARRIAGES! Or, relationships of any kind. I had my brainstem stroke almost 11 years ago, and I think I'm qualified to say that as my husband has been my sole caregiver. He's been a good caregiver most of the time, but when you do anything 24/7, it gets old. I, too, have experienced the rolled eyes when I ask for something, seen the cringes when he hears his name called, or the sounds of sighs. All of this hurts me beyond belief, and I'm pretty low on the scale of caregiving needs. But, there are 2 things that never seem to change. One is that I, too, seem to have "good timing". It's almost guaranteed that at the last 15 min. of a movie he's been watching that he'll hear, "I've got to pee". He has trouble falling asleep. Just as he's finally drifting off, he hears his name being called. I don't mean to be disruptive, but I know that I am sometimes. And,it never changes. It may in the future,but we don't know that now. We can only deal with what is, and pray for a better tomorrow. But,on the other hand, we didn't ask for a stroke either. And we shouldn't be punished for it. I don't know the answer either. What's helped us when things get really stressful around here is to tell each other that we're still committed to our relationship, and that each of us still loves the other. Joe,maybe you can try emailing, or calling family/friends, and having conversations with them one-on-one.This will serve 2 purposes, hopefully. After having several conversations with you, they will draw their own conclusion, and be able to say that you don't sound like you're "losing it" to them. Secondly, maybe by reaching out to others, you won't feel so alone. Hope something here helps. Best, Becky
  15. Thank you all for your replies. RonA thank you. I may be too critical of her at times. I do love her and she, no doubts, loves me for what she has gone through and done thus far. Even if it’s a different love, it’s still love. I’d much rather be under her care then a stranger. She has so much on her shoulders. I can understand the frustration from her side. I just feel like I’ve become a burden to my spouse. My level of care level is pretty high. Anyway, thanks! It’s nice to see a caregivers side. It puts things in perspective.
  16. Hi, I'm almost 8 yrs post stroke (12/18/09). Although no recovered from minor physical deficits I'm dealing with alot more of the emotional aftermath of hemorragic stroke. Anxiety, short-tempered (use to be very patient, laid back) It might sound silly but I've just realized how more anxious & frustrated & depressed I feel this time of year compared to other times. Anyone else? Any tips that help you get through these times? Looking forward to meeting you all & sharing experiences.
  17. Jay, I know it's hard, but try not to think about it-as the others have said. It's kinda like ignoring the elephant in the room, isn't it? Know that when you go to see the doc, that we're all with you,and that you're in my prayers. Keep us posted. Best, Becky
  18. So sorry to hear that. My wife is very loving and supportive, but I worry about asking too much of her, like having to cut our grass, as she did in September, it won't be needed again until Spring, so I have months more of recovery that will occur again and hopeI am better enough to handle that choreat the least. She does not complaint, but I imagine it gets old doing so much for me. I wish I had a good suggestion for you guys, but other than counseling or a support group I don't at this time, again sorry. That's what marriage is built on,total support.
  19. PaulNash you have officially made my day or more. That was a picture from about 2 1/2 years ago now that's a compliment. Thank you friend.
  20. I know easier said than done but the big question of a life well lived - if you knew for certain that you will die tomorrow, no matter what you did today,would you live today differently?- that is absolutely the truth
  21. Michael, you are doing a fantastic balance. And what you could do is include her in the discussions regarding her care. She knows what she wants to say and can't but you could make a picture board of things and with patience she will be able to converse with you. I understand how hard it is for you and it made my heart smile that not one time did you complain about what happened. That is beautiful. She didn't ask for this as you didn't either.
  22. Jay that is the only way to approach this hurdle. As you say it's not immediately critical they are taking their time. so try not to fret about it and take the time to talk to your doctor about the options and what this development means for you. It took a year to grow to 2mm x 2mm a couple more weeks are unlikely to make much difference. And until you see the doctor again there's nothing you can do that will change the situation so go have fun and put it out of your mind until the appointment. I know easier said than done but the big question of a life well lived - if you knew for certain that you will die tomorrow, no matter what you did today,would you live today differently?
  23. Joe, I am in your wife's situation. My own wife had a stroke four years ago and I am her caregiver. I love her dearly and am grateful I can give her the care she needs. I would fight to my dying day to keep her safe and happy in our own home. With that said, I too sometimes get frustrated and I even snap at times. In retracing what sets me off I have decided that several things are at play. One is the endless stream of requests and even demands. Over time they take a heavy toll. I sometimes feel that she is totally unaware of the reality of my situation, which is both frustrating and annoying. Upon further reflection I realize that she is actually not ungrateful she is simply unaware. She isn't even aware when she is piling on too many requests and demands. When you stop to think about it, that is perfectly understandable. It is all she can do to cope with her own situation without trying to cope with mine. Trying to understand mine is just too much for her to tackle. Another anger trigger has to do with timing. If I am in the middle of something such as, say, paying our bills online, it really bothers me when she suddenly pops in for one reason or another. More often than not she doesn't even ask what I am doing, she simply says whatever she intended to say. I know it shouldn't upset me but it does. I think that is because I was enjoying my brief escape from day-to-day reality or routine and resented being drawn back in. A related problem is being reminded of what has to be done. My wife doesn't realize that when she comes up with a reminder or suggestion, usually over breakfast when I am eager to simply drink my coffee and read my newspaper. Her reminders only serve to remind me of the endless array of tasks that await me. I like to get some mental rest from that at times and when she chimes in with something that reminds me of what has to be done, I sometimes get very cranky. Finally there is the fatigue factor. It is far easier to get tuckered out than you might suspect. And with fatigue come irritability. It's human nature 101. Probably some or all of these factors are at play with you and your wife wife. The key, I think, is to talk with each other. And be sure to listen. In particular, allow her to complain at times, which is often hard for caregivers to do. You need to try your hardest to understand her world. I know that when your own world has been drastically upheaved that can be difficult but you really have to try. I think you are becoming a little paranoid with all of your fears about her hidden motives or what have you. Just remember that she is the same woman she was before you had a stroke. The essence of a person doesn't really change. And there is no reason to think she doesn't love you. Good luck dealing with all of this. And by the way, if you can't deal with the problems at hand you might want to get couples counseling. I'm a lot older than you so I realize our situation is different from yours and your wife's but I think some of what I have learned might be useful. I hope so anyway. Take care. Ron
  24. I have been thinking of your post and to be honest I get it, we loose more than parts of our body. I feel like I have let down my family as I cant do what I once loved and could fix anything but now the fogginess runs my life and that gets old. Hang in there as that's all we can do and work toward changes . Ed
  25. FEAR Some fears are real some are only the imagination Gone Wild fear is an instinctual primal human survival mechanism we've all heard of fight or flight I decided to fight my fear by seeking the silver lining As you may recall, 4 years ago I had a brain aneurysm and stroke. Now once a year I have a CT scan with contrast for 3 years the only recommendation was a follow-up can scan in one year until now my neurosurgeon discovered a 2 mm x 2 mm outpocketing whatever that means the nurse did tell me that it's not an aneurysm but it is ballooning I told her I am scared She assured me there's no reason to be scared So being the eternal optimist I am seeking that silver lining. I thought to myself why am I getting these these CT scans once a year? in order to identify anything early. well we know it developed within the last 12 months my last CT scan was year ago. I choose to accept early intervention is a good thing and of course the doctor's office didn't say we want to see me immediately they schedule my appointment for December 21st almost 2 weeks away so for me the Silver 1. it's a good thing that they discovered this early and I can sit down with my doctor and discuss our options. 2. They scheduled my appt 2 week out. There are two silver linings one if there is anything it was discovered early because if not addressed I may not be as lucky as the last time and to they didn't want to see me immediately they schedule it for two weeks out so it must not be critical Much like finding the beauty in everyday it may be required to look a little harder there's always a silver lining, we may need to look a little harder or even stretch the imagination and of course temper the imagination if it goes wild with what if what could be. Thank you all for your support and encouragement over the last three years it's been a blessing to be a part of this group Be blessed and be a blessing, Jay
  26. Hi Michael, I understand and know the feeling of wanting to have a conversation with your best friend, your wife like ya'll used to have prior to any of the strokes. That's exactly how I feel and it's been a year and a month later. I'm trying to forget the timeline and to take it a day at a time but understand it's hard. My wife is still confined to a wheelchair and working hard at taking steps now and trying to stand for longer. If you can some how manage to get her to stand that's where it all needs to begin. My wife has probably stood a thousand times before she was able to take a step. She's working hard as I'm sure your wife is too. At the moment, my wife and myself's conversation consist of me asking her a question and her ability to express herself. The other side is the ability to express herself again by letting me know she needs a Kleenex or something else. I'm still unable to receive a "how are you doing today or how was work?" so her ability to speak is still expressive. However, I can't forget this was a miracle when it happened because it had been 8 months before a word was said. I understand and wish you and your wife strength and healing.
  27. Hi cypher, and welcome, When I had mine in '96 I said that if it happened again I didn't want to survive. I didn't want to go through anything like that again, and I guess I still don't. I came home from rehab in a wheelchair. swallowing was 'interesting', motion sickness, etc.,etc. (Laundry list of deficits) I have relearned to walk, it took a while, but I did it - and now don't even use a cane. My balance is still shot-to-sh*t, and I have to use a rollator when I'm outside. (The 1st time I went to a grocery store and held onto a cart for balance felt incredible! INDEPENDENCE!) As devastating as it is - humans are adaptable creatures. Grieving losses is a given, and as some time passes focusing on what you CAN do will help. Please vent away, as often as you need. (We get it) ((((hug))))
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