I think most caregivers feel this for the first few years. My stroke was in the brainstem. It caused lots of serious permanent disabilities - quadriplegia, loss of speech, swallowing problems, short-term memory loss, incontinence and many more. My disabilities affect my wife greatly but with time she has learned to cope. She has accepted her bleak future but it did not happen overnight. It takes years! Each year there were improvements as she learned how to take care of and live her new lifestyle.