Donna4444

I'm glad things are starting to look up for you and Bruce. You've both been through so much. Batten the hatches for Irene!

Let him have it, Ruth! I've been taking care of my brother since we took him out of foster care. I can't get him to do anything useful without a tremendous amount of badgering. He has lost his self-confidence and doesn't think he can do anything but when I push him hard enough, he finds out that, yes, he can do it and he is happy about it. Just an hour ago, I was begging, pleading and nagging him to start working on some of his hobbies in the garage. He walked out to the garage, turned on the lights, stood there for a minute, turned off the lights, came back in and plunked in front of the TV. I left the dirty dishes in the sink, stomped off to my room and slammed the door. He got up, did the dishes and went back out to the garage

The best book/information I got on one-handed aids is the Tommye K Mayer book, One-handed in a Two-handed World. Dean Thank you, Dean....I will definitely get it!

Wow! Thank you Debbie, Asha and Sue for your great ideas and emotional support! I wish I had gotten involved with this blog months ago. I think it would have saved us from some of the mental anguish my sister and I have been going through. I will be going to see my sister next week (she lives about 200 miles from me in the same town my brother has his house) and will bring all this great info with me. I was thinking last nite, as I am unemployed at this time, that I would move into Warren's house for awhile and we could take him out of his foster care home and see how it goes. He definitely needs additional OT. The people at the foster care place do everything for him so that those few things he learned in rehab have probably been forgotten. Unfortunately, he still can't write (except for his signature....that he has no problem with, oddly enough) and we don't believe he can read, either. His bathroom will definitely need a handicapped accessible shower and some other things. His house is one level so it won't be especially difficult for him to get around with his cane. Could someone recommend a good site/supplier of aids for one-handed people? Does anyone have any of these things they wish to sell? What devices have been especially useful? Again, thank you! You folks are great! Donna

Words of wisdom, Asha, thank you. I guess we are still fixated on the half empty glass versus the half full glass. We do our utmost, however, not to show our fear and desperation around Warren. We are always cheerful and full of funny stories for him. We encourage him and praise each little improvement. The last thing he needs is to see us moping and whining! I have a cute story for you. After Warren's stroke, he started losing his hair in a dramatic fashion. But, about eight months later, when my sister and I had him over for a weekend, I noticed that it started growing back. I told him about it and said that maybe it was a result of all the trauma he had been through (an infection in his mechanical heart valve caused a "mild stroke," then he needed emergency valve replacement surgery during which he had the massive stroke). A little later we went to his house to check on things and as we were leaving, he signaled with his cane to wait a moment. He tottered into the bathroom, rummaged in the cabinet, and came out smiling with a bottle of Rogaine. I guess with all this other crap he had been going through, he had no intention of losing all of his hair, too!

Thank you Asha for your kind words. I like what you wrote about "life post stroke." At this stage of the game, my sister and I only foresee more misery and financial hardship . . . we can't seem to wrap our minds around anything positive. Which is truly unfortunate considering how well Warren has done in his recovery (10 months since the big S). He was truly a mess, the poor guy. But he has no eating difficulties, he can bathe himself, he has his "regular" face back (no drooping to speak of), he can even walk a few steps without his cane. He seems to know what's going on, but, as he doesn't talk, we don't know to what extent he really understands things. He can raise his right arm but his hand is still non-functioning. Have you recovered the use of your left arm and leg? I'm sure your positive attitude has done much to help you. Donna

Thank you, Debbie, for your swift response and excellent advice. We have shut his house down already and taken out those few things he had that are worth anything. I'll talk to my sister about the rental idea but the house is pretty run down (typical bachelor...you can eat off the garage floor but the house can go to hell in a handbasket) and I'm afraid anyone we could get to rent it will be . . . how shall I say it . . . less than desirable. Medically, Warren is in pretty good shape. He has had a seizure as a result of the anti-spasticity drugs and is now taking something to combat that nasty side-effect. He walks very well with a cane and can negotiate steps. His biggest problem is his inability to speak (or write) so it is difficult to know how much he understands. He appears lucid and seems to take in what we are saying. I think we will have to sell the truck. We've been dreading doing this as Warren just bought the darn thing just before his stroke and likes to "visit" it when we take him over to his house for a few hours. He's depressed enough now the way it is. Thank you again for all of your advice. My sister and I have been tearing our hair out trying to figure out what to do. Best to you and your husband, Donna

Hello everyone, My brother suffered a massive stroke last fall and, as he is unmarried, my sister and I have been looking after his finances while he is in a group foster home. He has been approved for Social Security payments but will not be eligible for Medicare for two more years (he is 51) and the insurance from his former workplace expires in two months. We have been paying for his care at the foster home ($4000/mo.) - as well as his truck payments and household bills - with his savings (we have P.O.A. for him). Thankfully, he has always been a good saver. However, his savings will not last forever. We are not sure how to approach paying for the gap in insurance as well as how to best use his savings. We had hoped that he might be well enough by this time to return to his house but that is not an option at this point. We are in desperate need of advice! Thank you, Donna