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SassyBetsy

Stroke Survivor - female
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    1,345
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About SassyBetsy

  • Rank
    Chief Mentor
  • Birthday 10/10/1963

Contact Methods

  • Stroke Network Email
    Yes

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    05-20-2014
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Pam
  • State
    CA
  • Country
    United States

Recent Profile Visitors

5,122 profile views
  1. Sorry Steve my food blog got too long and should not be here!
  2. Sorry Tracy I got excited looking at fries right?
  3. ok now I gotta go out for fries!!! but I have always eaten mine with mustard. Even before there were chilie cheeses guacamole or pastrami tomato fries, I asked for packs of mustard. My kids like ranch dressing with fries best. And we all like BBQ on them. And steak fries great with sour cream and onion dip I made at home. Like a finger food baked potato. Criss cross fries and nacho sauce is good and I like those for making hor douvres topping with taco seasoned hamburger with tomatoes with sour cream salsa topping. But I used good old frozen bags of criss cross fries to make that. It was always good when I did not want to do typical chips. Now I keep fries out of my diet except for 1 or 2x a month because I am on lo salt low carb diet. I tend to want tortilla chips more often with mango salsa. That is my new sophisticated snacking crave and I can make a meal on them and yet because of my edema even that is restricted. This is even harder than restricting sugar...i can live without that very often. But Right now I am doing toasted bagel with cream cheese and pineapple on it. My kind of pizza. Or like today I will have american cheese melted on toasted bagel. I used to make that in an oven at home. little toaster oven. now we get toasted bagel and melting cheese in microwave. I like it chewier too. Good thing it is xBfast!!! coffee and cinnamon time. my latest thing is mixing sanka and cocoa in hot water. Great stuff!! Handy around here. I got my cnas talking about toppings now. some creative things.
  4. Tracy 🦄 That is your dad being the protector he is. I know you have had a hard time living there but maybe now you are a blessing to help your dad and also to make the most of time together. Change can occur fast so I am glad everyone was honest though. I will pray you have strength and peace while your dad goes through some of the darkest forrests known to man. None of you are alone.
  5. omg yeah Fred Gosh seems lots on break I miss old chat gang i cannot get on my phone
  6. yes I remember her name. Well the sneaky PM thing. Obviously knew the remarks were going to hurt her. That coward. Too bad she did not save it but as a first response it must have been rotten. It takes diligence to watch over a site because some people are guests and you never knew who the nutball is. God Bless Linnie
  7. You are the cool Aunt your sensitive soul soaks up negative energy even when it is no big deal to others. Homesick is a real entity even if you only have a quiet room. Our space is like there is no place like home. Click the heels beam me up. I feel the energy in my chest like a burn and I am overwhelmed with energy adrenaline like I could run or scream and I cannot get the physical feeling to stop. I cannot will it to end. And my vision rolls. It is doubled. I cannot walk well like that. I cannot think. Then it just goes to crying oh boy I hate that. People are like why cry about it. It takes music rest movies distracting me from stress. I dislike any conflict. No one can understand my processing problems. I fall asleep on overload. I need to sleep so much too. fatigue is just my day. eat sleep shower sleep . go out then come back and sleep. You are strong independent and kind.The stroke stuff is real. We just wait it out. Accept that this is all ok because we are sensitive
  8. I agree it can be discouraging. I was told I would fully recover in 12 months by a fool and I did not. My vestibular therapist cautioned me that stroke recovery is slow. Then a neurologist said optimism is healthy but the reality is some brain damage cannot be reversed. So I go to therapy as much as my pain allows. I cannot work on things like balance when it hurts to stand. But I continue. LOL I am not one to do my homework unless I am held accountable...so I need to go. Plus I like to chat. The entire thing of my getting out helps me. Yes sometimes I need a break. That is ok. Then I go again. If it gets boring I complain. Usually I over do it. My leg hurts double from even small amount of exercise except after the spinal. So that frustrates us all. But I persevere. I bought new tanks and camis to wear too. I love the excuse to clean up go out or I get lazy and down. I need someone helping caring too. Some days I feel that downward let me sleep and cry and other days I am thankful I am alive eating a lemon bar. I am like a bipolar yoyo. This is hard. This is grief and pain and hope. I want my support group too. I missed it this month because of dentist. I need to talk to others in my shoes. You make me keep going. I say to both of us keep on going. Together we encourage and inspire complaining demanding venting. I do not want to miss out on life that is left. Yep this is really hard. And binge watching is NOt a wasted life lol just thinking how i worked and did kid stuff and never watched tv or movies and my son begged me to watch lord of rings after we saw first one. I now have time for movies. life is slower. But I am thankful for sight too. And enjoying life. I watch movies on my tiny phone with one eye and ear buds. It is like I am in that screen too.
  9. Always ask your neurologist. I am told mine is brain damage that I may get back over time and therapy or I may always live with. That answer told me to have hope but not overestimate what time and therapy can do. Now for me I went from constant dizzy just sitting there to now occasional or situational like patterns on floors walls. I can ride in a car and look out a window when before I closed my eyes and felt motion sick. So now I still have problems that will continue I believe meds and continued therapy helps. I have a vestibular therapist. I also have visual therapy. Anyway I think I am compensating more too. Yes it is too bad it continues. So see what I put up with when I walk too. no one knows the dizziness or the balance problems when they do not know me well. later they forget.
  10. I lost all balance. I could not sit up in bed. But slowly with therapy I went from months in a wheel chair to walkers and I can do cane but my vestibular probs still mean I do not do a cane alone. But I want to run again of course. Yes you are forunate. but that is the thing. some things for some and not others. You are a miracle. And glad you are doin well. Meeee tooo Tracy.
  11. ok I'm jealous now! Well you work hard so enjoy the best in life that makes you happy. I am glad things are looking bright. You are inspiration.
  12. oh yes earbuds rule!!!! yep jealous. anyway my advice is of course milk it. you actually need more than anyone can give. I know from experience. so for wife maybe giving her more literature about stroke stuff may help her know why and it can help you feel O told you So...but do not say so lol
  13. oh I probably need to say I go to a vestibular physical therapist and take meclizine for dizziness. zophran for nausea. I could not drive in a car before. now it is better. but not gone. prob never will heal. i use a patch on 1 eye sometimes and prisms in my glasses for my visual stuff. a tablet or phone is better than desk or laptop. closer is easier. I color with nose in book. so never give up. search for hope.
  14. I had brain stem deep middle brain stroke so they told me. I just had another MRI to take a look at my brain. Anyway I read your post and it could be ready my diary a bit. I was told I had vestibular problems which explained what was going on for me. And stroke is a grab bag of stuff and highly personalized. we are similar but not same. I am glad you have good family support. I think it is normal to lash out at those closest to us even though we regret ...first who else is around who will forgive and love unconditionally and try with everything to understand. That is what hurt me so much. I had no filter. now a tad better. But I was honest to a fault. I shared every thought. I was selfish. It was all about me. Well it had to be then because I was lost and looking just surviving after surviving. I had to protect them from me can I even imagine. Was it personality change or was it some awful coping going on that would end. Did anyone know. I was impatient rude just said my mind. I am still aware I need to be silent sometimes. I have to take time just stop. say nothing. I was comforted reading others had this too. I relaxed. I was still a nice good person. That was important. I knew I was still the Me I knew and wanted to be. only my behavior was Mrs Hyde sometimes. The problem still haunts me. When I get upset I lose my cool. I am feeling over stimulated and well my brain is damaged in that area so I had to heal and relearn basic social skills. No one worries to tell you what is in store. I was not warned. So I felt abnormal. Bad. But it is the brain. Not "me" so I had to and have to learn what to do when....and recognize triggers... and people....some are jealous thinking I have benefits...one said I do not need to worry about retirement now. As if I had a stroke as a retirement plan. No to mention I retired 20 years too soon. Ok seriously I could fill a note book with lists of insensitive "bossholian" thing people everyone friends family strangers professionals doctors caregivers religious. what is wrong with them? but they have no filter. it hurts surprises stuns belittles isolates enrages me. Then I realize .people. are not me. They do things say things and are things I can never believe. wow. When I worked I never was this vulnerable. I was not this marginalized. So I may be sensitive but these are real insults harmful wounding events. I need to protect myself. no other explanations. I find ignoring them is best best best because a fool that would think and say that cannot be reasoned with plus lacks empathy and judgment. I escape get away put time and distance there. They are not worth my trouble or inconvenience. I had to learn to physically cover my mouth when I run into someone looking for the last word or their explanations their way. I stop listening just look away detach. Then move on as if they do not exist. We have soft spots no one gets. And what seems irrational may be meaning full to another survivor. It helps me to post here for support. I go to a support group at my hospital. But here at 2am I can vent. And sometimes reading about others and sharing helps mee too. So no shame or shoulds here. In fact thank you for sharing.
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