MargaretMary

Life keeps me so busy now and in so many different directions. Idon't get in here as often anymore. At one time I wanted to almost live here. I am not sorry about the way things have changed in my life over the past several months, I am just tired and need to keep moving on. Since Dick had his stroke 5 1/2 years ago, the journey has been an eyeopener to many and a closing of the door to even more. There are even some in here that have closed minds and closed the doors and believe that their opinion is the only one that counts. I don't want to deal with that anymore. I will just walk away from that kind of mentality from now on. So what if I don't believe the same way you do, If you don't like me for who I am, that is your problem not mine. :dribble: Well, enough of the rambling. I will be back. Margaret (MM)

This day/weekend means so many different things to me. Of course the rememberance of all of our soldiers is first on the list. I come from a long line of military people in my family. And Dick is also a veteran of the USAF. I salute ALL who have given their time and their lives to keep us America, land of the free and home of the Brave. :forgive_me?: Flowers are placed on graves and tears are shed. This is also the weekend I try to have my garden in by. Well, I have half of it in. I did not make my self enforced deadline, but it wasn't for lack of trying. :blush: The garden is a bit larger than I have put in in the past. I am hoping to make a go of a small roadside stand this year to earn a little extra money. Since I lost my medical insurance the Dr. bills are pilling up. Everyone says I have a green thumb or two so, maybe this will work out......... This weekend is also the unofficial start to the summer. We opened our daughters pool and swam in fridged water. :yikes: I think I am getting too old for freezing my ninnies off like that. The family and friends all come for 1, 2 or 3 days and we party. So much food goes through my kitchen that I should put in a revolving door. When I take all the pop cans back to the store I have to make 3 trips, or they won't let me in. But a good time is had by all. This year everyone brought their quads and anything else motorized they could ride. #3 daughter was the first to run her quad through the swamp and flip it over. She had to find one of her shoes in all the mud. She was officially named "The Swamp Thing." What a muddy mess, with a big smile on her face. Ahhh, the great warm weather, I love summer. It is finally here!

Wow, 63 guests on and 1 member. Me. Middle of the night and I am the only member awake. I am talking to myself :chat: LOL Oh well, I have been a night owl for so long now. Sleep is like a far away dream to me. Richard has been enjoying being able to drive the tractor around on the farm. It gives him a freedom he really enjoys. He forgot how bumpy and tiring it was though. After he disced up one field for me he was tired, but a happy tired. I could see some of the old Richard back in him again. The garden is slowly but surely getting planted. I think the weather is finally going to cooperate. My plants are all screaming to get in the ground, and the seeds are going to sprout in the packages. The peas are starting to climb the fence and I watch them daily. I so love fresh peas from the garden. I think they are like a watched pot though. Tucker, the lab, caught the nasty mole that ate all my radishes in the garden. I can't say I am too upset about the radishes because I really can't stand the darn things, but my son-in-law loves 'em. I grow them for him. Little Red was born Tuesday morning. He weighed in at 70 lbs and looks just like his daddy, our bull. HIs name is Rump Roast. The grandbabies sure liked going out to see the baby moo. It is fun to see the new things in life through their little eyes and small vocabulary. They may not know many words but they get their point across. Moo=Cow, Arf = Dog, Nana = Grandma, and Papa is Grandpa. Vroom Vroom = car, lets go for a ride. I sure like being an Grandma. Mom was right, if you could skip being a Mom and go right to Grandma, life would be great. :uhm: Well, maybe not, but it sounds good sometimes. :Soapbox: :farmer:

The weather is finally co-operating. I had Dick out on the tractor this week discing up the fields. He loves it so much. I love to watch his face as he goes by on Big Blue (Our 9600 Ford tractor) For just an instant I can see the pre-stroke man again. When he came in for dinner, he had such a self satisfied look on his face. He couldn't wait to get back out there. :Clap-Hands: My new garden area is now ready to plant. 2 acres of beautiful rich soil to grow a multitude of fresh veggies. In the old garden my peas,beets, radishes, swiss chard and onions are all up and reaching for the sky. The rhubarb is almost ready to start picking and making the first fresh rhubarb pie of the season. When the strawberries start then strawberry/Rhubarb pie. I really need to get aspearagrass going. I hate having to buy it when I know I can grow it. It just takes so long to get the root established. I did put horseradish in a few years ago and now I get all the fresh horseradish I want. It was worth the wait. My plants are taking over my house and our daughters house right now, but it still totaly amazes me how you get such a wonderful plant from even the tiniest of seed. Each year I pray that God will watch over my garden and make it abundant for the good of many. Tomorrow the red potatoes will be planted and then the purple ones. They sure have a wonderul flavor.

It has been a while since I have been in here to write. It is getting harder to write anything down. I do come in and read every now and then just to keep up on everyone, but I know that I have missed a lot. I have been on a journey that has been a long soul searcher, and I am afraid that it is far from over. I can truly understand how one can take their own life, but I know that is not something I can do. I understand why people drink or do drugs to get away from the realities of life, but that also is not for me. I was made a strong person, and somewhere I lost a lot of that strength. I want it back and I want it now. As in the poem "Footprints" my foot prints are not there because Jesus is carrying me right now. I have to believe that someone can carry me for a while.

Mary, Many prayers are being sent your way. For you and your Mom. God bless. Margaret

I understand what you are saying Steph. I too am addicted to nicotine and I will quit smoking. It just has not happened yet. Good luck on your end and keep trying. Thanks for the chat by the way. I enjoyed it. Soon. Margaret

:friends: (((((((((((Gary))))))))))) Hugs are always good even when you are not down. I think we need to give them a bit more around here.

Oh Sue, my heart goes out to you. Days like you have had are so hard to take sometimes. I wish I could give you a big hug. I understand and my prayers are with you,

Dear Pam, Thanks for the poem. It is a day brightener for me Margaret

Since Dick had his stroke we have tried to take one day at a time. Somewhere along the line I forgot to stay on that track. :bop: The love that I have for my husband is more than I could ever put into words. He is trying so hard to be strong for us through this new journey in our lives. We were hoping for a quiet weekend, the kids gone now, and grandbaby on trip with mommy and daddy, but dear friends knowing we are hurting show up to make sure we are OK. Bless their hearts, they are only trying to help. Tonight dick and I sat joking about Monday morning. We are going to sleep in till 10, not answer the phone, forget answering the door, leave the tv off and just hold eachother listening to the peaceful quiet of the day. All of a sudden he stood up and said, "boy that was a nice dream, back to reality." It was a nice dream.

We always called it a "Slice of Sunshine." Isn't it funny how people may be eating or doing the same things but call it something different?