ksmith

I'm OK. I love to read what others do for I'm a very boring person. Even before this, but after my stroke, I'm not fond of people. I read, when my brain allows it and binge watches British TV. I talk to my cats lol

that sounds lovely and will for sure put a smile on someones face 🙂

My ex-husband got me a small portable 'light box' and it changed my life. I take vitamin D all year and double it in the winter . Before the stroke, I would go to a tanning bed, not to tan but to get the UV lights. Still horrible for you but it made me feel better so that's what I did. I now ordered one off of Amazon ( my new addiction) I tried to get it smaller but there ya go lol It stands about 12 inches or 30.48 cm. I keep it on my desk and when I get on my computer I keep it on. I does have a timer for you like 10 mins or so but I don't follow that 🙂

Marcia, I'm so glad you're back. your humor and storytelling is so accurate with many of our situations. Missed you

LG, the more and more I think about your post, we often forget what it's like to be back in the mind space of new stroke. I've been a little over 11 years but I have the blessing/curse of losing a lot of my earlier memories. (( that's a whole different conversation for another day)) and I can't even begin to understand what it must be like for someone who had his life, with his love and the way things were to be changed in an instant. For that, I can only share what it was like for me. I woke up in a new body and my body knew how to do things but my brain said NO and I lashed out. Rather rudely, as my grandmother use to say. But in all honesty, Sue had said it well. I was guilty of emotional blackmail for I was jealous and saw my life as over then and there. But over time with therapy ( Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and PT/OT, I was able to see that yes life did get better. Was it like before.. NO but it was better than that moment. On a secondary note and truth:: When I came to chat groups, such as this and my local groups, I was so angry because nobody understood what I was going through * Coming from a survivor POV* and I didn't want to go therapy or anything for i can't do it now. Well..... what I learned was recovery is like a turtle walking through peanut butter. Slow and steady. ** from the family and caregiver POV I've observed** Because he knew how to do this before after a little hard work ,he'll be able to do it again. This was another thing that would cause me to lash out. OK this is the best way I can explain this.. bare with me.. it's a dosey. So imagine your brain is made up of pasta noddles , uncooked. now if you would hold them in the middle upright. The top is his brain and bottom is to his body. If you squeeze the noddles so some break but remain in your hands. OK His brain knows what to do but the information is trying to go to the bottom of the pasta towards his body. Well, those avenues are now broken and out-of-service. He has to follow thew pathway to find a new route. This may take time. It may be easy for you to figure out a new pathway but it isn't clear to him and that is frustrating. He's trying to figure it out and you (( again not you per say but most caregivers and families I've talked too)) get impatient and say I'll do it. Well over time, why should he do it because he knows he can't do it and will make you do it. I think that you are such a wonderful partner 💞 Keep up the good work and stay positive Down below is Sue's important statement ::

sounds like my kind of place to live

"As the golden colors of fall increase and days have fewer hours of sunlight, you may be one of the millions of people at risk of seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, a type of recurrent depression that comes and goes with the seasons. This year, experts are warning that in addition to the typical risk factors, the pandemic may play a part in the occurrence of SAD with the condition being more prominent due to the stresses of COVID-19. SAD affects millions of people in the U.S. at the best of times. COVID-19 has upended normal life bringing major life changes, traumas and demanding decision overloads, along with a highly contagious, threatening illness. The long summer days have provided some relief, as sunlight and great outdoor spaces offer more exercise, stimulation and social contact in helping to boost emotional and mental wellbeing. Now with shorter, darker days, restrictions on leisure and outdoor facilities, limited occasions out, working from home and less time outdoors, there’s concern that people’s mental and physical health may be even more vulnerable to SAD. DR NINA’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: About Keeping SAD in Check During the Pandemic A lack of sunlight (perceived through the eyes) affects multiple brain regions which can: • Send the body’s biological or internal clock into a tizzy • Affect melatonin levels, which can decrease sleep quality/quantity • Decrease brain chemicals that affect mood, namely serotonin (a neurotransmitter that relays signals from one area of the brain to another) • Induce symptoms of SAD such as insomnia, lethargy, poor concentration, irritability, low energy, excessive sleeping, overeating, weight gain, craving carbohydrates, depression and suicidal thoughts. (Signs/symptoms of SAD are similar to those of depression because SAD is a form of depression.) • Impact health more than just the “winter blues.” SAD is characterized by two weeks or more of depressed mood. (Winter blues can be milder, but it has been shown to affect about three times as many people.) Those experiencing SAD also tend to withdraw from social occasions and some have thoughts of hopelessness or worthlessness. This year, more people are experiencing social withdrawal because of physical distancing, posing an increased risk for the coming months. Tips The challenges brought on by less daylight and outside activities — along with the uncertainty of the pandemic — are real. However, you can take countermeasures: • Actively focus on things in your control to reduce feelings of helplessness. Don’t get fixated on news — and only tune in to credible sources. • Daylight walks, artificial lights, sitting indoors near the window and catching a few rays can elevate your mood. Healthy eating; good sleep, nightly; and maintaining virtual or distanced social connections will help stave off sadness and are a great ways to stimulate joy and maintain good health. • Start planning now. Holidays could be especially challenging. Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, gift-giving and other special holiday celebrations will be vastly different because of ongoing concerns about the virus, travel restrictions and financial challenges. Start preparing and try thinking about this year as an opportunity to do new things, rather than viewing it as something else being taken away. • Self-care needs to be a top priority. Take time for you to get what you need from social connection to rest and relaxation to healthy foods to mental and physical activities. • Stay active — physical movement can increase your endorphins, the body’s “feel good” chemicals. • Get outside. Dress and prepare appropriately and enjoy some time in your great outdoors. • Reach for foods that are rich in vitamins and nutrients and fuel your brain, including “brain foods” (nuts, seeds, avocados, whole grains, olive oil, salmon, fruit and veggies). • Stay connected. Isolation has lasting negative effects on your mental health, but today, it’s easier than ever to stay connected with people who care about you. Loneliness also takes a great toll on your physical health (as harmful to your physical health as smoking 15 cigarettes every day). Remember, you’re not alone. Everyone is feeling the worries and, too, loneliness — we’re in it together and by sticking together, we’ll make it through. • Remember too, alcohol is a depressant, and can worsen the winter blues or SAD. In the coming months, if you (or a loved one) is feeling more down or hopeless over an extended period of time, it may be SAD. Talk with your healthcare provider. There are prescriptive and measures and methods, such as light therapy (sitting in front of a particular type of light for about 20 to 60 minutes a day in the morning) that can make a real difference. COVID-19 may have a significant effect on people at this time and understanding SAD can make a big difference in helping you — and those you love — in the coming months." Dr. Nina Radcliff, of Galloway Township, is a physician anesthesiologist, television medical contributor and textbook author. Email questions for Dr. Nina to editor@pressofac.com with “Dr. Nina” in the subject line. This article is for general information only and should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of medical conditions and cannot substitute for the advice from your medical professional.

LG, OK first.. I felt the emotion in your post. I can't even imagine. Covid-19 has really caused many health care workers to rate the patients. Is it fair NO but rather you get out and get sick. SO BACK TO YOU Angry is sadly a something we all go through. In some form or another. I would get angry at my (ex) husband (( divorce not from stroke)) because in my way I wanted to give him an excuse to leave because I felt so bad about myself. Then it became jealously. I mean he got to leave.. yeah to go to work but he got to see people and in my mind he was talking to "normal" people. You are not doing anything wrong. His stroke and recovery happened at a terrible time in our country and it's not YOUR FAULT. Maybe you can join a Zoom ( because most places are doing it) stroke group and see if they have caregivers. You need to chat with folks who truly get it, not that we don't here, who may live closer. As times get safer, go out to get coffee. Maybe the two survivors can chat. I was angry for a long time . I was 34 when I had my stroke and there have been younger but when you see someone who can 'do" things... the green-eyed monster comes out. But you know, and clearly from your words, and might tell him ;I'm doing this because I love you'. But don't forget not to let this encompass your life.His stroke was in April and the world is scary so it's still raw. The first year is generally the toughest to go through. Just know, things will get better. His brain and life got shaken up so he's ,understandably, upset. He can and should do some things at home. The more he does for him self and learns new tricks, he'll see the world opening up to him.

Welcome to the Stroke Network. M goodness, you have had a shiitake ( mushroom fyi) time. That fear is real and on top of having two kids.. young yet. My (ex) husband (( side note: no we did not get divorced because the stroke)) never thought I was having a hard time for you couldn't 'see' my stroke. I had a vertibrial artery dissection caused by a chiropractic manipulation and thankfully my deficits are inside. But that still sucks. No one will ever tell you to "suck it up" but in his defense - He is under stress as well. He has a wife who has had multiple strokes, he has two kids, bills and trying to keep all together. He may not know how to deal with all and watch out he doesn't cause himself to have a stroke or some injury

that is such a great story. My cousin was a paramedic and during the service the fire alarm went off ( small station next to cemetery) and we all smiled for we knew it was him

This is a tricky thing for me. My cousin passed away while I was in the rehab after my stroke. Through out my recovery I've had two grandmothers and a grandfather pass. They are all buried in a lovely place near me. BUT.. I barely have memories with them. Though I'd known them my entire life. So basically it's like it never happened. So although I've dealt with death, I can't really say. My family have all been cremated and put it into our family plot , mainly for genealogy ( my family is in to that). But we all also believe they aren't really there anymore. It might sound insensitive but we believe their souls are somewhere happy and with us. We are filled with love and good memories ( and going there is just not the same. (( I hope that doesn't upset anyone)) This is just how my family thinks

I hope everything falls into place :) I could feel your excitement in your words

you are a wonderful human parents. That truly made my heart so happy

Sue, I can't agree with you more. He is a true inspiration. I have been lucky enough to meet him twice and he and Missy are genuinely two of the most amazing people I've met. Without him, not giving up after his stroke, I don't know where I'd be today. The people I've come across over my time here have helped shape me into the person I am and that would not be possible without Steve. I have nothing but respect for him and for everyone here. Thank you Steve

Those beds look beautiful. How was your tomatoes this year? I know, in my area of South New Jersey ( as far south as you can go) was Rubbish

you are correct. I'm finding myself , as stated in HostTracy's blog post that after stroke, I find I was made for this. That being not being around many people. I get anxiety and I didn't go out to much before Covid either. Now before the stroke, you couldn't keep me home. Sadly when I try to blog, my brain has this whole thought but i find I leave a lot of my posts out. I work with people with handicaps and the fear of getting something and bringing it to work. That's why I'm nervous. My son never came to visit me when he had a cold, for that same reason. Sue, I tell folks I'm glad to wear a mask for no one can see me talking under my breath. lol

I'm selfishly happy that school will be remote, till at least mid-October. That means that my son will still be able to come visit my on the weekends, as per regular, but when school starts, we will have to go back to Face Time, Zoom and other ways because the county he is in has a higher amount of Covid-19 than mine and school is a cesspool of germs. It's funny how we would not be thinking about this like we are now. We have to keep PPE where I work and conduct temp checks , masks, gloves daily. It's a scary time.

Carrie, I can understand how you are feeling. Heck, I was just talking about how I have days when I TRULY can't get out bed. But it's not so much of depression as is it mental exhaustion. That could be seen as one in the same. Much like what was said before : friends, or ones I thought were, trickled off and I found myself going in to counseling and that was a god send. The woman who was my councilor ( for marriage) turned out she had two strokes so she understood my emotions and we shifted to stroke. I was so self conscience about going to places for I was afraid how I "thought" they were thinking about me and I felt like I needed to use a prop ( my cane) more to justify why I walked funny. But after realizing, this was over the course of years, it was in my thoughts, I began to change my views on things and (frankly not giving a 💩) I also know when I was in that funk, I would hear it does get better but I didn't want to hear it for they didn't get me but luckily , we mostly do, I hope you are able to take a sprinkle of all the advice and make a happy you xx

Oh I just noticed that picture has a nose piercing..I forgot about that. Just didn’t have a septum ring to complete the look 😉

I feel your ‘Jam’. I often tell people I was made for lockdown. You’re projects are beautiful. Hot and humid are two words not suitable for anything outside.

I know change is not easy for me... now.. Routine , now, helps me with memory. Change , in general, can make someone uneasy for they are stepping out of their comfort zone. What makes us happy- what we know.. I , now, have learned through my practices that change is a part of life and life is like water. Water never moves in a regimented form, So we all must become that which carves new pathways. But.... That being said, I'm still learning to fully commit it to my head space lol

Happy Rebirthday!!!!! You are right, two years IS a huge step forward. You are certainly taking the right steps by taking lessons again. It may feel scary at first but after a a while, that feeling diminishes to exhilaration. Fingers crossed for the responding communication. Way to go!!!!

I like to think I am. I spend a portion of my morning watching 'Would I lie to you" on BBC ( youtube) and the ones with Bob Mortimer .

Mike, I agree with spending as much time together and say everything you want to talk about. My heart aches with the sadness you have to go through but I'm glad it will be shared between the both of you 💓