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Stroke Survivor - male
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About edkel1

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    Associate Mentor
  • Birthday 09/24/1961

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
  • Stroke Anniversary (second stroke)
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    United States
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    Cars, Boats , Racing love going fast, working with my hands, fixing things
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  1. Chris I can speak on behalf of your husband as I too had a stroke and spent 6 weeks in the hospital and another 6 weeks in rehab, i'm that guy that could work non stop, could fix anything and did, wife did not work and life was for the most part great other than little things that pop up unexpectedly, I feel terrible, I think I let my family down, I cant work, have practicality zero stamina, i'm dizzy all the time. I will tell you it does not make me feel like the man of the house, rather if make me feel like the one that caused it all and its tough living with that, one of my daughters understand but lives 550 miles away, I don't want her to worry about me she's got her own life, the other two are tired of hearing about how I don't feel good most of the time so I just hunker down and keep to myself. As far as my wife she told me 4-5 weeks after getting out of rehab she wanted to leave and to be honest she has a new significant other in her life that happens to be her best friend another women, I can deal with most of it but the last part tears me apart and I just stay home most days. Don't give up on him, I know its hard but without you and your smile he will be broken beyond repair unless you cant take it any more or he is violent, Hang in there because you have something, your husband and I have lost our souls or what makes us who we were Strokes are nasty and ruin lives, try to work thru it Ed
  2. edkel1

    All I can say is sorry and hope you get better soon. Never give up Ed
  3. Jim Welcome and all I can say is ask questions and read and when you think you have the answer read some more, its is hard but hope this makes it a little easier. Its a long strange journey,and take is slowly. Ed
  4. Honestly I just wish people or friends would treat me like they used to, some do but most are trying to make you feel better about yourself, that your are getting better............. no i'm not and in the long run they look stupid. Personally they don't know anything about my day to day life, if I could just to do things that I took for granted I would give away everything but this is the new me Happy Happy Joy Joy Ed
  5. edkel1

    Welcome Shorty None of us ever dreamed we would become members of this club but it sure does help knowing we are not alone, ask questions no matter how silly they may seam. I have found most Dr's don't have a clue to what or how our lives have changed and as far as depression and anxiety, the only person that know's that will be you, as far as owing the hospital try and not worry about it, tell them to hold there horses and to contact your insurance. Fatigue is common and a way of your body and brain healing so when you hit that wall relax and take a nap, it does help. I still get to a point after 2.5 years and hit that wall and i'm done. Just take one day at a time and hopefully things will get better. The best advise I got was from Steve, he started this board was to apply for SSDI as soon as possible and get the ball rolling because every stroke is different and affects people differently, have your Dr's fill out the paperwork completely so there is less of a chance of you being denied. Remember read and ask lots of questions. Ed
  6. edkel1

    I found that most if not all people never get it or understand, what are lives are like now, there comments of " you sound so much better than the last time we talked" or " Looks like your getting around much easier than before " Sorry I know they want to help or be positive by saying these comments and I appreciate it but wish they would stop and treat me like they did before my stroke. I don't want nor do I ask for there pity. I just want to be Ed........that's all
  7. edkel1

    I personally have come up with a word that describes most of us survivors to a tee but I will only put myself on this list, feel free to join that list. I am a Strokaholic........................................................ All the therapy sessions, tests I have taken and being taught new way of living my life after my stroke. I have learned they never planed on healing or bring the old Ed back........................ I was being taught how to live my life with my new disability's. I will put it this way do you think an alcoholic can drink more than the rest of us because there body's can absorb it easier or does it take more for an alcoholic to get drunk than us lightweights ???????? No there body's process alcohol the same as our body's do based on body weight and physical size. The difference is they have learned to function better or hide it better just like us going to therapy and learning how to walk while still being dizzy after a stroke or living our life the best we can when one arm does not respond. Yes I am a Strokaholic and I understand this is my new life, I have memories of days gone by that the stroke has not taken from me and honestly they make the days a little more bearable while bring a tear to my eye. I hope you all understand what i'm trying to say here, make the best of life................ it only happens once and there are no time outs or do overs. Ed
  8. edkel1

    Paul I never thought about it but you are correct on the grieving and the snake oil aspects of the stroke, excepting your future and recovery. I went to PT 3 times a week, vision therapy 1 time a week and balance therapy twice a week for months, hell I did it for over a year and did it get better, honestly it did not but they all said you just need to keep at it and you will see the results. The only people that were honest through all of this were my PT therapist and my family Dr. My PT therapist said I think you have reached your limit of recovery, there is not much more I can help you with, you can continue what you have learned in your therapy sessions at home on your own, I think he was being honest. The eye Dr would test me every 3 months and would report that I am making progress but to continue my weekly session. This was nothing more than a money grab My balance therapist said to continue to come in twice a week. Again a money grab My family Dr said it best, you will continue to get better albeit very slowly but be prepared that this is the new you after the 1st year. My insurance has a high deductible so I would make the payments out of pocket till I meet my deductible so in the long run it was revenue driven for a few of them as in vision and balance therapy, not results driven for the patient.......................................... me. Sadly my personal Dr of 41 years passed away last year and that in its self is something to except, I have found my self calling his home number just to hear his voice on the message machine that's the hard thing, he was not only my Dr but my friend. Just wish I had family that understands the old Ed is gone and nothing is going to bring him back, that's my hell I live thru on a daily basis. Maybe I should start cant hurt....... but I can't that's not who I am......................... I'm disabled now Ed
  9. Paul To me Glenn sounded just like you but maybe i'm loosing it, no worries get your stuff all done. we can chat when your all done Ed
  10. edkel1

    Scott I am so sorry for you, wish I had an idea but i'm just a stupid electrician and can only help you with a light not working I personally don't understand why more stroke survivors don't turn to drinking or drugs because what we live thru is hell and most people don't have the a clue, hell a lot of the Dr's don't I'm not telling you to start but that's what kids do now a days to deal with little hick ups in life and not understanding that's life. Hope you find something. Ed
  11. No worries Paul, there is a video clip of him that sounds just like you or maybe the stroke is really taking it's toll on me Its on YouTube and its a fact checking video from Wikipedia and make sure your wife watches Ed
  12. edkel1

    I will listen to that latter tonight I can only give you an Americans view on this, my father taught me when I was 5-6 that firearms are not toys, there tools respect them and never use them in anger, it only take's a few seconds to use them but a lifetime of grief follows if used in anger. My condolences to all the effected family's
  13. Paul Yes that's is true but I like to be prepared for all kinds of situations, sometimes I wish the stroke would have taken my memory but it took my stamina and balance instead either way I'm On a lighter note did you look up Glenn Hughes yet, when we were talking that's what pops in my mind Ed
  14. Tom I totally understand your feelings after loosing your Mom and Dad. Honestly..............I don't know what to say, I'm at a loss for words, just stay away from Drug's and Alcohol, try to keep your chin up and hope things change because " A man needs to know his limitations " Talk to others that are in the same boat and maybe that might help. It sucks when you want to vent or bounce ideas off of them, that's what helps you keep your sanity, you realize there gone, you can't hear there opinions, wisdom, laugh or see there smile's and joy in there eye's. Lost My sister in 1997 due to smoking that led to cancer Lost my dad in 2000 due to two hart attacks and old age 90 Lost my mom in 2001 do to complications from diabetes That's it I don't have any cousins, aunts, uncles nobody, I have my oldest daughter 32, she lives 550 miles away and see her once a month, my other daughter is 28 and thinks of herself and her family and I understand that then there is my son 16 , he's to young to understand what has happened. He is the one I always think that I have let down. My best friend had a stroke Christmas eve, he has a big family and always tells me I'm so lucky that I don't have any family ????? To be honest I would love to have family but that's not possible, I have one out of three kids that understands and that's keep me sane but for how long ?????????????????????????????? Tom.....I hope things get better for you, message me if you ever want to chat, I found that talking helps even if it's for a short period, that's better than nothing. Ed p.s. Thanks Paul it does help