ILoveGuineaPigs

It's been almost 4 months since my dad stroked. I don't know what phase I'm at. It just kills me whenever I visit my parents, even if he made big improvements. I still don't know how I want people to react. It bothers me when they ask, it saddens me and makes me think they don't care when they don't ask. Hugs to everyone here.

So, I guess I'm transiting the depression phase now, I think that was the next one. I thought I was better but like every next day I return from home, my feelings get mixed up and I get weepy. Also, I'm having some pressure from work, so today when my boss jokingly asked if I was angry as I was frowning, I cried in front of him. I told him it was not related to work, he understood and said he was sorry for asking and making me cry. On my way back, I took a cab and when the driver noticed I was crying, he proceeded to tell me his story about his ex who cheated on him and got pregnat by her lover and how heartbroken he was at first but now he was ok and ready for a new woman. I feel bad for crying publicly. I read your posts and I'm amazed at how strong you all are, though I know you have bad days, too. Then, I feel strupid for being so weak and a cry baby. :forgive_me?: to you too jjohnson and wishing and praying that your daughter Rachel gets better soon, lisas. Hugs to everyone on this forum. Thank you for letting me vent.

Thank you for sharing everyone. I just got back from visiting my parents. My mom had a car accident on Saturday morning when our car was hit by a drunk person. The car was almost totaled but she and the driver are ok (she only has a swollen knee). When she called to tell me what had happened me she was very calm and more worried about me and my dad than herself. When people learned about it they said what a bad luck she has lately, but when she came back she was smiling and said how lucky she is for being ok. So yes, it's all about the attitude. I'm so blessed for having a mom like mine.

Thank you, thank you everyone for the sincere replies. I know that from my post it seems like I'm complaining, but I'm not and couldn't, as I'm not the main caregiver and my mom who takes care of my dad and the bussiness does not ever complain. Tonight I was talking on the phone with her and as always I asked her if she was tired and stressed about the situation. She told me to stop asking that and that it made her angry because she didn't think about it and accepted the situation. Despite that, I know it hard for her and I feel guilty as I can't be there with them. It is hard to admit that stroke stinks. I guess it is because it's socially unacceptable to admit your weaknesses. When my father stroked, I took a week off from work and when I returned people were concerned and wanted to know about stroke, so I made a brief document from reliable sources about it and handed to several of them. Some of them are trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. :-) I do a list of 5 things I'm grateful for often and I still have more than 5 things. Tonight's list would be something like this: + My father, who isn't giving up and has made progress. + My mom, for being strong and optimistic. I would be a mess if it weren't for her. + My friends, for being real friends. + The guy I'm seeing, because he's very cute and for being who he is. + My pets: Nina the Cat, who liked to nap on my dad's chest and purr and she makes him smile. Whoever said that cats weren't loyal was very wrong. Tobias and Tubi: the pigs. They make my mom laugh. We have 2 tortoises but they're not very socialble :p Then, I have more things to be grateful for, but I think it's wonderful that the top 5 is of people/pets. cdewald, my pigs are: Tobias (AKA Toto) and Tubi Toto is the round one and Tubi is the small one. I love them so much!

I'm going through the angry phase. I know it is not a healthy emotion and am trying my best to work it out. I'm sad for my mom, who is my dad's caregiver and has to go through all this. I hate when people ask me how my dad is doing but don't know how to handle the response and ALWAYS say something stupid like it will make me a stronger person or how lucky he survived and something about God bla bla. I'm about to tell people to stop asking me and saying those things. I know they mean well, but what do they know? On the other hand, I also hate it when people seem to ignore that fact and expect me to be like before. Please, tell me I'm going to stop being angry.