SueC

Well, it's new year, and I am feeling pretty positive about life. I started following an art challenge, and am happy with the progress I am making. I started off the year by going to an art retreat with a good friend who is very talented. My word for the year is LEARN. As in learn new things. Learn Acrylic painting - I am signed up for a class that starts next week. I have a bit of aphasia when I get overstimulated, and I am now at the point where that won't stop me. If I explain that I had a stroke, it will be ok. Learn Watercolour painting - This is something I have been doing for the past 5 years or so, and the stroke slowed me down, but I am working on regaining what I lost. Learn to be gentle with myself - This is a really hard one, as I beat myself up when I can't speak or can't figure something out. As a fellow survivor said he says to himself "Back off! You had a stroke!!!" Most days are good, but I am always thrown when something happens to remind me that it happened at all. I need to remember that it is a minor setback, not a permanent loss. Thanks for reading this. SueC

Congratulations Kev! I am glad the speech went well.

Beautiful! Thank you for posting this.

I am thinking of you all. It is encouraging to hear that there is some progress being made. The holidays are a difficult time - Merry Christmas to all of you. Sue

Wow Tracy! I admire your ability to write so well. I am in a real funk this winter too, and I wish I was able to be more creative to help me through it as you are doing. Kudos to you for putting one foot in front of the other and continuing forward. Your decorations sound lovely. Merry Christmas! One more week and the days start to get longer again !!!

Ah yes, an exciting day full of teachable moments... I have a pretty bad ant problem under the paving stones. I went onto a gardening website and asked about the best way to get rid of them that is both earth friendly and not dangerous for Daisy. Daisy is a Golden Retriever who gets into anything and everything, even at 10 years of age. I got a reply - use diametaceous earth. I have a photographic memory, and thank goodness, I didn't lose that post stroke. I could picture the container, and exactly which cupboard it is in. It's been in the basement and moved around for about 20 years, and that's no exaggeration. I can't remember the last time I used it. So, thinking it would be a great idea to start by trying it on the front path, where Daisy can't go, I set off to start torturing those hard working ants. First squeeze of the bottle, and the plastic container cracked, spilling about 32 ounces of white powder all over the walkway, my bare feet, my sandals, and thanks to a well timed gust of wind, all over my clothes. Lesson learned - what NOT to do: Wear good jeans, bare feet and sandals. Don't check for breezes when using a powdery substance. Be sure to use a really old plastic bottle, which will immediately crack open. Decide to sweep bits of it all over the sidewalk - which now looks like some kids went crazy with white chalk. DO: Strip down immediately, hose down shoes and feet before coming into the house. Wash all clothing in the washer. Forget that the washer is on and have a shower, as there is nothing like those nice moments of no pressure while there is soap in your eyes. Be sure to hurry, so that when you are getting the soap out of your eyes, you miss your eyes and your fingernail goes up your nose and thanks to the blood thinners, a robust nosebleed commences. Change into pyjamas at 6:25 pm and call it a day. Now all I need to do is buy some more on Amazon, along with a proper dispenser, and find a YouTube video on proper application Lesson learned. Geez Louise!

Good luck at the disability hearing!

Oh Tracy, I wish I could give you a big hug. I agree with both of the comments. I would be hurt, upset and angry too. Keep in mind all of you are grieving and nobody is thinking clearly. Your sister may well see that when she moves, that she doesn't need some of the things she is keeping. I don't know what your relationship is with your sister. Perhaps when she starts packing to move, you may be able to ask her if she is giving anything away, would she give you a call to see if there is anything that you could use before she gives it away. You certainly have a lot on your plate, and it's amazing to me that you are coping as well as you are. Be proud of that! And quitting smoking on top of all the stress- well, that's a HUGE accomplishment!!! Don't feel bad about how you feel, there is no shame in having feelings. Don't be mad at yourself. You have suffered a loss, and it seems there isn't a lot of recognition of that, as your entire family is grieving. Keep venting, we are all here for you.

Oh you are expected to do way too much. No wonder you are feeling the way you do! I am sorry that you are under so much stress- that's really not good. I hope things settle down a bit for you soon. Your plate is just too full. Know that we are all here to support you and listen. Hopefully venting helps a bit. It's hard to say no and stand up for ourselves, especially when those who ask are in need themselves. Sending you hugs. SueC