bstockman

I am making snow angels for all you caregivers.. I am a survivor that does not need a caregiver now, only for a short time. I count my blessngs. You all have a bushel fful of hugs from me. when its empty let me know.. I will send more.. there is an un-ending supply. HUGS (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((oodles of them)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Bonnie

Hi MC , I'm sorry your visit is put off for a bit. I'm not sure of your parents ages, but... maybe it will be a better time. The stress of the Holiday gone, I'm sure getting around in the snow is not eassy either. Your mom may be a little "afraid" of the welcome or visit also. May a few phone calls from you between now and when they come may help ease the first meeting. Wishing you and Andre a very Happy Holiday, Bonnie

Bart, I am so very happy to read this blog. Cheers to you and Kelly, Happy Holidays, and a Bright New year ot you both, Best wishes, Bonnie

Your blog is wonderful to read. I am so glad you will be getting involved to help other stroke survivors. We each have to hit our own low's sometimes; before we find our way back up. Glad you are feeling better. warmly, Bonnie

I hope all goes well for you all. Life is to short... as we all know. Maybe they realize since you and Andre have been together it is a good thing for you. My sister and I didn't talk for quite a few years.. we made up and although 3,000 miles apart. We talk and exchange photos.. it is so nice to have her in my life again. Wishing the very best for you and your family. Bonnie

I know you have not had much of an appetite lately and a bad taste in your mouth. Some medications can cause a weid metallic taste, and also give you diarrhea. You should cll the Dr's office and see if one of your meds could be causing the problem. They may have an alternative medication you can use. Make sure you drink water.. and stay hydrated. You don't want to get de-hydrated on top of everything else. A couple symptoms of dehydration are dark or decreased urine, the urine being a dark color. getting dehyrdrated can also throw your elecrolytes off.... so please call the Dr.

I am clumsy well okay.. I am clumsier than I used to be. Yes the dogs line up, when mom is in the kitchen. Donna's idea is a good one. maybe mix the coffee so you start decreasing the caffeine. I remember, I spilled (dropped) a huge glass of red fruit punch, I was carrying outside ..my husband looked at me and said why did you do that? I looked at him and said... " I wanted to see what 12 ounces of red punch looked liked on blue carptet.. " (hmph)... If you are going to ..go off caffeine,.. wean off of it, otherwise you can get some "whopping" headaches" Did the Dr tell you why? I know there are some Dr's who say to stop and others say some is ok. ??? Bonnie

I have (in the past ) gone out early shopping.. definately NOT 4 am. I did venture out Friday... John's friend came over.. and the 2 of them picked up tools, saws, hammers and decided to finish installing the "French Doors" from family room to living room (ahhm that John started last year). So I decided ... I'm outta here. I hit 3 stores.. Sales run from early am until noon or 1 pm anyway. I hit 3 stores.. last one just a short ... go thru to see if anything "jumped" out and to pick up some "household" items anyway. Hope you find some relief for your arm. The cold weather.. doesn't do much good for aches and pains. Happy Holidays.

Hi and Welcome.. as othes said... you write.. we will come.. LOL There are several books in the Bookstore here on site.. We have a couple members who have written books, or articles. We have a monthly newsletter and Lyn is always looking for articles, or strories. I believe the February issues is having areas for writers to submit. looking forward to reading more. Welcome, Bonnie

Hi Jean, good to have you pop in. Happy Thanksgiving to you Don and Levi. glad to here you are doing well. Bonnie

Hi gramma, It is much easier to say.. be kinder to yourself, than it is to actually do it. Frustration seems to come hand in hand with stroke. Slowing down and practice seem to help. In the beginning I could not even finish a hand of solataire on the computer, each time i was on the computer it became a bit easier and I could be on longer. I practiced with card games and Mahjjong (matching games) Our injuries.. for the most part are invisible, thought, reading, focus etc. With reading, I started with mgazines, short stories, I have only completed a few books post stroke, but I am reading a book now. I used to devour books.... With slowing down, and practice things will come back. I still have days when phone numbers or words escape me. ... I have learned ..look it up, the next day it will probably be back soon. Frustraition sometimes helps us get motivated or challenged. You are not stupid.. you have had a brain injury.... Bonnie

Are you studying differently? Some people learn differently. By taking notes ...writing things down and then re-reading your notes. Some people learn by listening. talk into a tape recorder and then listen to the tape. Highlight the important parts of the book, go back and re-read what you highlighted. Learning is not osmosis.. for most people. Are you thinking of other things in your class, and not focusing on the teacher or assignment. Maybe the excitement, newness has worn off, so it is routine, and maybe a bit boring... so your enthuiasm is gone. With all the voluneering maybe you are getting overtired. After volunteering. Take time to adjust.. have some food, and get into a more calm and change gears to focus. Instead of thinking of all the classesTh at once.. set your time and priority, which class or project needs more focus . Do that one first, take a short break, and then re-focus on the next project. Don't take it as a WHOLE... look at each.. one at a time. set a timer.. study for 30 minutes or an hour. When the timer goes off. Take 10 minutes.. and then onto the next. Thinking about every thing at one time is overwhelming. I have been helping my husband at his shop.. When he rattled off all the things I had to compile, I wanted to sit in the corner and cry. When I made a list and tackled each section one at a time, I could cross it off my list. I could feel accomplishment. Set a routine and schedule... making sure you put time in there for eating, listening to music or ? whatever in between to give your brain time to rest and re-set for the next task You need to worry about Your own expectations of yourself.. not whateverone else thinks. This is YOUR dream YOUR education .. don't dump it on someone else.. Ask about a tutor, or go to the professor and ask to see your paper, or ask what brought your grade down, and what you can DO to better it. And you need to get Sleep, and food. to keep your body and mind in good working order.

Hi Bart, Stroke is so sudden.. in one moment everything is changed. Change is not always a bad thing. You have been injured.. just as if you would have had some other type of injury, it takes time. Sometimes it feels as if it is at a "snails pace" . IT sucks.. no other word for it .. I agree. I have there is still a GOOD quality of life, and enjoyment. Right now you feel betrayed... by your mind and body. I could do these things.. before. Well we have to remember .. it is NOT before , it is NOW, a few weeks or months, after an injury. We have to rest, and work hard. Cheer and be Happy and celebrate every improvement. You will get ceative.. on how to do things in what ever way is easiest for you. I am 5 yrs post stroke now. No I still don't like it that I had a stroke, but I am happy to watch my grandchildren grow, have time with my husband, play with my dogs. etc. Life has not stopped. We ae still on the merry go round, but now we are going a little slower.. We are for survivors.. for what reason? I don't know, but I do know, after some of my own pity parties, some hard work and adjustment.. I am GLAD to be here. Your not alone, we are here, we have survived. I look around and I see many, many more people with worse things than I have. Then I try to stop.. and count my blessings. My dad always said " IF you look, You will Always find someone worse off than you." Hang in there.. some days are rough, and getting over tired,, over doing, ovr thinking, makes every thing worse... Rest when you need, do what you can, Remember "It is Always Too Early To Give Up" Bonnie

Great Blog Leah .. The first year definately SUCKS. there is so much going on .. and re-learning, etc. Like Kathy about 2 1/2 yrs. I decided ... I needed to accept the changes, I didn't have to like it.. but I learned to like myself. There is change in life daily. I gained some weight also, not being as active as I once was. I have lost some of it. so that mademe Happy. I also had/have the tendency to try to pack to much into one day, week . I am learning, to slow down, and after a Big day to expect to be tired, and take some time. I am learning to slow down.. if it doesn't get done today.. oh well. Maybe writing things on a calendar or pocket planner.. you can say ok 2 appointments a week. or the day before a party or event No appointments. ((((((((((hugs)))))))) Bonnie

Sue you are amazing.... so please put your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder ... now squeeze... this is a huge big hug from me.. I know it is an extra expense, or don't know if you could get them medically covered, could you use some (we call them Chux pads) they are blue plastic on one side and soft absorbent tissue on the other. they come in a few sizes.. maybe you could put some under wherever Ray sits for now. Also maybe you could phone the Dr and see if Ray could take some imodium (an anti-diarrhea) med along with the new med for a few weeks. Can he have more cheese or foods that may help firm up his stool. like bannanas, rice, toast a bit on the dark side.. here they call it BRAT diet for diarrhea. bannanas, rice, apple and toast. I will keep good thoughts that the respite care comes thru.. for you as well as ray. warm hugs, bonnie

Hi Bart, I was paralyzed for a short time, my arm and hand came back first... i didn't have much control over it, and actually acted as if it had its own mind forawhile. I did learn control again over time. There is a Book. I think it is our book store ...Living one handed in a two handed world" or something similar. I know there are some utensils, and aids available also. A rocker knife can be useful. A friend had someone drive a nail through a cutting board. so the sharp point sticks up a bit. She can put pieces of meat, vegetables, fruit on the nail to cut. I also know a couple people who have bought small key boards, they attach to the computer with a USB cord, most of the keys can be reached with one hand. I am 5 yrs post stroke..don't ever give up, tasks will become easier and you will get creative learning how to do things. Bonnie

Congrats on finishing the class and you first painting. WOW that is Wondeful. I know the feeling of acomplishment and pride you must be feeling. A new Monet We have extended family, John and I have been together 18 years, and when the " kids" mom is visitng sometimes we are all together. We get along fine, and I try to remember I would not have this extended family.... 2 lovely stepchildren and 3 beautiful grandchildren if it wern't for her.. (LOL) Yes some days .. when I feel a "blue funk" I smile (sometimes it is more of a grimance) in the mirror. I say ..."you can have a Good Day or a Bad.. your choice" I then think of at least 3 things I am grateful for and make me happy... husband, grandchildren, my pets. I think with dark comin on so early ... and not being able to get sun we somtimes get sad. They do have lights now.. so you get the right UV rays some people have depression from not getting enough sunlight. your cookies sound delightful and I know the kiddies will love them. hmmm sounds like my favorite veggie too. Bonnie

Wow the time has flown by.. yes it doesn't seem that long ago you were telling us you would be a Grandma. Just think how exciting now though, with email, Web cams and photo sharing .. not quite as good as being there, but certainly helps . Look forward to hearing the Happy News, Bonnie

For my husbands side of the Family... we do one of 2 things.. we either draw names.. and have a $$$ limit. or we have a gift exchange. ech family (adults) take 2 gifts (also a $ limit) and we chose numbers.. then next person can "steal" a gift ( a gift can only be stolen 2 times) I have made baskets.. one was a family theme with movies ..popcorn .. and some of the large sizes of movie tpe candies. One was a basket with wine and glasses and those little trinkets you put on the glasses so you know whose glass is whose. one basket was cheese, a cheese board, summer sausage.. I also crohet.. you take cute kitchen towels.. cut them in half and crochet across the top so they can hang on the stove or refrigeraor handle. ( I try to keep some of those made up incase I need an "unexpected gift" I also crochet around the plastic round kitchen scrubbers ( free crochet patterns on line) i do some in colors to match the kichen towels. A few year John and I have gone out for dinner.. and do shopping late evenings.. most stores have late evening hours.. and we found it to be much less crowded at those times. ( A nap during the day.. for a late night of shopping...

Ann and family, I am sorry to hear of your loss. Choe will be remembered with love and "honor" what a wonderful & delightful person.. it's wonderful her organs could be used in transplant. to make others happy. sending hugs and warm wishes to you all. Bonnie

Donna, I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I am glad to hear she talked t Kristi and also you gt to hear she loved you. I'm sorry to hear of her ishes for Angel... but maybe she didn't think anyone could take her, or that angel would still be her comfort. take time to grieve, but don't get stucck in the " IF I's" you didn't know. you r mom possible did.. and this was her choice... remember the better happy times together. Your mom will be with you both in your hearts and memories. hugs, Bonnie

We have 5 acres here, one section has clover.. but i like it, and I LOVE seeing the bees.. as so many honey bees died .. from mites or?? we also look for bargains. I use a pressure cooker or "simmer" less costly cuts of meat to make them tender.. your friend has a great attitude.. Bonnie

Sue, I think your daughter should know. Keepin up "appearances" .... is pretty hard on the shoulders. Your daughter should be aware of her dads condiion, but also that you have a LOT to do and how wonderful a mother, wife and carefiver you are. .. Life is not always "normal" Your daughter and son in law are in the business of "caring and understanding.... your phone chats with your daughter could be more open and undetstandding.. Do you have boy scout type groups there? maybe you could contact one, some of the boys could come help with the yard or outside work. please take care.... you do soooo much, Bonnie

Okay you are young.. we have had other young survivors here.. a baby , a 9 yr old etc. Maybe you should go to the hospital and walk aound the stroke ward or volunteer 2 hrs a weeek there. I was NOT ready to retire to give up a GOOD paying job, with benefits that I ENJOYED.. I DO NOT like the cognitive deficits I have. I could NOT go to College or take classes .... I consider the stroke I had extremely mild, and I Thank God every day for the things I can do.. that I RE learned how to do. YES i get down sometimes. Yes I was 54 when stroke entered my life.. but I was not ready..... Look at the kids born with MS or deformorties.. do you think any of them ASKED for them. Wouldn't we all love to be what we think of as perfect? If you are having fmily prblems again. I think you better get to your counselor. or some family counseling. Not many people get a free ride........ you get what you get.. you learn to live with it and work with it..

Good for you , you are so Right.. push, and try... and don't give up... but we finally realize that some goals may be a bit out of reach.. and as life changes.we change also. So pat yourselff on the back. I know hwat you mean about getting an idea and getting focused.. I did that for awhile.. it seems to be a bit better now.. I would never have attempted to cut my own hair.. I know many people who do ( and I went to Beauty school when I was young) but only attempted my own bangs.. and that was not always good..LOL I am glad your hairdresser could re do your hair. I remember the first day I was left alone.. I thought oh... hmmm soup.. then i couldnt figure out how to use the can opener.. ) probably was a good thing, as I'm not sure I would have done well at that point getting hot soup out of the microwave. MY Physical therapist had me start with a pan of cold water.. to practice getting it from the sink t the stove and back.... so if you do practice in the kitchen start with cold water so you can get the feel of the pan or bowl or?? and then if you dump it you will be chilly but not injured. also a rocker knife .. I had one that was a hard plastic bowl with a rocker knife.. the bowl even had a little piece on the lip to attach the knife when done to keep them together. Congrats on your 3 years... Bonnie