givincare

Stroke Caregiver - female
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  1. givincare

    Shameless Plug

    By givincare,

    As some of you know I have been chosen as a Top 10 finalist in the Rotel Across America recipe contest. Thousands of recipes were entered and I was one of the lucky ones selected! I need votes in order to win the prize of $2000, all you have to do is be a member of Facebook and Vote Here! I would love your support- you can vote once a day through June 30th.
     
    I don't post often anymore, (mostly lurk these days) but I am longtime member and the caregiver to my husband, Patrick, who had a massive stroke in 2005.
     
    Here is the recipe for you, I hope you like it!
     
    Ro*tel Breakfast Braid
    1 (13.8-ounce) can refrigerated pizza crust dough
    Cooking spray
    3 large eggs, lightly beaten
    1 tablespoon water
    1 (10-ounce) can RO*TEL Original Diced Tomatoes & Green Chiles with juice
    1 cup frozen Potatoes O'Brien-style hashbrowns
    1 cup cooked chorizo sausage (drained well of grease)
    1/2 cup shredded Mexican-style 4 cheese blend
    1 large egg white, lightly beaten
    Preheat oven to 425°.
     
    Unroll dough onto a baking sheet coated with cooking spray; shape into a 15 x 10–inch rectangle.
     
    Lightly spray a large skillet with cooking spray. Add the 3 lightly beaten eggs and the tablespoon of water in the skillet and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly. Cook 1 1/2 minutes or until set. Remove eggs from skillet and set aside in a medium bowl.
     
    In the same skillet, add the Potatoes O'Brien hashbrowns and the can of RO*TEL tomatoes including the juice. Cook over medium-high heat for 5-8 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender and all the juice from the RO*TEL tomatoes has cooked off. Remove from heat and add to the eggs. Stir to combine.
     
    Spread the cooked chorizo lengthwise down center of dough, leaving about a 2 1/2-inch border on each side. Spoon egg, potato and RO*TEL mixture evenly over the sausage. Sprinkle the 1/2 cup cheese over egg, potato and Rotel mixture.
     
    Make 2-inch-long cuts about 1 inch apart on both sides of dough to within 1/2 inch of filling using a sharp knife. Gently pull strips over filling, alternating strips diagonally over filling. Pinch ends to seal. Brush the top of the braid with the egg white. Bake at 425° for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Let stand 5 minutes. Cut crosswise into slices.
    Serve!
     
    Lower Fat/Calorie Substitution Ideas:
    *Substitute the Churizo with ground turkey sausage or lean diced ham. Rinse the ground sausage to remove excess fat.
    *Substitute the cheese with reduced fat or no fat cheese, or leave out the cheese altogether.
    *Substitute the eggs with eggs whites only (increase to 5 egg whites) or use an egg substitute.
    *Add your favorite veggies such as peppers, mushrooms, spinach, broccoli or whatever you have!
    *Cut the Braid into 8 servings and serve with fresh melon- YUM!
     
    How to vote:
    1. Go to this link: http://www.rotelacrossamerica.com/recipes/rotel-breakfast-braid/
    2. Click on "connect to Facebook"
    3. "LIKE" Ro*tel Tomatoes
    4. Cast your vote!
    (You must have a Facebook account to vote, but don't have to "Friend" anyone one new, etc. If you can't vote, hope you still enjoy the recipe!)
  2. givincare
    February 16th is the anniversary date of Patrick's stroke. I have never really known how to properly acknowledge this date. On the one hand I feel like it deserves to be recognized. On the other, it's not really something I want to "celebrate".
     
    I know some of you celebrate the anniversary, Jean with her "I survived" parties for Don, and Asha combining it with her Valentines day celebration to name a few. I respect that their stroke anniversaries are remembered in a way that is right for them. I just don't personally feel like this is a day for rejoicing. I think back to this day four years ago and remember fear and anguish. I feel like "the stroke" has taken on a life of it's own, that it is a separate entity, and I wish I had never met it. For me to break out the champagne and balloons just seems like giving it more importance, power, and life than it deserves.
     
    I had been pondering the upcoming anniversary for a few days, so I asked Patrick how he felt about it. Was it something that should be celebrated, from a survival aspect? Was it something that should be forgotten? He told me he was glad to be alive and proud of how far he has come in his recovery. But as far as recognizing the date, he really felt nothing about it other than realizing it was the day of his stroke. It neither saddened him or gave him reason for celebration. So that is how the day has went. Neither of us saying anything about it either way.
     
    I decided a little while ago that while I don't want to celebrate it, I am going to acknowledge it in a couple of ways: this blog is the first. After trying to decide what I COULD find positive from this day 4 years ago, I realized that I need to celebrate and recognize all the friends and family for the way they have been there for Patrick and I through this whole life change. So,
     
    THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING THERE THROUGH THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY.
    Kristen
  3. givincare

    Bah Hum Bug

    By givincare,

    Patrick is ready to put up the Christmas tree as I write. I am wishing that we wouldn't have to drag any of that sh*t out this year. It's not that I WANT to be a Scrooge, it's just coming at a bad time of year this year. Its not like I am surprised, "Whoops, how did Christmas end up in December?" but just this once, couldn't it come in April?
     
    So I am trying to create the spirit since I am not finding it naturally in myself. In the past, feelings of Christmas would probably would have been invoked with the thoughts of baking cookies. While I am sure I will still do a little of that this year, I don't want to use food to put me in the Christmas spirit. I am trying to put that part of my life in the "Christmas Past" category. Back to the question at hand: Not to sound fresh but, What can I do to help me get me in the mood?
     
    It occurred to me that when I thought about the things I loved about the Christmas season as a child it was all about Santa. Nothing brought the story of Santa to life to a seven year old like Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and since I am a bit old to try to sit on Santa's lap I think watching a few Christmas movies may do the trick. I decided to share with you my all-time favorite Christmas movies and a little bit about why I love them. Here Goes!
     
    Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)- I have loved this movie since the dawn of time (I was born in 1970, so for me it IS the dawn of time ) I always loved listening to Burl Ives sing "Silver & Gold" and his voice just IS the sound of Christmas. I was also always fascinated by the way when he moved (he was the snowman) there was snow wakes trailing behind him. Then of course there was Rudolf, and the way the others picked on him made me cry. I didn't have as much sympathy for the elf who wanted to be a dentist though, even then I was able to identify a dork when I saw it. (Ya, I was a bit jaded then, too.) But I over-looked the dorkiness of the dentist and loved every misfit in the movie anyway, even the Bumble, who scared the crap out of me. When I became a mom, this was one of the first videos I bought for my son. He loved it too and watched it any time of year until it finally broke.
     
    A Christmas Story(1983)- I remember the first time I saw this movie watching it with my step-dad. He was a child from the same era as Ralphie, the lead character. I have rarely heard him laugh so hard as when he watched this movie, so his laughter added to the overall enjoyment of it for me. Not to take away the quality of this movie because it is so well written I would have loved it had I watched it alone. Jean Shepard wrote the book "In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash" and this movie was created from one the chapters of his book. He also narrated the movie, and played the guy in the line to see Santa that tells Ralphie, "The line ENDS here. It STARTS there..." . He was also well known for his story telling on the radio and it is rumored that he did most of his radio shows "off the cuff". A Christmas Story is the classic movie that reminds you of every coveted toy you ever wanted for Christmas and the joy of finally getting it. I also loved the way Ralphie's "old man" cursed when he was upset but it kind of sounded like an adult on The Peanuts cartoons. You know he's talking but you can't understand a word. This year marks the 25th anniversary of the movie, hard to believe, huh?
     
    Christmas Vacation(1989)- This is the movie that made ME laugh the most because it most accurately represents what MY Christmas' were like. Ya, it is a characature of a family, but there is allot of truth behind it. The stress over dealing with family including the crazy one, the low class one, the idealist, and the diplomat. Sounds like an average American family to me! The pressure of "creating memories", keeping up with the Jones, and the importance of sitting down together for a traditional family dinner. Yep, sums up our house at Christmas. Taking a moment to laugh at the ridiculousness of the pressure we put on ourselves to have everything perfect is what it movie is all about. Watching it reminds me it's okay to just let some things go...
     
    The Ref (1994)- I don't know if this is really a "Christmas" movie, as much as it is a movie set during Christmas. I love it for it's biting humor, sarcasm, and overall bitterness. It is not for everyone for sure, but it is right up my alley. Kevin Spacey plays a man emasculated by his mother and Judi Davis plays his passive-aggressive wife. The fights these two have are hilarious in that they are ridiculous to the spectator, but you know you've had the same kind of arguments when no one was watching. The controlling mother in the movie is perfectly played by Glynis Johns (also in Mary Poppins!) and is the recipient of one of the best lines in the movie. It's when Kevin's character, Lloyd says: "You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it." I am sure that I laugh so hard at this line NOT because it reminds me of anyone in my family tree or anything...
     
    Miracle on 34th Street (1947)- I know there was a remake in 1994, but I prefer the original. The funny thing is, I don't think I had seen the original but only a few years before the remake. I was late to the parade on this one, but better late than never. I found it kind of amusing that it was released May of 1947, not in the winter months. Kind of hard to see myself going to the theater in May to watch a Christmas movie, but its release date obviously didn't hurt it, it was the winner of several Academy Awards, and besides, things were a bit different back then. Movies weren't at your beck and call as they are now and I am sure some theaters didn't get it until Christmas. I bet you didn't get asked if you wanted to super size your popcorn for twenty-five cents more, either. Anyway, this is the movie that answers, "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause"- all you have to do is believe. Natalie Wood was a real doll in this movie too. I always thought she was such a pretty lady growing up and I admired her big brown eyes. (I think because I have brown eyes too and in Hollywood, the standard actress or model was blue-eyed when I was a kid. It was a relief to see someone different- like me!) It was easy to recognize her, she hadn't changed all that much. We own this movie, two versions of the 1947 flick. The black & white and the colorized version. We ALWAYS watch the black & white.
     
    It's a Wonderful Life (1946)- Another one I was a little late to the party on. I may have seen it as a kid, but I sure don't remember if I did. That may be because it became so cliche for so many years that the channel was always changed by the hierarchy that was in control of the TV as soon as it came on. Thank goodness in 1998 copyright issues over the film were resolved and the film began playing only once a year, or I may have never seen the dang thing. I am glad I finally did. I now know why it is considered to be one of the best films ever made. It's the movie to watch to make you appreciate the hand you have been given. It's the one that tells you the only thing in life that really matters is the people you love. It's the one that makes you hope every time you hear a bell ring that another angel earned his wings.
     
    That wraps up the best of MY favorite Christmas movies. But there are some honorable mentions that I need to put out there as well:
     
    How the Grinch Stole Christmas- As a kid for me it was like watching a car wreck- The Grinch scared me to death but I couldn't look away. I always felt the most pity for the dog. But by the end your heart grows bigger for Mr. Grinch.
     
    A Charlie Brown Christmas- I LOVED Snoopy as a child and I can remember being 2 years old and throwing a fit in the store because I saw I stuffed "Stoopy" and thought he would die of loneliness if he didn't come home with me. Somehow my mom snuck it past me and was safely under the tree that year. Mom's are great, huh? (I still have him, by the way!) This was MY first "red-rider" experience.
     
    Scrooged- I just always loved Bill Murray and this movie was cute. I loved the way the Ghost of Christmas Present kicked the crap out of him and the way the guy Bill Murray's character fired just has a total break down. Tons of cameos and this movie still makes me laugh.
     
     
    I am sure I missed a few. What are yours? Which ones I have I mindlessly forgotten or which ones do I still need to see? Hopefully I will be able to catch a few of these this year. I already feel a bit more in the spirit!
     
    Kristen
     
     
  4. givincare
    On Thursday, Patrick and I decided it was now or never to take a drive into the mountains and get some pictures of the Aspen trees in all their fall glory. I am so glad we did! The day was sunny and gorgeous and we were able to get some great pics.
     
    We started up the mountain around 11am with our delicious lattes (sugar free, skinny vanilla, 1/2 the syrup...I am SO that person) and Peter Gabriel playing on the CD player. We drove the same basic route that we took last year. It starts in a quaint little mountain town that I swear I will stop in one day just to mill around. We then continue up the mountain where it seems you just round a curve and the aspens are suddenly enveloping you.
     
    We would pull off the road here and there and take a couple of pictures. That's when I decided to look at what I had snapped so far and realized there was no chip in the camera. DUH! Luckily, we had not yet reached the pinnacle of our journey so I was able to get plenty of pictures before we headed back down. BTW, funny how it looks so different coming back the other direction. There were several places we had intended to visit on the way back but could not find them because the views seemed so different. I guess it was not meant to be.
     
    We then continued on past the road we came up and went to the next mountain town, Estes Park. While we were in Estes, we came across four deer on a bike path. We pulled over and got some pictures of them. Then we pressed on, and about a mile down the road we came across a small herd of elk. They were to our left, to our right, and right in front of us. They had us surrounded! Luckily I still had the camera in my lap from the deer so I was able to get some really great pictures of them. The baby was my favorite.
     
    Patrick then drove us down the mountain back home. This was exciting because it was the first time since his stroke that he has driven in the mountains. He did a great job and I was able to take in the scenery which is something I haven't been able to do for a long time. A good time was had by all that day!
     
     
    Kristen
  5. givincare
    Ever wondered what life is like through a dog's perspective? I just read the book, The Art of Racing in the Rain, and this book was written through the eyes of a dog. I bought it yesterday and finished it this morning- it was so enganging!
    (I won't spoil the story, the plot I will tell you about can be found on the book jacket- I hate when people tell you too much-lol)
     
    The book begins with the end of the dog's life. On the eve of his death the story unfolds as Enzo (the dog) tells of his life and the lives of his "pack" (his owners). Enzo has come to terms with his death and is ready to die due to a documentary he saw on the discovery channel when he was young. The documentary (in short) told of an ancient belief that when dogs die, they will come back as a man. Because of this, he has spent much of his life preparing to be a man someday, trying to ingrain onto his soul all the life lessons he has learned so that as a man, he will always remember what is important.
     
    Enzo's story telling mostly focus's on his master, "Denny" a semi-professional race car driver, and the ordeal he goes through when Denny's wife becomes terminally ill and eventually dies. The story continues when Denny's in-laws sue him for custody of his daughter. You get to feel how an animal knows what is going on in his master's life and is able to "be there" as only man's best friend could be.
     
    It was fascinating to read a book told in the first person by not a person at all, but a dog. It was very moving and insightful, I highly recommend it!

    Kristen
  6. givincare
    After jumping through many hoops, dropping off forms, having evaluations, paying over $1000 out of pocket for driving instruction, modifying our vehicle,
     
    PATRICK TOOK THE WRITTEN AND DRIVING TEST TODAY AND PASSED!
     
    We have been working towards this goal since the first of the year. He passed both on his first try! It is such a relief to have this off our to-do list!
     
    He is now liscenced in THE STATE OF COLORADO! WAY TO GO, SWEETIE!
     
    Should continue to be a good day, we see Les Miserables in a few short hours! I am so excited!!!
     
    Take Care all, and thanks to everyone who has sent their good luck vibes to Patrick on his persuit of a new liscence!
     
    Kristen
     
    PS
    I am glad my 100th blog is all about us being happy
  7. givincare

    Les Miserables

    By givincare,

    I am SO EXCITED! Patrick and I are going to go see Les Miserables next Thursday, (Sept 18th) for my birthday! Patrick had told me a few days ago that the show was in Denver so I decided that seeing it again would make the perfect birthday gift. I went to the website and tried to purchase the tickets online but was unable to get any seats except in the "value" section. I called the box office to see if they had any better tickets and it just so happened that they has just had four tickets returned in the prime seating area. I told her we would take two. As it turns out, we are in the second row, center. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Here I just wanted to be able to see the actors as the first time we saw the show (13+ years ago) I couldn't see their faces- we were too far back. Of course we didn't care at the time, the music tells the story, but this time...WOW... we should be able to see every nuance! This time I will wear my waterproof mascara! And I'll have to buy new shoes, and Patrick will need a new pair of pants...
     
    :bouncing_off_wall: :bouncing_off_wall: :bouncing_off_wall:
     
    Kristen
  8. givincare
    It just goes to show life aint over after a stroke. Even though for a moment I thought it might be. Please check out this video of me, Patrick, and Brandon. Things we do for love, huh?

    Please be patient, it seems to take a moment to load!
     
    Kristen
  9. givincare

    On the Move

    By givincare,

    I have been meaning to blog forever, just seems I haven't have the motivation and time at the SAME time-lol. So here goes...
     
    APRIL- "Tax day" was actually spent doing something fun. My mom and I were in Dallas so she could participate in the Pillsbury Bake-Off. I flew out of Denver and she out of Moline, Illinois and we met up in the Dallas airport for our 2 1/2 day trip. The bake-off paid for her trip but we had to pay for mine, so this was awesome that she chose to take me with her instead of my step-dad.
     
    This was her third and final chance to win the $1,000,000 grand prize for the Pillsbury Bake-off, after that you and your immediate family are eliminated from entering the contest. She took me since she eliminated me from ever being eligible to enter. The hotel was very nice and the semi-formal dinner was really good. The whole thing was allot of fun but we were exhausted. There was not allot of time to even catch your breath, especially for the 100 contestants. Pillsbury had them going from check-ins to orientations, to question/answer sessions, to Grand March practice to dinner. Then you have to be to breakfast at 6:15 am to start again. It was crazy, but fun. Mom didn't win but seemed to be satisfied those who did. Anyway, we crammed in a week-long trip into 2 days. It was cool.
     
     
    MAY- The first week of May proved to have another whirlwind trip in store for me. My dad (who lives in Louisiana) retired officially in May and his company offered to fly me, my husband, son and also my brother out for his retirement party. Unfortunately due to work circumstances, I was unable to take any extra time off for work so I had to fly down and back over my normal two days off. We ended up having to get up at 3:30am in order to make our 6am flight. The party was that night and it was allot of fun. It was great to hear the stories about my dad. He apparently played the "bad cop" role perfectly. (He was, by the way, NOT in law enforcement!) There is a legendary meeting between my dad's company and another extremely prominent steel company that is now referred to as "The mother F-er" meeting. Apparently when the president of the other company stated they were going to raise prices, the president of my dad's company said, "John, what do you think?". My father said, "Well I think we ought to shoot the mother f______er." He got up and left the meeting. They didn't raise the prices. (BTW, the other president has actually become a friend of my dad-lol.) I guess whatever works!!!
     
    During my father's speech, he spoke of Patrick and his struggle with the stroke. My dad actually started to cry when he spoke of almost losing him. It was very emotional which is rare for my stoic father.
     
    We enjoyed the next day just spending it all together, going for a boat ride and ending it with dinner. The next morning we were up again at 3:30 to catch our 6 am flight home. We arrived in Denver later that morning. I unfortunately had no time to rest as I had to be at work at 3pm that day. It was again a very quick trip, but very enjoyable.
     
    YESTERDAY: Patrick had his last driving lesson. All he has to do now is take the written and driving test and he has a Colorado license! His therapist has recommended Patrick drive 3 or 4 more hours with me before he drives alone and a few other restrictions (no night driving, 40 MPH or less, no radio or chatting). She will re-evaluate him again after he has 60 hours of driving in to see what restrictions she will lift. These restrictions are short-term at this point so luckily we won't have to go to the DMV again to "remove" them.
     
    He just drove this morning to drop off our son at school and to get coffee. He was so excited and the girl at the coffee drive-in gave him big congratulations on him being in the driver's seat. We go to this place all the time and she "knows" us. When we went through yesterday she asked him how driving was coming along. Today she got to see for herself!
     
    I see jaunts to the store (in the passenger seat) in my future!
     
    Kristen
  10. givincare

    A special day

    By givincare,

    Patrick and I don't have much time (or money) to just DO something together. It seems like it is so hard when you are extremely limited financially and then compounded by limited mobility to find fun ways to spend time together. Even just a drive somewhere costs a fortune in gas. When the opportunity arose earlier this month to just get away for the afternoon, we took it!
     
    We started off the morning with our usual stop for coffee and hit the road towards Morrison, Colorado. One of the things we have always wanted to do since moving here was to see a concert at Red Rocks. While on a Friday morning there would be no concert, I thought it would be nice to check out the venue and find out how easy or difficult it was from our house to get there. I had no map or directions, but I had seen in a guidebook that it appeared to not be too far off the interstate. I headed in the right direction and hoped for the best (and signs).
     
    Along the way, in a suburb just outside Denver, stood four elk. What a nice surprise! We continued on and kept an eye for signs. When a sign finally appeared, I wasn't sure if it was the right exit. I asked Patrick if he had anywhere to be and he confirmed he didn't, so we pressed on for another 10 miles or so. I am glad we did because the view was beautiful. Snow-capped mountains in the distance and rolling foothills before us. We eventually turned around and headed back to the exit we missed- didn't want to end up in Utah.
     
    When we took the exit, I was surprised how small the road was that lead to the venue. I can imagine the road is deadlocked before or after a show. Oh well, I guess thats to be expected at any concert or event. Once we reached the amphitheater we wandered around the grounds and it was SO COOL. I was kind of shocked how many other people we there to wander around like us, or there to exercise by walking or jogging up and down the arena. We envisioned what bands we would like to see there, and what it would be like to see them perform as the sun was setting on the "red rocks" around us and the city of Denver in the distance. This is definitely a must-do in the future. Add it to my list. Visit Red Rocks here
     
    After checking out the museum inside, we decided to head to Denver and grab some lunch. We ended up at the 16th street mall and found a restaurant. I really love going to local restaurants vs. chains and so we walked into a place that looked interesting and had some meat-free options (we are not vegetarians, Patrick is Catholic). It was fabulous! It had been a while since we treated ourselves to a nice restaurant and I am so glad we did. After finishing lunch and beating the meter maid, we headed toward the art district on Santa Fe Drive. This was actually the entire reason we planned this little day-trip.
     
    I had recently acquired a copy Stroke Smart magazine in the waiting room of Patrick's driving therapist. I brought it home and the first thing Patrick said was, "Why is Jerry Garcia on the cover?" (I am paraphrasing aphasia-style). I explained it was not Jerry, but Abbas Khajeaian who is a local mosaic artist in the area. We thought it might be cool to see him, his studio and art so we decided why not!
     
    We parked the car in the district and walked into many studios along the way while we looked for his studio. I had an old Denver guidebook and his studio was no longer at the same address. I did know that it was still around there somewhere because it had been listed in Stroke Smart mag as being in the district. We didn't mind that we hadn't found it, we were enjoying the walk and the art. We started to head back to the car when I saw a group of studios across the street. Low and behold his studio was inside! We looked at the pieces he had in the studio, the photos of past pieces and saw his works in progress. They were truly amazing. This man has little use of his right right side similar to Patrick. We got the opportunity to speak to Abbas for about 15 minutes or so. Patrick was very inspired by this man's accomplishments. Visit his website
     
    It was a great way to spend the day. We had fun, enjoyed breathtaking views, fantasized about who it would be cool to see play at Red Rocks, saw elk grazing, grazed ourselves, DIDN'T get a parking ticket, enjoyed some art and inspiring company. We need to do this again!!!
     
    Kristen
  11. givincare

    The update

    By givincare,

    I wanted to give an update on whats been going on around with the three of us for the last few months.
     
    ME: I have been to the doctor to find out if there was something wrong with my heart. After several tests they could not find anything wrong which of course is good. I am trying to have faith that they are right but still have been nervous about exercising again. What started the concern specifically was an episode I had with a "funny feeling" and a (unsubstantiated) drastic drop in heart rate while on the treadmill. There is a family history of tachycardia (which I have too), which is odd because tachycardia is not suppose to be genetic. At any rate, I checked out OK.
     
    Work is changing again, for the better I anticipate. My lovely boss, who has made me cry more than any other boss EVER (I, by the way, do not cry easily), is leaving at the end of March. She is transferring to another location (nearby suburb) within the company, but she will be out of my hair none the less. The past six months or so have been pretty smooth with her and I, but I am still elated. She is a "control freak" and I am excited to finally have some freedom to run my department as I deem appropriate. I am excited that I will be able to implement my own ideas and take responsibility for my area-good or bad. It sad when you are just as excited about the possibility of failure simply because you haven't been allowed to try!!! Watch out, HERE I COME!!!
     
    Patrick: He is still volunteering at the adult day care program on Mondays. The clients seem to really adore Patrick and Patrick loves visiting with him. He helps do things like cleaning up after lunch and other similar tasks. I think this has helped with his speech also since he has to work a little harder to get his point across.
     
    He was released from OT and speech therapy at the beginning of February which was very nerve racking for me. We have been very lucky keeping his therapy going for the better part of three years. The last time Patrick was told he was being released from therapy, he didn't take it very well. When they told me in January that it was about to end, I was extremely nervous about how he would take it. I was pleasantly shocked when he was excited about it! The last time he had a feeling of "Sorry Patrick, this is as good as you can get". This time his take was, "Look how much better you are doing! You don't need us anymore!" I must say it is also nice not to have to plan things around therapy or worry about work/therapy conflicts.
     
    He has continued with his bioness therapy, but that is mostly at home with occasional follow ups with a therapist. He is also continuing his quest to drive again. He has had four driving sessions with a therapists so far. He will have several more over the next month or so where he is both evaluated and coached on what he needs to improve. The therapist will then write a "script" for the adaptive driving equipment which will include a left foot accelerator and a steering wheel do-hicky (my technical term-like it?). After they are installed she will drive with him in our vehicle and we will go from there. It looks like it is a matter of "when" and not "if" he will drive. Patrick is, in his words, chomping at the bit.
     
    Brandon:We have been on the upswing with our 16 year old son. He has been struggling with school and so after much deliberation and investigation, we removed him from his high school and enrolled him in an alternative high school. This seems to have been the right move. Some of the differences between this school and his old school are this school only has 4-15 students per classroom, he has the same schedule each week (his old school used block scheduling which is a challenge for most ADD kids), they call their teachers by their first name, they aren't given much homework-it's all done in class, and they don't put up with truancy. WHAT A NICE CHANGE! He will receive a regular high school diploma when he reaches enough credits, it is not a GED.
     
    While he is still not an exemplary student, we did receive a call from one of his teachers praising him on going above and beyond his other students on a project they did. WOW, I don't know if we ever had a call from a teacher to say something good before! All in all, I think we made the right decision in moving him. He always has been a good kid who struggled with school. Now he can just be a good kid.
     
    So thats about it. I have been on vacation this week and have a few nice stories to share, but I will do that later. This is long enough!
    I missed you all and I am looking forward to finding out what I have missed the last few months while I was computer-less!!!
     
    Take Care,
    Kristen
  12. givincare

    Bravo Patrick!

    By givincare,

    Patrick has been a busy bee these days! On Monday he had his first day as a volunteer at the adult day care center. This day care program is for those with Alzheimer's or dementia and is located in a neighborhood church. He is volunteering through the local hospital and there were a few hoops to jump through to get started, but Patrick did it with flying colors. His therapists personally recommended Patrick to the volunteer coodinator which was really great of them.
     
    Patrick was adamant about working with the elderly, and this seems to be a great fit so far. I dropped him off at 12 pm and when I picked him up at 2pm he was just beaming. I am not really sure what he did, but I know he made friends with some of the clients. One lady said, "I really like him" to the day care coordinator. He was proud of himself and I was proud of him too.
     
    He also had a first today- he rode the bus to therapy by himself. I had to work and we were unable to find alternative transportation so I told him either he learns to ride it or miss therapy. He hates missing therapy, so he agreed to learn how to ride the bus.
     
    To prepare him for it, we did a "dry run" together yesterday. We walked from our house to the stop to see how long it would take. We then rode the bus to the stop closest to the therapy and "got off" (not really. The bus driver was kind enough to let us get right back on without paying again). We then took the bus back to where we started and got off.
     
    We only had one minor issue. The bus driver would call out stops so I told Patrick to listen for the stop he needed for therapy. Unfortunately I didn't know he only called out specific stops, not ALL stops. We missed our "stop" and ended up one stop past where we needed to "get off". This made Patrick a bit nervous because he didn't get to see where he REALLY needed to get off, but I was able to explain it to him so that he knew when to press the stop button.
     
    This morning I was off to work and a bit nervous for him. I eventually called the therapy office to find out if he made it okay and he had. I was really antsy to know because Patrick forgot to bring his cell phone so I had no way to make sure he was doing okay and he had no way to call anyone if he missed his stop, etc. I called the house later and found he did it with no issues! Thank goodness.
     
    I asked him if he wanted a bus pass so he could go places while I was at work and he said, "UH-NO". I guess it is a little early for that. His therapists have been trying to get him to ride the bus for a year or more. I should be happy- and I am- with this success!
     
    Patrick also had another session with his bioness therapist yesterday and she gave him some good ideas on what tasks he should be doing with the device. She is encouraging him to wear the bioness and actually carry objects (like a laundry basket) around. There is a program on the bioness called the "grasp" where you can press a button and it will stimulate your hand to close. You place your hand on the basket handle for instance, press the button, and the hand will hold it until you press the release button. Then the hand is stimulated to open back up. It's pretty cool. She also wants Patrick to go for walks outside wearing the unit. She wants him to practice opening his hand with his stride mimicking how the hand naturally opens while walking.
     
    He has alot to keep him busy for a while!
     
    Take Care All,
    Kristen
  13. givincare

    Frustrations and Worries

    By givincare,

    Miss Sue asked me to update my blog so she would have something to read while she was out running all over the Land of Oz.
    I wish I could give an upbeat entry, saying how everything is coming together in my life, but I can't. It isn't all falling apart either, but it's full of frustrations and worries right now. Sometimes it feels like I have so much more to worry about than other people my age and it doesn't seem fair. But at the same time, I usually comfort myself by saying that although my problems are DIFFERENT than most people my age, isn't that all they are? Different? Isn't life always full of worries and frustrations? It's not suppose to be easy, is it?
     
    My biggest frustration right now is money. THAT is a universal frustration among the average population, I know. I have managed to get my bank account all screwed up and have been living on next to no money for almost two months. No matter how much I DON'T spend, it seems like I am not digging myself out. I have been out to eat twice since August, and the $7 I spent at Taco Bell last week for Patrick and me felt like a splurge (this is one of the two times). I am not kidding. I am going to be $500 plus fees in the hole again this week. Sucks to get paid and already be in the hole the same day! But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, next Friday I will get my bonus check and I should be out the hole again. Thank goodness. We still won't be able to do much, but at least I won't have the stress of knowing I am beyond broke. I am going to try to get an advance for the $500 I owe so I can have that off my chest Monday. What also stinks is that Tuesday is my birthday and Thursday is Brandon's 16th birthday, and there will not be much cash for a celebration. He will have to wait until after his birthday for a gift. UGH.
     
    Brandon is my biggest worry right now. That and the fear I myself will have a stroke or heart attack. Brandon seems only to be able to live in the moment- never worries about consequences. He will deal with those tomorrow. I am so tired of punishing him. It has to be done...but I wish I could be the parent whose child came home when he was suppose to. I wish I were the parent whose child cared about school. I am doing everything I can think of to keep him on track. His is what psychologists call "The challenging child". I am at my wits end.
     
    The stroke/heart attack comment? I meant it. I am worried. I need to go to the doctor but sometimes I think they will think I am a hypochondriac or something. I rarely go to the doctor, but for some reason I think they will pat me on the head and give me a muscle relaxer anMaybe, maybe not. The most recent "episode" that worried me was when I was on the treadmill about a week ago. I had been walking at a steady pace for about 40 minutes and was debating whetjer to stop or go for 5-10 minutes more. All the sudden, I felt weird. Not in pain but ...heavy...odd... so I checked my heart rate on the machine. I never really use the heart rate on the machine because I know it can be inaccurate. For some reason, this day, I used it several times while walking. My heart rate had been at 127 give or take a few beats. When I had this odd feeling i quickly checked it again. 57. I kept changing my grip, pressing harder, pressing lighter...still in the mid 50's. Then I was just about to have a panic attack thinking BEAT DAM IT BEAT! I got off the treadmill and haven't been on it since.
     
    There are other factors that have me worried about it too, but this blog is long enough. I know I need to go have it checked out. But I think I am terrified of what they will say. The rational side of me knows it's better to face it head on or know that I am okay, whichever it might be. But I am also worried that I will be eager to hear I am fine, so if the doctor doesn't take me seriously, I might not pursue it like I know I need to. Woman of 37, heart disease? Common, but doctors overlook it in women so often. Just look at Patrick. Stroke at 36! By the time the doctors really considered as stroke it was too late for the TPA to work. And then I think, surely GOD wouldn't make us go through this now, would he? I am just stressed, right? RIGHT?
     
    Kristen
    Bless all of you who read through this...
  14. givincare

    I am glad to be back

    By givincare,

    It feels so incredible to be back after well over a month of NO INTERNET! UGH! It's so amazing how addicting and how much I depend on the internet for information. How many things I wanted to investigate, people to talk to....
     
    Well here's what's we have all been up to:
    We had a great trip going back to Iowa and Illinois last month. We put over 2200 miles on the car driving around to see everyone! Just call me the road warrior...
     
    Patrick finally got his Bioness about two weeks ago and has been enjoying the therapy. We will go back again in about a week to work with the therapist some more. Because Patrick already has OT with another therapist, I have to pay 100% out of pocket for each visit with the bioness therapist. As you can imagine, we have to keep these visits to a bare minimum. This therapist will be giving his regular OT ideas on what to work on with him also. No one is expecting miracles, but if it helps- it helps!
     
    Brandon has just started school again, today was his second day. Everyone else in the world seems happy when their kids go back to school except me. Brandon struggles with school (and motivation to do any schoolwork) that I live for the day when summer arrives. This year I decided to offer him monetary compensation as an incentive for doing well in school. BIG money.
    I have never really agreed with that principle, but I decided it would be money well spent if it gets him to succeed in school and allow family unity (mostly my sanity). I hope it works.
     
    My big update is that I joined weight watchers Aug. 7th and have lost just shy of 10lbs! I want to loose at least 30 more, 40 would be outstanding. Right now I am just focusing on losing it a few pounds a week. It's alott less intimidating to look at it one week at a time rather than how far I have to go before I reach my goal weight.
     
    Patricks parents and sister joined in March, and I was shocked by how thin they looked from when I saw them in April. While we were in Iowa visiting them, I asked my MIL about weight watchers and she inspired me to join. I hope I can have that dramatic of weight loss in 6 months too!
     
    Well anyway, thats all for now. I hope I can catch you all in chat soon... I feel so out of the loop!
     
    Take Care,
    Kristen
  15. givincare
    It has been a while since I've blogged, so for anyone who is curious, here is an update in the Kristen/Patrick/Brandon household.
     
    At the last blog, we had just taken Patrick in for an evaluation with a neuropsychologist. After five hours of testing the results were of no value IMHO. The doc, who was in his 30's and will probably never be a motivational speaker, told Patrick basically to accept where he is at now as "as recovered as he will ever be" . I hate that some people seem to think that they need to be the ones to set Patrick straight so he can accept his level of recovery. Why does it matter to them if he keeps trying to get better? Why do they care if he is not ready to give up? Why?
    Anyway...
     
    His therapists are now focusing their treatment towards getting Patrick back into work-mode. After a brainstorming session, we are now in the process of doing paperwork so he may volunteer at the hospital. If it works out, I'll let you know.
     
    Some other things that has happened over the last few months:
     
    Patrick twisted his ankle pretty badly and had to make a trip to the ER 6/10. His ankle swelled so badly that it looked like he had a baseball in his sock. I guess the upside was it happened on his affected side, and other than during the initial injury, he wasn't in very much pain. He actually refused any pain medication prescription. I jokingly told him he should have gotten it and let me have it.
     
    ***
     
    My mom and stepdad were here over the 4th of July, and we had a great time. We crammed allot in during the 3 days I had with them. One day we spent in Boulder, and while driving, the street I needed to turn on appeared sooner than I anticipated. I could see there was no one behind me, no oncoming traffic, so I just shouted, "HOLD ON!" and made the turn. (It was not a 75 degree turn, it was not so sharp). But anyway, I gave everyone a scare (except me, I knew we were good-lol). My mother has now started reffering to my maneuver as a "Boulder Turn". I will hear about it forever I am sure-lol.
     
    ***
    At the end of the month, we are headed back to Iowa and Illinois for a week or so. We will see the rest of our families and friends, some of which will undoubtedly be for the last time. Patrick's best friend's father has been battling a series of health issues, and this will probably be the last time we get to see him. I am glad that Patrick will get the chance to see him- there were several instances where we had feared we would not. There is no line between family and these friends as far as Patrick is concerned. They are one and the same.
     
    I will also get the chance to see my dad and stepmom, as they are driving up from Louisiana the same week I am in Illinois. So many people to see in such a short time! I will need a vacation after this vacation.
     
    ***
     
    I hope you are all doing well!
    Kristen
     
  16. givincare

    no title

    By givincare,

    Today I took Patrick for an evaluation for an evaluation (yes, I meant to say that twice) with a neuropsychologist.
     
    His therapists recommended getting a neuro-psych test done, which they say will give them more in-depth answers to Patrick's cognative and I believe physical abilities. I guess they hope to use the info they learn to focus their attention on what will best help Patrick achieve his personal goals. At $30 an hour, and a minimum of 10+ hours for the actual test, the background info (what we did today) and their recommendations, I hope it is money well spent.
     
    The facility where he is getting the testing done also does Bioness therapy, driving evaluations and driving lessons for those with deficits for whatever reason. When I mentioned these services to Patrick, he just beemed. We are already in the paperwork phase of getting into the bioness, and driving is certainly tops on Patrick's TO-DO list. I actually went to get in our new car the other day, and noticed the seat had been moved. I had driven our old car to work that day, and while I was gone he had decided to sit in the drivers seat for the first time to see how it felt. I think he knows better than to try to drive, but I guess I better make sure I take the keys with me when I drive the old car just to keep him and pedestrians safe.
     
    Still not feeling so great, but I am trudging along okay. I hope I can be back to 100% soon, as we have a big walk coming up June 2. Another stroke survivor has asked Patrick to participate in a 5k walk/run to benefit Habitat for Humanity. I was thinking I would walk too, but I am scheduled to work that afternoon, so I am trying to determine if I am too out of shape to do a 5K walk in the morning and then work all night. If I don't start feeling better soon, I won't have to worry about it.
     
    Take Care Everyone,
    Kristen
     
     
     
     
  17. givincare

    Ups and Downs

    By givincare,

    Up and Down. That sums up my life recently, and literally the past few days.
     
    For starters, me and my right index finger have been at odds lately. My finger wants to hang around, the rest of me seems determined to see it go. First thing I did to it was slice the tip of it about 1/4" deep with a serrated "bread" knife that was inadvertantly placed in my kitchen drawer. The knife's natural home is safely in it's cardboard sheath in my silverware drawer. The knife was put away by a well intended man in my house in the cooking utensil drawer, patiently lying in wait for my finger. I went rummaging through the drawer and the rest is history.
     
    Just as it was almost healed, Oops, I Did it Again. Only this was at work, with a so-called "safety knife". This knife is made for cutting boxes, and has a protective cover over the blade that you are suppose to hold down with your thumb as you cut. As soon as you let go of the cover, it slips back over the blade. This was a brand new one, and it wouldn't open. Short story long (typical me ), when I tried to get the cover off (holding it backwards to pry it open), it snapped open all the sudden and embedded in the side of my almost recooperated index finger. Only this time, I instantly knew there was something WRONG. Almost two weeks later, the wound has healed quite a bit, but the top half of my finger is numb on one side, and the wound area is very sensitive. Not infected-sensitive, raw nerve-kind-of-sensitive. Doctor says there is nothing that can be done except to wait and see what happens. It may get better, it may never. I AM SO STUPID!!!!! And graceful I might add...
     
    The literal ups and downs..well...
     
    I had been looking forward to my three days off in a row last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Thursday was productive, I spent it doing errands and cleaning the house (oh ya, and going to a follow-up for my stupid suicidal finger). I wanted to be able to spend the next two days enjoying my time off, guilt free.
     
    Friday started off well, Patrick and I went to Longmont, grabbed some lunch at their local brew-pub, and just enjoyed our afternoon together. We went home, grilled some burgers in the evening, and built a fire in the chimnea that night. Patrick, Brandon, and I roasted a few marshmallows, made some smores, and listened to some Van Morrison on the stereo. I was so excited because I had "scheduled" myself to sleep in Saturday, the first time I could do that in weeks. It was going to be the perfect way to end my last morning off.
     
    And then I woke up at 3am. And shortly after that, the "UP"'s began. :yikes: And at 6am, the "Up"'s began again. I didn't have to worry about sleeping in, sleeping was not an option. I was sure that if I looked at my belly that it would look like I was 9 months pregnant. Maybe 10. And if a slimey alien had burst out, well, it wouldn't have shocked me.
     
    I was feeling awful all day Saturday, and had another episode of the "Up"'s in the evening. I have not been so sick in...forever? Very weird though, only had the"Up"'s, everything else was fine.Not even a fever. Not sure if it was food poisoning or what, but no one else got ill. I can tell you in all honesty that I don't if I'll ever be able to eat another smore again.
     
    Sunday and Monday went pretty well, and I was thankful for the "Down"'s, as everything stayed where it should. Now I am feeling a little queezy again, but nothing like on Saturday. I can handle this...Pray for the "Down"'s please...
     
     
     
    Kristen
  18. givincare
    I am pounding my head against the wall, and I think Patrick is feeling the same way.
     
    People don't understand (unless you've been there) just how frustrating it is to argue with a person who has aphasia. Not only do you have to make your own point, but you have to articulate the point of the person with aphasia so they understand YOU understand their point of view.
     
    God forbid you not say it exactly as they want you to, otherwise you are missing the point! NO, I AM NOT MISSING THE POINT. I UNDERSTAND! LET ME SAY IT THIS WAY...
     
    The argument we are having is about Patrick driving again.
     
    In September, his neurologist told him if he was still seizure free by November, he would recommend Patrick for a driving evaluation. He made it halfway thru November then had a seizure. They upped his meds again, but we had to lower the dosage back down as he was having side affects. Since that seizure in November, he had two more small seizures on the origanal dosage.
     
    Yesterday, we went to see the neurologist again. we decided a new medication was in order, even though his last seizure was in January. This is not a quick process, weening him off his old meds and onto a new one. It will take almost three months before he is totally off the old and totally on the new one. Then it will take a few months soley on the new med to see if it works for him.
     
    His point is, it has once again been two months since his last seizure, so he should be able to get the driving eval now. He is seizure-free in his mind. I keep trying to explain that even though it has been several months since the last seizure, the meds are not working for him well enough or he would not have had the seizures in December and January.
     
    Round and round we go. I tell him it's not up to me anyway. He tells me over and over: how long he has went without driving; how long it's been since his last seizure; how he was only suppose to have to wait 2 months of being seizure-free.
     
    I go round and round telling him he is still having occasional seizures on the current med, he is not safe to drive. I tell him it is out of my hands, it's up to the doctor. I tell him he has to wait untill we know if the new meds are working. I think he thinks we are conspiring against him. I have tried every way I can to explain that I WANT HIM TO DRIVE, TOO!!!
     
    We are both SO FRUSTRATED!!!!
     
    Kristen
  19. givincare
    I didn't WANT to do it, I swear!!
     
    Patrick and I decided to clean out the flower pots and flower bed today so that when we are ready to plant, the containers are also ready. They were full of dead plants and flowers.
     
    The first few pots were easy, we just had to remove the dead flowers from the center of the pots, and we left the evergreen plants in there, as they are already starting to perk up for spring. We then moved on to the side of the house where the flower bed is. It is about 5' by 10' bed, and it had lots of remnents from last year's garden.
     
    We started clearing out all the dead stuff, and it seemed never ending. What we were left with was several small patches of grass and some sticks sticking out of the ground. After surveying the bed, Patrick wanted to just gut the whole thing. I decided we should just dig everything up and start over since I have no idea what was planted, what was weeds, and how to take care of whatever started to grow since I didn't know what it was.
     
    So we did it. We dug it all up. Over and over I kept asking God to forgive me, for I knew not what what I was doing. I'd dig up what looked like a blade of grass and find a little bulb on the end. I'd look at the dead sticks and start to pull, only to find a substantial root system existed.
     
    I am going to burn for this sin against nature. The former owner would probably have a nervous breakdown if she knew what we did today.
     
    I keep trying to convince myself it was the right thing becuase we would know what was planted and how to properly maintain it. I try to remind myself it is okay because now we get to choose what WE like intead of what the old owner liked.
     
    Please tell me it is okay! My heart has been breaking all day!!!
     
     
    Kristen
  20. givincare
    I had three days off in a row: Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. That never happens! It felt almost like a mini vacation. I am also now convinced that if I could voluntarily never work again, I could find ways to keep myself happily occupied.
     
    Sunday was a pretty lazy day, it took me forever to get motivated to actually get out of bed. I bet it was 1pm before I was showered and dressed for the day. OH WELL!!! Brandon had his cousin and a friend spend the night, so I did get up and make the whole family french toast. It is one of my specialties, and even though I had to do it a bit differently than I prefer, it was still quite yummy. A great way to start a lazy day!
     
    Monday Patrick and I drove to the local nurseries and landscaping stores. We have two projects this spring, and I am rather clueless about both. The first is our flowergarden and planters. We have over 20 planters throughout our yard plus a raised flower bed, and I have not a clue what are in them. (We moved-in in Nov.) I was just going to wait a while to see what did or didn't pop up, but in truth I would let a weed grow waiting for it to bloom.
     
    Patrick has decided he would rather us choose and plant all new plants and flowers. I got a catalog the other day, so I had him thumb through it and show me what he likes. Typical guy, he likes the flowers that are Denver Nugget's colors (pale blue and yellow)! I told him I would go for some NUGGETS flowers, but that we need some other colors too. It will be a little while yet before we order them, but he seems really excited about being the caretaker of our flowers. I am excited about him getting outside and having a hobby!
     
    The other project we want (ok, I WANT) is to install patio pavers in the back yard. Our yard is half gravel and half grass. I would like to turn the gravel half into an actual patio where I can set our fire pit and eventually a "conversation patio set". It is not that difficult a project, it's just going to require alot of physical work. And a decent chunk of change. I have been running all over comparing paving prices, and reading as much as I can to install them. I think I will tackle it during my vacation in April.
     
    Tuesday, Patrick was a little bummed out. I decided on the spur of the moment we needed to enjoy the scenery we moved out here for. We drove up to Estes Park, about 40 minutes away, and grabbed a bite to eat at The Smiling Elk. The elk was probably really smiling because we had beef burgers instead, saved an elk. The view from the restaurant was really nice, and for a moment we felt like typical tourists. It was fun. while driving back down, I had been hoping I would see a buckle goat (it's really big horn sheep- but for an unknown reason my niece calls them buckle goats). I had only seen my first one last October after many vacations furiously scanning the mountain-sides for them. That was when we went around a bend and came across a herd right there on the side of the road! It was awesome! The trip seemed to cheer Patrick up.
     
    Overall, the three days off were full of us ON-THE-GO. It was really cool to have some time to hang out as a couple and as a family!
     
    Kristen
  21. givincare

    Tom

    By givincare,

    Tom is a "regular" who comes into the restaurant usually on Mondays and Fridays. He is probably in his eighties, although I have never asked. As a matter of fact, I ask very few questions of him. Usually, I listen.
     
    He has his regular server, Angie, who waits on him. She was the first waitress he had at our restaurant after he and his wife moved here from California two or three years ago. They "got such a kick out of her" they requested her every time since. Tom even says Angie is his "adopted daughter". Whatever she needs, he will be there for her. And he has.
     
    Nowdays it is just Tom. Tom's wife had a fall shortly after their move, and has never been back to her old self. During her rehabilitation, they also discovered she had dementia. She apparently had turned violent, and has been in a "dementia lodge" (as Sue would put it) ever since.
     
    I know it is hard on Tom, not having his wife home and knowing he can't take care of her needs himself. But by the same token, he has peace knowing that she is in a lovely facility where they take excellent care of her. He goes to visit her often, and says it's gets harder each time; she wants to know when he will let her come home.
     
    He also spends alot of time with his grandchildren. His grandson, about 12 I think, is taking karate. Tom takes him to karate twice a week and is his sponsor. His grandaughter is 15 and wants him to teach her to drive. He declined saying he would make her nervous and she would scare the hell out of him. Instead he is looking forward to when vollyball starts up again in September. He says he has a ball watching her play.
     
    When Tom comes in, I usually try to sit down with him towards the end of his meal. I have to wait a bit because we could sit there all day, and in reality, I need to be there for ALLl the guests and crew. So I wait until he is closer to leaving to sit down.
     
    He always has a story to tell. But unlike some "story-tellers", there is a sense of solemness and wisdom in his stories. He doesn't tell them to be entertaining or to get a laugh; he tells them so you understand his perspective of why he believes what he believes. He is a philosipher. And yet he never takes life too seriously. He rolls with what life has handed him and believes that it is the way it is suppose to be.
     
    He has told me about his childhood and how he and his two sisters and brother had to choose which parent to live with after his parents divorced. Two kids went with his mom, he and another with his dad. He says he had wondered at times on what had missed out on, not living with his mom and the other two kids. But then he decided he had missed nothing; he couldn't miss something he never knew about. In fact, he said for all he knew, there were things he may have been "damn lucky to miss". No sense wondering about the "what if's".
     
    The life lessons continue every time he comes in. Sometimes, I disagree as they are merely a reflection of the culture/era he grew up in. But most times, he gives me comfort. He reminds me life is just life, no need for self-pity. He shows me I can handle whatever comes my way, even when I think I can take no more. I will get through it, and this time will be a memory before I know it- for better or worse. He tells me you can never go back- and he couldn't be more right. The past is the past. Enjoy today instead.
     
     
    Kristen
  22. givincare
    Las Vegas!
     
    We arrived about 930am and managed to get to our hotel by 10:30. I had expected to just check our luggage then check into the hotel around 3-4pm, but when we got to the front desk, they actually allowed us to check in.
    That was awesome to have a few minutes to settle into our room and refresh ourselves a bit before hitting the strip.
     
    After we pulled ourselves back together, we headed across the street to the Bellagio hotel to partake in their lunch buffet. We heard it was one of the best ones on the strip, and the long line supported that theory. We didn't mind though, again it was a chance to relax for a bit. The buffet was very good, and I thought Patrick was going to need an insulin injection after all the desserts he ate! I asked him which one was his favorite, and all he could say was, "Apples and oranges!". I guess they all held a special place in his heart.
     
    We continued to walk the strip, heading over to Caesar's Palace. We walked through it a bit, window shopping at all the stores I would never be able to afford an actual purchase. It's okay though, I don't need a $500 purse, although I might be able to find a use for a $10,000 diamond pendant or ring. Someday...
     
    By this time we decided to go back to our room so Patrick could change his outfit (what a girl-lol). My feet were starting to hurt already, so sitting for a bit appealed to me anyway. After taking a brief nap, I contimplated putting those shoes back on. And contimplated it some more. And looked at the blisters that had already formed on my big toes and my little toes. So I put them on with tears in my eyes and went straight to the shopping area in our hotel. There was only one store with shoes, so I was determined I was not leaving it till I found the most confortable pair. Cost was not an issue at this point. I found a pair of rather ugly, super-comfy shoes that were around $70. More than I usually spend, but worth it. My feet felt great the rest of the trip.
     
    We walked along the strip, trying to make our way to the Mandalay Bay where we were going to see a band at the House of Blues that night. We walked F O R E V E R. Funny how close they look, but you never seem reach your destination! I guess the size of the hotels makes them seem closer.
     
    After we finally calapsed into our seats at the HOB, we were spent. It was only 7pm! The show started at 8pm, and both bands (Reckless Kelly, and headliners- Big Head Todd and The Monsters) were AWESOME! They both put on great shows, and BHTM played until 1130pm! When we left, there was no chance of walking back, so we grabbed a cab. Worth every penny.
     
    We had planned to get something to eat back at our hotel, but we got there just after midnight and everything was closed. We were off again looking, and even the Barbary Coasts 24hour restaurant was closed! How frustrating! I eventually gave up and told Patrick I couldn't go on, I didn't care how hungry I was. It was after 1am when we got back to our room with a bag of Doritos from the vending machine.
     
    The next day we went to the Paris buffet for breakfast which was also good. Did I mention we were STARVING?
     
    After that, we were back on the strip and decided which hotel we had to visit before leaving. We decided MGM Grand, New York New York, The Venitian, and The Mirage were the must-sees of the day. We purchased monorail tickets to make it easier, but I am not sure if it really helps in the long run or not. You have to walk so far through the hotel to get to the monorail that I think its about the same. Oh well, I liked sitting for a few minutes.
     
    All the hotels were fun, Patrick liked MGM best, I am not sure. NY NY was cool, I have never been to the real city, so it was fun to have a taste of it without the muggings. I liked the Mirage alot too.
     
    We finally went back to our hotel to retrieve our luggage and put a few dollars in the slots. I came out a little ahead, Patrick blew all of his. It was fun.
     
    We got to the airport by 6pm and touched down in Denver by 10:50pm (denver time). We found our car and pulled into our driveway around 12:45am.
     
    Whew! It was a whirlwind trip, but SO MUCH FUN!
    We need a vacation now to recover.
     
    Talk to you all soon,
    Kristen
  23. givincare

    Taking a trip!

    By givincare,

    I have done something kinda crazy and impulsive, and I am so excited about it!
     
    A few weeks ago, I was window shopping on the internet for a cheap get-away to anywhere. After looking at what was being offered, I saw some deals that I thought might actually be possible. I showed Patrick how much it would cost us for a hotel and plane tickets, and we decided to go for it!
     
    The really crazy part is NOT us deciding to go on the spur of the moment. It is actually because of how long we are leaving for.
     
    Our flight leaves around 8am Tuesday, and our return flight arrives home around 11pm Wednesday! For all intents and purposes, we will be gone all of 39 hours!
     
    We are both really excited about it though, it is our first trip to this city, the first "vacation" with just the two of us (at least where we got on a plane), and the first real trip anywhere since Patrick's stroke.
     
    Today we went shopping for supplies; you know- new outfit, new shoes (which I plan to wear all day tomorrow to break in), new sneakers for Patrick (no need to break those in!), some movie-star sunglasses (which patrick picked out for me!), and a mini- purse that will hold my ID and my card/cash and nothing else. How much fun!!!
     
    I am planning on only packing a carry-on bag so we don't waste time checking and retreiving luggage, after all, how much can you need for overnight??? I have also been buying travel size products since the airports regulate the amounts of liquids you can carry on. I should have no problems, I don't need much!!!
     
    We are doing this on my scheduled days off, no special time off needed. I am probably going to go back to work wore out instead of rejuvinated, BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT!
     
    I will tell everyone how it went when we get back! In the meantime, more shopping to do tomorrow!!
     
     
    :pokerface:
    Kristen
  24. givincare

    A Matter of Time

    By givincare,

    "It's only a matter of time". I've heard that phrase a million times, but never thought too much about what it really means. Isn't everything only a matter of time when it comes right down to it?
    ************************************
     
    Stevie Ray Vaughan wrote this song, which has always been a favorite of mine. It has as beautiful of a melody as it does lyrics. If you are not familiar with the song, I HIGHLY encourage you give it a listen (a link is at the bottom of the page). It appeals to everyone who enjoys music- not just a single genre. I like to think that Stevie's dream came true for him after he was killed in a plane crash.
     
    I am now dedicating this song to Grandma, who only has A Matter of Time.I hope this dream comes true for her, too.
     
    Kristen
     
    Tick Tock
    By Stevie Ray Vaughan
     
    One night while sleeping in my bed
    I had a beautiful dream
    That all the people of the world got together
    On the same wavelength
    And began helping one another
    Now in this dream universal love was the theme of the day
    Peace and understanding and it happened this way
     
    The sick, the hungry, had smiles on their faces
    The tired and the homeless had family all around
    The streets and the cities were all beautiful places
    And the walls came tumblin' down
     
    People of the world all had it together
    Had it together for the boys and the girls
    And the children of the world look forward to a future
     
    Remember
    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
    Time's tickin' away
    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
    Time's tickin' away
     
    I had a vision of blue skies from sea to shining sea
    All the trees in the forest stood strong and tall again
    Everything was clean and pretty and safe for you and me
    The worst of enemies became the best of friends
     
    People of the world all had it together
    Had it together for the boys and the girls
    And the children of the world look forward to a future
     
    Remember
    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
    Time's tickin' away
    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
    Time's tickin' away
     
    Remember that, remember that
    Remember that, remember that
     
    People of the world all had it together
    Had it together for the boys and the girls
    And the children of the world look forward to a future
     
    Remember
    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
    Time's tickin' away
    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
    Time's tickin' away
     
    The Song
  25. givincare
    Things have changed since the last posting about Grandma. My step-dad made another trip to see Grandma last weekend. I sent him a few communication boards to try and use with her, and my mom had sent a music box for Dad to play for her.
     
    He felt that when he saw her on Friday, she responded well to the music box which I believe plays "Amazing Grace". He also used a communication board her speech pathologist has given her, and he felt that while she could not POINT to the appropriate answers, she did STARE at the appropriate ones. It was encouraging.
     
    Then came Saturday.
     
    She seemed totally different this day, and much less responsive. When she was asked to look at one of her daughters, she looked at every person in the room as if to say, "I know I am suppose to look..." but it was not directed at one person. She seemed more agitated than on Friday as well. Another person noticed her breathing was somewhat strange; nothing you would necessarily notice unless you were really watching.
     
    Before the trip was over, there came the final blow to hope for Grandma's recovery: she was diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma. Because of her age, the affects of the stoke, and because radiation is the treatment, the kids (my step-dad and his two sisters) decided not to treat the lymphoma. They all feel this is the decision Grandma would make for herself if she were able to communicate her wishes.
     
    All we can do now is hope for this last time in her life to be as peaceful and pain-free as possible. She has enjoyed a good, long life.
     
    Kristen