SueC

I am praying for both of you.

I am glad you posted this. It helps to share. Amazing how hard we are on ourselves, when something happens that we can't control. In my experience, the opposite of depression is expression, which is much healthier. Don't be ashamed to cry, it's part of being human.

Yes, I forget words,and lose track mid thought. I am a visual thinker, I see pictures in my head of the words I want to say and I notice since the stroke, I dont see the pictures all the time. My stroke was in the right front of my brain.

Good luck at the disability hearing!

Thanks Paul!

Oh Tracy, I wish I could give you a big hug. I agree with both of the comments. I would be hurt, upset and angry too. Keep in mind all of you are grieving and nobody is thinking clearly. Your sister may well see that when she moves, that she doesn't need some of the things she is keeping. I don't know what your relationship is with your sister. Perhaps when she starts packing to move, you may be able to ask her if she is giving anything away, would she give you a call to see if there is anything that you could use before she gives it away. You certainly have a lot on your plate, and it's amazing to me that you are coping as well as you are. Be proud of that! And quitting smoking on top of all the stress- well, that's a HUGE accomplishment!!! Don't feel bad about how you feel, there is no shame in having feelings. Don't be mad at yourself. You have suffered a loss, and it seems there isn't a lot of recognition of that, as your entire family is grieving. Keep venting, we are all here for you.

Wow! You do more in a day than I can do in a week!

We have seen the neurologist since my post and he will be setting us up with a support group for survivors and caregivers. I am grateful to live in Vancouver and the stroke clinic is literally 20 minutes down the street! My husband is willing to do whatever he can and we have decided to see the humour in the many silly things I do now. Thanks so much Paul, I appreciate your reply!

Oh you are expected to do way too much. No wonder you are feeling the way you do! I am sorry that you are under so much stress- that's really not good. I hope things settle down a bit for you soon. Your plate is just too full. Know that we are all here to support you and listen. Hopefully venting helps a bit. It's hard to say no and stand up for ourselves, especially when those who ask are in need themselves. Sending you hugs. SueC

I was at the neurologist's office yesterday, for the first time since my stroke. The neurologist pointed out to me that my tone of voice sometimes goes flat and the tone does not match what I am saying. I had no idea. What else am I not aware of? My husband was aware of this and knew it was caused by the stroke, so he didn't tell me as he didn't take it personally. Apparently sometimes when I speak to him I sound angry. We have been together for 34 years and we have never exchanged a harsh word. It distresses me to know that I am being unpleasant, even though I wasn't aware of it. I apologized, and he and the neurologist both told me there is nothing to apologize for, it isn't my fault. Now that I am aware of it though, I will make an effort to focus on what I am saying and how I say it. The neurologist is going to set me up with a speech therapist, so hopefully that will help. Reading, which has always been one of my greatest lifelong passions, has become difficult. I find that I need to read the same page over and over and I still pick up more, as my mind skips around and I think my eyes are just going over the words out of habit. So frustrating when I get halfway through the book and wonder who a character is ( and then find out it is the main character I have been reading about all along)! Any suggestions about reading and comprehension?

Thanks everyone! We are going to our doctor on Friday, and I will discuss it with him when we are both there. I can't tell you how invaluable your advice and support is! Today is Thanksgiving here in Canada, and I am very thankful to have all of you. Sue

Great idea! Thanks Asha 🙂

Thanks so much for taking the time to write. I agree thst he needs more support and will definitely tslk to our Dr about it next week when we see him.

Hi All, My stroke was on August 29,2018. My husband of 34 years and I are still trying to cope with the new normal. My only deficits are low energy and concentration and I can't speak for long periods of time without stuttering or not getting any words out. I am writing this because I really need to vent. I am and always was a big worrier. Now I am even more worried about my husband than before the stroke. He had a severe clinical depression and has not been able to work for 4 years. He was getting better, and I was starting to manage to get him out of the house, and now this. By this, I mean the stroke. I had high cholesterol and didn't realize it. My mom had a stroke and my dad had a heart attack, so the blood clot and narrowed artery in my brain could be genetic. That, and being raised on a European diet. After the stroke I decided to completely change my diet to plant based, no dairy no oil, no salt. I found this easy to do, and really enjoy the recipes I have found. My concern is that since my husband enjoys a lot of junk food, he now consumes more foods that are really bad for him, and based on the wrappers in the trash, he is eating a lot. He is also staying up all night and going to bed at 5 or 6 am, although this is not new, he has always been a night owl. I am concerned that he is using sleep and food to cope and I am having trouble not feeling upset that the stroke has caused this and also set him back in his recovery. He goes to a mood disorder group every week, and I can only hope he talks about it. I can't help him, I can't even help myself right now. Any coping suggestions to help me would be welcomed, and thanks so much for reading this.