HostTracy

Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! 🙂 http://www.strokechat.net/ See you soon!

Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! 🙂 http://www.strokechat.net/ See you soon!

Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! 🙂 http://www.strokechat.net/ See you soon!

Again, at least we are in good company! Not that I want anyone to have any crazy in them... I do feel less alone. 🙂

Will I am glad to be in good company! Your post reminds me of my Bella (my other kitty) who really enjoys to to touch my feet when i am in my recliner with her cold nose ever so gently...pretty much any time she comes near (It absolutely drives me insane!) LOL

Yes it is!! Thankfully, I did get settled down and slept for a bit. I had my therapy today (good timing) and then my PT this afternoon. My anxiety is much calmer now and I hope my brain wants to sleep early tonight (crossing my fingers).

So true Heather. I am happy that my daughter and I can come with a comical little skit just for our enjoyment (never want to take away the seriousness but you are right we have to laugh at times it is great medicine). I understand about the vaccine stuff. I think it is a little less of an issue here since we above the equater will get flu vacs usually Sept and Oct so still some time for more covid vacs. There is still the issue of some that just refuse to get it (I think they probably stear clear of the flu one too). I'm just going to do my part and hope my little bit helps the world to reach the needed % for greatest effect... I dont even try to think I can control anyone else's decision (one less crumb for me to clean up). I am happy you found the much needed humor from my post and I hope you feel better soon! Take care of yourself...do all the things: drink plenty of fluids, get rest, chicken noodle soup and a good book or movie! 🙂

Janelle I just realized you have added something I said as a quote to each of your posts. That just warms my heart. 💗 I'm glad you enjoy enough to share my thought. ((Hugs))

That is very interesting Heather. I will have to look that book up! Deigh I am often questioning my own senses i.e. smell. I can promise you that when I walk into my stepmoms Den I smell moth balls. She is adament that there are none. I however can smell them every time. Wow, thinking about it this kind of thing happens all the time. I suppose I don't think about how much. One register where my air comes out smells odd to me every time it blows. I catch myself removing it and looking down into the duct or around the area on the floor just to find nothing. No one else smells it except me. I have tried hard to have others check it out when I smell the smell. They all look at me and say "I don't smell anything.". 🤦‍♀️

Heather I am filled with that same knowledge and determination. My Psychiatrist says 100% I will not be able to work in the regular workforce again. I know he will do his part and make it clear. Never sounds so permanent but for me and my ability to control my anxiety (which could lead to another stroke) it is important. There are things I want to be able to do to supplement my disability income and my therapist and myself work on this topic. I have no idea why i feel i have to explain myself. The thought of going back into the work force terrifies me. I can feel my chest get heavy just thinking about it. I need to try to go back to sleep lol and not look at the computer right now. (Anxiety has been crazy today and my sleep well tonight has been mostly waking back up.) ((Hugs)) back to you Heather.

Ha ha Kelli you and me both! The other day at PT I bent down to tie my shoe and as I came up my body kept going I almost did a back bend which would have ended with a splat on the floor. Thankfully my PT was close by and he reached out and said "Just where are you going?" . Needless to say sitting in a chair for a few was amust. I am so thankful I have had many stumbles that didn't end in a fall but one could take me as befuttled, boozed up, canned, feeling no pain, flying, hammered, lit up, Mel Gibsoned, plastered, polluted, sauced, shnockered, sloshed, tanked, three sheets to the wind, wankered and all the other endearing terms!

This may sound not humerous but it reminds me of a conversation my daughter and I had today. You know this (this covid thing) is going to be in our history books. Students are going to read "In the 20's (being 2000's...2020...2021...etc) people wore masks and stayed 6 feet apart, they enclosed their cashiers in plexiglass, everyone ordered their groceries and had them delivered to their porch, there were direction stickers on the floor of the isles to remind everyone which way to move in order to maintain social distancing, Seattle was otherworldly and seemed armageddon was certain, chaos was abound, there was maniacal rioting, there were many peace movements that were happening...Black Lives Matter (yes they do!)... Mask protests... Angry temporary insanity among those that wore a mask and those that felt wearing them was oppressing, the Me Too Movement was booming (I agree), there was political unrest (one candidate was ostrisized for being over the top and considered a know it all) and the other was ostrisized for being too little of a strong force (weak), asleep (possibly dementia), possibly stricken with a form of aphasia at moments. All the news channels picked a side and reported how the candidate or President (then and now) is destroying the future. There were many conspiracy theories about nanobots in vaccines, conspiracies about how the world was becoming brainwashed or that everyone was being implanted with spyware or tracking devices. In the 20's it was illegal to breathe on our neighbor so we stayed inside for a year. We went on and on...we got a good giggle out of that. Mom always said find the good in everything and humor is one of the best. Now I'm thinking how did this post remind me of that skit my daughter and I did together. Well, I hope someone else finds the humor in my post amongst all the seriousness of reality. We are all in this together and I am glad to be in this with all of you!

I wish I had good advice for this question. Balance for me is an every day issue due to where in my brain the stroke was (cerebellum). I could tell you some doozies of falling stories. Many of which I can look back now and see the humor in them because i didn't get hurt (except for my pride and anxiety) that were anything but funny when it happened. I took a lot of PT for balance. Months. I suppose some things I can think of is clear your space/path in your home and remove any tripping hazards i.e. area rugs, floor decor, cat toys (or any toys ), just stuff that might jump out at you. Get up slowly and use things you can grab to help balance once upright (a cane, a table, the chair arm, the wall, etc). When you feel out of balance try to focus on something not moving. Take plenty of breaks (sit down, breathe deep, snuggle in a tight blanket or those weighted blankets). Make sure you have plenty of light (dim lights or sunrise or sundown can bring on the dizzies). I have to visually look at the path my feet are taking because just a pebble can knock me down. So I do look ahead for a bit while standing still but watch my path as I walk. One thing that helped me in PT was learning how to maneuver my body to catch myself (my body just didn't naturally do this after my stroke... when i was going down I was going down hard no brakes). The farther away from the stroke the more likely your balance will improve most of the time. I wish you the very best and be careful. 🙂

I was just remembering today that this December will be my 3rd year mark for disability and i'll have to a reassessment process. This makes my anxiety go way up just thinking about it. Yep they make it as hard as they can here. I ruminate that I will lose my disability and it will be a domino that topples all i have over. My worry about it is ridiculous (but after my 3 years of trying to win my case...yep i'm freaked out by it). Ok moving on to another topic the inner Tracy is freaking out!

Oh wow! YES YES YES!!!!! I have overstimulated senses...all of them. Like I smell smells that no one else smells. A lot. Also, good smells like air freshener things for your car (I always used to like them) usually seem soooooo over smelly that i have to take it out. I just gave Hailey a whole package of like 10 because I couldn't take the smell. My Doctor and I have agreed that neither of us is sure that i smell an actual smell some times or if it is a hallucination.🥴 (I sometimes do get hallucinations) My hearing kinda is crazy too and I bet lots of others probably experience this too. I have a seriously strong startle reflex and just the smallest unexpected sound or thing can scare the crap out of me and i have a very physical reaction. Also, if there are lots of people talking I have trouble processing and I am very overwhelmed. Or a loud agitating sound to me (like a loud boom boom car, kids screaming, fireworks (so many others))... can bring on a lot of anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. Vision well that is a lot (lights, patterns, flashes, car lights, street lights, I could swear I see my Kitty everywhere but he isn't there, movement, moving in a car as a passenger... and tons more). My taste has changed a lot... there are several things i used to love but i am so turned off by them now. Touch... this is funny now but when i was watching my sisters preteens they wanted to make slime. I took the dollar store and we got everything we needed to make slime. They knew exactly how to make it. Ok... this hits me in 2 ways 1st: the actual look of it especially when it is being pulled apart makes me gag (seriously gag) and then i touched it (gag, gag, gag, gag) I had to go away and let my stepmom watch them or i was going to throw up lol. I don't know if i talked about all senses but yeah haha i totally get it.

I'll have to bookmark it somehow so i can find it whenever I want!

I'm so glad my explanation for myself resonated with you guys! Today is one of those days for me....struggled all day long to keep my focus and mind together. My daughter has been here with me and we even got out to dinner but i have been on a tight rope all day and swaying back in forth between totally losing it and panic attack to keeping it together. I am glad this doesn't upset my daughter...she has been telling me all day "You are ok. Breathe." I needed her support today. When we finally came home I've never been so relieved and i blew out a sigh of relief. My safe spot. I came back to reread my post because Asha said she really liked it during chat (doesn't surprise me that I didn't remember what I wrote). It made me smile too!

Kelli I love your post. I'm sorry about your blowout but I feel things like this has happened to me at moments. I am or was the most patient laid back person but at times I find myself filling with anxiety, frustration, anger, a potty mouth 😒 for lack of a better word and easily pushed past the point of no return. 😳 Those moments can be/have been so daunting and usually end with a battered Tracy crying and stuttering. I can honestly say that though I am not thrilled with many of the things I deal with I am happy and best of all I love me. You amaze me all the time! Just know I am cheering you on all the time. Acceptance... To me is a peaceful transition. I'm not 100% but I know when I wake up each morning (or afternoon) that I reaffirm this word acceptance. I think it is important how one evaluates the meaning of this word too. I certainly have met many survivors with a not so positive feeling about "acceptance". For me... When I felt this for the first time (I've teeter tottered many times) I felt such a sense of inner peace and lightness. I was ready to start allowing myself to enjoy life instead of waiting for "when I am better". It doesn't mean giving up at all for me. In fact, my acceptance changes and grows as time passes. Am I always there? I can without hesitation say no. But when I am... Life is so much more for me. It allows me to know I am enough today... To love me today. That by no means says I give up or do not try to improve. It does say that for today... Tracy you are enough! To all of you... Today you are enough! Enjoy every moment, dream, aspire, reach for new goals... Every day you are enough! I'm close to 6 years post stroke and trust me I haven't always felt like this and I still struggle from time to time. It's a process and it takes time and it morphs. I am so happy that I can remind myself even on a "bad" day that I am enough and I love me. I have a feeling I will be a work in progress for a long time to come. I feel like now I can breathe easier, feel joy and hope, and look forward instead of always looking back. Thank you for sharing this uplifting post... ❤️

So happy to hear about your support system. I am so sure you both are getting something positive. It sounds like fun... I would love to have someone around to enjoy things with and you deserve all the help you need Heather. 🙂

Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! 🙂 http://www.strokechat.net/ See you soon!