jslivon

I definitely know what you mean about depression and I certainly have my moments. I think not being able to drive, just getting up and taking my little guy somewhere is really taking a toll. I'm constantly depending on everyone else to drive me to all my appointments, stores, etc and going from being completely independent to this isn't fairing too well. A person can only sit around limited before you begin going stir crazy.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, wisdom, advice and some of your stories, It is greatly appreciated, it's taken a lot to find the will to begin opening up about all of this. I've mainly kept it bottled up but every so often I'll vent and break down to my wife. I'm thankful to have an awesome support system. My mom and sister take turns spending time or watching over me seeing as though my wife is a full time nursing student along with working full time. Fred, you were pretty close, it's Josh and thank you for sharing some of your story with me and I wish you the best. I don't know if/when I would even return to my job. I was still out recovering from leg surgery so this has definitely thrown a curve ball into the mix. From their view, if your not fit to be around inmates then your not fit for duty. With that being said, I'm just enjoying my time at home with friends and family, focusing on recovering and getting to see our little man grow up every day. I'm just praying for answers, I don't want this to be a mystery because I'm afraid that I would spend my life walking on eggshells, wondering if it will strike again. I mean I'm up for any procedure, surgery or anything that will allow me to put this behind me. Well again, thank you all so much and I'm grateful I came here and am excited to continue this journey with all of you.

So I'm completely new to this so I'm hoping I'm doing this correctly. Anyways, I'm a 28 year old, thought to be healthy male, who's New Year has been far from happy. Two hours after the clock struck midnight on New Year's, I would find myself in the emergency room with what they thought was a 'stomach virus'. By the way I had not a drop of alcohol in my system. All I remember was I became extremely nauseous, made it to the bathroom which at that time my head became tingly, hot and I completely blacked/passed out smashing my head on the wall. My wife heard this and called 911. Hours later I was released from the hospital with no scan of my head and was told to drink lots of fluids but by that time had felt fine. Possible TIA? We'll never know but little did I know what was in store for me. January 3rd, my wife, two year old son and I were heading to Port Canaveral Florida as we had been planning a cruise to get away for awhile as the past year was pretty rough. I'm a prison guard in Wisconsin and sustained a fairly severe leg injury requiring surgery back in September. Anyways, we decided to spend the night in Atlanta Georgia seeing as though we decided to drive and were exhausted. The next morning, I woke out of bed, began cleaning up so that we could continue our trip and about five minutes later I lost my balance, fell over and it just became crazy from there. I remember EMT's in the ambulance asking me why I couldn't move my left arm or leg, etc which scared me to death because I had no clue what was going on. Little did I know that I was completely paralyzed on the left side of my body due to a blood clot that had made it's way to the right side of my brain. TPA was given and I spent approximately 5 days in the hospital including a day in ICU. My sister flew into Georgia immediately to assist my wife with everything, mainly our 2 year old seeing as though we were 1,000 miles away from home and knew nothing or no one. I just laid in the hospital wondering how or why, absolutely no risk factors at all. Wondering where do I go from here, I still have a life to live. By the time I departed the hospital, I was able to walk out on my own, AMEN! My sensation, awareness, etc just seemed shot. This was all new to me, a huge blur...Although our cruise set sail without us, I wanted to make the best of things and my family being huge 'The Walking Dead' fans we made our way around the area seeing where they film, etc. Now, the trip home which consisted of my mind nonstop racing. Was back home in 2 days which is where the never ending appointments began and continue. I'll fast forward a month just so I can make this quicker. I've seen a hematologist, everything seems fine there, a cardiologist who has since implanted a loop recorder in my chest to monitor every beat my heart makes. I've also had an electrophysiology study conducted that came back normal. Next week I have a TEE scheduled to see if there could be a hole in my heart. I meet again with the neurologist next week who has since stripped me of my driving privileages which is driving me even more crazy than I'm already going. Here's the kicker, I've had another stroke since January 4th and before February 1st when they redid an MRI/MRA and found a new area of brain damage referring to it as a silent stroke. After they found the new damage, immediately put me on Warfarin. Now, it's just a waiting game and the mental aspect of it is killing me more than the physical. They have no answers and I'm scared of what could happen in the mean time. I constantly have headaches which I've never had before, my memory and word usage seems like it's constantly on the decline and I'm just going crazy sitting at home wondering and waiting. Thankfully I have my 2 year old to keep me on my toes, even though that's a challenge in itself at times. I'm just looking for advice, similar situations, anything really...Thanks!