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Stroke Survivor - female
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About becky1

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    Senior Mentor
  • Birthday 08/27/1956

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  1. 'Tis better to adapt, and adapt again, than not adapt t'all. Becky
  2. One thing is certain: STROKE IS NOT KIND TO MARRIAGES! Or, relationships of any kind. I had my brainstem stroke almost 11 years ago, and I think I'm qualified to say that as my husband has been my sole caregiver. He's been a good caregiver most of the time, but when you do anything 24/7, it gets old. I, too, have experienced the rolled eyes when I ask for something, seen the cringes when he hears his name called, or the sounds of sighs. All of this hurts me beyond belief, and I'm pretty low on the scale of caregiving needs. But, there are 2 things that never seem to change. One is that I, too, seem to have "good timing". It's almost guaranteed that at the last 15 min. of a movie he's been watching that he'll hear, "I've got to pee". He has trouble falling asleep. Just as he's finally drifting off, he hears his name being called. I don't mean to be disruptive, but I know that I am sometimes. And,it never changes. It may in the future,but we don't know that now. We can only deal with what is, and pray for a better tomorrow. But,on the other hand, we didn't ask for a stroke either. And we shouldn't be punished for it. I don't know the answer either. What's helped us when things get really stressful around here is to tell each other that we're still committed to our relationship, and that each of us still loves the other. Joe,maybe you can try emailing, or calling family/friends, and having conversations with them one-on-one.This will serve 2 purposes, hopefully. After having several conversations with you, they will draw their own conclusion, and be able to say that you don't sound like you're "losing it" to them. Secondly, maybe by reaching out to others, you won't feel so alone. Hope something here helps. Best, Becky
  3. Jay, I know it's hard, but try not to think about it-as the others have said. It's kinda like ignoring the elephant in the room, isn't it? Know that when you go to see the doc, that we're all with you,and that you're in my prayers. Keep us posted. Best, Becky
  4. Cypher, Your anger, frustration, and despair are very understandable.We've all been there a time or 2 . Please feel free to vent here whenever you need to. Know that we listen and understand. We "get it" because we've been there, and still go there from time to time. I had a massive brainstem stroke about 11 years ago. I have been in a wheelchair since then.But, suddenly, at 7 yrs. post, I was able to do things like standing up on own, which I hadn't been able to do before.So, I went back to therapy to work on walking. I've made progress, but it's slow. I'm about where you are, I think,but nowhere near walking on my own, even with a walker. My point is that you never know. Your brain has its own timetable, and all you can do is to keep on trying. Becky
  5. I don't fret too much about being slow; I think I'm used to it. But, I do get frustrated about not being able to do things, especially simple things, or at least things that used to be simple. Like wrapping Xmas presents, or tying a shoe. Then I get really frustrated. I have found that the best solution for me is adaptation. For instance, instead of getting frustrated trying to wrap presents,I get holiday-themed present bags, and just drop the present in the bag, and avoid wrapping at all. In the beginning, I had a lot of difficulty opening child-proof medicine caps. I requested normal caps from the drugstore because there are no children in our house. Avoiding problems? Yep. But it sure makes life easier,and it makes me a more pleasant person to be around.Problem is, there are a lot of things out there for which there isn't an adaptation.Then you utter a few unprintable words, and go into duck-mode. Becky
  6. Michael, I have gone through some of the same trials as Meghan, and I know how difficult this has been for both of you. And,I'm not the only one as there are others here who have fought the same, or similar, demons. But,each stroke is unique to the one who has it, So, it logically follows that each recovery is different,too. So, it's senseless to compare Meghan to me, or anyone else. But,we all have things in common. One of these is that regardless of the difficulties, it gets easier with time. We survivors and our caregivers either become more proficient at handling the deficits, or the deficits improve. Improvements come slowly. The best way to encourage the improvements is therapy, and whether or not therapy is available, working on the deficits at home. What Meghan needs most right now from you is encouragement and positive thinking. Don't let the docs convince ya'll that progress stops a year post-stroke. As long as you work on it, progress will continue way past a year. So, don't give up! But it may slow down at some point, and this is where your positive thinking and encouragement will get a real work-out! Good luck to both of you. And please join our caregivers' chats, Michael. Our caregivers have a wealth of knowledge on everything, and you can get help with anything-caregiving there. Becky
  7. 7You're not getting older- you're getting younger! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Becky
  8. Alan, I'm so sorry about your Mom. I think that Pearl's suggestions were wise ones. Becky
  9. Heather, Welcome! As a stroke survivor/anxiety sufferer, I've found this to be a comfortable place I haven't been able to do much research either, because of my anxiety. But, I can usually handle info as it's given out here because it's handed out in smaller amounts that I can digest. Consequently, I've learned a lot about strokes here without feeling nauseous. On my better days, and when I was able to control my anxiety better because of medication, I have been able to research further on topics which interested me. The numbness that you're feeling is due to neurological damage caused by your stroke. It may improve-but like everything stroke you"ll have to "wait and see". It is a common stroke effect, which has no treatment, which is why your docs may not be overly concerned with the numbness. There are some things that you can do for your anxiety; exercise, meditation,or medication, to name just a few. I went the med route because I wanted a quick end to the panic attacks, and constant fear of having another panic attack.Ask your doc. Good luck with everything. Becky
  10. Hi, Bill, I'm truly sorry that you had to go thru so much in such a short span of time. And maintaining a good attitude at the same time, is awesome! Welcome to Strokenet! Come here as often as you want to, and share whatever you want to about your recovery journey, your successes, your failures, your questions, rants-whatever you need,or want to share. We''ll give as much support as we can. Good luck,Becky
  11. I don't know what your physical limitations are,if any. Because I'm in a wheelchair, and am in desperate need of doing something that I love, I've toyed with the idea of going to an on-line program. I've looked into a couple, but not in-depth. Might be an option to consider. Becky
  12. No one can take away your Disability but Social Security, and they won't take it away just for going to Voc Rehab. But, if you start working, that can affect your Disability. And, if you cannot do the job, you can't just go back on Disability,like nothing had ever happened.You have to reapply, with no guarantee of getting it back. Becky
  13. That's just it- I do take it at night, and it affects me like that the next day! At first, I had the same plan as you. I was prescribed 10 mg. AM and PM., But knowing that I've always been sensitive to meds causing sleepiness, I took my PM dose, and planned to add my AM dose when I got used to it. While it's gotten somewhat better, it hasn't improved enough that I want to double my dose like I am supposed to. But, as the cold is starting to set in here, it's starting to bother me more, and I may have to reconsider. Becky
  14. Ken, Do you think that the cold weather may have something to do with it? I don't have CPS, but I do have tone and spasticity. They have both been irritating me more in the last week or so-since it has gotten colder here. I used to live in NYS, and if it's getting colder here in WV, I know that it's getting much colder in NY. Take good care, Becky
  15. 1. No. It has me. 2. Only when the cells flop over dead. 3. (My favorite) Yes. Can you? Becky 0