HostSueC

Today is a big day. On the 29th of this month, it has been 2 years since my stroke, and today I emailed my neurologist to ask permission to start driving again. I am ready. Not for freeways, or highways, and that's okay. Just to be able to do little errands. It's a big step for me. I have a professional instructor all lined up to assure me that I am still a safe driver. Onwards and upwards in my reclaiming my life!

Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and breathe. See? You are still breathing, you are still alive. You will find the earring when you are not looking for it. Suddenly, you will look down, and say "Ah! There it is!". We all have days where it seems that nothing goes right. Where we think and say something we wish we didn't. The best thing to do is to apologize to the person we hurt, and realize that we really are just human. Frustration leads to upset, I think that's pretty normal. Trust that your faith will carry you, not punish you. It has so far!

Oh no Kevin! I hope you heal up quickly. Please join us sometime for a chat - we miss you!

Happy Anniversary Asha! And you score big points for finding a way to do things yourself. It always feels good to learn something new and be able to accomplish things we didn't thinkwere possible. Have a lovely anniversary.

Stinkin' Hot! That's what the weather forecast is for today. We are expecting 80f 27c today. To all my friends down south and east of here, I can already hear them saying "pffftt...that's not hot!!!" We have had a late summer this year, a week ago it was only in the 60s and mid 60s, so this is a big jump. I have been getting up early now that it really IS summer, and we have sunshine. 6am, and what a beautiful time of day. The birds are singing, the world is still quiet. I do my little walkabout in the garden, snip a dead bud here and there, Daisy at my side. Today I had planned to do some major pruning, but that plan has changed. Daisy and I just finished our morning walk, and it is stinkin' hot already. We only went around our block, I don't want her to overdo it, as she doesn't do well in the heat. It's too hot to wear boots, jeans and a long sleeved shirt and get into the bushes to saw and prune. A few fence panels are being replaced between us and our neighbours, and my bushes need to be cleared back. Not today though. Today will be a day of reading, painting, and card making, all with a fan blowing on me in my studio. Getting up this early makes for a lovely afternoon siesta, to ride out the heat of the day. Ah, life is good again!

Danke!

Wow Kev! It's great to hear how much things are improving for you. And those tomatoes look amazing. So does your home, by the way.

So here I am, almost 2 years since my stroke. I can't believe how much life has changed. For the better. There is a saying that when one door closes, another door opens, and I have certainly experienced that in a big way. My stroke was August 29, 2018. And now, I have finally finished all the stages of grieving. And the stroke to me is the equivalent of going for a hike, and tripping over a root. I now not only stopped laying on the ground with dirt all around me, I have stood up and I am continuing my hike. While I was laying the ground, I had a chance to see all the life teeming around me that I wasn't aware of. In other words, I became more aware of my life, what I had, what I lost, and what I was afraid I wouldn't regain. I can't begin to say how grateful I am for this site. I don't think anything has helped me as much as being able to share my experiences with others who have gone through the same thing. The rehab centre helped, but didn't pull me out of the hole I was in mentally. Making friends with new people who really understood what life was like after stroke. That's what made all the difference. I wasn't alone in my feelings, my fears, my frustrations and grief. I learned different ways of coping. I learned the brain is amazing, that some recovery is possible. That new experiences and learning new things is really exciting. This is something I would have taken for granted before the stroke. What amazed me the most was how much my art has improved. The part of my brain that was damaged by the stroke made it impossible to pick up a paintbrush. To see with an artist's eye. To want to use colour again. Then a friend on the chat suggested I use a app to do paint by number. My brain went crazy - I was in heaven, and wanted to paint again! And I am . A lot. And it's more fun all the time. I found a website in Germany that teaches a loose style of painting, and I love it! I joined the club, bought a one year membership. And there are lots of videos on painting. In German. German is my first language, although at age 62 I hardly have an opportunity to speak it. After watching a few videos, my ability to understand it is coming back. So here I am, painting, and relearning a language. Would this have happened had I not had the stroke? I doubt it.

Congratulations Kev! It's wonderful to follow your story and see how much you have improved, and how much you are now able to accomplish! Keep safe, and keep posting. And thank you for taking the time to blog.

It's gorgeous! And what a lot of work you put into it! It doesn't look amateurish at all, and your colour choices are lovely.

I am a card maker too and your card is really lovely! Lots of thought and work was put into this.

Well, it's new year, and I am feeling pretty positive about life. I started following an art challenge, and am happy with the progress I am making. I started off the year by going to an art retreat with a good friend who is very talented. My word for the year is LEARN. As in learn new things. Learn Acrylic painting - I am signed up for a class that starts next week. I have a bit of aphasia when I get overstimulated, and I am now at the point where that won't stop me. If I explain that I had a stroke, it will be ok. Learn Watercolour painting - This is something I have been doing for the past 5 years or so, and the stroke slowed me down, but I am working on regaining what I lost. Learn to be gentle with myself - This is a really hard one, as I beat myself up when I can't speak or can't figure something out. As a fellow survivor said he says to himself "Back off! You had a stroke!!!" Most days are good, but I am always thrown when something happens to remind me that it happened at all. I need to remember that it is a minor setback, not a permanent loss. Thanks for reading this. SueC

Congratulations Kev! I am glad the speech went well.

Wow Tracy! I admire your ability to write so well. I am in a real funk this winter too, and I wish I was able to be more creative to help me through it as you are doing. Kudos to you for putting one foot in front of the other and continuing forward. Your decorations sound lovely. Merry Christmas! One more week and the days start to get longer again !!!

Ah yes, an exciting day full of teachable moments... I have a pretty bad ant problem under the paving stones. I went onto a gardening website and asked about the best way to get rid of them that is both earth friendly and not dangerous for Daisy. Daisy is a Golden Retriever who gets into anything and everything, even at 10 years of age. I got a reply - use diametaceous earth. I have a photographic memory, and thank goodness, I didn't lose that post stroke. I could picture the container, and exactly which cupboard it is in. It's been in the basement and moved around for about 20 years, and that's no exaggeration. I can't remember the last time I used it. So, thinking it would be a great idea to start by trying it on the front path, where Daisy can't go, I set off to start torturing those hard working ants. First squeeze of the bottle, and the plastic container cracked, spilling about 32 ounces of white powder all over the walkway, my bare feet, my sandals, and thanks to a well timed gust of wind, all over my clothes. Lesson learned - what NOT to do: Wear good jeans, bare feet and sandals. Don't check for breezes when using a powdery substance. Be sure to use a really old plastic bottle, which will immediately crack open. Decide to sweep bits of it all over the sidewalk - which now looks like some kids went crazy with white chalk. DO: Strip down immediately, hose down shoes and feet before coming into the house. Wash all clothing in the washer. Forget that the washer is on and have a shower, as there is nothing like those nice moments of no pressure while there is soap in your eyes. Be sure to hurry, so that when you are getting the soap out of your eyes, you miss your eyes and your fingernail goes up your nose and thanks to the blood thinners, a robust nosebleed commences. Change into pyjamas at 6:25 pm and call it a day. Now all I need to do is buy some more on Amazon, along with a proper dispenser, and find a YouTube video on proper application Lesson learned. Geez Louise!

Good luck at the disability hearing!

Oh Tracy, I wish I could give you a big hug. I agree with both of the comments. I would be hurt, upset and angry too. Keep in mind all of you are grieving and nobody is thinking clearly. Your sister may well see that when she moves, that she doesn't need some of the things she is keeping. I don't know what your relationship is with your sister. Perhaps when she starts packing to move, you may be able to ask her if she is giving anything away, would she give you a call to see if there is anything that you could use before she gives it away. You certainly have a lot on your plate, and it's amazing to me that you are coping as well as you are. Be proud of that! And quitting smoking on top of all the stress- well, that's a HUGE accomplishment!!! Don't feel bad about how you feel, there is no shame in having feelings. Don't be mad at yourself. You have suffered a loss, and it seems there isn't a lot of recognition of that, as your entire family is grieving. Keep venting, we are all here for you.

Oh you are expected to do way too much. No wonder you are feeling the way you do! I am sorry that you are under so much stress- that's really not good. I hope things settle down a bit for you soon. Your plate is just too full. Know that we are all here to support you and listen. Hopefully venting helps a bit. It's hard to say no and stand up for ourselves, especially when those who ask are in need themselves. Sending you hugs. SueC

Yes, Asha, you are very lucky! It's so good to hear that there are such caring people in the world, and you found one!

Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Pam, I am a newbie here and only one month in since my stroke, so I can't offer any wise words. I wish you Peace and Love, and know that we are all here for you.