rose72450

ty ken and susan... it's getting better every day i haven't had a meltdown in a week my toes are still numb but i fnd my left arm itching more and more so at least i'm begining to feel something in that arm....but i find more pain now in both arm and leg. i still can't write, can't hold a pen yet but i try at least once a day. i've began to drink boost shakes as i still can not eat very much because of the smell. things are looking up.

thnx pam , i do try to remember how far i've come during my recovery. although hard sometimes. it does help reflect every so often. :)and to know your not alone.

thank you everyone for your advice my first step will be talking with my doc ns seeing if there are different meds i can take as i have a mitro valve prolaspse as well. but then its one day at a time for me. step by step.until pretty soon it wont get to me so bad. i know i wont ever be 100% bk to normal. but maybe i'll get where i can enjoy life again. ty all for all your support and wisdom on this matter. it has already helped me look at things in a different way...

so true hun and if it were my husband {god forbid} i would not hesitate to do all i could for him. he is my rock as well as my children but its hard ecspecially when i fall. that is the hardest for me.hurts my pride mostly. i am the one who usually takes care of everything and its hard not to continue that but since starting this topic yesterday . things already seem a lil lighter on me. because i now know i'm not alone. and there are people who understand me. i can't thank any of you enough for putting me on the right track .

yes they are. so many times i wanted to give up and still do. but the guilt of being a burden to other's is just to much to bare.My poor husband takes the blunt of it with my crying outburst's over everything that happens.. to even be somewhat normal again would be a blessing. hang in there nancy. and good luck. ... rose

Ty susan, it's really good to know i'm not alone.i can explain and explain what i feel to someone and unless they have been through it. no matter how hard i try. and they try they just can't quite understand.The best way i can say it. is like i'm trapped in a broken body screaming to get out and no one can hear me..it's been 2 yrs and it feels like yesterday. you think i'd be use to it by now. I can walk on my own now and somewhat grasp small things with my hand but with pain afterwards but my toes feel like i have frost bite. and my taste is mostly gone especially with meat. it all still smells rotten. the first year i went from 249lbs. to 135 lbs. which has hinder my recovery because i was so weak. i'm still weak. just not as i was . it's mainly the mood swings. the up's and down's . the extreme aniexty/panic attacks and although i try to pretend to everyone i'm ok on the outside on the inside i'm a mess. the doctor's tell you how to treat the outside, what to expect and what to do, but they tell you nothing about what it does to you mentally.i'm glad i found some people who understand.

ty dena... for your words of encouragement.i think its what i need... people who understand instead of getting oh come on hurry up.and i will talk with my doc a.s.a.p and see what he can do. good luck to you to hun.

i want to thank you all for your responses... it's hard when you see people doing things you used to do and have to sit on the sidelines.i am thankful i'm alive but yet a lil angry as well. but i guess god has plans for me and maybe he felt i could handle this.i'm always usually a happy person but since the stroke that changed everything did. i push myself in the gym daily to get bk even half of what i had and people around don't understand they just get upset. only my husband understandsi had the stroke only 5 mos. after we married and he was in norway at the time. i'm truly blessed to have him in my life.ty all for sharing your stories. i guess i need to just push forward and live with what i have....do the best i can

hi everyone, it's been awhile since i posted anything on here since last i have gotten my apetite back. not fully but alot more then it was. but the mood swings are outragious. i'm on xanax and zoloft and neither seems to be helping with my panic/aniexty i get so frustated so easy with anything and everything. especially when i can't do alot of things on my own like i used to. i have basically confined myself to my bedroom i cry over the littliest things and then i get frustrated again because i really don't know why i'm crying. i know the people in my life don't understand why i push them away.i just can't handle being around more than 5 people at a time.i have no energy anymore and get tired very quickly/ it's been 2 yrs since my stroke and it feels like yesterday.. any advice would be greatly appreciated.i'm willing to try anything i'm at the end of my rope..