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Here goes: 1. I am grateful for my Psychiatrist who has helped me tremendously. He helps me feel less crazy and I mean that. 2. I am grateful for my bathtub because it can always help me when I need to get warm, relax, have less body pain, and ofcourse clean body and hair! 3. I am thankful that I can cook dinner for the most part this makes me feel useful. 4. I am thankful for my friend and aquaintances I have met here you guys rock and help me more than you'll ever know. 5. I am thankful for my sister because she is always there for me and makes me feel normal if there is such a thing. Gratuity doesn't have to be something big or life changing. It can be anything...the wind, the sun, a card, a friend, a cake you love, anything .

Way to go Asha! Fred you are so positive an inspiration to me.

I am thankful you can do that Fred. Thank you for reading!

Good idea Asha.

Me too David!!! There is no telling what things would be like if I couldn't.

I missed yesterday so I am doing 10 for today . 1. I am thankful for my legs because I still get pretty much where I want to be. 2. I am thankful for the rain and thunder today it was soft and didn't scare me and I took a wonderful nap. 3. I am so very thankful for my bed I LOVE my bed! 4. I am thankful for my neighbors on both sides pets ( doggies) who have become my friends and let me visit with them. 5. I am thanful for my coat that my mom gave me for my birthday it fits and looks great and I love wearing it. 6. I am thankful for my night light because I depend on it in the dark when I wake up (I don't see very well in the dark at all but light is something I can focus on.) 7. I am thankful for my daughter because she took so much care of me when I had the stroke even when it was really tough. I love her. 8. I am thankful for root beer because I love it sooooo much lol. 9. I am thankful for my mom and step dad because they are helping me with some important stuff. I love them. 10. I am thankful for Adrian when he helps me feel safe when it storms (I hear one coming). What are you guys thankful for?

I have been so blue lately and one thing I did when I first had the stroke was the 5 things a day gratitude list. This is my challenge to myself to complete 1 week of my own list of gratitude (5 a day). I think this is good for me. 1. I am thankful for my mom because I know I can always go to her even when I can't to anyone else and she loves and helps me. 2. I am thankful for our car...we only have 1 between 3 adults but I know that without it life would be a harder struggle. 3. I am thankful for my planner Because it is my memory list and it's why I get some things done. 4. I am thankful for my kitty who is my best friend and companion. She is always here for me always. 5. I am thankful that Adrian can give me rent money. It is a huge blessing that I have a roof over my head. Here's my first list.

It's official, I will be without insurance...and I feel as though my relationship is about to end. It's all I can say.

It's been a while since I have written a blog. Just haven't been able to sit and do it. First I am so much better from having a really bad respiratory infection that triggered my asthma terribly. I can't explain what it's like to not be able to breathe in air. It is scary and panic is right at your surface. I have had to use a nebulizer for 2 weeks to get effect from my asthma medicine it just delivers it so much better. Then right in the middle of it I get the most horrendous urinary tracy infection. Needless to say I really felt bad. My doctor made me come in again because his nurse told him I looked and sounded horrible when I went in to give a urine sample. Finally though I am beginning to feel better. I've had a lot on my mind this last month...my daughter and I are not getting along at all and she has decided to move on her own to get away from me or me and my husband. I wish I could say I am boasting how proud I am that she is growing up and finding her independance but it has been a roller coaster ride. My daughter can say really hurtful things, downright mean things, as a mom it makes me question myself as a stroke survivor it cause extreme anxiety. My husband also has a new job which is great because he is making so much more now. We didn't find out that they don't cover "domestic Partners" (he and I are not "really" married but we have lived as such) on their insurance plan. So I went from having insurance to thinking that soon I would have insurance again but now we find out that Cobra will be 1000/month and the marketplace about 850. I won't know until later today if I will be getting any insurance. Adrian told me he would take care of it so I have tried to put my faith in his words but it will be difficult...rent is due and other bills and food. I have worried myself to death. I'm so scared of not having insurance. The amount of medicine I take, the amount of Doctors I see and the fear of having another stroke is just weighing on me. Ok for the positive part my mom gave me a great wooden shelf that works perfectly as a kitchen island and it matches my cabinets like it was meant to be. It has made me so happy and I have just told her over and over how thankful I am. Just life's roller coaster it will get better...this too will change.

I think you are right Asha. We are very practical gift buyers usually but my husband believes in giving a romantic gift 1st. (the necklace) I have learned for my family its not the presents at all many times we'll put any money set aside for Christmas together and get something we have all been wanting and needing it's just as special!

Things are all quiet now after the holidays and I have been more tired than ever needing a nap each day this week. I'm still in the process of some psych med changes and that doesn't help. My husband has been working nights during his training at his new job but this will end soon. Our king size bed feels really big when he's not there with me. I think I have gotten into a habit of going to sleep a bit later than usual so this could explain all the naps. Whatever it is its sorta blah. I did however have some excitement in the last week. We had our Christmas after Christmas! I got a big fluffy white comforter because mine was way past done. I love it! I also got a pretty necklace that has a blue crystal in it and on the back is silver and it says "I love you to the moon and back" and I adoree it!!! My husband was having difficulty giving me my last 2 presents. He wanted me to know they aren't really presents but he wanted me to experience something new. When I opened them it was a light up electric cork screw and a wine aerator. I never drink anymore so I understand now why he was hesitant to give them to me. He told me he wants me to try some after being put through the aerator that it is much better and he knew I didn't have any drinks anymore not that I ever have but he wanted to show me something I haven't experienced. All in all it was a great Christmas and I feel so blessed. We are helping my daughter buy her first set of tires for her car for Christmas and my husband got a very nice watch (a diving watch). It was just what we needed to bring a little cheer into the new year.

It's seems so long since blogs have been available and a big than you to Steve and team for being able to bring this great thing back online. Holidays are now passed and we are enjoying the beginning of our new year! My birthday was Dec 2nd and we decided my birthday and Christmas would be after the New Year because money was an issue this year. I am looking at 2 of my gifts which arrived this past week and I've been told no opening until they all get here. I am patient but I see them here on the table every day beautiful material bags wrapped closed with a white ribbon. I can even feel the boxes inside!!! I sorta feel like a kid again when waking up Christmas morning and running into the living room to see all the gifts under the tree. It's exciting! All is good here and winter has already given us some snow! Not a lot but enough to enjoy is beauty. Over the holidays I was able to see both my mom and stepdad as well as my Dad and stepmom. I also had a great time visiting with the rest of my family. I sure miss them. I did have to battle a camera flash about 4 times until I could get it out that I couldn't watch that. I didn't even think about that until that night. It was like when it flashed a jolt of lightening hit me and I went blind for a moment. Needless to say I wasn't the same the rest of the evening LOL. I also got most of my Christmas Want To Do list which I did instead of a New Year resolution. I was proud that I actually got so many of them done and had I not made my list to guide me I'm afraid I wouldn't have. All in all it was a good ending to 2016 and now it's been a year and a half since my stroke. Things are starting to feel better, different and I'm accepting things or starting too and it helps me to feel good about myself. Here's to the progress of 2017 and to all of you!

Also do a search on Raynaud's Disease Clothing and it brings up a multitude of sites with lots of different ideas. I just did it and am going to poke around a bit and see what I can find!

Becky I really like those gloves. I purchased an inexpensive pair where the flap would come over and make a mitten. They couldn't hold up and broke after just a couple of uses so I took them back. But if I put more effort and maybe paid more I think those gloves are fabulous!

Donna I have had the painful cracked heels many times to and it is so uncomfortable. The best thing I have found is to keep both my hands and feet as moisturized as I can. It doesn't work 100% but has cut down on the quantity and length of time to get it healed. It's a mystery illness to me most of the time I don't know why or what I can do about it. I try to stay calm cause my anxiety can bring on attacks. I just plain hurt in the winter and I feel like that is the most I can say about it.

Thank you Heather for the great ideas! I'm sure I could get creative this Christmas. It's definitely something I can work to move towards. I bet it would beat not being able to give anything!

I had a pretty even bilateral stroke so both sides are still affected the same. I'm not really sure if mine has gotten worse we are just now getting into winter and I don't remember much of last winter. I do know it is still there. We'll see how this winter goes.

It must be a full moon because believe it or not craziness happened again on my street. This time two girls were fighting and two guys were trying to break it up. One guy was standing between the passenger seat and the door of an SUV and the lady in the car hit the door and it closed on this guy. Then the lady in the SUV rammed into her car then they both backed up and ran into each other. I called 911 for a second time about totally different people and told them they better get back over here pretty quick cause by that time both girls were out of their vehicles again and fighting. Then another car shows up and a guy and a girl jump out and then the girl commences to try and beat up the girl in the car. The girl in the SUV had called them it must have been her friends. All the while the two boys were trying to keep them apart. The police finally arrived and made everyone stay. I could hear them blaming each other which pretty much is true except the car rammed first. Come to find out the lady in the car had an infant in the backseat!! and the lady in the SUV was pregnant!! :nonono: Way to go morons! The fire dept. showed up and a wrecker had to come and get the car. Another hour and a half of craziness!!!!!

It's Donna right? I have Raynauds and I understand everything you are saying. It's been in the 20's here for a couple of days and it kills me. I can't warm my hands or feet and I feel bitter painful cold down to the bone. I wish you the best I know how much you suffer. Mine started about a year before the stroke maybe not quite that long. My fingers have cracked all winter before and my thumb and another finger just would go numb for days at a time and look blackish blue or white like they were dead. I absolutely hate the winter.

I hope I helped someone...this morning I heard a big bang or pop and it scared me it was really loud and close and sounded like a gun. Moments later there was a guy and a girl in the street and he was punching her in the face I called 911 and the police came 1 then 2 cars then 3 and 3 more undercover cars with cops who had protective vests on. It's been over and hour and 2 policemen are still there. It was scary! I don't live in the best neighborhood so I pleaded with the officer to please keep me anonymous. I think that the guy had taken a bat or tire iron to the young ladies car lights and I think that was the pop. Anyway I hope she is ok and I hope to not see anything around here like that anytime soon!!

Sue that is heartwarming and I agree with you whole heartedly.

Being thrifty at Christmas is one of those things that I don't enjoy. I don't spend an enormous amount by any means but maybe one gift and a card seems hard to me. I shouldn't complain...my Christmas check off list is coming along well, I get to see my mom and family this Saturday and just the whole atmosphere at my mom's is magical. All the grandkids get presents and all the adults get money (the same amount each year) which has made us all cry at one moment or another just out of need and feeling all their generosity. We all look forward to the cards our mom gives us (my sisters and brothers) because she writes in them every year and there is never a dry eye. There's just a lot of love in that house especially at Christmas. I know I will feel it but I won't be able to give presents to my mom or step-dad or put in a present for the clean version of dirty Santa. I just want to give back. At home we are going to have to be so frugal with Christmas that we may each get a small gift or one that we will all use. We've had to do this before so that's something I'm prepared for. I don't think Christmas is all about gifts...I just love to give. It makes me feel good inside. I have been working on a cookbook all year for my family and have it all finished and ready to print but we found out it was going to cost like $300 to get it printed for everyone. I intended on putting the pages in page protectors and into a 3 ring binder that can be added to.So now I am considering sending the cookbook around electronically and allow each family to decide if they want to print it or keep it on the pc. I've worked so hard on this project and put my heart into it including how I wanted to present it to each family. I can wait and save up money and do this later but that means no gift giving at all for me. That's just hard. But I know how it will be because we have barely $20 to get down there and back and both hubby and daughter do not get paid until next week's Friday. This is really just a good way for me to vent and let off that pressure a little I feel inside myself.I know this Christmas will be a blessing none the less.

I do feel good about checking them off real satisfaction feeling. Asha I am ready for Santa.

Now that's a great idea Fred!