I had my stroke on St. Patrick's day 2016. It was the morning after surgery to replace my disintegrated hip joint with a titanium joint. All I remember from that first week was opening my eyes and seeing terrible double images, going to the scanner to scan my brain and being in bad pain from the surgery and not getting any meds yet that morning and that's it. It must have been hellish for my wife because she still won't even talk about it a year and a half later...
Well I found out last week that I need my other hip replaced now. The surgery is scheduled 12/29. Nice way to break up the holidays, eh? My wife and I had planned to go on a tropical vacation in December but that is obviously canceled. I can't go through that nightmare again. I know everyone has their experiences and it doesn't make sense or help to compare, but at one point during the first year of my recovery I found myself having a thought I could never have imagined having in my wildest dreams. Another user on this board told me that they had had the same thought after their stroke and it was helpful to hear that. The thought that I had came to me while I was home alone standing in the bathroom. My wife was at work as she is most days and I can't drive any more so I was all alone as usual. This strange thought came to me - 'Am I in hell?''
I am a big, strong guy and I can't think of anything that really rattles my cage but this has me rattled. My wife too. Thankfully the joint is not disintegrated this time hopefully that will make a big difference, but no one can even tell me why I had the stroke the first time.
If you have any helpful or encouraging things to say I will welcome reading them. Thanks.