Manders

Stroke Survivor - female
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Everything posted by Manders

  1. Happy Anniversary Manders!

  2. Happy Anniversary Manders!

  3. Im not gonna tell you my stroke experience because that's not what you came here for. I wish I could tell you a clear cut yes or no answer. Unfortunately, with stroke, there is no one (not even a doctor) who can tell you what is permanent and what will go away. You have to take one day at a time and remember to focus on the positives. You have come so far!!!!!!! You are amazing!!!!!!
  4. lol my mom is my hot button as well. If im on the phone with her and I get even the slightest attitude. She comes back with "did you take your medicine today?" and then I just go off. She sure knows how to p*** me off lol
  5. Acceptance is a really hard stage to reach. There is no magic way to get their either. For me, acceptance was difficult but I finally reached it once I started looking at my stroke as an accomplishment. I am so proud to say that I am a stroke survivor and I defied all odds, Surviving a stroke is what makes you special.... Everybody in life has a story. Ours is that we survived a stroke. A good friend of mine just had a stillbirth Another friend of mine just lost her son in a car accident. How do they find acceptance? We all have a story. You are no different Kelli. You can either let life knock you down or you can stand up and be a source of inspiration for others. Forget the stroke, you are the way you are because thats how God made you. Maybe you have a short temper, maybe you get overwhelmed easily...etc but that is just you. "Stroke" days happen, but when they do I just breathe and remember that crying doesnt get me anywhere. Asha said it best, Happiness is a choice and I will add to that. Happiness is something we create... Best of luck to you kelli. I love you girl!! You are strong!!!
  6. This summer will be six years since my stroke. I am realizing more and more that stroke lasts a lifetime. I guess I was hoping that one day I would wake up and this would all be over. Brain injury is something that never goes away. Last week I spoke in front of 600 people at a fundraiser for the hospital that saved my life. I enjoy talking about my stroke but it makes me remember my pre-stroke life which often saddens me My stroke left me completely helpless. I had to relearn to walk, talk, swallow, brush my hair, tie my shoe, write...etc I had a great team of professionals that helped me recover 90% Today I have two boys. I work full time and I go to school On the outside I look like im completely fine However, my brain is broken....im broken I once read that victims of brain injury who near fully recover sometimes have the hardest time finding acceptance. That is definitely me. Its like when you are a child and your dog dies and your parents go out the next day and buy you a dog that looks exactly the same. I may look and sound the same, but I am very different... I will always miss the old me. Nobody will miss her more than I do... But this is my new life. Its okay to visit the past, we just cant stay there. Today I move forward. I must let her go....I will always love you Amanda but I have to move on
  7. Glad to have you here!!! :)

  8. I've been on anti depressants since my stroke (5 years). My crazy pills as my family and I joke. I have anxiety, vertigo, and other emotional issues but I deal, 1 day at a time! My key was to get involved with advocating for other survivors. It makes me feel great and really helps me gain confidence.
  9. Anger is a phase of grief but scary enough, some people never leave this phase. It is up to you to move past it. Anger is completely normal and expected. Forget all the stuff about God or how atleast he survived. You dont need that right now. What you have to do is take one day at a time and stop worrying about the future. A positive/negative attitude is what is going to make this recovery great or horrible, so this is a really important time to keep your head up and stay positive. As hard as it may seem, it is what works. Dont be embarassed to ask for anti-depressants either. Many caregivers are in the same position!
  10. I know this sounds funny, almost as if it was a joke, but its not. This is my life. I was sitting the other day just thinking about how great it was when I could remember things. Since my stroke, I lose my phone daily among other things and I miss being able to back track my mind and retrace my steps. Most people can close their eyes, and retrace exactly what they have done in the last hour or so. Unfortuantely, I cant do this. The only way I can hope to find my lost phone is to run around like a chicken with my head cut off and look for it. It sucks. What I dont understand is why can I not remember what I did last night but I can remember things that happened years ago? It is so bizarre. I cant remember short term things but I can remember what it was like to remember. If that makes sense. I wish I couldnt, maybe I wouldnt miss my old brain as much if i couldnt remember how things use to be. Sometimes it is just hard...
  11. Manders

    grad.jpg

    My highschool graduation. Only 1 year before my stroke.
  12. My 19th Birthday! In the hospital with my sister!
  13. Manders

    Amanda Horne

    My name is Amanda Horne. I
  14. I believe that crying and feeling sorry for yourself is a way of thinking and in order to overcome that, one must change their thought process. Talk to yourself. Look at yourself when you're crying. Remind yourself, that this doesnt solve anything. Just like a child, we must learn that crying has its time but its not the answer for everything. When I feel sad, I try to change my focus, get up and do something. Tears are completely expected after a life change, and in many ways they are a healthy way of releasing emotions. It means we understand that things have changed. I was in a deep depression for about 18 months after my stroke. My final turning point, is when I came to accept that Happiness was something I had to create, it wasnt gonna come find me. This is what worked for me. I also became a volunteer and now I speak out about stroke. This has also been a great way to turn something so devastating, into something worthwhile.
  15. You survived for a reason! We have to create our own happiness. Will your life ever be the same as it was before? Highly doubtful but in no way does that mean you cant live and long and happy life! Create a new life and stop mourning the life you use to have. I know its tough. Its the hardest thing you will ever do but there is life after stroke! We just have to find it.
  16. I think the reason the doctors dont tell us much is because every patient experiences their own psychological issues and they must deal with them their way. There are plenty of resources out there. I have found www.tbiguide.com to be an excellent source. I have found that I can relate to TBI survivors so much and stroke itself can take so many different forms that nobody knows exactly what to tell a survivor.