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Stroke Survivor - female
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About heathber
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    Chief Mentor
  • Birthday 05/23/1965
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  1. That's the attitude! It's funny how the brain works and it sounds like he wants to wake up (hopefully it's not just because of nasty dreams) and I think that's a good sign although I'm no expert. Shannon will probably be a groggy and tired even after the anesthetic wears off. brain injury does this. He will need his rest and he needs to not fight that. you sleep crazy amounts in the early days of a brain injury and even years later my mental stamina is much less than it was.
  2. heathber

    What everyone else said. I find I'm spending quite a bit of time with my mother's friends these days. Mostly they are older than me but younger than her. I don't think age matters that much. Enjoy your new besties
  3. Hi, Jerry (I looked your name up on your profile, it feels wrong to call people by usernames) The first thing you say is "hello" or whatever you would have said in greeting before all this. He is still who he was before this, although much may also have changed The answer to all your other questions is no one knows what he will remember or what deficits he will have. Some may be obvious from the start, others may take a few weeks or even months to be noticed. The one thing you can be sure of is things will change from what you see on this first waking up. Don't be alarmed if his first reactions are weeping or anger, he will probably have very little emotional control at first. Don't let him push you away or be embarrassed if this happens it's "normal". Friends who stick through this beast are rare and special. Do encourage him to not give up no matter how bad it looks at first. Be patient and try not to do everything for him, one of the hardest parts of coming back from stroke is the loss of independence and control. No matter how long it takes to communicate let him make as many of the decisions as possible. I hope that helps you can do this and so can he, but it is !@#$% HARD WORK -Heather
  4. heathber

    Swear word swear word swear word!!!!!!! Don't you hate bureaucracy. This sounds very like me trying to get the funding for my car controls. You don't hear so you assume the process is working and then they tell you we needed "x" from you and you didn't reply so we cancelled your request. Now do it all again and go back to the end of the queue. Fingers crossed the new person is better organised.
  5. Hi Asha, the main thing is you are out there trying. Yes there's a reason you are no longer in the paid workforce. But despite that you are willing to give it a go. Sometimes writing down the steps as you think of them helps, main thing is don't let it get you down. The more you practice the sooner your brain will rewire for the skill you are trying to get back, but in the process there will of course be times things don't work (probably most times). Keep trying! -Heather
  6. heathber

    Yep heavy doors are my bugbear! so hard to negotiate with only one hand especially if you are also trying to carry something. this is one reason I avoid using a cane or stick. I now don't go anywhere without my fold up stash it bag in my handbag (which is actually a shoulder bag.) I also love backpacks. Why are handicap toilet doors always so heavy??? Although in more and more places now they have electronic opening and locking mechanisms that make a huge difference to being really independent.
  7. Paul, I'm now working as an assistant to the Service Delivery Managers in our Customer Support organisation. It's a role that keeps me busy, organising the time poor as well as providing support preparing reports and doing statistical analysis and making sure all the filing and governance stuff gets done. Having a tech Support and Network design background helps me to follow (mostly) the technical discussions at customer meetings. It's officially a project management role.
  8. I'm an ex network engineer myself so yes I get that need for a plan! So often there is no specific therapy for your problem. I find creating your own therapy/rehab works pretty well though. With all the research you've done you should have a good handle on how this recovery works by now. Analyse the problem, break it down to small things and practice the little bits that will build into the result you want over and over, and push a little further as you find you can do more. Like training for your marathons. Do you use a smart phone? try using messenger, whatsapp, or texting between each other during the day as a way to have a conversation without the immediate pressure to respond. ranting has it's uses too - I find it helps to understand the issues try going back to each point in your rant and look at it as a problem to be solved. what needs to change? what are the component parts of that change? what can you do now? how can you build on that? is there a left field solution or adaption you can use? Try not to focus on what you can't do, that way leads down the rabbit hole. Write it all down and there's your plan. Once you have a plan share it with Linda and the kids so you can all work on it . As you know just having a plan will feel like a huge step forward.
  9. heathber

    I've had muscle lengthening surgery a couple of times 1 considered major, 1 minor. plus gall bladder removal. The trickiest bit about surgery and hospital after stroke is non neuro trained nursing and physio staff who don't really "get" hemiplegia. The physio who insisted I use a standard walker after my leg surgery when I'd have been much better off using my crutch was the worst. but nurses who think you can't walk because their chart says left sided weakness are also horrible. hospital food in all it's little packages that you can't manage one handed also drives you crazy, the nurses never have time to help.
  10. heathber

    Kelli, the online Scrabble app ( through facebook) I use has spell check and dictionary functions so you can look up the words you want to use before you play them.
  11. It sounds like something to ask your speech therapist about. I admit to having no first hand experience for this one so feel free to ignore me. but what about writing some notes about the things you want to say to your wife and the difficulties you are having? you can do that for work why not for this? It sounds like you need to explain to her why you are retreating as that is what she sees/feels and can't understand. Can you come up with a physical cue you can give her that says "slow down" or "I'm working on it, I'm not ignoring you". Does writing things down help? can you have a written conversation as a way of relearning the skills
  12. heathber

    I thought I was amazing to get 2 in a row in my current game. I thought it was fair revenge for my opponent getting an 8 letter with the Q on 2 triple words last game. Needless to say he thrashed me on that one.
  13. heathber

    I too have a full blockage (healed closed after the dissection that caused my stroke) of one carotid artery (in my case right side). It's not really a problem unless something else happens that lowers your blood pressure significantly. In fact my doctors said to me on the bright side it actually reduces your chance of a second stroke, there's no blood flow there so there's no clots being formed or moving. I live a pretty full and active life without that artery so don't stress about it unless your doctor sees a need to do something and even then listen to the doctor. Going back to work so soon may have been unwise, but if you are coping OK with it go for it. Just don't push yourself too hard too fast and give yourself healing time as well.This things knocks you in ways you may not have realised at first. Listen to your body and rest if and when you need to. All the best -Heather
  14. heathber

    If you want to know what he's looking for ask him! My guess would be he's looking for the state of the arteries after they've had some time to heal. Has the artery healed closed, and if not what further risk is it posing to you. Over time he will be able to see how your body is adjusting to the change in blood flow. My dissected carotid artery healed closed and the smaller arteries have expanded to compensate. My neuro used an MRI but a CT scan was used for my initial diagnosis. I think which scan they use usually depends on availability and cost.
  15. heathber

    Best tactic here is to lock down the house first thing in the morning so windows and curtains shut then open up again late afternoon (once the suns off the windows). By doing that I avoid running the aircon. Although if it's been a really hot night I will run the aircon for an hour before I go to work as the cooler it starts the better the chance it will still be livable by the time I get home. I do use an ordinary electric fan by the bed overnight. When the wind/breeze is from the North the worst thing to do here is open the windows.