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Countdown To Christmas!



Stroke Survivor - female
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About tmciriani
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    Chief Mentor
  • Birthday 12/02/1971
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  1. tmciriani

    Janelle that truth would bother me more if my stroke had not made me the epitome of anti social. I'm cool as a cucumber when my words shoo another off. It's no problem for me. I think it's weird. I'm weird. I used to be right in the middle of the crowd. I wanted to meet everyone and wanted to be liked and involved. I would volunteer excitedly in a room of others...like in a seminar. I was a bit of a leader. I could coach a group in a team effort. Very social...I knew everyone around me. I never wanted to be alone...I was in my comfort zone in a group of people. I never wanted to be the center of attention. I just needed to lead and inspire others. I'm in my room more than I am any other place now and if I only see Kitty all day I'm good. Weird huh.
  2. tmciriani

    Oh I know it scares people off. They don't know what to say, don't know how to approach the subject, instantly feel unrelatable, truly don't understand what a stroke is or what it does. It's a huge thing. I'm the elephant in the room. I just get it over with lol. I'm much better talking at people than with people. I'm sure to get tongue tied when caught off guard with a question. Janelle I think I was a bit different when I lived with Adrian. Ok so he was a poopy head, but he cushioned responses around me. I felt like I had a wing to crawl under if I needed to and the hen would peck anyone who got too close. It was a bit of a safety net.
  3. tmciriani

    BTW these overstimulation of senses IS from the stroke. Other words in this same group: Sensory overload, emotional lability, pseudobulbar affect, sensory flooding. Usually much worse in the beginning and for most gets better with time...some more than others. LOL I on the other hand am lucky! Count all of those terms in my daily life. Full PBA diagnosis which has changed here and there but not better. Trying the only FDA approved drug Nuedexta. Smell and other senses can be naturally heightened as well. I will pray yours get better 🙂.
  4. tmciriani

    😂Oh Tarina, welcome to the whatchamathingy world. I'm not laughing at you but hopefully with you! That is tormentingly frustrating! Look up anomic aphasia. Janelle you better believe I have been through the plethora of stinkers! I have very much encountered the "uh ummm" moments with my Neuro. It doesn't help that I have a hugely rare stroke (bilateral cerebellar in the PICA region...both massive...have a syndrome from it that a lot of doctors haven't even heard of)...only -1% of all strokes. My Neuro kept me alive sort of (not diagnosed correctly for almost 2 months) and ensures that after doing every test in the book that I am lowering the manageable risks of a second. Otherwise, I depend on my Psychiatrist (it is just a lucky process I have to do because of my stroke and deficits...it literally is 85% in my brain...about 15% my body now). He has researched since the day I arrived. Realises that my deficits are unusual and need different help. After speaking to me for an hour he said "I am sure you know more about the brain than I do". I'm an enigma...fascinating for him...he is definitely a brain geek lol. He has supported me, helped me, believed in me, and truly worked very hard to help me find answers. To me he is a Saint. My Neuro was surprised when I told her who I see. She told me to never stop seeing him...he is the best she knows of and even contacted him herself to discuss my history the last time I went. I can honestly say out of all my doctors I have 0 reason to question his course of action. <---- blessed.
  5. tmciriani

    Tarina man I have I been in your place at moments. My stroke was ridiculously debilitating for the first 6 months and I barely have any memories of it. Once I started getting my faculties back, mentally I was mad. I wholly remember the before me. Unfortunately, stroke is not like other organic illnesses. Time is your friend even when you hate her. It WILL take time and there is no avoiding that. Your stroke is very young. I think it was between 10 and 12 months before I saw a neuro optometrist. There is one factor I think of though. A neuro optometrist can assess your deficits, assess your projected future improvement, and many times assess whether there is permanent damage or are there therapies for the eyes that can help with improvement on the same basis of neuroplasticity. I will say that some things will change with general neuroplasticity and the eyes may need to be given more time to make such assessments. I'm not sure. If your Neuro is just considering correction of vision and not neuroplasticity from eye therapy then I feel you need a second opinion. I can't stress how important time is after stroke. I say keep having the drive but never forget that time is a factor. It will be work... perseverance...hard...not over night...and there will be some that only time will make the difference. Trust me I know that is tough to hear. Don't put too many or too overly optimistic expectations on yourself. Start learning your limits for today. It's the 1st step to acceptance and a limit doesn't have to be unchangeable. Don't be so hard on yourself...and know you have a whole bunch of supporters.
  6. tmciriani

    Tarina I really understand...it sucks but it is something (fatigue) all too common after stroke. It's different than not getting enough rest. It shuts your brain down. 😥 Neurofatigue is your brain saying slow down and it's weird but it can completely disrupt your life. I know most people say "I don't have time for this fatigue.". I promise you your brain won't let you just ignore it. I wish we could. Today I had one of those days for me. I was just approved for disability with a little SSI. So I am on Medicaid/Tenncare until Medicare starts. Anyways, Medicaid is really hard to figure out and I realized today Medicare is even harder especially when you have a slew of meds. My mom was insisting I get a certain answer for her and well I ended up in a panic attack just trying. That took all my spoons for the day (spoon theory). Some days I can accomplish many of my plans some days I can accomplish 0. I hate this. I'm sorry for your rough day...I hope you are feeling better and tomorrow will be another day. Rest, sleep, keep away from stress, take it easy the next day. Over time you will be able to recognize better which things zap you more. You'll learn more which things are doable within an amount of time or period and you'll better gauge how each day may affect you different. You can plan better, ask for help when needed, and can anticipate fatigue better. Try not to ignore it. It usually does not get better on it's on if you do. Your brain is working harder than it used to doing the same things. That fatigue is your body giving you heads up. For many survivors Tarina this fatigue gets a lot better and even if it shows up sometimes you can have more control in the situation. I wish you the best...vent/share whenever you need. Happy Holidays. 🙂
  7. tmciriani

    Tarina I agree. I don't want to pretend, or hide, or leave out...I just want to be accepted as me. I am not going to be anyone different so I feel it's a wasted opportunity...leaving out the truth...making an initial impression. I am ok knowing and being me are you? There is no hiding from that truth. It scares others away but I am ok with where I am...I need someone who can see past my stroke. I don't think love can be possible without that. It doesn't scare me. I don't scare me. I'm not interested in someone I do scare.
  8. tmciriani

    You are most welcome!
  9. tmciriani

    Nope she can not. Neither does anyone else...but it is there. I have terrible fears of inhaling toxic fumes from it...it is considered a pesticide. It is weird Janelle...I was a preschool teacher for years and I have made my own play dough, slime and any other tactile goop good for manipulation. Yet slime today is a gagging factor. My niece wanted me to touch it!!! I turned green and went inside! 😂
  10. tmciriani

    Amen and amen!!! The one good thing about Nuedexta that I take for my PBA (still working on therapeutic dose [90 days]) is that I can tune out others easier like putting a box around my head. I am in a different place right now after stroke. I feel very strongly one way or another when I get similar responses you speak of. Unfortunately, that leads me to being very vocal on said point. Blunt, exacting, and we'll say less than giving AF. My apologies. The happy on another planet box on the head thing works sometimes.
  11. tmciriani

    Neurofatigue is the most common ongoing symptom I have heard after a stroke. It's real and can knock you for a loop. Unfortunately, it can stay in that loop for longer than you expect. The brain is working extra hard to get all it's signals to the right place and having to take detours or a bypass. This is taxing on a brain and it seems to come on pretty quickly like hitting a brick wall. My best advice is listen do not ignore. Your body will tell you "You need to rest your brain!!!". I hope your company can be understanding and allow you room to build up tolerance over time. Slow and steady wins the race. You also can chance having a setback if you don't listen to your body. Sending you good vibes and tons of good hope and awareness. Stay positive. 🙂
  12. tmciriani

    I am really happy you have been exploring and dating! I was going to say that my stroke group is a great place to meet and get to know another without as much pressure. Thankfully, my group is a good mixture of ages. I also have entertained the thought of dating in the recent year. I am weird...it's like the 5th thing out of my mouth "Oh yeah I had a stroke. 😀". So far this has not been a positive approach but I'm not sure what would be...I'm a straight up kind of girl. Either I am more than my stroke or not...their choice. I am completely ok with being single right now. Trust me I'm only 47...I'm not dead yet lol. I suppose I am past the dating game. I'm not sure what that means for my future in the dating world. Eh...I'm in no hurry I'm waiting for love to find me. 😁
  13. tmciriani

    Pretty in Pink!!! 🤘 SLAY!!!
  14. tmciriani

    I wouldn't mind and probably would enjoy but I need to upgrade my pc. My phone doesn't work properly with the chat system and my stepmom's computer is a dinosaur. I am hoping to get a new one soon so I will let you know when I do.
  15. tmciriani

    Nicole I can relate so much. BTW we are all adults I think but it's possible that this may have tmi for guys. Possible. When I had my stroke it was 2 weeks after I found out I was severely anemic from having my cycle non stop for like 3 months. Not only that we are talking about the "Katrina" of cycles. I had a hematocrit of 23 and my hemoglobin was like 7.3. Just getting up to pee was a challenge. My doctor put me on Prednisone (safer for a 40 something woman who smokes) for 2 weeks to stop my period. The day after my last pill I had the stroke...it is still on my list of possible answers even though my doctors say the chance is minute at most. Anyway, I had my stroke and started my cycle again. I was bleeding to death, literally. I ended up having 4 infusions of iron to get my labs up and to restore my iron stores. It took about 11 months for my hematologist to be absent from work and I had a female doctor fill in. She recommended that I go to my obgyn and find out why...it was still uncontrollable and I was only skating the edge of ok and anemic the whole time. I know my head was not thinking right at all but for the life of me I don't know why I didn't come to this decision way before then. I was seen and tested (pap), it came back with concerns. I had a colposcopy and endometrial biopsy which came back with simple hyperplasia with no atypical. I had a D&C and biopsied again which came back as complicated hyperplasia with atypia (pre-cancer of the uterus). I had a hysterectomy of everything except my ovaries. Biopsy again of all removed tissue and thank the good Lord it was contained. Needless to say I felt the wrath of the universe during this time. I am sending prayers up that all your testing gives you peace of mind and/or a direction to it. Hang in there.