pprovost

Louis Lacoste came over yesterday to gather information for the herb garden I want in the back yard. Carl wants to do it in stones rather than treated wood. It will cost more but he is feeling abundant lately so I won't discourage that trend. Looks like it will be about a 2 ft high wall in a kidney shape which will enable me to pick out weeds sitting on the wall. This should be fine so long as I have access to all parts of the bed form either side. It will be great to plant tomatoes and basil together and have ready supplies of fresh herbs to cook with. I will have to be careful to restriuct growth of mint plants that I want for teas. Mint can really get rampant if left to wander. I need to brainstorm for plants I want or need: chives, catnip, thyme, rosemary, oregano, sage, savoury, parsley, dill, coriander, nasturtium, mint, taragon, gaarlic chives, lemon balm,. I guess i will need a good sized : bed. $$$ :big_grin:

Christmas is hard for me too. If I was able I would be baking up a storm but I have to remind myself of what Christmas is about. It is about families thinking well of each other ( hopefully) it is also about being grateful. I wish the whole commercial aspect could be trashed. But alas, it will continue to be about shopping and spending and eating obscene amounts of food. If I had my way I would just stay home with my own tree and music and be with hubby and me. Pat

Dear Karen, Why not talk to the doctor. He will not give you false hope ( quite the contrary in many cases) Never assume anything. Up to a year much can happen. Science gains new knowledge every day. Research his condition. Take time for reflection and get to know your husband as he is now. My husband and I are much closer since my stroke. You may find the rewards of loving unconditionally. Therapy or a good friendly ear of a friend may help you as well. Allow yourself to grieve as you allow him to grieve. Two and a half months post stroke I was still in the hospital and when I got home I regained alot with outpatient therapies. best, Pat

Hi Rich, Abuse comes in many forms. It is clear that you have been in much pain. Be aware that we sometimes abuse ourselves by punishing ourselves because we are unwilling to accept ourselves as we are. I am glad you found our site. Don't deprive yourself of counselling because my experience was great in helping me understand how perception can be way different from person to person. I am eight years post stroke and I am finally finding peace with the life I have now. I wish this for you too. I believe that we are meant to fulfill a specific purpose and that if we were perfect physically or emotionally, we would be less than the best for the job. Keep us current on your progress. Pat

Hi Kristina, Your post has made me remember all the anger I was feeling after my stroke. I cannot deny that there was humungous anger but I didn't let it out. Instead, I opted for a series of mini melt-downs afterwhich I felt worse because I had not banished the pain. My husband really helped neutralize all this repressed anger. He just flooded me with unconditional love. I still cannot believe how he could love that thing that he was married to. My Mom and sister bore the brunt of my anger and they never abandoned me. Family is so important even when we resent their luck to have not had a stroke . i soon realized that they did not choose to NOT have a stroke. I didn't choose to have a stroke either. *beep* happens as they say but never give up. Pat

Discussions about my stroke do not bother me generally if the person inquiring is a good listener and not intent on solving everyone's problems. I get distressed when I relate the difficulties I have as a result of my disabilities. When I hear '' Ya but... Why can't you try .....'' I cringe and feel heat under my collar. I feel I have given a 100% effort and don't need to have people with able bodied perceptions implying that I am not trying hard enough. However, I have met many people who have quality information to pass along. I am very receptive if it is presented in a way that gives it credibility. For example , one could say, '' Did you see the article in the newspaper about the possiblility of such and such therapy having showed promising results for people like you? If you like, I could send the article to you. I have found that as time passes, I get more used to dealing with explaining why I have to wear a brace and now my skin has thickened enough to repel most irritants. Talking about stroke is much easier I would guess than talking about a degenerative disease or terminal illness where the prognosis is that the future will be worse than it is now. Pat

One of the good things about online stroke support is that you never have to reapply your lipstick. If you do, the bathroom is the place to do it. Pat