Stroke Caregiver - female
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Everything posted by SandyCaregiver

  1. SandyCaregiver

    I'm sorry to hear that Dan is up to his old tricks again, and you are falling into HIS pattern of his way or ELSE. I remember the affect it had on you before, when the more you gave in to his 'or else' demands, the worse he got with them. Please be careful Nancy. Don't be controlled by him again, he doesn't see your needs.
  2. SandyCaregiver

    I'm sorry for your loss... and I am thankful to hear that everything seemed to work together to make it as peaceful a closure as anyone could hope for. I know you will have ups and downs in the changing of your 'role' in this life, and my prayers go with you, I hope to be able to do as well by my own husband, as you did with William.
  3. SandyCaregiver

    Wow, you have came thru so much, Sue. You are an amazing woman and I have been blessed to have gotten to read your blog over the years. It is true that we are all, perhaps living on angel time, we just don't know it yet. Peace in the time of knowing it, is all any of us can pray for, and you are shining like a star right now!
  4. SandyCaregiver

    I think we all get caught up in whatever is the prevalent thing in our life, and it can overtake everything else. It's not that different than what your stepmom is doing, but hers is more visible - she is stuck in a place in her mind where she can't stop thinking about the same thing, just like you are stuck. Ok, now to tell on my self. I'm not one of those people that expect or even want help from others, my manifestation of this same 'mind set' is that I have a lot to do and also my own health problems, so I want to do what I need to do fast, and resent getting somewhere (like the pha
  5. SandyCaregiver

    well.... I guess the biggest things that jump into my mind are all the times when he would do the hunger strikes, and remember when he refused to get out of the van for 3 days and ruined it. I remember him being very cruel to you... often. At least when he's there, you CAN get away from him and just think of your own welfare. I have no idea about ther money, is anything in his name still and if not, how long has it been out of his name? Seems like medicaid could help pay?
  6. SandyCaregiver

    I am sorry for what you are both going thru. I would like to add that Bob recently had an incident that affected his speech and vision, and during this time period, began to see things and people that were not there. It was a type of seizure... the same kind where people hear the same song non-stop or smell a certain smell - all coming from the brain. In his case it was visual.
  7. SandyCaregiver

    Yes, and when I say 'grit' I mean grit your teeth and keep at it!
  8. SandyCaregiver

    We had extremely good insurance at the time, and my husband actually got 52 DAYS of therapy a year (not sessions, but days, with as many sessions in each that you could stuff in). We usually skipped winter/flu season, but in good weather we went 5 days a week and then the first 2 years there were loads of doctor appts. My little 2 year purse calendar definitely got a work out then, hardly and empty block on it. With Bob's month, we are not getting as many of the DIFFERENT things done that I want to, but I have felt so ratty myself, so that's the reason. But I'm thankful for
  9. SandyCaregiver

    Durn, Nancy, that place should be paying YOU, since you seem to be working there. ? It would appear you are too stubborn (at trying to be everything to everyone) to just say no, so at the time I'm reading this, I'm praying the hip is about ready to take over the extra work you're doing because of that fall. Love you, kiddo.
  10. That's beautiful, Asha. I'm so glad you both have the kind of relationship that grows together, instead of thwarting each other. It matters more in quality of life and happiness, than the circumstances of what happened.
  11. SandyCaregiver

    Therapy Planner Page

    I've recently gotten into bullet journaling - which has went into an art form, and I'm loving it. I started trying to bullet journal around the middle of Feb, and use a 2 pg daily spread, with everything on it. One of the many things I want to try to get back into is my stroke hubby's therapy, that we are not doing anything, on a regular basis, on (stroked 2012). I got this free print off from a bullet journal group, where the designer wanted to see what people would do with it. There were many things I could use if for, and I pondered it carefully. Then I thought if I used it for hi
  12. SandyCaregiver

    Sue, do you have any idea why my words are highlighted with white behind them?
  13. SandyCaregiver

    Bob's Surprise Package

    Haven't shared anything in a long time, but Bob got a nice surprise in the mail today, and I wanted to share it with everyone! Our niece works at the sports arena, and has sent her Uncle Bob a care package of his favorite basket ball team! There are a long poster of the players, 2 Blue Nation candy bars, and another hat to add to his beloved collection of UK hats! Look at his face! HE TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT!
  14. SandyCaregiver

    oh yes, I see I clicked on the link to grit chair, a different one. My husband has an electric wheelchair, that comes in about 4 parts, each weighing about 39 pounds. When we took it to go to a reunion, it was soooooo hard, because everytime I'd heave up a piece and turn to place it, there'd be some friend standing there, trying to chat me up. Dudes! See my red fast and fast breathing, and sweat running down my face? Yes, that's why they say, I'd help you if I could, but I don't know how it all works. Well... hmmmm... how about waiting till we are inside and THEN coming to talk t
  15. SandyCaregiver

    worried about you
  16. SandyCaregiver

    The more things there are, the more chance someone can find something that works for them. :)
  17. SandyCaregiver

    Ron... do people have to pump this chair to get it to move? That wold be impossible.
  18. SandyCaregiver

    Dear Nancy, I know you are devastated with all this, and have pretty much lived at 'devastated' during the entire time, because of Dan's attitude. I know you will cry and be miserable, but not for this, for the 'would have been life' that we all missed out on. That won't change, and Dan being here miserable and making everyone else feel like they are caught between misery and despair won't erase those feelings either. It is a bad situation, and it's going to get worse. But, cry all you need to, while taking care of Nancy, and one day you will laugh... and feel guilty.... but it is no
  19. SandyCaregiver

    could you give a link to the site you bought it from?
  20. SandyCaregiver

    EDIT TO ADD THIS FIRST PARAGRAPH: First, let me say that when my husband stroked Feb 2012, all 'me' activities ended. I spent the next few years, looking for that elusive moment to wash my face, often not finding it. I took a 5 minute shower once a week, whether I needed it or not. Then in Dec 2015, I noticed something..... he was doing better... I don't mean his handicaps had gone away, just that we had our routine and he wasn't in so much need and I actually had time to consider doing something of the 'me' kinda thing. That month (Dec 2015, my crafting exploded with countless c
  21. SandyCaregiver

    Nancy, you have spent years being TOO EMPATHETIC with Dan, and I feel (just my own feelings, ok?) that it was only an enabler to him thinking he could get away with anything, because he was 'brain damaged'. Dan is not like Bob. Bob is thankful to still be here, and have a chance to enjoy the sun and the days of being alive. Dan is angry and belligerent, and wants to take everyone down to be as miserable as he is. And he's already achieved that goal with you, nearly destroying you, while you struggled to show compassion, he'd poop all over the bed, waiting till it was time for you t
  22. SandyCaregiver

    WOOT! You are finding Tracy, and she is a great gal!
  23. SandyCaregiver

    Wow, Tracy, I didn't know this was going on. I'm sorry you have had to go thru this. I am so glad to hear how you are coming back to life, and each day, living it YOUR way, taking a little more back. You have shown so much strength and bravery, in the face of all this, you will surely keep going and growing, more everyday. Prayers and virtual hugs, coming your way!
  24. SandyCaregiver

    Nancy, Dan has been spoilt into believing you will do anything to appease him, and look where it got YOU. It didn't help him any either. I don't know what his answer is, but I do know that the sooner he realizes he is not the king and everyone else the peons, that life will move more smoothly. I'm glad you sutck up for yourself, that means your head is in the right place, and no more mind control games on you! Good job!
  25. SandyCaregiver

    so sorry to hear of your friends passing. It is so painful, I'm glad you have so many wonderful memories of him.