Jump to content


Staff - Stroke Support
  • Content Count

  • Donations

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Country

    United States

Everything posted by HostTracy

  1. What can I say... So far 2020 has been earth shaking. Let me warn you before reading: these are my thoughts, my experiences, my worries and where I find my mind these days. This is not meant to add to the fear and chaos or to bring a negative light toward anyone. My words come from me and if you are sensitive to hearing someone's honest, transparent and straightforward thoughts then this may not be for you. I try to remember January. I don't remember what day I heard the news of a novel virus that shut down a large metropolitan city in China. I did ponder the fact but honestly not for long. I had been dealing with my own health issues and problems with illness (more than 1) that has been flaring my asthma. I think I have taken 3 steroid packs since the beginning of the year. In February, I began to hear more and more about the novel virus now known as the 2019 novel Corona virus and now more the more familiar (name and possible illness) Covid-19 and SARS-CoV-2. I started to see signs of other countries developing cases and watched the worry of everyone about the virus spread and travel (on planes and those who had been to China). I still didn't feel immanent fear but some time during February this started to affect me more. Then a F3 tornado slammed through Nashville. It was completely shocking and thankfully I now live about 45 minutes south. This tornado had torn through my old stomping grounds, within 1/4 mile from my previous home, ripping through the area I went to often for my groceries and many of the roads I took on a daily basis. I think maybe a week went by and then Nashville had its 1st case/s of Covid. Very close to home and where all of my Dr's are. On March 6th I went to my local walk in clinic because I knew I was sick. Flu test, strep test and exam. Tests are negative and I was sent home with a steroid pack and told to use my nebulizer 4x/day for my asthma. Not feeling better I went to my PCP on Monday the 9th. No truly bad symptoms so I was told to continue with my steroid pak and nebulizer treatments. 2 days later I am much worse, heavy persistent cough, headache, sore throat, fever, etc. My PCP said come in and I went to his office in Brentwood. I thought I was to see my Dr. but instead saw a NP who gave me another round of tests for flu and strep. This visit was different than usual... I was immediately isolated and given a mask and everyone that saw me was fully dressed with PPE. I was also given a virus panel test (not Covid test) and a chest x-ray. I was sent home with the same course of treatment and told to self quarantine until I was called with my results. A week later I was told I only had a regular cold virus but it would be best if I continued to self isolate due to being hi risk for serious illness if I developed Covid. So I hunkered down, stayed at home. Thankfully I had the where with all to go to Costco and Target for things I would need to not run out with. I actually got 1 of the last 4 Kirkland paper towels and the only toilet tissue left was a name brand (im cheap lol I use Kirkland), I got a 5 pack of Lysol wipes, eggs, milk, and a few other necessities. BTW Costco looked like a war zone. I just happened to get there about a day before all he** broke loose. I did find a large pack of toilet paper from Target. The next day every shelf in every store I went to was bare (necessities). I ran out of toilet paper yesterday thankfully I have a pack of baby wipes (don't flush these!). I did manage to get a large bag of Always descreet pads (totally am having leaks with every cough). The next week I am no better, my nebulizer is mostly not helping and now I have new symptoms a horrible taste in my mouth every time I cough and a cough headache that is sharply painful with pressure at each temple and across my entire head. I feel this acute pain with every cough and a general headache while not coughing. So I called my PCP office. At the same time my phone starts doing this weird thing of not ringing when the Dr. calls but going directly to voice mail. So for about a week of trying to contact someone, anyone I was losing and just getting sicker. Finally, today the nurse used a phone from another office to call me after I frantically had explained my issues sick and dumb phone to a very nice lady involved in deciding if you need a covid test. She and her colleagues had all agreed that it doesn't sound like I need a test but needed immediate attention for what I was going through and she contacted my Dr office with an urgent message. Seems like my neb med was not what I should have been using. She sent the stronger prescription today. Let's see how it goes. I've been watching the updates to this pandemic daily. I know I am "high risk" (asthma, high blood pressure, diabetes, and just that I have had a stroke). I sit and watch as stores close, schools close, supplies become scarce, other cities desperate for help and supplies. I feel like doom is coming and I have 0 ability to control it. I also watch political leaders in my own country (including the president) squabble and stumble to be the one with the "right" message for American citizens. My question is where do politics even fit into this reality. It sickens me and I do not feel positive or safe about any of their attempts to "lead". We are being told "We are all in this together" but I just don't feel it. I feel like the truth of this "thing" is teetering and could fall at any time and we have no idea what that means. So I am trying to rest and feel better, use my new neb med and watch all the Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, Disney+ and whatever else I can find to keep my mind busy. I'm looking forward to hopefully feeling better soon and feeling like doing projects around the house. I want to plan more "normal" activities and take this time at home to make improvements. To feel active, to be able to enjoy the birds at my bird feeder, watch flowers do their colorful dance and make projects happen around the house inside or out that I have been wanting to do for a while. I pray for everyone's safety and please take care of yourselves.
  2. HostTracy

    Janelle, you have given me a dose of the most perfect medicine. I am still laughing. πŸ˜‚ To update one thing well two.... I had a covid test on Tuesday (been sick for over a month) and they just called. It is negative!! 😊 Second, I DIY made my own tushy wipes and they work wonderfully. Paper towel is easier to find so I have enough to dry lol. Of course no flushing but I feel as clean as a whistle! 😁 Janelle, you are a gem. ❀️ you!
  3. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! πŸ™‚
  4. http://www.strokechat.net/ Come join us for chat!
  5. HostTracy

    I've been doing the rain dance Janelle 😊 you're welcome. πŸ˜‚ It's nice to see the rain decided to visit. I too did a double take looking at the cars on the road. Geez, I would not allow me to drive over there! It would not be pretty... I bet I'd off on the side of the road in the floor board crying! 😭🀣
  6. HostTracy

    ❀️ Thanks Heather.
  7. HostTracy

    Darrell you are welcome for my little input earlier (not sure if anything I have or am confronted with fits but I do share very similar things to those who have had posterior circulation stroke even in the brainstem). I whole heartedly agree with my other friends here. I know I definitely am not the same as after my stroke. Many things improved, went away, or I learned skills to deal with them (usually through therapy - physical and mental). The intricate way in which the brain accepts, processes, and sends new info out to complete an action, a response to those is just so complicated. It some times takes a long time for new connections and work around that can be helpful to us that have had an acquired brain injury. I will tell you that the brain is remarkable though. It wants to win. Impulses travel on pathways or highways and any disruption in that can cause so many things to not communicate correctly. I'm not sure of any specific answer but time is your friend. Keep the faith and all the blessings for you guys. ❀️
  8. HostTracy

    Thanks for all the positive comments and comradery. I've made some short term goals: get this cold kicked and my asthma under control (I need to be as healthy as I can be if Covid ever knocks on my door)... Catch up on my housework as I feel better (I haven't been able to keep on top of it-trying to rest a lot too)... Continue clearing my chain link fence and the areas in front of it of brush, vines, trash, roof tiles?, and cutting all stumps to ground level with my loppers (just doing a bit at a time). Staying home is very agreeable with me. It is easier than dealing with people (weird but true). So I am trying to persist at what fills up my happy glass. I know this will be much easier once I'm all well. It's always good for me to create focus... Make goals/projects and to split these into steps. Feels good to check off a step. πŸ™‚
  9. HostTracy

    That made me smile lol. Literally, my cheerleader skirt is in my 2nd bedroom from more than 30 years ago (OK I probably can only get it on one thigh lol). In all seriousness, I very much understand your message. I am all for doing what I can to lift my spirit and hopefully that is infectious but not viral. πŸ˜‰
  10. HostTracy

    Sue things out of our hands so to say are a real anxiety monster. I have worked very hard for the past 5 years to rise above this. For the most part I have... Sometimes my frustration and fear comes from what other people are doing. I have to remind myself that I have 0 control over the actions or I actions of others too. Then I read something that wraps me up in a safe place... The Serenity Prayer. I'm going to do what I should be doing and the rest I'm giving to God. Thank you for listening and the appropriate distance hug. I needed that. ❀️
  11. HostTracy

    My stroke was bilateral cerebellar stroke in the PICA region so not a brainstem stroke. The brainstem and cerebellum are fed by the same posterior circulation (I believe that is correct). I have what is called Cerebellar Cognitive Affectice Syndrome (CCAS) for short.
  12. HostTracy

    Kevin you amaze me with your determination and positive scheduling! That hoop house is a work of art and love! Please keep sharing your progress... I very much enjoy your pictures. You and Deb are a great team! Keep up the riding so happy to hear of your improvements. You may not have the issue I do but I keep a journal and have blogged here as well. It helps me to see my true progress. πŸ™‚
  13. HostTracy

    πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰AWESOME!!! πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ» It was great to see you in chat earlier today! Hope to see you back soon!
  14. HostTracy

    Hey Carlton! Pleasure to meet you. This is a really great group of people. Looking forward to seeing you more. I saw that you joined chat today. I am also a chat host (Mon & Wed 3-4 EST) come visit some time! βŒ¨οΈπŸ’¬πŸ‘πŸ» We have a lot of fun.
  15. HostTracy

    Oh my goodness I love you Pam! 😁 You never fail to bring me some cheer. Me and Kitty are completely binge watching Netflix, Amazon video, Hulu, Disney+ and a new streaming option CuriosityStream. I have been fighting a regular cold virus (was tested) that has flared my asthma so add breathing treatments every 4-6 hours. I have almost perfected the complete reversal of when I sleep (up all night/sleep all day) but haha that has been a ongoing struggle for a while. I am listening to a few audio books. I also have been watching YouTube tutorials for crafting. Oh yeah, I watched several yesterday on how to sew face masks for medical workers. These are not the ones that completely block virus but since their is such a shortage crisis my cousin (a nurse) said these are better than what the govt has recommended if they run out (a bandana around the mouth and nose) and I own a sewing machine. I may try to do this. I am also recipe scouting and adding to my "recipes to try" binder. My daughter Hailey has been staying with me. She likes to cook and I clean the dishes so that works out great. I'm playing catch up on anything around the house I may have put off at other times. This gives me encouragement to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize. I have got to download some hidden object games. I love those. Hailey and I spend most if our time doing our own thing. She is 23 so hanging with mom is not her priority right now. Trying to catch toilet paper available to place an order to be delivered. Yep 2 rolls left. 😬 OH I made my own hand sanitizer and sanitizer wipes (cotton rounds) for disinfecting cart handles if I have to really get something or door handles and other highly touched areas. I can't find aloe Vera gel, so I use equal parts aloe Vera juice and 91% alcohol with a few drops of essential oils. I use a small spritzer bottle and a small ziploc plastic container for the cotton rounds. Aloe Vera keeps the alcohol from drying out skin. Works great! BTW the aloe Vera juice is actually used as a health thing to drink so it usually is in the health/diet/protein area and is a huge bottle! That's about it for lately. I love that you have a nice schedule Pam... I need to implement that!
  16. Blessings to you and don't you worry a moment about communicating with each of us. Your response is very clear and very much is all inclusive. πŸ™‚ Problem solving is also an issue for me and especially when I'm "extra strokey" that's what I call a bad day haha. I think I gave an example of year round anxiety trigger instead of Anniversary trigger. I had my stroke 7-5-2015 - one day passed 4th of July and this day has brought me anxiety every year since. It doesn't help that it is legal to set off fireworks in our neighborhoods... That starts a few days before and continues for a good week after. Nothing like dropping a glass of drink or doing the crazy dance at random times during this. I'm a bit of a nut the whole time... My anxiety is very high then.
  17. HostTracy

    Thank you Becky for putting light on this subject. I know I am in the high risk group (asthma, stroke history, diabetes, well controlled high blood pressure) so I have been vigilant and at home for at least 2 weeks now. It's important that new survivors get the info that they may be immuno compromised especially so early in the journey. Just to add something (I am only passing on what I have read in recent reputable posts on Covid-19 but it is still totally 3rd party) several persons from a medical perspective have relayed that the worse cases have all shown ibuprofen in their system probably self administered med when starting to feel ill. More than a few have said to avoid ibuprofen for the time being and use acetaminophen/paracetamol only. Thankfully, I'm not allowed to take ibuprofen and only use Tylenol. Just a possible precaution. Stay safe, wash your hands often, and inside is best. ❀️
  18. These are all great answers. To answer the question sort of... I definitely have these moments or pieces of time. First.. Taco Bell... I ate Taco Bell the night I stroked. I absolutely can't eat that ever again. I can't even stand to smell it. That night I threw up (massive projectile v that truly didn't stop for weeks/months) and just thinking or seeing Taco Bell is like complete PTSD for me. I don't think that will ever change. I suffer many psychiatric issues from my stroke. I tend to have cyclical bouts of depression, Sad (this winter has been my worst and I experienced a huge amount of Cognitive decline. Still not 100% but feeling it lifting). I, like Becky, now have a pretty severe anxiety disorder with panic attacks... This makes me regress when I'm not controlling this well. I also have overstimulation of all my senses. So any time I go through things like that I regress. I do get back to myself but at times it takes a bit. This seasonal Affective disorder depression has set me back since November. I have a very difficult time talking, communicating, controlling emotional lability (I have continued PBA), severe fatigue... It is disturbing every day. I do have Cognitive Behavior therapy every week and also see my Psychiatrist every other month. There are many types of therapy and I find myself looking forward to it. It can be scary to feel so out of sorts and to feel regression. Be kind to yourself and you may really receive help from talking to a therapist. Always keep your neurologist/PCP up to date of your concerns and times like you are speaking of. They can help decide if there is something that may help and it adds a measure of reassurance for yourself. Take care and I hope you are feeling better soon.
  19. HostTracy

    Oh Janelle (((hugs))) I just read this. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much our little furry friends mean to us. I know the comfort they bring. Ivy will always be a part of you. I know Ivy will be twitching her nose and grinding her teeth watching over you from bunny heaven. β€οΈπŸ™πŸΌβ€οΈπŸ™πŸΌ
  20. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! πŸ™‚ http://www.strokechat.net/
  21. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! πŸ™‚ http://www.strokechat.net/
  22. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! πŸ™‚ http://www.strokechat.net/
  23. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! πŸ™‚ http://www.strokechat.net/
  24. HostTracy

    Janelle I am so happy you have had a positive experience with counseling. I have been to my Psychiatrist every other month for 4 years and started weekly Cognitive Behavior therapy about 2.5 years ago. My Neurologist told me I may always need to go to both due to my CCAS from the stroke. I look forward to our session every week. Angela and Dr. Chalfant are a lifeline to me. I am challenged in many ways when it comes to processing what I experience everyday. When my anxxxiety gets intense I need help and can call Angela. I always feel like I am getting back on track after our sessions and feel so grateful and thankful for them both. You are very right... Sometimes just saying things out loud and now knowing I won't be judged but offered support - nothing can compare. Hugsss.
  25. Deigh thank you for that positive update. I too understand the comfort of the chat room and if I were to try the very same conversation face to face of either one or several people... I would have certain issues. I would probably have something to say but I know from experience that even after trying multiple times to speak out I hesitate especially if I start to say something but then someone starts talking. Sometimes I feel my physical self letting go of my thought because it's easier I think. I freeze. I stutter. I sputter. I ramble trying to center on my point. I can go into a panic attack I'd my anxiety of the situation becomes too much. Yes... I've learned to avoid things at times. I promise you though I type 100% better than I talk or execute communication verbally. There are a few people I can comfortably talk with. My brain trips me up when I am verbal. I have good control when I'm typing. I so much relate. πŸ™‚