SassyBetsy

The staff here have left dropped like flies since new owners bought this facility. The remodel is stark white and florescent white lighting. Like a 1950 hospital or asylum sanitorium. UGLY

staff canceled for work unhappy short.

I cried when some left.

I sobbed in one woman's arms. She was BF. Many went to other jobs and part time here so see sometimes. Others threatening to go. SO SAD

I FEEL ALONE.

Yes it is me Queen!!

Yes I have survived cardiac problems now. AS IF STROKE WASN'T ENOUGH LOL!

but I don't have the heart to start in a new support group.

I have missed u all so but I was not keen on using mobile...now I am. I hope I can meet up with friends again!

IM BACK

Yes we do indeed have to be content with t he blessings we have.

Thanks for the welcome back. When I got lonely I knew where to come running home. 

It was a shock to hear about Steve. God bless him for this website.

Hello old friends!

I recently had to reset my password because I forgot and on new device so I was redirected to do that fine.

 I would wonder if  they are making their log ins correctly??

My name is SassyBetsy because I love Betsy Johnson fashion designs except creepy skulls,especially my obsession with purses. I was on this message board ,chats blogs constantly and it saved my life. I have been away. I do not know why.part oof the reason is my phone is what I use instead of my tablet..because the charging cords are different. I started gaming. I had stents put in my heart many times...I ha b e 12 now. They said I would not survive a bypass. I had edema probs,kidney probs,and right now I am fighting to relearn to walk again even tho my pain meds are reduced by half and the CPSin my right leg is daily average 8 on the pain scale. I have made friends with pain. I fought to have therapy three times per week, but  I get out of bed daily, stand, walk a bit. I want to walk again.

I had covid that sent me to the hospital then the following year despite vaccination I got omnicron Covid and back to the hospital. I got the humaneumovirus after that.  The worse thing about it is my CPS in the hospital because staff does not understand it and the pain clinic does not come over unless the doctor invites a consult. 

Next May 2024 is my 10 year anniversary. I lie awake wondering if I will make it.

I still live in a SNF. 

Here comes the hard part to write.

I have not seen my daughter who is 29 for 5 years. No fight. She had dropped out of my life for 3 years before that. She had to move because of love,kept in touch, but what do the kids say now GHOSTED me. I am never on social media. My son is my heart.  We text daily. Sometimes I say I need to hear your voice or see your face. So he calls! He does not have a relationship with his sister. I AM IN THE DARK. 

I cry for her but never tell my son. I did once and he said she was doing fine on social media and that was better. I know she took gifts I sent and led me to believe I was a good mother and but she is angry I have a relationship with my son. She blames me for why he won't talk to her. He won't talk about it.

I have not visited with h I'm in the car since I have oxygen. He won't drive with a tank. I have been trying to get a portable one.

Alot of staff here are like my family. But I cry for my babies. I miss my mom.

I suffer from vision changes.

I bought new glasses got them in June but in July my prescription changed Alot so I kept my new frames but changing lenses. I can't see out of these old ones. They]bounce a bit,light sensitive. People think I whine when I asked them to take a bulb out of our bathroom. It blinding. They painted white around,put up florescent lights all over

Well thank you for listening.

I will take some to meet some of you and say hello to old friends.

Bald faced lie

Oops wrong word....

>⁸

School psychology

Omg back to the word NETWORK......

Television Network

Love Maker

Welcome! LUCKY!! Sounds like you worked hard and willed your recovery too!We are blessed as it happens o r not. Happy you are doing amazing things!

Grief is natural after a stroke. It is the biggest loss ever...no matter what degree of change or damage....add the fact that the brain is supercharged for pain or emotional control and face it what is more irritation and frustration than dealing with the medical community...from Dr offices to insurance. I remember my first appointment after hospital. My kids looked in shocked disbelief as I sobbed at the front desk because I was there at wrong time. I mean I sobbed like my cat ran away. Totally disproportionate. I Never cried in public!! AND FOR THAT? I would have gone for lunch. I would have b e been flexible and reason able. I felt my mind and soul were foreign as my body.

I took something for depression that also worked on nerve pain. It didn't work for me. I felt weirder and still hurt physically. It was trial by fire to be sure. I agree time helped  but on occasion when I am ill or tired. Was it menopausal?? All emotions were heightened. Honestly I still am raw sometimes.++

I say hey just deal with me. This is me. If they are not compassionate then I say it is on them. ?

Pocket knife

I have balance and bouncing eye issues and due to location so all posts here I relate to. Therapy kept me strong and accountable. 

Different therapists have different tricks. One printed exercises and I made album so I could later do them. But now I on oxygen so my PT said I needed the cardiologist to  authorize to do  anything.

But I hope you see someone who specialized in vestibular therapy like mine because I had the Canolith repositioning procedure when I first had a stroke and I believe it helped. I am going to have the procedure again soon because recently I have been having trouble from frequent sinus and ear infections.

I am a hot mess. I stand and I feel weird off like I just got off an E ticket ride. I must wait for my eyes to adjust. My prob is BPPV plus residual from brain trauma from the ichemic stroke. But the mere fact I can stand fools others into thinking I am normal. For me I also take medication for motion sickness which describes how I feel when I am still or move or go in a moving vehicle like the chair..to complicate this is that the tiny crystals move again and again so no one can tell the reason for my dizziness and unsteadiness with nausea that chimes in. Then my blood pressure drops when I stand so add that in. Closing my eyes does not help. I try and fixate on something I know woul never move and hold onto anything except a person because I wobble feeling their every wiggle. Now I have involuntary Jerks which are earthquakes in my world. And this symphony of disfunction is exhausting. I need more sleep just being awake. When I am in my familiar spaces I am better than not familiar. Indoors better than outdoors. 

Have you ever been siting in a car when the car next to you backs out and for a second you feel as if YOU are the moving object instead? I experience this alot. And for me I must be touching something ALWAYS.  You will never see me doing a Julie Andrew's Sound of Music thing in my bathroom much less on top of a Mountain. I never outstretched my arms and stand alone. One hand needs to trail..along a wall or 2 fingers on my dresser. Or my walker.  Once my son let go of me in a store just for a second and I immediately leaned to the left but I knew Dizzy and OFF buttoned not fix it. Walking to my bathroom is like maneuvering through a fun house already but in the forest I feel like I an Unteathered in Outer Space. This floating sensation like tumbling in slow motion. I hit the floor before I realize I was listing left. My leg buckles unexpected sometimes. 

MY RIGHT LEG. PT explained for a split second my brain looses my right leg. And then it does this thing like someone pushed in my knee from the back. It is frightening because it is unpredictable. BUT THE PAIN IS NEVER INTERRUPTED. BUTsometimes it changes shape. Imagine my pain entity over my head. What feeds it? It changes colors and shapes and then textures or flavors. All I want is for someone to ask me about all those variations and not just the intensity numbers.because I can cope with burning when it is intense but not pins and needles added and this swirls in a tornado in my mind which cannot organize my speech. Did I once teach? I can barely order lunch but I can make a Dr. Appointment so go figure. Frustrating people think they can touch my leg still after all the time I am here. It burns. I feel like I stand in pain and dizziness and others tell me to hurry up they gotta go..but I am on me time in my world now. If I look to Outer edges I feel in a kaleidoscope even with new glasses. 

The fun continues! Now I have to zip in my leg that cannot be touched..into an air bag that squeezes my feet and calves up to knees because the pressure sore on my heel that reoccur and fails to heal needs less swelling to go away...

SUPRISINGLY it doesn't hurt like touching. No burning‐‐--but I have terrible pain. I wrote a bunch of blogs lost to me but my story is there. Anyway it never STOPS.  

I had covid and survived. Covid was bad but imagine daily torture. I cannot do anything but wait until I can be off blood thinner even if I wanted a surgery. I had major heart attack that I was told I needed a bypass butI was not healthy enough to survive it. So I had 7 stents inserted. Then had second heart attack this Feb and they put in another Stent. They scoped my legs and artery is clogging but no Stent yet. I am on oxygen now all day. I fight with my friend who says never start it. I said I have had pulmonary hypertension before covid lung stuff.now I am not asthmatic but I sound and feel like one.

I keep fighting. 

On 1/13/2021 at 8:27 AM, smallory said:

I have an ITB Pump permanently implanted in my side. 

 

 

No questions?  Oh well, your loss! 

I would like to know THE WHOLE SCOOP! I hate keeping on track of all the pills I take. I still cannot get electrode surgery so this too prob not in my grasp but knowledge is power.save it for later. I wonder if I could have a diabetic pump that also administers opioids.

I did 2 week trial using electrodes on spine to reduce pain. I want that surgery. Cannot do now. Best two weeks ever.

On 1/13/2021 at 8:27 AM, smallory said:

I have an ITB Pump permanently implanted in my side. 

 

 

No questions?  Oh well, your loss! 

I would like to know THE WHOLE SCOOP! I hate keeping on track of all the pills I take. I still cannot get electrode surgery so this too prob not in my grasp but knowledge is power.save it for later. I wonder if I could have a diabetic pump that also administers opioids.

I did 2 week trial using electrodes on spine to reduce pain. I want that surgery. Cannot do now. Best two weeks ever.

AFTER using it for couple of years just sleeping....someone asked me why did I take meds hoping when I needed to go get my answers......Now I take Lyrica...Lol same type of ok edge is off but can someone do something else. 

Sorry but could something else be needed to stop the blisters? I wonder if if it was going to help it would have by the time YOU ARE ASKING ARE WE THERE YET?

BUT THATS ME ...IMPATIET WITH PAIN.

with all else.not gonna suffer because of My Own Body.

I use my phone but cannot reply to stuff or do a blog. Is it only for tablets?

I posted my journey. I use pills. Must have for me. I tried an electrode but did not get permanent surgery.

I live a full life. For me.

You are so right!!!!

I needed that pep talk to remember that thinking is ok.accept all of me.

It was not my stuff I picked. I accepted it with gratitude and graciousness.

I assured her that giving us residents supplies of our own is life changing. We have an activity now.independent but yet we share looking at eachothers work or sitting together coloring. this is adult art. I color someone elses drawing....like an illustrator team thing lol.      I am a color specialist lol.

yes my hobby is all i can do to be productive.

maybe their budget does not allow for what she said picknit out......I saw she genuinely wants me happy. I azsured her she brings good to us. she does make a difference. In fact she has not told us to share and in fact gave me another set. and more books. it is amazing we got all this .That I received some.

I suppose the child in me is selfish stubborn.

Anyway I get something so I am blessed.

we sure do!!!

Before stroke I was right side up in this bottle. But now it has breen tossed into the sea.

The social worker here has a standard reply

.....sorry that is NOT in my department.

THEN she comes in quarterly to ask how are things going......

suddenly i tell her something....

and yes she spits out the reply.

oh and activity woman was there....said books came in....

hooray...but will it be the one i requested or another one? am i rude for resenting the gift?I am disappointed in false promises.

oh when I ask for help they say,oh you make your appts so you handle it.

it is exhausting.

😅

I used to speak in public, sometimes not easy, sometimes very easy. Now I do not talk fine,I am slow on my feet. I lost my train of thought mid sentence,or I retell a story in 5 minutes.

I hate it when people try and rush me by guessing what I might be saying. I have said Do you want to try and guess again? or I have honestly been so distracted that I said oh boy, now that confused me so I need to start over. It annoys me that they do not listen properly.

I get shy to speak in group now,afraid I cannot say what i mean. for the doc, o make a list of things. 

I interupt people.. I try wait,then jump in ,it cut someone off. oh well I jumpeç.

better this way.

 But I find it challenging to not stand up for myself and often I am insistent?

Do I sound rude ??? I need to tell them. End of story.

How else can I be in real world.