Stroke Survivor - female
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Everything posted by newlease

  1. Yes it is getting totally out of control and the anger is exponentially increasing which does not help matters. Never thought to see this country in such depression with a man who has not understanding of the chaos he has unleashed on this country and the world as well. Fortunatlly your have smarter leaders. We had reasonable ones but not ilike this person who cannot say one kind thing to anyone but himself day in and day out while people are dying around him. How this happened is behind my comprehension except no one was aware of the extent of what a sociopath can do or how he thinks. T
  2. Janelle and Heather, It is upsetting as there is a deficit at the top for making sense to those who need guidance instead of attack motives, using the pandemic as a political weapon. The governors, for the most part, are trying to keep us safe, especially in our state. I suspect this recent infection was purposeful, which is extremely upsetting just like our major forest fires. We have a deficit at the top which makes me feel like we have an "unfit" doctor who forgot to get his education to operate a country. Anyone who cannot understand is lacking in empathy
  3. newlease

    Steve is truly an inspiration to all stroke victims and such an aide in promoting healing globally. Thanks, you are truly loved.
  4. Heather, So sad that the area has been increasing due to lack of following the need to stay safe and take requested precautions. It happened today in the largest trauma hospital in the state and invected large wings of the hospital. It is a large country truama center and so many are infected and they do not know how the units were contaminated. It is either carelessness but the dangerous groups have been causing a lot of havoc in our country. This whole situation makes me feel, like I am sure many feel in my country and other stroke victims in other countries. St
  5. Thanks, Willis. I missed your😃 message.
  6. Perhaps a full spectrum bulb or a SAD light when you are reading for a half hour or so.. I have one in the office that was super cheap and has an ionizer connected to it. I daily just use the ionizer but the right is there when I feel light starved. My cats always knew where the full spectrum bulbs were and fought to sleep under that light when there were others in more comfy places. It was uncanny. Also we had a psychiatrist using offices when were were in staff meeting and he would always pick my office when he had used other offices, but then I had them put in my ceiling lights, he wo
  7. Oh, sorry for your quarantine from you Mum! It must be hard on both of you. It is bad sign for our times but locking into your past joys with each other might help get you through the. hard times. Know what you feel, being cooped up. Never liked to sleep much and fight it as a need so as not miss anything. Notice now I just love wallowing in bed to stretch and cozy up to the linens for soothing self, as if I am almost regressing into a need to be nurtured, if only from the linen. Notice if I do not have a purpose, I get worse, no matter what the season. I dread our
  8. Thanks. Missed the folks on here, too. Wish I could not take my self so seriously but will work on it. I do know that so many people are just beginning to think like a survivor and stroke victims have a stronger understanding than so many. Was doing a grief group with my dean of the school I was finishing who kindly agreed to do a lecture to the seniors at the center. She started out by saying she could see it in the faces of those in the audience who had experienced loss as she looked around the room. So it does not matter since the disguise merely protects me when I need it to but oth
  9. Becky, That was so kind. Will keep you in mind when my fingers are racing and the mind spins out. It is like music. Played a piano since I was four years old, got a masters couseling and also in piano and music therapy. Used both endeavors for 28 years to help people. When I had the stroke I was not able to play well, as readily. The counseling was not gone but the music was. My recent speed made me decide to try again to try to play all the music that sits on my piano reminding me of the loss. I think it is interesting how life is always evolving. T
  10. Deigh, BTW, love the pix. You look like a real musician!! Need to play the part in your performances.
  11. I miss being a senior member as I once was. Feel demoted but then it is only fair due to my inability to do the new technology.. haha
  12. Will, I liked your posts and learned a lot about you and that is why I could tell you about the gal in Florida. I get a lot of everyones posts especially when my eyes are not tired.
  13. Heather, I will look into the blogging. Have to get on with my taxes which push me into yet another stroke. Life in American is like having a stroke all over again. This is probably why I need to avoid all forums as my mouth is not silent with truths as I sincerely think this is what adds to repression that cause the lurching into the nervous system overtired thus causing the fear to jeopardize the brain transmitters. My eyes when I read what I write wear me out and this is bad for a forum unless I can get to slow down my pacing. Miss all of you most profusely. Lookin forward to hear what
  14. Deigh, I do the same thing but seem to forget it when I am writing. That is why my own entries bore me to death. I edit them but that takes even longer. I do think this has a lot to do with the stroke of long ago as I actually feel spastic when I try to slow down. It was actually what they told me when the paralysis was waking up that the faster I walked would be a problem in recovery. Even though that made sense it seemed to make it more difficult to walk, so I know the motor neurons were really confused in the repair work they were being forced to do with my speed and also not secure a
  15. Guess I was right about long posts as Will explained as well. Hope all goes well for you and all on here. Take good care as I shall spare you all as well. Have to empty the brain in other ways to clear way for healing this overwhelmed neurological system anyway.
  16. What is "going dark" mean? You mean not going on line or turning off the lights? Ha. I find I need to click my fingers to slow down and sing sometimes when I need to pace myself slower so I do not fall. The slightest rock out of place can throw me off and install a fear based response. This was mainly because after the first four months, If I did not say this initially, I was not longer paralyzed and ran down the stairs and the foot hit the step wrong and literally faced backward breaking the tibia and fibula needing surgery. I then had to learn to now walk with crutches for a few weeks u
  17. Had my stroke 2002 and was paralyzed for months but finally was able to get out of rehab but was told I would need the full year to regain full use. Got cocky as was back at work and bounced down a stair case and really damaged the same left side affected and had to have surgery to put the major left leg bones back together as the foot was literally facing backwards. Once I was off crutches for the next two months, this was all the PT could work with but even though the leg got strong again, the stroke was in the motor planning center which left a huge deficit in my planing for movements in
  18. Heather, you stated in a response that you had been ill?  


    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. HostTracy


      Wow Heather I am so glad you are now home and on the recovery. I bet that was a big scare for everyone. I hope all goes well with your recovery and if you have the gall bladder removed. Keep us updated when you can.

    3. heathber


      Thanks Tracy. I'm doing well now other than needing way too many naps. I had my post hospital GP checkup this morning and fell asleep in the waiting room :)

    4. newlease




      I asked this question months ago.  A link came into my email just tonight.  I had tried to find an answer to the question of your health when I first wrote the question, but to no avail.  That sounds like a huge event and I am sorry, I am just now getting the response.  Glad you are recovering and hope all is well now.  You are such a remarkable speciman of a woman, it is hard to see you down for the count, as I am sure it was also for you at the time.  Glad to finally find out after all this time. 

      I am unclear how the messages come in so sporadically, but I have not been able to stay in contact with all you wonderful folks.  Am not even sure where this wil go on the forum nowadays, but was good to hear from the forum once again.

      Pondering moving once I can assure better mobility and close my practice in the near future, but life keeps directing me in avenues that seem to be driven by some unforseen force.  Fortunately it is for the better as I walk through where my work seems to take me.

      Deigh touches base periodically so I try to stay in contact with him and I checked in periodically to see what is new but could not find the links anymore to question I presented or was trying to follow.  I even noticed my numbers of narratives drop every time I go on line, so I know somehow I must have disconnected somehow to have lost my narratives or even my questions over the years.

      The only time I go on forum nowadays is if I get an email, but I think it is slow going for some unknown reason.  We get hacked regularly, so I only respond to an email as it takes me to a site in the forum.  that is how I found you had been ailing and then see now you did responde to my question.

      Not sure when or if you get this thread.  As you know our whole country has been taken over by a source beyond anyone's understanding.  We can write our representatives who are most responsive but so far to no avail.  All I do now it help the fears that walk into my office and love the folks at live who are full of commonsense and forward thinking.  

      I think of all the marvelous folks on the forum and the change in format just fell in a less than timelly manner for my own sanity.  When ones world is in chaos, like with an illness you endured or a stroke, sameness is helpful to ones sanity.  The forum lost that in the transition for me, but maybe more regularity might resurface again. 



  19. newlease

    Strokes do not have to take away our generosity of spirit!! My wish for you is buckets of purple chips and cards to match so even those in need of them, you are able to accommodate. You deserve the kindness of gifts others give you. it helps them to be kind. You are a good example of generosity. I wish you countless hours of laughter among friends. That must have felt great.
  20. newlease

    Those memories are hard at times but they are so much part of your past life joy and worth the attention for your healing at the same time. That joy keeps you being this great writer of your feelings. Your inspire me to keep trying. Missing my family more than I can say but i helps to hear your forward movements. I need to live vicariously through others when all loved ones are gone. Hope remains eternal!
  21. newlease

    Yeah, an excuse not to go shopping so you can stay home to watch football games!! How clever you are. So glad you can enjoy you football games and sorry you cannot have a poker game to recoup your past losses. Wish your wife good news with her condition and speedy recovery. Prayers are always with all the kind and wonderful folks on this forum. Enjoy your games and relaxation before the packages pile in from the shoppers. It is your job to praise their shopping scores while you share your football scores. Enjoy your holidays!!
  22. newlease

  23. newlease

    Hope you had a great trip and many marvels. Keep us informed of your escapades and that you are still of good health and no more fainting spells.
  24. newlease

    So sorry, Tracey, Hope all goes well and they finally get you back on track to health.