Pearls

Benefits of Stroke --OMG I used to be spitting mad whenever someone used this phrase. It hit a nerve like no other. It's been three years since my stroke and I've learned a few things about myself.  Several months ago I went ziplining. I have trouble walking across a room. If I go somewhere that requires more than going across a room I need a wheelchair.  I was in a rut. I needed a challenge. I have always been afraid of heights and speed. I do not go on carnival rides. Well the bigger the rut, the bigger the challenge. Walking thru the forest to the jump off tree was the most difficult part. Getting hoisted up into the tree on a pulley I had a quiet panic attack. By the time I got up to the jump off platform I had trouble breathing but I kept moving forward. Flying thru the tree tops at 35 MPH turned out to be fun. In fact, I did it three times. It has turned out to be the biggest confidence booster I could have chosen.  If I had not had a stroke and become paralyzed I would not in a million years have chosen to go ziplining in my old life. In my old life I was living in my comfort zone. I was not pushing myself to do extraordinary things. The next thing I learned was that I was living in a confined space in my old life. I have always been a creative person and that is truly where my passion lived. Being able to use only one hand and not very well at that I struggled to find creative outlets for myself. Most creative endeavors require the use of hands. The right side of my brain was damaged during my stroke and they say that is your creative side. Whether or not that is true doesn't really matter. I no longer had the dexterity I once had and it seemed that other parts of the creativity were starting to fade. What an incredible loss of identity to follow after loss of body, loss of job and loss of dreams. Somehow I got elected to be head of my HOA. Probably because no one else wanted to do it. I really didn't want to do it but I'm the kind of person that will step up and do things if no one else will. The HOA became involved in some legal issues and the next thing I knew I was doing legal research............and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it with a new found passion! Now I am studying to take the LSAT ( the entrance exam for Law School). I don't know if I'll ever go to law school. I'm 66 but who knows. I am loving every minute of studying except I am having trouble holding the pages open in the book and I have to print instead of writing in script. AGAIN I would not have discovered this part of myself if it weren't for my stroke. Am I glad I had a stroke? He** No.   I've become an avid problem solver. I am continually thinking about how to do things differently to make them work. If I can't butter a slice of bread, how can I approach it differently? But it is spilling over into every part of my life, even my relationships. Is that my creative side or is that my analytical side? Some days my mind is full and other days the fatigue hits me. I have to plan ahead for the fatigue and it is a real downer but I am better at adjusting than I used to be. Three years ago the fatigue was always there. Soooo much I have learned about myself, about others, about the brain, about life. This is certainly a different life than I would have chosen but ha-ha, there are some benefits, some new discoveries.