scottm

Only suggestion I have is to yell out I LIKE MUSTARD randomly during the exam. LOL

Mitch, You can insert photos in your post by uploading them to a webserver, etc then click on the picture icon on the top toolbar and put the URL into the space provided. See my 'mission completed' thread to see how it presents.

Congratulations Asha!

Jay, 4 out of 6 isn't bad. 66% success rate!

Congrats Jay! Isn't it interesting that we take joy in the little things others take for granted. That is what I refer as one of the Easter eggs left behind for us.Keep on doing and reporting in, hearing what someone else did can be the motivation some of us need to take that next step.

Two Thumbs Up for your granddaughter. She'll have you whipped into shape on no time.

It took about 3.5 hours but we have a new kitchen faucet, one of those hose pullout jobs to replace the old, basic faucet which gave its all since the kids were, well, kids. We had bought this tool for doing the work of one of those sink wrenches. It worked well as it is large enough for me to grasp and exhibit some control over while turning it. Even my weak side could turn the fittings using that to both remove the old faucet and put in the new one. Trying to fit two arms into the cabinet when you have spasticity in the arm is a challenge which sometimes took several tries to get all the body parts in the right location. Finding you have to try again because you have no idea how your arm ended up *over there* is no longer a frustration event, I'm over that at this point. Just a sigh and start again. Had to call the wife to help a few times, mostly hold things in place while I started the threads. At one point I did consider calling to her as I stuck on my back in the cabinet and couldn't get out. But I still have some dignity left and while it took several minutes, I did finally get out and upright again. I expect I'll sleep well tonight.

Jay, I've gotten very good at deleting things to try to bury my screw-ups. Like when I type the same sentence several times or when my spastic finger sits on a key for a while, looks like a blank page until you realize you've been sitting on the return key for several seconds...

My wife is like that, she wants to do everything for me but she knows I have to at least try to keep improving. So, I continue to try and she watches from the background only stopping me if it could go bad. The only thing she can't help with is my clumsy use of silverware, but she also takes me out to dinner periodically to help with my being so self conscious. The only thing deemed off limits to me are the good kitchen knives, I'd just bleed way too much because of the blood thinners. I also run a high tech company which isn't always easy with a brain injury but I have a good staff. I did have to correct the attitude and behavior of a couple 'kids' who thought I no longer had my intellect... It sounds like you are going to do well on the back end of this journey, the support of family can be a powerful motivator.

Doing better today Jay?

Asha, Your post made me recall that we had this very fancy chalet bird feeder my dad had made, my mother loved it and when I was young she and I would sit there and try to name the birds, sometimes we had to get the book out. Thanks for triggering that warm memory.

it is 0100 and I still awake, wife and cats are all sleeping, I have a cup of sleepytime tea I'm sipping on, it usually works but I need to be careful as it interacts with my coumadin and acts as multiplier. My coumadin dose takes account of that cup of tea every night. So today worked out well. Helped a friend spec out a new computer for gaming. Went to the local library and booked a room for Aug 1. My wife and I teach the state safe boater class. That class is essentially a 7 hour lecture/Q&A session. It was tough in my prior life, brutal now and mix in my aphasia, it gets awkward. We are working with other squadron members to get them to assist. Updated our squadron web page with the new class schedule and other loose ends. <sips tea> Updated the webpage for the national squadron organization. A friend stopped by to visit. She and her husband have hung in with us since day one of this grand adventure. She'd a psychiatrist and understands the situation fairly well, but admits she still learns things about strokes from me. She was unaware of post stroke central pain, we discussed that a bit again today. In particular she was curious about the way I was dressed, not many people wear sweats in Florida during the summer. We discussed how the flow of cool air from AC was painful but I barely feel the heat, hence the sweats, otherwise my right side is sort of a fire-ice burn. Of course you need to be cautious when you don't feel heat, it is still there. <sips tea> So that was my day at camp CVA. It's 0215, I think I'll go try reading a little. I'm still working to learn how to read again, my eyes don't focus very well and tend to jerk around without me realizing it. Suddenly I'm completely confused and have to go back and read the sentence again. But slowly I'm getting there, a few months ago I couldn't understand what I read at all, it was all gibberish. To a life long reader that was a major loss. I'll never read a whole novel in 1 day again but that's not a bad thing, books are expensive. I was gifted with another day that I survived, what more could I ask for?

Every day is different, indeed often we change by the hour. Relax with some good music...for some reason Dark Side of the Moon comes to mind and know tomorrow will be different than today. We're all in this together brother.

Never thought of that, that is cool and his sketches rock!

They don't understand the fuzzy thinking sometimes, fatigue both physical and mental and all the other baggage we have now. I perform pretty well but still have deficits to deal with. Sometimes my wife thinks I'm better than I am because I try not to upset her, but she sees...she knows I'm improving and she is a motivator for that...woe unto the person who would say 'he should be better by now' in her earshot. Usually I just smile at them when they say such, in my, it must be nice to have such a simple perspective way. Did have a coworker get upset because I took a while to speak and proceeded to tell everyone in the room what I meant to say. I leaned forward and in my nicest voice told him I sincerely hoped he never suffered aphasia and had people thinking him a simpleton, now let me explain what broke your network. We had a stroke and survived it, lot of people can't say that...and it never goes away completely, my neuro and other docs have made it clear this was life altering and I have to adapt on many levels. The normals or norms as I call them will never understand hopefully. I sometimes wonder which of them would really be able to handle our new existence.

LOL

Sunday we went faucet shopping at Home Depot, the visual and audio stimulation was significant then a stop at Harbor freight, more of the same. I was a little fatigued yesterday but went into the office to check on things and was very fatigued when I got home 6 hours later. This morning my wife had to get me up as I overslept by a couple hours. Getting out of bed was a chore, just want to sleep. She worries about me and when I get this fatigued she gets concerned. I think in part she sees me like I am today and remembers the dark days which are still fairly fresh in our memories. Today will be a day spent working on the computer and letting the cats instruct me in how to nap properly, they are very proficient at it. I usually wake up with the tom stretched out on my pillow above my head. He's on dream patrol according to my wife. Good days, bad days...we make the best we can of which ever we have to work with. When I do the faucet install, I'll share that adventure, it should be instructive on how to work around and hopefully overcome my deficits. I can always call a plumber if it is more than I can handle.

Well said, I have to agree that every day we have now is a gift to share with others where we can.

Ethyl, Indeed, my wife and kids have told me how scared she was that I would say 'who are you' when I finally woke up but fortunately I did not lose that. The docs tell me that some things are better when they are lost. Not sure I agree but I can see their point. The worst of the physical pain is at the tail end of that block of time.

I'm left to wonder where my memory went? Short term memory we all have issues with, but long term should be relatively intact. At least that was what they told me in rehab. The really creepy thing is you don't even know your memory is gone because that whole time period was wiped clean, no clues exist , just an empty canvas you don't know about either.. It has gone to wherever socks go when they disappear in the dryer. But gradually you form memories but they aren't yours. The person who remembers your presentation on search engine optimization...Another who remembers your costume from the conference dinner,I wonder if I enjoyed it? a sailboat race, we came in second...and so much more. My gap is 3 months but apparently I was quite active, I don't know for sure. All my memories of that time are borrowed from others. Good friends all and I appreciate their attempts to help, but it is very disquieting sometimes. The good news is nobody has said the saw me naked on a rooftop with a deer rifle.

I had a visit with the cardiologist late last week about my bleed a couple weeks ago. No idea where the bleed was from but the suspect my INR went high and blood was diffusing through the intestine wall. He pronounced my heart sounded good and had a stable rythym. He said he was very pleased with my progress and that I far exceeeded his expectations considering my initial state months ago. He also released me to return to the gym as I see fit and changed my morning dose of BP meds (coreg). I then met with my PCP this week who had a bunch of questions because the records sent over from the hospital were in his words worthless. He had his nurse draw blood for a hemoglobin check. He checked my BP and went over my med list the questioned why my cardiologist only increased my morning meds but not the night ones, ask him. So now my hemoglobin is stable, BP is in the normal range and my INR is a comfortable 2.5. Yet another draw next week for INR and CBC. A good if tiring week...I'll take it. Funny, when I was in rehab I remember that whenever something improved or changed, no matter how little it was, I would say I'll take it. I became my personal mantra.

SassyBetsy, I have an appt with my PCP in a few hours, I'm going to try to explain all this to him, including how the stimulation interacts with my CPS...should be interesting.

Jayallen, My over-stimulation issues started in the hospital. When I would look out the window the colors were very vibrant and things like plant leaves were moving...but they weren't. Once I got out of the hospital I became very aware of the issue as I started interacting and going to places like the mall, now in general I avoid any group of people of more than 2 unless they are a group who knows my limitations. One group we are members of is very accommodating, but they also spent a lot of time in the hospital and rehab with me and got educated by one member who is a psychiatrist. They may not fully understand what I see and hear, but they understand how it exhausts me very quickly.

For them to fully understand would mean they also have a brain injury, not something I would wish on anyone. They can experience it for a few minutes in different venues but for many of us it is not something we can walk away from and it is fine after that. We wake up with the potential for it to happen and if we are lucky we make it through the day with our thought process in whatever version of intact exists for us. Sometimes I try to explain but often it is met with a lack of understanding. They can't concieve of having to wear earplugs in a restaurant and stare at the tabletop because the sound and movement is disorienting. The sound of ice cubes in a glass is overwhelming I used to try to go to lunch or dinner with friends but it was too hard and I was always the one who remained outside the conversation. There were even times I fled rather than experience what I knew was about to happen. Through all this my wife has been steadfast in her support and she understands a great deal about how things affect me,but trying to explain the explosion of color in the cereal asile is something you can't find words for. If we are lucky they just embrace those things we say 'that would be too much' and work with us to find a way to get through it.

I'm getting my energy back. This has cost me 2 weeks of gym time now which I can already feel in my endurance. Good news is my hemoglobin continues to climb and i have an INR blood draw today so the coumadin clinic nurse can adjust my dose to work me back to normal. We really trust here and our cardiologist, they've earned that.