becky1

LOL! Absolutely delightful, Bruce. You tell 'em! Glad you guys are doing well! Miss you 2, but glad to hear Bruce still has his sense of humor! Becky

Pam, you know as I, that sometimes you have to choose your battles, and I do not see how you can win the dining room battle with no witnesses. But the cable box issue does not need a witness. How do they decide who gets a box, and who doesn't? Becky

Fred, We're going thru the opposite: After doing his 5 yrs., and getting out of prison, my step-son is getting ready to go back in. This time, for about 10 yrs. We knew it was going to be hard on him, getting out of prison, finding a job, etc. We did all we could to help him. Gave him a place to live, helped him find a job, etc. And, he did better than we expected.We even dared to hope that he had finally learned his lesson, and was going to be O.K. But, in the end, he chose the drugs again. So, don't stress, Fred. Because you can't control your daughter's actions. If you find a place for them to live, and, they don't like it, they can find another place themselves. You can only do what you can do, and the rest is up to them. Rest easy. Becky

Pam, The thing about incompetent people is that they rarely know that they are incompetent; and if they do know, they don't care. So, it's necessary for others to watch them, and, report their incompetency to their superiors in order to make them aware of the incompetent ones actions before that person does some real harm to someone. You had no choice but to report her. And, now, the responsibility for doing anything about her incompetence is right where it needs to be- on the shoulders of her boss. Becky

Pam, I am not a fan of nursing homes, but realise that they are sometimes needed. I have dealt with 3, been in one as a patient, and sued 1. According to both State and Federal regs, all NH should have prominently displayed in their facility 2 ph nos: 1 for the Omsbudsman, and one for the State. The Oms. is sort of a mediator, and brings NH complaints to the Directer of the facility in the hope of resolution. But, they have no legal authority over the NH. The State will investigate the complaint about the NH to see if there is any merit to it. They do have legal authority, and can sanction them (charge them a fine), or call in the Feds, who can shut 'em down. To complain about billing errors, contact your billing source. To make a complaint about a staff member, you can also talk to the DON- Director of Nursing. To make a complaint of neglect or abuse of a pt, you can also call Adult Protective Services, a part of your local Social Services. They don't have any authoity to do anything, but they will investigate the complaint, and notify the State if they find anything. Hope you never need any of this. Becky

Breathe, Nancy. Breathe. And consider yourself hugged! Becky

Geez, Nancy. I hope you'll follow up with your doc, or a neuro. Glad you were in a safe place when this happened. I'm also glad to hear you both seem to be doing better. Becky

It's so good to hear from you, and also know that things are getting better for you. If all you can do is to get through a day, then that in itself is an accomplishment. And you should pat yourself on the back for a job well-done! Thoughts and prayers, Becky

Hi, Nancy! So glad you checked in, and you and Dan are OK. I know that things are still a little rough around the edges, but please let us know how you all are doing when you have time. My prayers for you both....Becky

Debbie, Congrats on trying something new and different. Hope ya'll have a wonderful time! Becky

Congratulations on Larry's upcoming homecoming, Julie. The hospitalization may be a blessing in disguise, because, with the feeding tube, his care may be a little easier. You won't have to worry if he's eating enough, worry about what to feed him since not much appeals to him, wonder if his fluids are enough, etc. I don't mean this in a mean way, it's just that with a feeding tube, you won't have to worry about his diet, and that's one thing less to fret over, and Larry, at the same time, will get good nutrition without struggling to eat food when he doesn't feel hungry, or eat things he no longer likes. I had one until I could re-learn eating, and I watched the nurses care for it- this seemed very straightforward, and quick.If Larry ever needs it removed, that, too, is painless, and quick. Good luck, and WELCOME HOME, LARRY! Becky

Good riddance! Thank-you for hanging in there, and fighting for your rights as a patient, because in doing so, you were making a statement for all of us! Becky

Broken- I liked all of Donna's advice, but especially liked her idea of your seeing an eldercare attorney because doing so can go a long way in reducing your anxiety. 2 other things: At their ages, your children don't have the ability to fully understand , so, my advice is to wait until they ask you questions, and answer only the question they pose, without volunteering any additional info, as this will only confuse them more. Ex.: Child asks,"When's Daddy coming home?" You say, "When the dr. says he can." Don't volunteer that he has an aspiration pneumonia unless they ask because they will have no clue what you're talking about, which will confuse and scare them even more. Stick to short, easy-to-understand, honest answers. My question to you is that if he keeps aspirating, is a peg being considered? It may be a good option. Best, Becky

Dean, If you aren't already, just watch your diet carefully. Particularly, keep your salt intake low and watch fats, carbs, and sugar. Find a moderate exercise regime, join a gym, or take water therapy classes, anything to get regular exercise. Congrats on getting off your meds, now "help" yourself stay off of them. Becky

Nancy, honey, I'm so sorry. Stress can do a lot, and I'm sorry everything sucks right now. Try focusing on one thing at a time-easier said than done, I know, but try so that you don't feel so overwhelmed. Prayers, Becky

Sassy, I don't always read blogs, because I either don't have time, or my eyrs are bothering me. But, I read this one, and am so glad I did, because I may have a solution to your prolem thatDOESN'T involve Mr. expletive deleted dr. Many drug stores and places like Walmart sell Compression socks, which DO NOT require a prescription. Choose your ugly as they come in white or flesh-colored, and, are ugly, but work, especially if you take blood pressure pills. My new GP prescribed a blood pressure med that has a diuretic in it. Socks + med = no swelling, or greatly reduced swelling. Your GP can prescribe med. If you don't have a GP, why not? Once you're sent home from hospital or rehab, there's not much, if anything, a neuro can do, unless you have a specific neuro problem, like I see one for my tone, but my GP manages all my other meds. Happy hunting! Becky

I'm not sure how common this is, but quite a few spouses have claimed that the stroked spouse displays a lot of animosity. However, your father's sounds a little extreme to me: He's going to take a knife to her; doesn't want her at family gatherings, and kicks her hard enough to almost knock her over. I think that you need to try and find either a stroke psychologist or a stroke psychiatrist for him. An antidepressant may help, but I think he needs more. Also, you may want to talk to an attorney about getting POA over one, if not both parents because, without her consent, I'm not sure you can send your father anywhere. Becky

Julie, Thanks for the update. I was especially glad to hear that you're satisfied with his care, and that your children are there for you. Merry Christmas to you and yours,Becky

Julie , So sorry to hear this. Request for prayers granted. Would going back on weighted fluids and/pureed food help instead of feeding tube? Becky

John, You handled this so well...It never would have occurred to me to go to ER. You are someone who needs to trust his judgement, if you don't already- at least where your Mother is concerned! Becky

Fred! So glad you made a blog entry, and you're OK. Hope you mend well soon, and can join us on the board! Prayers, Becky

Debbie, I've wondered that something had happened. So glad you're both OK. Sorry about your cousin. Isn't it sad and good that it takes a funeral to bring a family together? I see family at a death that I haven't seen in years. Enjoy your retirement, and give Bruce a big hug for me. He's doing so well! Becky

Lady Rose, I actively look all of the time for things that I might can do 1-handed. And one thing I settled on was cooking. Unlike you, I was not an experienced cook, nor did I like it much. So, I went on-line, and found that there is a wealth of free recipes out there! Virtually, every food producer has a web site devoted to recipes. Like "Kraft", "Betty Crocker", etc. Or, try searching by product, such as potato, pork, anything you want. Web sites usually have a search on site, in which you can search for a particular recipe if you want. Look for recipes that are "quick and easy", and look at Sandy's suggestions for "helpers", and I bet you'll be cooking like a pro again in no time! And,have new recipes to share! Becky