HostTracy

Thank you Heather for the great ideas! I'm sure I could get creative this Christmas. It's definitely something I can work to move towards. I bet it would beat not being able to give anything!

Sue that is heartwarming and I agree with you whole heartedly.

I do feel good about checking them off real satisfaction feeling. Asha I am ready for Santa.

Now that's a great idea Fred!

I know right? I've never been a great list writer until now. Writing it is easy...remembering to write it or rembering where I put it if not in my planner is a different story lol. I also want to really try yoga. My local YMCA offers it as a class and I'm hoping this next year I can afford a membership. They also have water yoga and water aerobics in an inside pool so it is year round. I'm going to make this a hopeful goal for next year.

Heather notes have become my resource to initiate and finish most things and if I get a little loose in making sure that I make that list then I see so many things just never make it to the end. That's a good way to say it my internal filing system is all out of whack. My husband asks me every night when the dinner will be ready to eat because he takes medicine accordingly and I stumble over those times every time. I try to think ahead and just add more time than what I think because it is never finished when I think it will be. He doesn't quite get that lol, at least not yet. I think having to do it though is probably good for me. I have also been setting reminders on my phone when I remember. Maybe that is something I need to write on my lists...reminders about setting reminders lol.

Thank you Sue my PT told me to be sure to include rest time in my daily tasks one time. I sometimes just get caught up and it catches up to me. That's great advice.

I have made my list but I am going to have to refer to this blog post for motivation. It's this low and I don't like it. I think because it gets dark so early now and it's cold and wet. Tracy this is for you. 

Fred you have officially made me speechless lol. I'd bet money you are right though.

Thank You all so much for being so inspirational! 

Kelli I read your post with much interest and wanted to give you the best answer I can. FOr me I remember before, I remember the stroke, and I remember everything but maybe one week after. I know one thing I took a lot of things for granted and never in a million years did I think that those things could be taken away or changed (touched even). I've had ADD for a very long time so I was used to being scatter brained and forgetful. I also had mood changes before and sometimes had a lot of energy and sometimes had very little. I do know I was busy...working 8 hours a day on my feet. Money issues and stress. At times I have had depression. But I was the smiler...the lady that made you smile as well. Doing that gave me energy. I was too busy a lot of times to enjoy the little things around me. Even the weather, trees, animals, socializing (I was tired), a bed, my car. I just went through a lot of life just making it and a lot got lost during. I loved music and dancing! I was humorous at times, I loved holidays, liked to have a cocktail every once in a while. My daughter and I would have dancing nights. Yes this well 40-43 at the time twerked and booty clapped I had rhythm, and pretty good movement that was smooth and undulating. I felt that I could voice what I needed to and not afraid. I felt like I understood usually what others were trying to tell me, or how my relationships with other people were. (This includes family) This was before the stroke. Things made sense to me even when I was neglectful of small details. Now I feel frustrated a lot. I do feel like I should be able to ____. It makes me sad when I remember what I used to could do and now I can't or not as well. I have said that I feel like I'm on a different plane than others. I get confused and sometimes I don't even know I am. I feel alone a lot even when people are beside me. Time is harder for me. I need more now to do what I used to. My body doesn't move fluidly, I don't like loud music and I just don't enjoy it as much. I do what I call a stroke dance when I feel a beat and my body wants to move...no more twerking, booty clapping, or tootsie rolling. My body will not do them. I am very quiet now, subdued. This is different than before. I sometimes stutter when I try to say things especially if I am talking to someone I love and it's important. Because I am afraid. I'm not really sure what I am afraid of really. I waddle (ataxia) and it looks weird and I wonder if I look weird doing it. I have real trouble making a plan and carrying it out. I feel I disappoint others sometimes;but, I also feel blessed in a way I had never before. I feel so happy to see the sun, I feel like a child when I see my parents, I see the trees and they are beautiful. I notice the wind when it blows the leaves. I watch other animals in awe sometimes. I feel accomplished by smaller things. I love my bed! I want to learn more about me instead of customer service...me service. I'm not as hard on myself as I used to be. I am slower and life is slower than once before. I feel so blesses that I can drive a car and that I have one to drive. I feel proud of the new things I have learned. It's just a combination of things. To me there is no clear answer. I feel different but the same. I still say it is like I am me but the world is different...it's a different plane. The rules are not exactly what they used to be but mostly they are the same. I hope that any of this makes sense. 

Thank you Yvonne that is a good thing to keep close at heart.

Lin those are a couple of good news I can deal with. I guess I haven't cared as much about hair on my legs since I stroked but on occasion I just need a pick me up and primp. What an easy way to get a pick me up LOL. I think also the Health record idea is great and we should all have one. It will be something I incorporate into my routine. Thank you!!

Thank you Sue. I think I have decided not to do make ahead meals. I'm just too tired ya know. I get overly tired just making one meal. I have a couple of almost ready made stuff already in the freezer and I'm ok with that. I am tired reading all my plans too Sue LOL.

Very great story that warms the heart. Things like this really help you see that there is good all around you. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is accept help. Jay enjoy your celebration dinner with your company and think of these moments as a pay it forward. You just happen to be in the receive seat for now...I know that those who really appreciate such things do good for others. What an uplifting story.

Thanks to you guys so much.

Yvonne thank you so much. One step at a time...my new mantra.

Sue I wasn't sure how to be when I went but I just felt like I needed to talk about something good that I remembered. It felt so great when I brought a smile to her face. The last few weeks she has just been taken over by sadness. I'm so glad I found the right thing to say. It's hurts inside so bad to see people hurting and you feel helpless. Sue you are such a positive influence on here. I know you went through that all consuming pain and I am so glad that you, I think, are at a point where you can look back at the good memories. Thank you for the things you have said to me, it has helped me realize that I have been there and helped in some small way.

Me too Sue me too!

Sue you are always there in my blogs cheering me on I had to come and visit your. It seems like you are learning yourself again and that is beautiful. Once we are more than ourselves we become more of those around us as well. It's not that we neglect ourselves there is just so much more than one to have thought for. I have learned this year after my stroke which is different but the same in a way, that I want to know me again. I am like you the simple things seem to give me peace an happiness. Working and watching my plants or flowers grow up and bloom kinda like watching our children grow up and like I was telling Kelli spread their wings. I appreciate what is around me now, I can place true value for myself better than I could before. It makes it a little easier when I make a change or rid something. I can gauge better what I'm ready to change and what I'm not ready for. It is a journey. A journey for you and a journey for me we are just taking different paths. I think you have learned to look around and see beautiful things right on your own path. What a gift that is. It's like when I first appreciated the smell of the breeze one day and the rustle of the trees as it went through them. I used to find myself so busy that i never smelled or heard anything. Trips I had to say something of trips...I've always loved to travel. Now for the first time I can remember I love when I am here at my house and alone...my mind is quiet and more mindful. Today I think I would enjoy this better than a trip somewhere too. They are usually fast and with a full agenda of things. Sometimes simple is right.

I can't agree more with everyone. Kelli you are amazing, just yourself, and you deserve to fulfill that. Your attitude toward the confusion that goes on around your ex is a big part of his responsibility too. I love your attitude right now. Kelli its like a baby bird ready to fly. and you are ready my dear spread your wings and take your own journeys...it will be magical. That smart son of yours will never be far but it would also give him a blessing to see his mother getting better and spreading her wings. That's a brave thing to do. He will know this. Always remember to love and take care of another we must do that for ourselves first. That is not being selfish it means you will have the energy, ability, and foresight to give another what he/she needs. I think your idea of a cruise for you is wonderful. Not a cruise for all of you where you would feel miserable and find yourself in the same confusing situation. That is no way to have a cruise you want to live a bit for you on one.

Show them Kelli, show yourself, that you are dynamic and that you need your own space to be you. You Go Girl!!!!!!! I almost didn't say congratulation on all your progress it's a great feeling when we can see quantitative results. Keep up that wonderful go for it attitude!

You are so right. two months ago this day would have been different. I can see my improvement and it helps me to be strong during everything happening. Just when I needed it.

i think Sue and Heather have said everything but I do hope that you can find a better answer to your needs there. My best wishes and support. 

Well my squirrel family made it inside they are building their mansions again. I have told our landlord a multitude of times but he just isn't real worried about it. The hole that allowed at east one of them in the house is covered so other than letting him know there is nothing left to do but hope that they already have most of the materials up there for their new abodes and know that at least they are warm. I think this is kinda weird of me...but I really have done my part acceptance can reduce my stress about it.

Thank you Heather I really know and feel my support here. David I'm the same as you I get anxiety from things just like that. My husband would tell you he never has anxiety and he always "got this". So from a small distance I try to be his buffer. Maybe sometimes when he doesn't even know it. Adrian is feeling lots better just tired. The doctor said he may have run into a virus even. He drew blood and took him off of his blood pressure meds right now cause his reeadings are just right without them.