HostAsha

I guess we all are similar if we are busy & have interaction with people that makes us happy. I have found if I am learning something new then I am happy, so reading painting all helps me. Asha

Sue : I agree once we start counting our blessings there are many. recently just out of curiosity & readin Jean's blogs I started paint by numbsrs painting & loving the joy it brings in my life, sometimes trying new things is so much fun too. hope you look into some hobbies like those Asha

I love the above line "unexamined life worth not living", since my stroke I have done lot of that & my life has become richer due to it. I follow Jean riva mentor I met right here on this site & thanks to her wisdom & blogs it provided me courage & strength to still give good fight & boy I am so glad I persisted. Recently in Jean's blog she quoted bernard shaw & it is spot on “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, the being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch, which I've got held up for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” George Bernard Shaw. Its such a great quote & I would like to live life like that. Since my stroke I have started realizing I am responsible for my happiness, I can not blame my parents, my family or anybody else for my misfortune or unhappiness, I am responsible for my own happiness. I got this one shot at the life & I better start living fully, and take responsibility for my life. Lately I have started doing that, started watching movies alone cause it brings me joy, recently Jean had mentioned paint by numbers in her blog & I thought to myself why not order 1 kit & try it, It was $10 kit worth every penny, I have been painting for a month now though I only get time on weekend to paint since rest of the days I am busy with my other work. I will post picture here when its fully done, I think I should be done by this weekend, it has brought immense joy in painting, Recently again through Jean's blogs I heard about of Anne of green gables book & started reading it & thoroughly enjoyed it & decided for our 32 wedding anniversary we will drive to novascotia & it was our best 1 week driving vacation to novascotia. after talking with Mark canadian stroke survivor who told me about things to see in novascotia like peggy's cove, cabot trail &dottie mentioned graham bell museum & off two of us went on our 32nd honeymoon vacation & it was one of the best. we both travel well together I had access to radio so was playing all my music & good books on tape & ted talks so trip was so much fun & relaxing. while on cabot trail met young indian kids & they told us about skyline trail so we went for that hike too, it was easy 4 mile hike though lately I get very dizzy & feel scared on the height, so on peggy;s cove & in skyline trail I did not go till end rather waited for hubby on safe place holding it tight to bench or railing lol Another funny thing & the reason I wanted to visit Anne of green gables museum in canada, since I can so relate with Anne, the way she will dramatize everything. I feel I do the same way when I was little & even now sometimes, so I can relate with her again I just feel so grateful I survived the stroke & I gained so much wisdom from this low phase of my life that, I am grateful for all the abudence in our life. Asha

sarah : glad you blogged & let us know ho you are doing, Good you moved to colorado & now close to your kids. don't be stranger here, comw often & update us Asha

Sue : lately with my mom's stroke I have been busy helping brother & mom where ever I can, then don't have any extra time to volunteer anywhere else other than how much I volunteer here Asha

As I am getting old & going through my own life experiences which makes me go AHA & integrating some of the techniques in my life makes me also feel so happy. after reconnecting with my childhood friend after 30 years & finding out she recently became widow, made me realize that having different interests in life & doing certain things alone is also healthy & good & much better in big scheme of things. Following on that enlightenment I decided to start my first paint by numbers art project to try my hand in my free time, something I can still do & ofcourse started watching some of the movies my other friends recommended alone & enjoying them. & started reading some of classic fiction books all of this makes me so happy. It brings smile to my face that as long as we are alive we can learn something new & find joy in living every day. I feel so blessed that I got chance to enjoy the world with deeper meaning after my stroke

I love blogging or journal my internal thoughts & struggles. when I write down my thoughts its weight lifted off my chest & given to universe to take care of it for me. lately I wonder & struggle to let go of my adult son's choices & decisions in life. In my head I justify saying oh I don't want him to stumble in life or make any mistakes in life. I think that's not a good idea & that can push him away from me, and it is more selfish on my part, that I still want to feel validated and matter by giving him constant advice when its not even asked lol. so learning to let go of your child who you like to protect, how do you achieve that is the question I have been wondering, how did you dealt with this question in your own life

Sue : I am glad you had great time with your daughter & their family, have you thought about moving in with them & help out in their salvation army work as volunteer or paid employee, I feel like you will be asset to them & it will be win win situation for every one. Asha

I just realized something very big & want to write down so that I never forget this lesson in my life. I have been married for 30 plus years & I still feel sometimes hubby & I we both are two very different personality, he is introvert& me extrovert, he talks less & I talk a lot, he does not like to watch TV or movies & I enjoy them, I always feel more happy if we do things together versus he can spend time alone & still be happy. So after 30 years I have started doing things alone which I enjoy so watching movie alone is ok too, I used to feel like & told him once I feel like widow watching movie alone then realized I have been acting like drama queen here there s nothing wrong if he does not want to watch movie together & I watch alone that does not make me widow. being widow will be lot more scarrier if he is not by my side to give me sound advice for our financial stuff & for our son. I can hug him every night while sleeping, just because he shared different interest than mine does not make me widow, so that is really so immature of me to even think like that

some of you who know me well through my blogs or by interacting with me in person will know I like to read nonfiction spiritual books,self help books. my hubby is my sounding board for lot of these discussion about life in general. after reading all these holy books from different religions, I finally understood some important things about life. I strongly feel choices we make in life creates our destiny & those choices we make are based on two things, one is genetic & second is how our thoughts get conditioned by what we watch, read or listen too. but in the end its still our free will what we chose based on our preconditioned notion or genetic factor, we chose some action & it can give you some results of that action, it can be good or bad, results not in our control, some actions like eating unhealthy food & then saying oh man I got weight issue or other ailments. those making food choices for oneself is in our own control. I feel taking responsibility for your action & work on improving yourself & make better version of yourself & have fun every day is purpose of my life. be good human being & play all the roles I play in life with good intention & with best of my ability is So purpose of my life. is to become better version of myself is my thinking & with my free will I can make good choices in life & become best version of me.

lot has been going on in my life, some good, some not so good, but we still making progress & moving forward. will start with not so good news, recently my 81 year old mom after her back surgery suffered stroke which left her paralyzed on her left side, though luckily being in rehab she got TPA & other treatment right away so her stroke was not as bad as mine, but due to her age & her existing precondition of her body her recovery was not as swift as mine which made her hugely depressed & angry at the world & we all siblings were at full loss on how to handle the situation. then she had to move back to sub acute rehab place for 80 days from acute rehab & there slowly & steadily her condition improved atleast she was mobile enough to walk & more independent so finally came home, in those trying days we were trying different methods for her to be less angry & still be grateful & do things which are required for her to do it to be able to live happily & make life of everyone around her also less stressful, which accidentally happened when I told her to write Gods name in book which will be placed in the foundation of the temple being built in India, & that suggestion clicked & as soon as she started doing that, everything settled her anger also subsided & she also started seeing more recovery so her hope also came back for better life. & During all this chaos our son also finished his MD degree & matched in Pittsburgh children's hospital for his residency. So finally he is off our payroll & will start paying his own bills lol.recently for lent I started new habit where in my coffee instead of sugar started taking honey & that switch has worked for me & stuck. Other than that I have been reading great books & learning new things online. recently started reading great book "all girls filling station's last reunioin after reading glowing comments by another blogger about it & author Fannie Flagg wrote the following: in the book “Thanks to Dr. Sharpio she had learned that being a successful person is not necessarily defined by what you have achieved, but by what you have overcome.” & reading another twist on that sttement by commentator which I liked more which says "successful person is not ONLY defined by what you have achieved, but MORE by what you have overcome.”. I am enjoying this book, and by this definition of Dr schapiro can label myself as successful person by what I have overcome & still find joy at the other side. Some days I feel so lucky & blessed that I overcame that darkness & persisted to see all the light & joy & be able to see our son doing so well & getting old with my husband whose spiritual side I am in awe of.

George : Its always good to see your update, I am always happy to see your traveling report & fun times you have with Leslie & your friends. your blogs always inspires me & makes me happy. you are one glass half full guy. Enjoy this life ride with best of your abilities. Asha

welcome to best online stroke support group, I am sorry you had need to find us but now you found us you will never feel alone again. being young stroke survivor has its benefits, you can rebuild your new normal to your contentment. now that you found us you will never feel alone or different. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved, for me more than stroke retiring from job was big blow to me, I never knew how much of my identity was wrapped in the work I did & money I made, suddenly I felt worthless, luckily having supportive spouse & young kid who was just 7 at the time & my family, friends & this site, I found my joy back, today after 19 years on this post stroke journey, i realize my life is just different not good or bad its just different. I struggled hard to find my new normal after stroke & even after having supportive spouse & family, I still felt very lonely & isolated, finding this support group was god-sent to me & it helped me feel not so alone or weird. I found blogging on this site & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul . we do have scheduled chats every day in the afternoon from 3-4 EST in stroke support room #2 & in the evening from 8-9 PM EST on M,W & F. hope to see you there soon. our actions creates our destiny, come & meet every one in the chatroom & blog world you will feel less alone & feel find inspiration fom others Asha

good to see blogs are back, though when they were out started writing blogs on my personal computer since I always found blogging was very therapeutic for my soul. recently we are going through big health crisis for our mom who duffered stroke too after back surgery, doctors are saying it was due to covid , though by grace of God she is out of that angry phase & working hard on her recovery, so we are hanging tight for each other & her.

Mark : we need more than just one line in our blogs Happy New year & welcome back. Asha

testing whether we can post in the forums

I have heard great deal about mindful meditation, but just like everybody I never had time to do it, but recently I have forced myself every weekend to do just 10 mins of guided mindful meditation & then do my floor exercises. & I have stuck to that habit for this year so far. recently have been reading book on self compassion & then recently came across this great lecture on youtube on infinite peace a meditator's guide to mind and consciousnes. It was so good learnt few techniques from it & planning to incorporate in my meditation from next weekend only. you can check out this lecture right here. I loved it so thought of sharing it

Hi Mark : Heather gave you real good answer. I was also in ICU for 3-4 weeks & once was moved to rehab my recovery started, its slow & steady, first it was just getting transfered from the bed then slowly lot of therapy was added & made me quite independent & then I came home. Every stroke is different & so is recovery, but being stubborn & willing to work hard & not get beaten up by stroke was my mantra in my earlier days. I was 34 at the time of my stroke & was not willing to sit in the sidelines of life, so fought hard. I can today confidently say there is great life post stroke not good or bad its just a different. Asha Chandra

Sue : thanks for blog update, I get pearl of wisdom on kindness empathy & sound advice from your blogs. " I am good as a listening ear so I do spend some time on the phone, not counseling, just listening. I hope that helps. I learned from my years as a telephone counselor that most people know what the solution to their problem is, they just need the courage to do it. " you are spot on", will try to remember this since I am sometimes too quick on giving advice. Asha

Heather : I tried looking for the book in our library & on Amazon could not find it at both places. I find Bhagvad Geeta as very practical handbook for all of us human who are facing some of the similar questions Arjuna faced in battlefield of his own life, we also as humans face similar questions during our lifetime. I guess if you live long enough you are bound to go through ups & downs of life, & I am learning so much from these spiritual books. Asha Chandra

Heather : that's perfect, you nailed it thank you for another beautiful view point which makes me go YES Asha

I am spiritual being having this human experience. & I like to read, watch & learn from this thinkers who have spread their knowledge through religious books or spiritual books. I love reading, watching & listening & learning from this books. Today heard good line from our hindu bhagvad geeta book where God tells his disciple who was struggling with tough questions in his life. God tells him that start looking at every event in your life without labeling it as good or bad & then fighting against it & creating unhappiness in your life, instead just accept them as they are, without any label & you will always find joy. This made me go AHA isn't that truth, we don't know the future so even the event which looks very bleak right now can also be bedrock of maybe breaking you open to the new way of life which might be more fulfilling than just rushing through the life.& who knows something which seems good & desirable right now maybe will be the worst thing for you. so It is always good idea to look at whatever is happening in your life without labeling it as good or bad & just say thank you to cosmic powers who still gave you new day here to learn & grow from it. I know this is very hard thing to do but its good practice to follow. " I should just do my part & then don't worry about the results & take all results with same emotions not very happy or sad about outcomes.