Jump to content


Stroke Survivor - female
  • Content count

  • Donations

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Country

    United States

About cons2g

  • Rank
    New Member
  • Birthday 06/13/1963

Contact Methods

  • Stroke Network Email

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
  • State
  • Country
    United States

Recent Profile Visitors

164 profile views
  1. I've noticed that when I walk without my cane (just around my house or sometimes in PT) I don't walk like I'm drunk - I walk like a toddler who's still learning. Fingers wide apart, hands extended from the side, wobbling back and forth like a penguin - definitely toddler time! Just wish I was as close to the ground as they are in case I fall! I agree about going out into wide open spaces. Even with my cane, things like walking across the parking lot to get to where I'm going can freak me out, and I have to keep telling myself to breathe, relax, just walk normally....if I let myself think about the possible fall I fear, I start falling, so I've had to learn to instantly block out that image and instead picture myself strong and healthy as I cross the parking lot with ease. Nobody else sees that when they look at me, but as long as I picture it, I can make my way safely across the space. I also have a fear of hustling, bustling crowds knocking me over and children doing likewise. I can't get upset - I didn't know any better before I had the stroke, how would they know? So yes, sometimes I just have to stop and focus on holding my ground until the tumult passes. If I can stop near an object that I can lightly touch, it really, really helps.
  2. I've run into this weird phenomenon the past month or so where half my doctors and physical therapists feel the need to assure me that, at just over a year since my stroke, I need to accept where I'm at and adapt to it. Baloney! I tend to stabilize at a certain point in the healing process, then all of a sudden, one day I'll "jump up" to a higher level; then my body takes a couple months or so to stabilize there, then I'll suddenly "jump up" again. My most recent "jump up" was around the first of January 2017, so I'm still in the stabilizing mode for that one. I don't know why suddenly all these "experts" have decided that I can't get any better. My PT keeps telling me that I'm only supposed to have PT for a few weeks after the stroke, and I've been at it for around 10 months now, so they're going to have to wind down my sessions and bring them to an end in the next month or so. The thing is, every time they start talking like this, I have another "jump up" that gives us more PT things to work on, so we keep going. I'm not really sure why someone's medical treatment should be based on the calendar to the point that the provider is trying to discourage the patient so the patient will agree to give up. The PT blames the insurance company, but we've long passed their deadline, and all the PT has to do is submit a request to continue by showing the progress I'm continuing to make, and the insurance approves it. I know because we've already done this three times, and the insurance company hasn't batted an eye at it. I guess I'm tired of having to stand up to the PT that has been telling me for months that I can't expect to get any better (I've had three or four "jump up" moments since she started talking to me like this). Obviously, she can see my improvement, since she comments on it and extends the insurance coverage for more sessions. I don't understand where she's coming from. Maybe it's some weird mind game she thinks will help me want to fight for the improvement just to prove her wrong :-) Sorry, I'm going on and on, but my point is that I've decided to believe the truth - I am getting better every day, and there's no reason to give up hope of that pattern continuing. I don't know where I'll finally end up, but I do know that where I'm at now (though I'm WAY better than I used to be a year ago) is not my final stopping point on the way to healing from the stroke. And that's not denial - that's a logical conclusion based on my personal history of healing. Besides, what good would it do to stop hoping? Does the world really need more depressed people? Do I really need to be one of them? Nope, the only logical conclusion here is that HOPE is the strong, healthy way to go!
  3. Hi, Tracy, I've been finding myself thinking lately that all I ever talk about with people is my stroke. I'm even getting tired of hearing it! So, being the analytical person that I am, I thought about it and realized that we tend to talk about whatever pops into our heads, which is usually something current. If all I spend my time doing is going to the doctor, going to physical therapy, trying to figure out how to handle housework and meal prep/clean-up based on accommodating all the symptoms I have, planning when I'll have time for a nap, etc., etc., then all I have to talk about is the stroke. So I've started planning lists in my head of things I can talk to people about besides the stroke. For example, I know my mom will call me every few days, so as I go through each day, I'll find myself taking note of things I can tell her when she calls, like "I finished another 3-inch block for my quilt" or "Oh my goodness, it's going to be 64 degrees here on Friday!" Of course we'll talk about my health, but that doesn't need to be the entire conversation. Another thing that helps is if I think of things I want to ask about her or other family members. So then I don't feel like the whole conversation was about me and my stroke. Plus, if a friend surprises me with a phone call, I can use the list of things I want to tell my mom to talk to my friend, too. When it comes to talking about the stroke, I have to gauge each person. Some people say, "How are you doing?" and when I say, "Oh, I'm hanging in there," they reply, "Wow, that's great! Glad you're doing so well!" and run away. I've realized that some people are uncomfortable with my not feeling 100% and they don't know how to respond to that, so they just go on auto-pilot and smile and get-the-heck-out-of-Dodge! So I'm learning to be able to sense who wants to really know what's going on in my life and who just wants to let me know they care but doesn't want to get too involved. It's all good - I don't need every single person I know to hover over me! As far as dwelling on the stroke myself, I agree with (was it Becky?) who said earlier that finding hobbies or other things to do is the best way to distract myself. Of course, they offer a new and wonderful opportunity to think about how I'm going to physically accommodate them, but once I get past that decision, I can just focus on the joy of what I'm doing. Sometimes, it's something as simple as asking myself a question about something in the world outside my house, then spending time online looking for the answer. I get to be distracted, and I get to be smarter! And it doesn't take a whole lot of my energy, especially since I can quit whenever I want. Don't know if this helps you any, but maybe it will help someone. Guess it helps me, because I have way too many thoughts in my head to be unloading all of them on my friends, and if it overwhelms you guys here, you can just skip over it, so (I hope) no harm done!
  4. Wow! I'm impressed by your reading fortitude :-) This topic sounds interesting. I don't think I would want to read the whole book, but it would be interesting to skim over some time - I might check and see if the local library here has a copy (I'm often surprised at what they carry!). Thanks for sharing!
  5. It seems to me that if I do rehab and nothing gets better, at least it's helped maintain what I have, so it's still benefitting me. On the other hand, if I stop rehab, I'll never even have a chance at getting better, and may even lose some of what I have. Even people who have never had a stroke need to exercise every day to maintain or improve their health, so why shouldn't we take advantage of the exercises that are tailor-made for us? It's like having our own personal trainer! Sure can't hurt!