2626

Stroke Caregiver - female
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  1. Hi Sue I’m not sure if you’re still commenting in this conversation but I read several of your notes to other people and felt like you were a good person for me to reach out to for some guidance and support. My mom had a severe stroke almost 3 years ago which paralyzed her right side and left her unable to use language. She still sings a lot with us but is not able to communicate verbally anymore. Her stroke changed everything in our family and turned my world upside down. She stays in a small board and care facility now where she has 24 hour caregiving and I have tremendous guilt about her not being home with my family. I live one state away so when it happened, I stay with her 24 hours a day for two months and when things leveled out to a new normal, I returned home and started flying home every three weeks to visit. Just a couple months before she had the stroke, she told me she didn’t ever want me to move her in with me, I think she knew something was coming. I always imagined I would happily move her into my home and I have horrible guilt about not doing it, even though I know that level of caregiving would be so hard on my mental health. My dad had a heart attack shortly after her stroke So he has his own health concerns and doesn’t feel capable of being the primary person at home with her and I hold a lot of anger toward him because of that. In the meantime, I do everything in my power to bring her as much joy as possible. We used to go out on walks, shopping, to cafes every time I visited but, since we couldn’t do our regular visits during the quarantine last spring, she lost a lot of the energy she had gained back and my heart breaks now because she mostly sleeps all day and doesn’t want to get out of bed anymore. Her doctor shared that most people would have died from such a severe stroke, but I know my mom stayed for me. We are incredibly close and I’m so grateful I’ve been given this extra time with her, but I worry every day both about her dying and simultaneously afraid she’ll live like this for many more years, which I just don’t want for her either because she can’t enjoy life like this. Any guidance, wisdom, resources or support you can share would be very welcome. Thanks Laurel