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Stroke Survivor - female
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About cons2g

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    Senior Member
  • Birthday 06/13/1963

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  1. cons2g

    Janelle, I understand not wanting to change. Having an established routine is nice because you know what to expect, and the people you interact with know what you want from them. Life's just flowing along, you can go with it, things are easy. But change takes a lot of energy. You have to explain yourself as you go, and you have to adapt to other people's way of doing things, and that can be overwhelming, especially if you're feeling stresses in other areas of your life as well. It's even more difficult if the people you're dealing with don't understand what a strain these changes are placing on you, and who wants to spend more time explaining that? I am a person who likes having full-time work where I move from client to client, and with each client, I do something a little bit different. Staying at one location, doing one job all the time BORES ME TO DEATH!!! But I do not like change in my routines, especially since the stroke because I am so fatigued all the time. But I guess none of the changes so far have killed me (though one time came close!), and I have actually benefitted from many of them. Hang in there, something amazing might be headed your way, disguised as a problem! You know we are all cheering for you!!
  2. cons2g

    I always remember, if this is as good as it gets, it's still better than it was (could be worse). Thanks for sharing this reminder!
  3. cons2g

    I'll have to look for those. They sound interesting. I do have websites I use that have Spanish sitcoms just for beginners, but I'm lost most of the time, even with the English subtitles below, because it goes by so fast and I don't have the verb conjugations to understand fast enough what they're saying. Also, there are all the little nuances of word order and slipping in extra words that don't translate literally, and those seem to elude me. If only someone would just write out the rules, I would follow them! Life is so wonderful when we all just follow the rules! (says the person who makes her living as a creative musical artist).😉 Holy update, Batman! Lots of new emoticons to choose from!!
  4. cons2g

    Barnes and Noble also sells CDs if you have one nearby (or maybe some other bookstore). Also, places like WalMart and Target sell lots of CDs. Sorry, Deigh, I don't know what stores you have "down under." But if you have some sort of discount retail shops or bookstores, they may carry CDs. Also, those places I named sell CDs online, if you're okay with shopping on the internet (also Amazon, like Tracy said).
  5. cons2g

    Thanks! I should add that I kind of HAVE to make it to rehearsal, since I am the pianist and director :-) Can't just stay home 'cause of snow and ice (especially in Minnesota)! Wouldn't that be nice, though - give myself weather days! Speaking of which, my mom insisted for a while that I shouldn't be out driving around after dark (this was years before I had a stroke). I pointed out that in Minnesota, in the winter, it gets dark around 4:30 in the afternoon, and, seeing as I made my living as a musician, I kind of needed to show up for performances in the evening. She didn't care....oh, well, you gotta do what you gotta do!
  6. cons2g

    Beautiful photos - thanks for sharing! I have to say, the "archless" McD's reminds me of the one here in downtown Minneapolis - or am I thinking of a Burger King? Well, it looks like one of them! Guess I haven't been downtown for a while - livin' it up in the 'burbs :-)
  7. The "experts" keep telling me there's nothing wrong with my brain from the stroke (as far as cognitive procedures go) but I know that I often have a moment when I'm right in the middle of saying something or thinking something and every single thought in my brain goes completely silent. It's like someone just turned off the radio - there's nothing there. I can't even think, "Darn, what is that word I'm trying to remember?" because those words have all ceased for that moment, even though I'm aware of what's happening. I have to push my brain to get it going again. I'm really sure I didn't have this problem before the stroke (I think I probably would have noticed), but I've gone through all kinds of testing, and they keep telling me how smart I am and how far above average I am. I keep telling them, I know I do well on tests; that's not what I'm questioning. I may be "above average" for their expectations, but I'm functioning below average compared to my pre-stroke self. It annoys me to no end when everyone keeps telling me I'm fine. Recently, I was playing piano for this big music event, and in front of a room full of choir directors and a nationally known clinician, I couldn't find measure 13 in my music. Why? Because measure 16 was labelled, so I had to count backwards to 13. I couldn't remember what number came before 16! It took me about 5 tries to figure out where measure 13 was, while the entire room waited for me. How embarrassing was that?!? But no, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with my brain! Yeah, right....
  8. cons2g

    Deigh, I know just what you're talking about. I lean so heavily on my cane as it is that I don't think I could handle having the awkwardness of the seat attached to it (I can't even carry a bag in the same hand as my cane because it throws me completely off balance). I love the scooters - I use them when I go to the grocery store because I just don't have the stamina to walk through the store, even with a cart, then go home and put everything away. When my 14-year-old nephew was visiting here last Christmas and we all went to the grocery store, he told me, "When I grow up, I'm going to have a stroke so I can ride the scooter around the grocery store!" Yes, don't worry, he was kidding. He's a funny guy! :-) I actually inherited my dad's scooter when he passed away a couple years ago, but it just sits in the garage because there's nowhere near my house that I need to go, and I can't load it in the car to take it with me. I've just gotten real good at ordering things online! Then I don't have to fight the crowds in the stores, or worry about how far from the door I'll have to park, or will it be raining, or is the parking lot icy, or are there stair steps, or where is the thing I need once I get in the store (how far from the front door and will I go right to it or wander in circles looking for it), and all the million other things I used to take for granted. Let's hear it for UPS!
  9. cons2g

    Back when I was in my late 20's, I worked for two different temp agencies (kept me so busy that I could actually turn down some of the jobs they offered). One of my jobs was two weeks full time data entry at a collection agency that was switching all their accounts into a new computer system. This meant that every day I sat in a huge room, typing away, while all around me were bill collectors calling people about their delinquent accounts. I couldn't believe how rude they were! And when they were between phone calls, they'd laugh with their coworkers and make fun of the people they were calling (like what reasons people gave for not being able to pay their bills). I couldn't wait to get out of there. Near the end of the two weeks, the boss offered me a full-time permanent data entry position. I managed to be polite when I told him no, thank you. Augh! I understand they need to be firm when they call people, but that's not the same as being cruel or rude - not even close!
  10. cons2g

    I just have to jump in and say: I have a warm fuzzy relatable neuro! She's awesome. She actually saw me in the hospital when I first had my stroke, so she was very excited to see me in her office as one of her patients a couple months later (I didn't remember her until she told me she knew me, so I wasn't scheduling with her on purpose). At one of my appointments, something we talked about at the very end of our time made me start crying, and she sat with me for about 15 minutes, just comforting me and talking with me. Of course, she had other patients, but she didn't leave until she felt I was at a place where she could hand me off to her nurse. She is friendly, personable, has a great sense of humor - she went on maternity leave last year for a few months, and wow! Did I miss her! Her sub was serious, went down her little checklist, then sent me on my way. So glad my neuro is back :-) If you're ever in Minneapolis, I'll share her with you!
  11. Morning...hmm...that's about 3 p.m., right? Never was a morning person pre-stroke, and I'm way less one post-stroke. I wanted to join the very active local stroke support group here, but the only activity they have that starts later than 11:15 a.m. is an evening support group that meets twice a month for 90 minutes. All their classes, coffee & chat groups, field trips (photography class and others), special speakers, etc., meet between 8 a.m. and noon. Do they not understand who they're supposed to be reaching out to? How many people are not able to participate because everything is in the morning? I know I can't - and I've talked to one of the leaders about it, but she didn't seem to see it as a problem. Oh well...so glad I have you all!
  12. cons2g

    I used the binaural sounds for a while to fall asleep. They were very calming, but after a few weeks, they started to get on my nerves, so I switched to something else :-) Right now, I have a sound machine with bunches of different sounds (it even makes the sound of a crowd in a restaurant). It has white noise, but there is also brown noise and pink noise (who knew?!). As far as I can tell, they're just different frequencies, but they're a real thing - I googled them and there are all sorts of articles about them. I like the brown noise, it seems to be a little lower pitched than the other two and blends in with the fan I like to use. Sometimes I layer it with music or a quiet movie (audio only, of course), but if I wake up later and the music/movie is still running I turn it off and continue to sleep with the brown noise all night. I justify all this in the name of stroke, of course.... Actually, I think I was just as hard on myself after the stroke as anybody else. I didn't realize how intensely different my life had become because of that one moment, and I thought for sure I'd be back to work by the first of March (my stroke was Dec. 3, 2015 - I'm still not back to work, and probably won't ever be). I even put myself on a schedule to start gradually working back into my various jobs (I'm a freelance musician, self-employed contractor). Unfortunately, just as I was making a comeback at my largest job, the next week I ended up in the ER, then 3 nights under observation in the hospital, then back to the nursing home for six weeks. I'm finally learning to accept that I may not "get over" this stroke like it's a cold or a broken arm. I've had to teach myself what things are bad attitude on my part and what are actual, real stroke-caused problems. Occasionally, I still find myself discovering something that the stroke caused that hasn't just cleared up with time, and it surprises me, because I've gotten used to being the way I am "for now" and don't even realize how much I've adapted in order to keep going. Post-stroke is a weird, weird world! No wonder people around me have a hard time tracking with it - I can hardly keep up myself, and I'm the one living it every day!
  13. cons2g

    I got an email saying that SassyBetsy had written something on this page, and as I was reading what she wrote, I thought, "Wow, I can really relate to what she's saying!" So I logged in here to look at what else came previously on the page, only to realize that she was responding to something I had written back in March. No wonder I can relate! I agree about that whole standing in line thing - hate it! Just checking in at the doctor's office, I can be standing there for 10 minutes sometimes - way too long. I suggested to the people at the Pain Clinic (the front desk staff and my doctor) that they put a chair at the check-in desk (there's tons of space there, it wouldn't be in anyone's way), but apparently they think I'm kidding. Shouldn't they of all people get it? Oh, well... I have one of those walkers with the seat, but the problem is that it's like wrestling an octopus to try and get it into the car, so I never take it anywhere with me. Guess it's not doing me much good! So yes, I do what SassyBetsy does and ask the person behind me to hold my spot so I can go sit down until it's my turn. People are real nice about it.
  14. cons2g

    Love it!!
  15. cons2g

    Welcome, Superiorgirl! Hope you find what you need here! After my stroke, I decided to be positive but honest with people when they asked how I was doing, but soon realized that for most folks, it didn't matter what I said, they just responded how great it was that I was doing better. I finally decided that they weren't rude and trying to blow me off, but that they cared and just didn't know how to show it, so they wanted to celebrate the good with me and kind of bleeped over the problematic stuff because they didn't know what to say to make it better. I decided that each time someone responded to me with an inappropriate "I'm so glad you're doing better!" I would take that as them wanting me to be better because they love me. I started feeling a lot more supported when I gave people credit for feeling helpless in the face of my crisis. (Now, the people who give me the "What's your problem?" when I struggle with something? That's a different story!). Glad you could feel free to vent here. Believe me, we all take a turn or two (or 100) at that! Lisa