HostTracy

I have been following the dreadful news of the terrible flooding there. I am so thankful you are perched on higher ground and pray that all continues safely. Many prayers for everyone displaced by the ravages around them now. 

I know you are helping many cute furry kittens. Wow, they are so lucky to have generous hands working hard to cuddle them. I am delighted at the thought of it and the picture shows how warm and cuddly the mats are (well I think I saw a Pic yesterday 😊).

Good to hear you will have visitors soon. During this time of covid, family, friends and visitors are so essential and such a blessing.

Sounds like you are enjoying the beautiful sights and sounds around you. That normality you speak of is music to my ears and I hope you are blessed with as much of it as possible. I truly enjoy reading your updates and may you have many happy updates to share in the future. Thank you Sue. 😊

Sue, this is why I love it here. Your message is perfect and means a lot to me. Hugs right back to you my friend. 

Asha you are a gem and a wonderful positive support. You and I have talked about this very same thing, but I hope you don't feel any part of my blog is directed to you or anyone in particular for that matter. I really just needed to get some weight off of my mind and it did the trick. 🙂 Writing my emotions has been a positive  way for me to process them and feel better inside and I am thankful for being able to write here. I feel less alone and right at home here. Thank you for reading and thank you for positive thoughts. I really do appreciate you. ❤️

Oh Janelle I am so sorry for your loss! RIP Lucy. I hope the other fur babies in your family can offer all of you some inner peace. 🙏🏼❤️

Sue I am trying to paint my spring world with lavender, blush, cool white, shades of blue and green. Trying to paint over the gray leafless trees and dormant grass. Also, again this winter I've had terrible Seasonal Affective Disorder abd sleep issues as well as chronic pain from 2 bulging c-spine discs and a shoulder issue. PT since October and about to have another MRI. I need a bit of color in my life...soft color. Little by little I'm adding snippets of color to my physical and mental world. Nature is coming right along with me... The 🌸 blooming trees are gorgeous, the grass is waking up, 🐦 birds are flying in from their winter vacation and I have a random patch of buttercups about to bloom🌷. I am a fellow philosophical at heart. Life is a journey and that journey is a rainbow... I'm still moving towards that pot of gold! This time of year just screams rebirth, renewal and full of joyful moments. You just have to look around you and take it in. ❤️

51 minutes ago, GreenQueen said:

Oooh! Bella knew all along that she had found home! She obviously needed to convince you...bet that wasn't hard!!

 

Any updates on surgeries?

 

Love you, my gorgeous friend!

💜💜💜😉😘

💚👑

Janelle... I have missed you my friend. 😊 Surgery updates: I did have Varicose Vein therapy. Actually, I'm still seeing changes. I have found out that it takes a while for the discolorations and knotty feelings to dissipate but 75% of my skin looks so much better! I'm not sure if my legs have more stamina lol I sorta have an all over fatigue most of the time. The weight loss surgery hasn't happened... Yet. I was actually not approved by my current hospital due to my risk assessment. I have found another Dr. in Nashville with way better ratings who does more involved surgery (or more at risk surgery) and my plan is to make an consultation appointment sometime soon! 🙂

On 3/4/2021 at 1:17 AM, heathber said:

Nice to know you are all getting along, and Bella got to stay. Welcome to the crazy cat lady society

Ha ha Heather-I think it is official! Thank you for the welcome! I always knew I was a crazy cat lady... I just needed to embrace it. 🐱

We are all still adjusting (Kitty, Bella and I). Bella is lighting a fire under us older warm bodies (myself and Kitty) lol. She is, for some reason, obsessed with my A/C vents and has learned how to get it out of its hole in the floor. 🤨 Needless to say, I keep a water "don't do that" water spray bottle nearby. It's sort of tough though, since every room has at least one vent. 🤬 Or maybe it is vents in general... She likes to play behind my washer and dryer and this past week and ripped my dryer vent in half. So... Yes, Bella is a special addition to our family. Kitty and I sometimes just look at each other like "What the heck is wrong with her!". 😕 We ❤️ her though! Oh and Kitty has a new nickname... Bubby! I found myself calling them both kitty and so they both came lol. 

Janelle, Bella is now part of my family ---> me, Kitty and Bella. Kitty loves her!

This entire thread resinates with me! Before my ex did a very not nice thing (a year after my stroke) and I left him and pursued my disability and my life... I had never lived alone. Seriously never. I was always the budget maker etc. Now my budget making skills are lacking a lot due to executive function defecits from the stoke. In other words I suck at it. Once I did get my disability. I had to utilize every bit of help I could find and now I live in my own home (OK one side of a duplex but it's my home). I am responsible for 100% of my bills, needs, wants, desires, etc. With just SSDI it is not a lot. I pretty much survive by not allowing anything beyond necessary. Ya'll it freaking lonely and depressing... But I feel so happy being on my own I don't think I want to share me with anyone at least not now. I still battle over what is a need, a want, etc. I mean I really feel like my monthly visit to Dollar Tree is a need for craft supplies. OK maybe a sanity need but doesn't that count. I digress, I find my budget never fits what I perceive as my needs and I have to make constant decisions to forego my sanity fund (lol). I can only imagine Kelli and I feel I can so understand your delemna. My family is constantly telling me I have start supplementing my SSDI and I don't feel like I can get out there and do it yet and my Dr. says he does not OK me "working" in any general sense of the word. But my reality is what it is and I know things will have to change eventually for me to survive. The whole thing is a anxiety ridden struggle. I certainly have never been in my current situation before. Each new day is 100% new. My brains ability to even process it is questionable. The struggle is real. I'm here for a whine hearing if ever needed lol I probably will hope for reciprocation. In all cases all of you have my ❤️. 

So many blessings Sue! So happy for you and thank you for sharing!

Kev Happy New Year  and many blessings to go with it. I hope you get a chance to make it to Paris sooner rather than later! Learning a new language has been sort of my thing this past year though I am far from good lol. Gaelic (a dying language but my Maiden Name is Gaelic) and brushing up on my Spanish (ok so really starting fresh because lol I dont remember anything). I've been using a free app called DuoLingo. Good luck with the French!!!

Kevin, I love reading your updates! You are so inspirational! 🙂

Heather... Yes ma'am! I also think it is a wonderful idea to wear a face shield and having a Dr. note. I have read that a face shield is great for barrier protection. Sue, I'm sweating just listening to your coming summer! 😥 That one thing (breathing while wearing a mask) has been the absolute most difficult for me. I can even get dizzy. As much as I can I avoid it. So I try to make a really good need list together before I go out on an adventure so I can get everything fir a while in one go. Good luck to you! You might consider the face shield idea (even if you alternate to catch your breath). 

6 hours ago, ksmith said:

Sue, I tell folks I'm glad to wear a mask for no one can see me talking under my breath. lol 

HA HA Kelli and Sue I just told Hailey today wearing my mask is a good way for me to feel a bit better about allowing myself out while corona lazy. No one can really tell who it is lol. So hair in a super messy bun or needing a wash, no make-up, really laid back comfy clothes I might normally save for inside. It's possible it is a false sense of security but it works for me! Now, my glasses fogging and the literal sauna going on in there is 100% a downfall. I make quick trips and have been known to remove my mask for a few minutes because I feel like I can't breath (I think it's my asthma....asthma and humidity don't mix). Sometimes I just have to leave and go home. All in all it is probably keeping me from being around others even more. I say win - win!!!! 

Thank you guys. I'm intent on making the right choice for baby Bella. I been way more heart broken before and I survived! Besides Kitty and I are 2 peas in a pod... We like to cuddle, we like to nap, and we like the quiet life. I'm missing her snuggles... Bella has sort of decided my chair and in my lap are her go to places and Kitty will start to come sit with me and then she sees the kitten and turns back around! 😢

Asha I certainly have been in those moments where I'm stuck in a hole. Truth is it does feel yucky. I have over time learned to be kinder to myself and allow myself to be human and make mistakes without getting angry with myself. I realized that we all have our ups and downs and trust me I screw up! A lot! I'm not perfect at it but I know it helps me like myself a lot more (and probably others like me better too haha). It's so true... Tomorrow is a new fresh day. Look to your God for comfort (he is a merciful God) and apologize to someone who may have been in "the line of fire". It will help your heart heal and grow. Huggs Asha we are here for you. 😘

On 8/20/2020 at 2:35 AM, GreenQueen said:

Tracy you go girl!!

 

I'm so thrilled for your surgeries! When we feel good about ourselves a lot of other things fall into place!

 

Two kitty cats to love! Nothing could be better!

 

BTW: you aren't "trying " your best, you are "doing" your best!!

 

Love you!

 

💚👑

Janelle you always put a smile on my face... Thank you! I'm excited even if a bit unsure. I hope that things falling into place holds true... I will make the best of it no matter! 

Baby Bella is so sweet. I'm pretty sure I have decided to let her be adopted. I have spoken to a really nice lady from our local shelter. She reassured me Bella would be safe. They spay/neuter, give all shots, give full health care, micro chip each dog or cat (if ever lost and found you can find the pets owner this way)... Then she will be out for adoption. As I sit here writing this my heart still tugs. I'm not sure either decision will be perfect for my heart. I love her little fiesty soul and I also see her needing a family that can keep up with her busy body! She ate 3 of my baby succulents this morning! Well chewed them to death and they were I thought out of her reach. Sigh... I'm still not sure! 😕 Love you! ❤️

On 8/20/2020 at 8:51 PM, HostAsha said:

Tracy :

 

thanks for updating I am so glad you are enjoying & loving your new routine, loving your arts & crafts, your kitties & trying your best in getting your sleep pattern streamlined, I am sorry sometimes  I am critical  & complain about not showing up on time at the appointment, since it is hard for me to understand that part as brain damage & not laziness. I am glad you take my comments in the right spirit without getting offended about it.

Asha

Thank you Asha. 🙂 It's OK. I know 100% you have your heart in the right place. I get frustrated all the time and I chose to let that go and feel peace in my heart too. Otherwise I'd be a lot less happy and way more negative. Trust me I don't say that toward you at all... It's been 5 years and well I've learned to be OK with me even when others can't "get" the invisible stuff. I'm glad you and some others don't deal with that! We are all different and we have all had struggles. None of us have gotten to where we are the easy way... It's just different. Thank you for being you and for not completely giving up on me. 🙂 I try new things to help improve me and hopefully not all will be fails. If anything, I am stubborn so I'm in it for the long run! 🏃‍♀️

🤗 OH my goodness even German chit chat is giving me the feels! I am using Duolingo to try and learn Gaelic (a dying language but my maiden name is supposedly Gaelic so why not!). Sue the time we've spent in chat has just been completely a pleasure! I am so so happy you are climbing up the rabbit hole...its a tough climb but the view is breathtaking. Your artistic abilities have just blossomed over the past months and I have truly enjoyed your work! You have been and are such a positive influence for me. It was you that inspired me to pick up my paintbrush again after 30 years of not picking one up. I'm slow going but I've decided to really enjoy the process and take away any pressure. Your words remind me of my own thoughts and realizations after my stroke. I saw life with a whole new appreciation...the colors, the breeze, birds chirping, the smells, flowers, wind rustling through the trees. It was as though time slowed down and literally I could smell the roses. I have felt a kindred spirit with you in so many ways! I am blessed to call you friend! ❤️

3 hours ago, heathber said:

Sounds like you are on top of life right now. Best of luck with surgery plans and vein treatment.

 

Thank you Heather! I am trying my very best! 

Kelli I love that avatar!! You are right! Hot, humid and heck no! I'm not sure if that is humerus or not. 😅 I tried. 

Willis (or Bill) 😁 thank you we are kindred spirits! I call that a blessing! 

6 minutes ago, Willis said:

That hoop garden is of particular interest to me, I have a new unused dog pen 😢 next to my garage. I haven't measured it yet but 3 side have an 8' cyclone fence. The plan is to turn this approximatley 20'x 10' space into a Michigan greenhouse for us. I believe I can use 3/4 PVC pipe and make a removable hoop cover. We will see. 

That sounds fabulous! 😀 It will be a labor of love! 

What a BOUNTY!!! Kevin you have a wonderful attitude about life and it can only serve you well. 🙂 Attitude will take you much further than all those medical expectations ever could. It's a good feeling to be a part of your recovery process. 

7 minutes ago, Willis said:

I was disappointed, not in staying alone at my cabin but in the family and their attitude.

I very much relate. Thankfully not all but a small few have or at one time have judged me this way. All I can say is that I have learned the true value of inner peace and sometimes that does not involve other's opinions. My best lesson has been that I don't have to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE. I can still love the fools. I can close my eyes and imagine the serenity of your woodland getaway. I have nothing but happy feelings in my heart. Now this is what I seek!