yellowcar

Karen- Hang in there sweetheart! You are not alone! I think for every "high" you get when you see some progress or improvement, you fall a bit further when there is a set-back or you hit a plateau. I just try to remember that it's not always realistic to see continuous progress w/o some kind of break or plateau. I try to see plateaus as a "good thing", like they stay at this one point to really get good at it, to master that level, before they can move on. Maybe I'm just doing this to keep my own spirits up...but it works for me. Also please acknowledge what others have said - that caregivers also must grieve for what they've lost. In my situation I had to grieve the loss of the part of my father that was my number one supporter, who loved me unconditionally, who protected me and who nurtured me. But at Thanksgiving I felt that I was truly blessed to have him alive at all!!! While I wish he had never had the stroke - I'm happy he's alive! And now it's my turn to be all these things for him. I've learned that children can love their parents unconditionally! I'm grateful for my therapist - who helped my understand that my loss is no less significant than his physical loss, who helped me understand that I need to grieve in order to be able to be a good caregiver, and who has taught me that I can be sad and still feel blessed that he's alive all at the same time.... and that some times, it's okay to feel sorry for myself because my life has changed...but also that I need to be very proud of all of my accomplishments as a caregiver. Karen, you're doing a great job. It's a mighty tough job - that you probably never thought of applying for - but you're up to the challenge. Remember to love yourself and to be your own caregiver sometimes. You need to recharge your batteries to have strength to carry on! Yellowcar.