Stroke Survivor - female
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About becky1

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  • Birthday 08/27/1956

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
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  1. Good luck, Pearls, and keep us updated, as I can always use good ideas in this area, and I'm sure there are others. Becky
  2. Good therapists are worth their weight in gold, aren't they? Yesterday, my new therapist taught me to butt-walk. She said that my butt muscles are weak, and that's why I can't move my lt foot backwards (can't butt-walk well either). Butt-muscles are connected to the ham-strings. Makes sense, doesn't it? I gage how good a therapist is by how I feel after therapy. Yesterday, I was exhausted. Means she was making me work muscles that weren't used to having to work. A good therapist. A GOOD therapist, and a GOOD doc? You've been twice-blessed, to make up for all of your crappy experiences. And, you deserve it. We all do. It just doesn't always work out that way.GOOD NEWS. Becky
  3. Kim, This is a very common issue following a stroke. It's so common, that our Kelli has lead 2 discussion groups about the topic. It is no one's fault, it just happens to some couples. It can be due to the stress of the situation, as you said. My husband said to me that he couldn't be my caregiver and lover at the same time, which, it seems is also a common response for males. In time, he may be able to deal with the feelings that he's having. But, until then, try to let him know that it's all right, you still love him, and enjoy cuddling until he's able to experience more sexual contact. Becky
  4. Pearls, This could have been written by me. It echoes my feelings so much of the time. In the beginning, I didn't care. After I got out of in-pt. rehab, I went to out-pt. rehab. And my life revolved around rehab- I was always either getting ready for rehab, in it, or sleeping because I had been to rehab, and was exhausted. When rehab ended, I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't work, couldn't drive my very gently used F150 (it was a "thing" among friends to see this 5' tall woman driving a BIG pick-up). When I finally did get back in the kitchen, I couldn't find anything, because nothing was where I put it. I'd lived in that house for almost 20 yrs., and couldn't find anything! Yep, I'd lost my identity. But this is so hard to explain to anyone. To my own ears,I sound ungrateful for all that has been done to help me. So, I don't say much, I just quietly assert the ability to do something, then do it, to prove that I can. But, it's a battle i'M STILL FIGHTING. BEST, BECKY
  5. Kathy, I think that it was the late comediane Erma Bombeck,who said, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince." She also said, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I'm sorry you were hurt. But, someday, you'll consider him one of your frogs. Becky
  6. At least it's done, and you don't have to worry about it anymore. Hope it does everything that you want it to, and more. And, let's hope and pray that the pain disappears quickly. Thanks for the update, and please update as you can. Becky
  7. Toni, When I first read this person's comment, I was angered, but, on reflection, I think that it was made by an ignorant (as in unaware, misinformed) person, who lumps all people who are different from the norm into 1 category, and fails to even notice, or care, that there are differences between them. Idon't know if the remark was unkinly- I think that depends on the context , or the circumstances at the time that the remark was made. Becky
  8. There's an Oak Island,NC,too. I wonder what would happen if they now found out that everyone has been going to the wrong Oak Island.... Becky
  9. Finally! A doc who seems to know his stuff, and care about the patient! Sounds like a winner to me. More importantly, sounds like he may be able to actually help you. HOORAY!! BECKY
  10. Kathy, His behavior may be due to his stroke, or if he's drinking a lot, to his stroke and alcohol.Doesn't matter really what it's due to, it is. A long time ago, I learned that if you have to convince someone not to end the relationship, you need to run for the hills. Because he''ll never be truly committed unless he arrives at that decision himself. And, if he's not truly committed, then he won't do much, if anything, to make the relationship last. My advice is to go on about your life. If he changes his mind, I'm sure you'll be the first to know. He'll never be the same person you knew before the stroke, and there's nothing that you can do about it, even if you stay. Becky
  11. All works of fiction contain fictional elements, or they wouldn't be "friction" at all- they'd be autobiographies, biographies, or, in the case of film, documentaries. All works of fiction ask you to suspend disbelief for a second, and "see" what the writer has dreamed.So, it's JMO, but I don't think that you have to be accurate with every single thing, unless you're writing non-fiction. It's important to write a story in which all details and characters blend together to make a "good read". Becky
  12. Deb, Age is certainly a factor in stroke recovery, but it isn't the only factor. Perhaps the kind of stroke, and where in the brain it occurred is even more important than age.I was only 50 1/2 yrs old when I had a massive brainstem stroke. The docs told my hubby that where I had my stroke ( brainstem), and the kind of stroke that I had (massive hemorrhagic) made it likely that I wouldn't survive more than 48 hrs. And, if I were among the 2% who do survive, I'd be a "vegetable" ( their terminology, not mine- I hate this word). Well,obviously, both predictions failed, as here I am, 10 yrs. later, typing this post to you. But, listen, Deb, that doesn't mean that he'll have a full recovery, because each stroke and each recovery is different. What you can take joy from is that his recovery to date has been excellent, and there's absolutely no reason not to expect him to recover more. As time goes on, his recovery may slow down, but that doesn't mean that it's gone away permanently. It's just slowed down. The best thing that ya'll can do for your Dad rt now is to remain encouraging and optimistic. Stroke recovery is hard work, and he needs hope and encouragement to continue this journey. Becky
  13. Amelia, You received valuable advice from everyone and I can't add to it. I just want to reiterate what someone said: No matter how overwhelmed you may feel now, it does get better. Either your husband's deficits will improve and/or you 2 will adapt yourselves to the challenges. We have several good caregivers here like Sandy ( above), who can answer any question you may have. Go to caretakers' chat, or come here to the message board to ask a question, vent, or share how you solved a problem with caregiving. While your husband is away, it may be helpful to you both if you ready your home for his homecoming as much as you can. For instance, are there likely to be mobility challenges? Do you need a wheelchair ramp built, or a shower chair ordered? How about grab bars in the bedroom and bathroom? If finances are likely to be a problem, you may want to get his SSI(Disability) app rolling, because they are slow, and almost always deny your first app, causing you to have to re-apply, which takes more time.Do you think he has benefits from work? Don't know? Call them. Does he have a family doc? He'll need one to refill any prescriptions he'll have, or to order things like a shower chair. If he's going to go to in-pt. rehab following hosp, you may want to wait and ask his therapists what he needs. on some things like mobility issues, because those needs can change rather quickly. You may find that readying your home makes you feel less overwhelmed, and more in control of what's going on. Welcome to Strokenet, BTW! This is a great place to be if you're dealing with a stroke, or are caregiver to a survivor! Becky
  14. Hi, Joe. Thanks for your clarification. I feel much better now, too! One of the things about having a stroke in the pons is that you can have bilateral ( on both sides of your body) damage. Sounds like both of your feet took a hit. Both of my eyes and both ears were affected, even though it's mostly my left side that was affected. I've been wheelchair-bound since my stroke 10 yrs ago, have been working intensively on walking for the last 3 yrs., so I completely understand your wanting to walk. I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to undergo surgery for 12 hrs total in order to do so though, even with my determination. Thank-you for not getting upset with all of my questions. I was concerned that the surgery would crush your ability to ever walk again, instead of helping it. Good luck,and Godspeed, Becky
  15. Joe, Please forgive me if I sound overly persistent, but I am not comfortable with a few things. 1- I still do not understand why you have to have surgery on both feet. Are both affected? 2- Do you have your doc's assurance that this surgery will not keep you from learning to walk? By that I mean: Will having your ankle totally immobilized prohibit you from ever walking again? Let me tell you why I'm concerned. I,too, had a major stroke in the pons, 10 years ago. And, I'm just now learning to walk. Actually, I've been working on it for the last 3 yrs. I, too, have had 3 prior AFO's which didn't work, but I think that the full-leg brace will help a lot, but it's taken me 10 yrs to find it. You're only 40, and 3 yrs out. You have a lot of good recovery yet to come. I'm not a dr, and every stroke, and every survivor is different. If you want to see what I mean by "other options, you might check out the Bioness website. I think that it was originally designed to help with drop-foot issues, and you might be able to pick up some useful info there. Good luck, Becky