Stroke Survivor - female
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About SassyBetsy

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    Chief Mentor
  • Birthday 10/10/1963

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
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  1. I tried a SNRI similar to a SSRI based on promises but I was weaned off as soon as it proved ineffecive because no need to continue with something not helping. But it made me mellow and not complaining about pain! But pain was same. I had another RFA and it took eedge off enabling me to walk more and makes meds work longer. I think you found a doc with some experience and bedside manner!! Congrats!! Keep hope and searching. I too have non stop pain in my leg various kinds of pain.I keep log now after third RFA I found great relief constantly now but will this too wear off? But there are things to try and find what is right for you so I am glad you have found voice and a wee bit of trust
  2. you look beautiful and so wonderful this photo is a treasure
  3. love will find a way to express if you allow it be patient be natutal be yoursellf
  4. Tracy forgetting is not necessary, in the end it is all part of your story and you will you really trully actually will look back cherishing laughing your old life because the good parts the reason you married and even these difficult parts belong to you. Time heals you willl see
  5. A Follower

    I thought I made a new4rđws friend but I have a person who follows me around calls at dawn and acts ill when I visit with others. I first thought she was nice but I feel spied on and I feel smothered. I play 99cards wifth a 93 yr old and often share food with her. I was surprised she watched from afar while I played cards with this friend. She just moved in the room of my friend here.I stopped by because This friend stays in her room. she is glam but hides. She also speaks complaints to state and goes church so we have much to talk about. So we did. The lady turned into ill needing wet cloth on head. My friend said to me try talk to her she is jealous so I did my best to include her. But she said oh I sorry I have a panic #panic attack because the sun is too strong. So we closed curtain and we continued to talk but the woman continued to interupt needing nurse. I felt torn to help or talk. I was irritated and I also believed the woman was having a panic attack. I do not know why. I told my friend I loved her and that I needed to go polish another friend's nails. She loves my red and she rarely gets them done because she cannot holds still.ruins them. so I do it before she goes to bed. I do another woman too. But The next morning when I did not show up in dining room I got a call from her I ignored. I ignored it. I figure she is cared for and I slept. I miss being alone sometimes. This woman asked me to be her roommate at her apartment. I had talked to her twice. She said suffered from mental illness psychizoaffective. So I explained I have CPS and vestibular problems to avoid any more talk. I found out she had twin sons and met one. But she comes to my room and acts concerned so it feels nice to have a buddy but then she gets upset when I sit with my gentleman friend at bingo and did not save her a seat when we sat together 2 years. That made me upset to hear my gentleman did not get shower because not enough staff, he not told anyone, so you know me! the staff tells me they have a voice but they afraid to speak up, I am powerless but i can speak up truth here, they know I will so they tell me their problems am i here for this my tears for myself,now for them please let change come there is jealous woman giving staff money jewelry to get shower while a man goes without a shower bcuz no staff around, I cannot bear to see injustices worse when it is them not me,i cannot be silent as they tell me it is not my business they pick up my friend off floor but no drink for her thirst,I can buy a pepsi my collage is up for my picture, this is my latezt 1,I have 3 plus one in the works, one for daughter and first 1 that has more words,all different
  6. Thank you all for accepting me and allowing me "to Do Me" because I have counted on you all. BUT I do also count on becoming a better version of this Me so I will take Jay and Asha to heart and forgive and be positive when I encounter misundersrandings in my life. Truth be told I have always believed and taught my children that for every 1 Ahaolian there are 2 kind compassionate persons to run into. So I look out for them. I always find them. Interesting we find what we look for. But sometimes we are on the middle of it. OMG Linnie Thank You from bottom of my heart for telling me how I touched your life. It makes me glad to know others struggle with the same things I do. Now that does not sound nice! But I often feel so alone or that I do not belong. I often feel ashamed of how I feel. So I am not surprised when someone says stop being negative. No one likes the sad clown. But here I have found a safe haven to express. And it is making me a better person because of all of you. Tracy thank you for sharing your experience too. I agree I am positive in life after getting out the rage and that is what is important. And we have lots of emoicons on here to creatively express
  7. Thank you Sue I agree. I wonder why we feel guilt when we have expressed our personal truth? I am not feeling constant persecution. My pain the CPS is real and excruciating. Before this cocktail and spinal thing they could only give me a shot which put me out to relieve my pain. Those who saw me knew I was in real pain even if they did not understand why. I have to give voice to everything. Yes embarassing even shame to reveal but yes enough just enough. And maybe tough to witness and perhaps desire to silence but these are my truths at the time. A great professor said we must believe we are always in the right place and if we said it then it needed to be said. but omg now I lack a filter sometimes so I often debate this. but honestly if the shoe fits..... A place like this invites honesty enables freedom and gives chance to relate with those things polite society ignorant of all things stroke never talk about. I can be a freak here and be supported. Thank heavens for that.
  8. Thanks Jay but I did not write it for you. Again I bloghed about my day as it was. for myself. not looking for approval. In childrens play therapy we never use "nice". my point is some of those blogs you did not like well i consider them to be cleansing and successful at getting me needed support. they were nice. so it was that we accepted what a child created because to the child alone ownership belonged. This is not American Idol. vote somewhere else please. I think that star thing offends hurts is popularity??shall I mark all stars myself?? I will not worry if I get followed. I seek a deeper understanding here. a deeper acceptance. all of me in every color shade. I feel like a monster now. I am a resource for friends. I or my son donate share food or other stuff. I am followed around by a woman here who wants a roommate but I will not go live with a schizoaffective. Right now I am fighting to feel proud I speak my truth despite censoring. I am encouraging to others. But my blog is about me my life my worldview. I may be dark or light but I am still acceptablre. I may fai l you with negative but I am true to myself. Maybe ignore me.
  9. Tracy we now need helpers more than ever eh? You are strong. I admire you. You have dealt with overwhelming loss recently. Divorce can hurt enough to make one go mad. You are coping with so much and doing a great job. I am sure proud of you. I see a bright time ahead as you heal and grow and find fellow helpers to connect to But remember You Alone is Good Enough because You are loveable the way you are. I often feel damaged like my brain. the walking the crying the mind problems from drugs it makes me feel not important or special or loved. But there are people someones who love and rely on you still. Even on here I know I rely on you to understand because you have feelings often similar. Thank you. Sue you are hero visiting loving. you too Linnie. To become visible is great gift. I see it here. I live it.
  10. I was successful educated professional and they say no one can take that from you. wanna bet? We are valuable as human beings when we take the time to get to know eachother. There will be haters but usually jealousy is at work. Be true to integrity. A priest told me integrity is key to peaceful heart. We need to be proud of ourselves.
  11. Memorial Day

    We had veteran pinning ceremony. They forgot my friend in WWII. And a woman. I reminded them but then they said they would come to her room. But they gave a flag pin to my friend who said she was in 6 day war. And a Nigerian Refugee gave a speech. It was nice. They had muffins and I loved real coffee. We are not diverse here. Mostly white and Phillipino cna and nurses. We did a good job loving Veterans Day today. They put 3 beds in each room they could. But I am thankful I am in 2 bed room. my friends say they are crowded. I was in a 3 ned room until my friend wanted me as a roommate. She saved me. she passed. I am protected now. I prayer of thanks for her. You never know how your life touches another. I saved her she said. But she wanted me with her so I stayed here. Destiny.
  12. Thanks. I thought to share my fear that I must do this again. It is nice you understood this fear is there. I am thankful the procedure was a success and helps my meds work. I enjoy this relief by walking exercising and being with friends. I have a few that visit when I stay in my room recovering from day out to store. I love them. I play cards with them. Thank you.
  13. Thanks Linnie for the tip!
  14. Thank you for your support everyone. I apologize if my account disturbed anyone. The Slightest discomfort is not excruciating so do not worry. And I have positives but perhaps I fail to share them because I do not need support for those things. I do not think everyone is out to get me. This was an accurate account of events without embellishment. And this is my blog. I write it for myself first. Maybe some relate or Not. One Positive is I am not bullied and will always tell my story somewhere because no one should feel that there is only happily ever after happening around them except for them. This Toots survived this indeed. I needed that hug Pearls thank you.
  15. Of course you are wanting best care and now there is so much concern that things will be harder to get. Yes you must go where they understand stroke. Be your best advocate. We all do the same. It may be difficult but keep your eye on the prize.