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Countdown To Christmas!


Stroke Survivor - female
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About tmciriani

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    Chief Mentor
  • Birthday 12/02/1971

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  • Stroke Network Email

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
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  1. PaulNash you have officially made my day or more. That was a picture from about 2 1/2 years ago now that's a compliment. Thank you friend.
  2. I thought this would pass along some humor. Seems that at least since my stroke I have claimed to be one year older than I am. Today is my Birthday and I am 45! In my planner it says "My Birthday 46". My mom recently corrected my math error. The bad thing is that I think I was already off before the stroke because I could have sworn I was 43 when it happened but I was actually 42. Hope this brings a giggle.
  3. Hi all my friends and new people who have joined. It's been a long while since I messaged here and a lot has changed. Just been a bit down lately worrying about my disability case and my daughter and just a bit blah.. I got my 2nd denial letter for disability last month and am now waiting for a hearing which my lawyer told me today may take 12-14 months. I am now almost 2years out from beginning the application and I just get tired of thinking about it. My daughter has had a reoccurance of her anxiety with panic attacks since starting her new job. She hasn't had a panic attack since she was 16 and now at 21 she is having them each week and missing work and worrying about her job. YTou know how us moms worry about our children. I feel so helpless to do anything for her but I can be a good ear and encourage her. I have missed speaking with everyone and hopefully i will get this blah feeling past me soon and get back more often. I hope all of you are doing well! Thank you all. Tracy
  4. Hi Darin, I'm glad you decided to talk about what has happened. Feeling alone or misunderstood is so hard. I can promise you that the good majority of the others here have felt that at one time or another. BTW you are a survivor...a stroke is a stroke is a stroke. Stroke's don't always have such a positive ending and I am glad yours has been the opposite. Stroke fatigue is very real and a huge part of what I have and still do struggle with. This site is a great place for information, message boards, chat, blogs, and generally great support. Welcome.
  5. From the Frying Pan to the Stove

    It's been a while since I've written a blog and been really active on the site. First of all I miss those of you I know here but I have been sort of recovering and regrouping after leaving Adrian and moving back into my Dad's house. There has been a lot of positive...my anxiety has been less, I have my own transportation, I am still waiting for the second round of disability decisions, I am close to family, my daughter is doing wonderful and is so good to me sending me $50 every other week to help me, I've been making my own choices, I even have my sleep so much better now getting to bed between 8:30 and 10. So many good things. Something has happened though 4 different times which I need to get off my chest. My Dad and I get along most of the time but he is a huge trigger at times and can evoke a pretty big anxiety attack in me at times. Once because he told me not to put my hair up in a pony tail anymore that my step mom had cut my hair and "the pony tail looked like *beep*". It was an immediate trigger and I couldn't stop the attack. I finally got to my room took my anxiety medication and finally fell asleep. A second time was him telling me "If that guy called right now I bet you would go back to him because you are stupid.". He wouldn't stop even when I begged him. I ended up half blindly driving to where my step mom is staying at my Grandmother's so I could calm down. Both of the other 2 times have been about my weight. I have gained 50 pounds since my stroke. I joined a gym a week ago so I can be healthier which hopefully will help my weight as well. He has called me fat, told me I don't care about how I look, told me he wouldn't leave me alone, to go ahead and cry until I can't cry anymore because he doesn't care, more times that I am stupid. I can't stay at the house when he gets like that because he won't stop and the anxiety attack just gets worse and worse. Each time I have gone to my Grandmother's...each time right in the middle of a pretty severe anxiety attack. It's wearing on me. I find myself just silent and to myself more and more. My Psychiatrist is concerned...he made the statement "You fell from the frying pan onto the stove.". He shows more compassion and care than any Doctor I have ever had and we talk about what my future plans are and he encourages me. I just needed to get this off my chest. My hope is that in the future I will live by myself and make all my choices and be free of the hot spots. It won't be perfect but I think I would feel so much better.
  6. Hi Jan glad you found this great site. Really great people here and lots of information...Boards, Chat, Blogs, Photo Galleries and you will find very understanding people here. I understand about the aphasia and stuttering too. It's been 2 years for me and I still get stuck on words atleast trying to get the word out of my mind and then out of my mouth. I also have a lingering stutter that happens a litlle all the time. Sometimes though I am really on top of things. I can say it has gotten better and better. Join in with posts and replys and join us in group chat it's like a little social group and we talk about what we experience and how we get through it. I think of the group as my friends. Making a blog is also pretty therapeutic. Welcome!
  7. Hi Sandra many of your points hit right at home for me. I have been a survivor for 2 years and it has gotten better slowly. My anxiety has to be medicated because it is so severe without meds (Causes intense panic attacks). Thankfully depression has slowly lifted not all the way but I am so much better ythan i was.I have had severe stroke fatigue and still do if I experience stressers or anxiety, I just wanted to let you know that your story relates to myself and I am almost certain many others. Time will be your best friend...be good to yourself and rest when your body tells you. I am wishing you all the best!
  8. Oh ouch Scott!! I'm glad it wasn't worse. I very much understand the next couple of days effects after a bump or fall...and bruising ugh it can be so big and for me lasts forever it goes through a ugly rainbow of colors before it finally fades. I seem to always have bruises here or there and I don't even know what has caused them. Let's hope that the next few days will not be too bad.
  9. Fred it is great to see you again!!!!!
  10. Thanks Sandy...feeling better each week
  11. On my way to a healthier me

    Today I am officially a member of a health club!! My daughter is the best! I went into this big bright workout space and toured Planet Fitness. I go back at 1:00 today to go over what I am looking for and to make goals. I can't wait! This will give me several things. 1st and foremost working on getting healthier and with that I hope to lose the weight I have put on since the stroke and maybe even more. This is also a way for me to spend some of my day. I need so much to 'get out'. I have time everyday to work on my goals and just enjoy a new atmosphere all at the same time. I am so excited I just wanted to share!
  12. My 2 year post stroke anniversary was yesterday July 5th. So what does this mean now? It was a quiet regular kind of day. I suppose I am happy that it was. I'm not sure if I should just be thankful for a new day or look forward to something or some reason that this anniversary brings. What do you think?
  13. Kelli I am thinking of you. I hope you feel much better as soon as possible.
  14. Deigh I think I would enjoy anything you write. You have a way with words. Please do let us know when you finish it.
  15. Thank you to all of you. I don't feel quite as alone when you are all around. I'm going to try to keep positive and not rush for something. Things will start happening in my life and it can only go forward.