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Stroke Survivor - female
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About heathber

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    Senior Mentor
  • Birthday 05/23/1965

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  1. heathber

    Absolutely! keep on going. Hang in there, doing what you love helps!
  2. heathber

    Oh yes the "joys" of multi timezone chat. I hope you find a solution for the page size. keeping up with the typing can be tricky you have to not be too picky about your spelling etc.
  3. heathber

    It just proves you are better off not worrying about the next one til it actually happens. So sorry you drew the short straw. Fingers crossed for successful rehab.
  4. heathber

    Sarah you would love to be there and offer physical support, but it is not possible so send your love and best wishes and know that they know you would do more. But right now if you tried to go you would be more burden than help so don't beat yourself up.
  5. heathber

    Hang in there Nancy. Good luck with combating the "no eat" card and the Casino/slots. One time when being stubborn as a survivor is not a good trait.
  6. heathber

    yep everything crossed that the plans don't get changed
  7. heathber

    phooey but you got there eventually even if it wasn't by the most efficient means!
  8. heathber

    Hi Chris, I'm a survivor not a caregiver, so my response may not be what you are looking for. Although I'm sure one of the caregivers will be along to answer you shortly too. First up you are not being a spoiled brat. This thing is hard from both sides of the fence. It sounds like the TIA (second stroke) has affected both your husband's speech and his emotional centers. Although he may just be being a sh*t because he feels sh*tty and with his speech affected he has no other way to express his own frustration and anger. He may not be speaking much because he either can't find the words or can't get them past his tongue. One crazy thing about stroke speech effects is that swear words and anger seem to use a different part of the brain to everyday speech so those things can be said when other things can't. Also one thing often lost in a stroke is the ability to censor and control your expression of emotion. we call it "no filter" it's common and takes much training/work to overcome. Sleeping a lot is also common it's part of the brains recovery mechanism. Let him sleep and get your stuff done while he sleeps. Get out and get some exercise, build up your own energy and resilience, do something that makes you feel good. I don't believe the man you married is not in there somewhere. He's probably wailing at the bars of the cage his body has become. It sounds like you need to try and get him into some sort of residential rehab program for a few months. It it still early days in his recovery (this thing is measured in years not months) and much can be done with therapy. If there's no inpatient available get him into out patient or in home therapy. Although therapy needs to be something he wants to do and is willing to work at if it's going to achieve anything. Have you tried asking him what he wants? and explaining how his behaviour is affecting you? From what I've seen Men are much harder on themselves than women when they suddenly find themselves unable to do the things they used to do, the loss of control over yourself is very hard on the psyche. finding ways to give him back some control may help. Also don't forget to look after you. Caring for the carer is just as important as caring for the survivor. Have you actually asked his kids for help and given them something concrete to do? Make a list of what you need help with and make a point of using it. write the kids off only once they prove they can't/won't help. Many people are busy with their own lives and don't know what to do, so they do nothing. Hang in there it's not as bad as it feels right now. Feel free to rant and wail here when you need to. We will listen and understand. We've all been there and done it Hugs -Heather
  9. It looks perfect! Worth the effort. Try to do it in little chunks now the big stuff is done, tempting as it is to be "finished now" save some spoons for living. Hugs -Heather
  10. heathber

    So many odd things that brain damage does and we don't necessarily think to put names onto, until we are trying to explain it to someone else.
  11. heathber

    Alan running after a stroke is possible but you need special training and rehab for it. You need both strength and fast twitch muscle response which is something most stroke rehab ignores. I go to a "brain injury return to running" program at a local hospital. It's taken a couple of years and some surgery (I had some leg muscle shortening that needed correcting) but I'm now starting to do fast feet down the corridor. And as a bonus its been a real help with walking gait and speed.
  12. Good luck with everything Tracy. Don't forget to breathe
  13. heathber

    It has to happen, scared is fine. Do your advance care plan before hand (just in case) then trust your plan and hope it isn't needed. You've got this. (((hugs)))
  14. The best advice I can give at this point is sleep and rest! Don't try to overdo it. You would not go for a run with a broken leg. Right now your brain is injured and will take several months just for the physical healing. When your concentration is shot your brain is trying to tell you something, learn to listen to it. Your brain gets it best recovery when it doesn't need to do anything other than the minimum required to keep the body going so sleep when you can. Yes you need to push limits sometimes but be realistic too. There is a time and a place for "Stubborn" Heather
  15. heathber

    I'm in the celebrate it camp, too. 15 years is an achievement for both of you. It might not be a happy memory or a good moment in your lives but it was a major change and you both got through it and it should be marked in some way. Why not have a party so long as it's not too much for either of you. Can you ask a friend or family member to do the "work" of it?