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AnaJ

Stroke Caregiver - female
  • Content Count

    14
  • Donations

    $0.00 
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Country

    United States

About AnaJ

  • Rank
    New Member
  • Birthday 07/08/1964

Contact Methods

  • Stroke Network Email
    Yes

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    12-17-2017
  • Website URL
    ajubran@verizon.net
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Andrea
  • State
    TX
  • Country
    United States
  1. Thank you, Paul. We just do what we have to do to survive this world, and whatever it throws at you. I know that our loved ones did'nt ask for the situations they are in, eather. Kudos to all you stroke survivors and caregivers! You are all pretty awesome!
  2. Thank you, Becky, for your positive, kind words. Everyone on this site has been wonderfful. We've all been touched and changed by a very tragic occurance, but the commaradarie here is great!
  3. AnaJ

    Hi, Marriage is not totallly about sex, but I understand that it's usually pretty important to the younger folk. It's also an unspoken closeness to be shared, like laying close together, holding hands, snuggling and the such. This speaks volumes, too. And for now, thats just great. I just let Sam take his time in this matter, because like everything else in his life, that, too, has changed after his stroke, and I know that it bothers him more than me. We've learned to be greatful for our closeness, and little expressions of our love that does not include much sex right now. To me, this is a small issue in light of everything that we have been through. Alan is so right. We don't know how many years we might have left.
  4. AnaJ

    Alan, Congratulations on your continuing progress towards recovery! Yes, stroke recovery is long and HARD, but you're getting there, one step at a time, one day at a time. And it looks like you are having a very active, fulfilling life while you're doing it! Your positive outlook will take you far in life! What an inspiration to us all!
  5. Thank you, Heathber, what a wonderful post. I never really looked at the situation that way, and you are so right. Sam does need some change in his life for the better, and this might be the circumstance to make him do it. I'm trying not to be harsh. I've been home with him 24/7 since I lost my last job, doing most everything for him. Maybe a little tough love is in order. Sometimes lately, I might ask him to do a task that I know he can do, and he says he can't, or won't, because he's tired. I do try to give him choices in things, like what do you want for dinner, or when would you like your shower, or such. He even helps me cook sometimes, in the kitchen in his wheelchair. My not being around for a few hours will be scary for us both, but as long as someone is there in case he needs something, like our kids, he should be alright. This might be the situation to get him to move forward in his recovery!
  6. AnaJ

    Wow, she does beautiful work! You can be very proud! I'm so happy that she is such a wonderful blessing in your life!
  7. Hi, Heathber, Yes, a monitoring device sounds like a wonderful idea! We got one for our Mom as well, when she lived alone. It gave us all peace-of-mind! Thank you for that idea!
  8. Hi, Becky, Yes, Sam does receive SS Disability. One of his caseworkers during one of his hospital stays was very helpful in helping us to apply for that. He also receives Long-term disability, which helps alot. He has been on SS Disability for over a year now, and should be elegible for medicare next year. I am also able to leave him alone for short periods of time, like to run to the store for fifteen minutes to pick up his medicine or something, but I don't like to do that. I think of things like a fire, and he cannot get out. He always tells me to just go and not to worry, but it seems that I have become very hyper-vigilant after his stroke. I try to go when at least one of our kids are home. We also have a baby monitor for him, to make things easier. I don't think he's in any danger or doing anything he's not supposed to, and he is very aware of his limitations. As for working, I'm concidering getting him a caregiver for a few hours, until at least one of our kids come home to be with him. I feel that he cannot be left alone for hours on end. Maybe this situation will encourage him to try and do more things on his own, and be more independant. We will see. Thank you for your advice!
  9. HI, Paul and Ed, Thank you for your kind replies. Yes, I've looked for ways to be able to work from home, which would be ideal. My job is such that I would need to work out of my home, unforttunately, and I would need to learn some new skills to be able to work from home. I have'nt ruled this option out entirely. I do not have a college degree, and my type of job doen't pay well, but our health insurance would be taken care of. Unfortunately, my husband cannot use a cell phone yet, use the restroom on his own, or prepare his own meals. I'm hoping that our kids would help him as far as that goes. I know it won't be easy, but hopefully something will work out. I'm glad that it worked out well in your situation, and that you and your wife were able to find a way to keep afloat, financially. Thanks for your advice!
  10. Hello, everyone! My husband suffered his stroke almost two years ago. He's doing great, but he has lost his job as a result, and I have lost mine as well, to be home to care for him. He cannot do any self care on his own, so I help him walk, and we do some therapy activities during the day. He collects Long Term Disability and Social Security benefits as well, which is very helpful. For health insurance, we are on Cobra from my job, which takes a huge chunk of our income. He will not be elegible for Medicare until next year, and I am not old enough to go on that. We also have two daughters in college, which isnt cheap. Thank goodness our home is paid for. This is okay for now, but not sustainable in the long term, as I don't know if Sam will ever be able to work again. I have been looking for a job at night, but I have mixed feelings about this. Sam has been encouraging me in my job search, and says that that would be the only way that we can save for our retirement. Working nights, our adult children will be home with him, and he usually sleeps all night anyway, but I will worry about him constantly. Also, I have never worked nights before. Will it take a toll on my health, and compromise my caring for him? have any of you had similar circumstances, and if so, what did you do? any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
  11. Thank you all for your words of encouragement!
  12. Hi, Chris, Please remember that your anger and frustration are absolutly normal, and you must vent somehow. That is important for your mental health. Also remember, and one of the things that I've learned with stokes is that nothing is cut and dry. There are no time frames for anything as far as healing from a stroke go. It's a major lifechanger, for sure, and definitely the life you didn't ask for. My heart goes out to you! Also, please take care of yourself. Do something you enjoy while your husband sleeps, read a book, go to the gym, etc. I don't mean to sound corny, but we also need to look for and be grateful for the small steps that your husband might make in his recovery. Stroke recovery is long and hard, in most cases. For all parties involved. But is's still very much possible! Everyday is one step closer to that. I hope this helps you!
  13. Hi, Sue! I'm so sorry that you felt unsupported as a caregiver. Yes, it can be lonely at times, but we just have to remember that there are so many others out there going through the same. Sometimes it can be hard to reach out to others. I am not the type of person who likes to put my feelings out there, but sometimes we must step out of our comfort zone and do just that. Caregiving for a loved one is just too important a job to let our own self-care slide. Our loved ones depend on us, and it is the most important job we will ever do. Before my husband suffered his stroke, I've always wondered how caregivers managed to do what they do. Now I know that they do it out of love.
  14. Hi, Everyone! I'm new to this network, and it's so nice to be in touch with others also going through these tough times. My husband, my best friend, suffered a hemorrhagic stroke nearly two years ago. He has always taken great care of himself, so it was quite a shock to say the least, that this happened so out of the blue. To this day, doctors still do not know what caused it. He is now 59 years old, and cannot do any self care activities on his own. Thank God, he is cognitive, and still has his smart mind. He tries so hard to get his life back to normal. When this first happened, He had several major issues, lung edema, swollen brain, just to name a few, and he was completely paralyzed for the first five weeks. Doctors several times said that he wouldn't make it, but he managed to pull through after a six month hospital stay, and ten months of rehab. What a major life-changing event for all of us, but we are blessed. Thank goodness that he doesn't remember anything of those devastating times. Now we are just trying to stay positive and go day to day. I love caring for him, and so happy that those doctors were wrong and he's still here! I am 55 years old, and we have three adult children living at home with us as well. Its been quite a long journey!
  15. Welcome to StrokeNet. Please feel free to browse around and then introduce yourself by posting in the the Newbie Stroke Survivor or Stroke Caregiver Introduction forum.  After that, post your question in the applicable forum and others will reply.  You will quickly get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

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