caringfor5

Stroke Survivor - male
  • Posts

    86
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About caringfor5

  • Birthday 09/28/1971

Contact Methods

  • ICQ
    0
  • Yahoo
    tnwelling@yahoo.com

Shared Information

  • Facebook URL
    http://www.myspace.com/tnwelling

Registration Information

  • State
    Illinois

caringfor5's Achievements

Member

Member (3/10)

  1. Happy Anniversary caringfor5!

  2. Happy Anniversary caringfor5!

  3. Happy Anniversary caringfor5!

  4. Thank you so much for your replies, all of them, I have a lot of things to think about and I'm glad I have a chance to "talk" with so many people survivors and caregivers as well about how I feel and the decisions we need to make. I do think that Mike is getting burned out on therapy and I can totally understand after a year of it that he would be. I'm just so scared that when outpatient therapy is over that he won't want to do much at home, but then I think that maybe he will be more motivated to do it at home when he's not having to leave to go to therapy 3 times a week. I just wish I could figure out how to motivate him again without aggravating him....when he was in the hospital I was the one that could get him to do more and the therapists were counting on me for that....now its the other way around. I guess he's just tired of me, I kind of feel like I have turned into a big nag, and I never had to be before so he probably feels like he's with a different person. I'm not who I used to be and that makes me sad on top of all the other things I feel sad about. I think I really do make him miserable, always being on him to do everything, but at the same time, I don't know how to back off. On a good note, Mike's therapy went well today for OT.....PT was good but he got aggravated and kept saying he was tired. I think he does need a break, so at the end of February if they cut therapy down or stop it all together, I am going to look at it as a good thing and just try to motivate him to at least practice what we're already learning. Thanks again, Tina
  5. Hi again, Its so funny how things happen....here I am talking about possibly making a decision to just throw in the towel as far as therapy for Mike and today the therapists told us that they are looking at possible discharge or at least cutting down to fewer days during the week at the end of February. The weird thing though, is that Mike seemed upset and it almost made me cry because you could tell he didn't want to stop going to therapy. I talked to him and so didn't the therapist about trying to do more at home and that therapy can continue at home and should be ongoing at home right now. I don't know if he understands what we mean though. Sometimes its like he doesn't understand the importance of therapy. The therapists both say that Mike has the strength and range of motion to be much more independent but lacks motor planning to coordinate his muscles to do what he wants. Maybe its just so frustrating that he gives up. Incidentally, he did very well in therapy today and very sweetly told me on the way home that he does it for me I love him very much but I want him to want more for himself, I guess I want him to push himself more, even though its hard and to do it for him. Thanks Jean for the virtual hugs, I really needed them. Tina
  6. Yes Mike is on an anti-depressant, he has been since about a month after the stroke....we did a trial of taking him off of it to see if it was even beneficial to have him on it and it definitely was beneficial since he was way more combative and upset without it. He wasn't a couch potato before but he had a hard time sticking with things that he started. Unfortunately any negative behavior in his personality pre-stroke seems to be magnified ten times now. We haven't been doing a whole lot besides therapy, mainly due to the fact that we just recently got a wheelchair that I can put in the car....the one he came home with doesn't even fold and weighed what seemed like a ton so that kind of kept us housebound other than going to doctor appointments and therapy.....but now we do have a better chair and we have a handicap parking placard for my car so we have been doing a few things like going out to eat and i plan on trying to get out to see a movie or something. I do have fears that he will have a outburst though if he gets frustrated with me about something and that makes me afraid to get out. We've had a few instances where he has gotten very mad at me and yelled at me in public in front of people and loud enough for others to hear. He has been approved for another month at least of outpatient therapy which I am very grateful for so I hope that I can still keep him somewhat wanting to go to therapy and hopefully he will want to start doing more at home. Thanks again, I really value your thoughts on this....I just really don't know what to do sometimes.
  7. Thank you for the reply so quickly. I should mention that Mike has been home and in out patient therapy for 11 months so this is something that has been ongoing for quite some time. He's basically acted this way about therapy from the beginning...it is my feeling that that is the reason why he was only in in-patient rehab for 30 days before discharge....he wouldn't co-operate so they discharged him. Thanks again, Tina
  8. Hi everyone, I have a very unusual question or it seems unusual to me....What I'm wondering is has anyone on here who has suffered a stroke or cares for someone who has....decided to stop going to therapy and move on to acceptance before the therapists have discharged you or them? The reason why I am asking such a question is because although I want Mike to continue on with therapy and to keep trying he doesn't share the same view. He doesn't ever or rarely wants to do therapy at home. He complains on the days that we have an appointment for his therapy. He usually does very well but still loses his temper while at therapy. If I ask him to try to do some kind of therapy type stuff or to try to do something I know he can do (walk with walker, stand during transfer, etc.) he says I'm making things difficult and why do I always have to be this way towards him, why can't I just do it and quit being such a b****. I really don't know what to do....it seems absurd to me that someone would not want to get better and I really feel that he does want to get better but he doesn't want to put the work in to get there. I am starting to come to the conclusion that I am the only one fighting the battle to keep him in therapy and he could care less if it stops or not and also could care less whether he lay in bed all day or not. Everything that I try to push him to do causes fights and I'm starting to think that both my life and his would be better off if I just accepted that he doesn't care whether he gets better than what he is now and just take care of him as if he couldn't do anything for himself.....I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous but I'm just tired of fighting with him.....He won't walk at home, could care less if he feeds himself, dresses himself or does anything for himself for that matter even though there are many things he can do. Anyway, I basically am just wondering if anyone else has dealt with something like this. Thanks for any input.....I'm really at the end of my rope as far as patience on this subject and just don't know if I should just throw in the towel and move on with our lives or should I continue to push even though its causing him to tell me that I'm making him miserable. Tina
  9. Well Mike and I had a wonderful thanksgiving....We were suppose to go to my Grandmothers on my Fathers side of the family but it turned out that Grandma wasn't able to have Thanksgiving dinner because she wasn't feeling well (she's feeling better now) so our plans changed and we went to my Moms parents house for lunch which I originally had decided that we weren't going to attempt to navigate my Grandparents small house. Well I asked Mike if he wanted to give it a try and if it was too crowded we could always come right back home......well it was fine and we both had a really good time seeing everyone. I hadn't been to my Grandmas house in over a year because of everything that has happened and being so busy with Mike. Anyway, we ended up staying there for about two hours. My mom told us that she was planning on getting out all her Christmas decorations that evening and asked if we were planning on coming to their house with the rest of the kids to help put them up. I asked Mike and surprisingly he said that he wanted to go. We ended up being away from our house, together, for about 9 hours.....that is the longest that either one of us has left the house since he's been home. I had so much fun and he seemed so comfortable (my parents do have a lazy-boy that he completely takes over when we're there). It was just a great Thanksgiving, and so nice to be around family for the whole day. We also went to my parents again last night, left the house about 4 and didn't return until about 9:30. Before he was always ready to go as soon as we ate, last night he wanted to stay and watch a movie afterwards. I was thrilled. He's just getting so much stronger and more used to being outside of our house and I finally feel like we are starting to get our social lives back. We always did everything together so I don't really long for time to myself. I long to be able to go to my family gettogethers with each other, and to go shopping and concerts and just hanging out outside of our house like we used to and it feels like our lives are heading back in that direction. :Clap-Hands: All in all we had a great weekend. And to follow in my Mothers footsteps, I got out all the Christmas lights for outside and got them all on the house. Its all decked out for Christmas in twinkling white lights and big red bows and a big wreath on the door. I am wore out but the house looks great......now I just have to tackle the tree. I think I'll wait until next weekend. :party: Tina
  10. Today, Mike went for his first session on the Auto Ambulator. It was so wonderful to watch. It keeps his legs in the perfect position in hopes that he will learn to step more accurately and keep his body in a better position. The thought behind the process is that the brain and muscles will relearn the proper way to hold themselves in alignment from repetitive use. I hope it works because if Mike can get stronger and relearn to keep himself more balanced he could really walk a lot better. He also walked today for the first time with a regular walker. The therapist and I had to hold on for dear life to keep it from getting away from him, but he did pretty good considering he hasn't ever did it before. He has been showing some aggravation the last couple times that he's been at therapy. I've been trying to talk to him about the importance of not showing that your annoyed even if you are. Some things are very hard for him and he has gotten upset a couple of times. His PT tends to pat repeatedly the part of his body that she wants to straighten and it annoys him. I don't know what to do because I know its bothering him but I don't want to tell the therapist that that is why he's getting annoyed. Hopefully he will get used to his new therapists ways or maybe as he gets stronger she won't have to cue him to straighten up so much. I don't know.....he's doing really well but he thinks that she doesn't ever think he's doing anything good enough because she's always correcting something. I tried to explain to him that unless he's walking perfectly that she is going to continue to push him to do it right. All in all everything is going really well though. Tina
  11. Hello to everyone, I just wanted to list some new accomplishments over the last couple of weeks to share and also to keep track of them for myself. It seems Mike is past a plateau, he's starting to do alot of new things lately. For instance...... Put on and take off his shirt with little help from me. Pull on and Push down his own pants with little help besides balance. walking more consistently to and from the bedroom with more controlled balance. taking off his own socks. scanning left to right better to enable him to read full sentences. sitting up on his own from a lying down position with little help from me. he has been able to roll over on his stomach for a while but now can also push himself up onto his elbows. Eating with a regular fork or spoon with little or no spills on a consistent basis....we ate at the cafeteria one day after therapy and he ate everything including his cake without spilling anything....I was very proud. I basically do not feed him at all unless it is something very runny like soup or cereal, which I have no doubt he will be able to do by himself soon. I'm sure there are more things but I'm just not thinking of them right now. I don't know that he really ever was at a plateau but maybe that all the new things are probably from the new therapists pushing him to try to do things that the others didn't because they didn't think he could. Not that they weren't excellent therapists but we needed some new eyes to push him further. The other day at therapy the pt who hadn't ever worked with Mike wasn't aware that his balance isn't the best and was letting him stand while just holding on to her arm......he did fine and was standing really well but I don't think either myself or the other therapists would have ever tried that because we would have been too worried that he would fall......but he didn't, he stood just fine. He's actually never fell so I guess I shouldn't worry about that as much as I do. Recovery never stops......there should be a ban on the 6 month to a year thing that we hear so much about. Tina
  12. after reading Mema, Jean's, Robyn's, and Karen's lists I have some more to add.......movies that I've watched repeatedly but didn't think of them when making my list...... Miracle on 34th Street The Shawshank Redemption Shrek 1 and 2 and even 3D...yes we have all three. Sense and Sensibility Lord of the Rings, all of them Finding Nemo....Dory (Ellen Degeneres) cracks me up. The Notebook and then I thought of some more on my own...... The Green Mile Regarding Henry A Christmas Carol
  13. caringfor5

    My Movies List...

    what a great list......I didn't even think to put Shrek/Shrek 2....oh and you can't forget Shrek 3D, on my list even though I've probably watched those about a gazillion times (literally). I also didn't think of Sense and Sensibility, but remembered Pride and Prejudice.......probably because I just watched the version with Kiera Knightley, though. And I also love the Lord of the Rings movies, but forgot to put them on my list as well. As I read these lists that we're all doing, there are so many movies that I have forgotten about that I really like. Oh and the movie that had you ROTFLMAO.......I'll be looking for that movie, if it made you laugh that hard I need to see it....... tina
  14. Ok here it goes, mine will have no form to it either, just listing them as I think of them. I don;t know if I'll get to 50 though, but I will start with my most favorite in the last two years....... Love Actually...I loved this movie, I was crying in the theatre, I got it as soon as it came out on DVD. now for the rest of the list Sleepless in Seattle The Breakfast Club City of Angels Pride and Prejudice....any of them The Wizard of Oz A Christmas Story....I can watch this over and over and laugh just as hard as the first time Its a Wonderful Life Office Space.....hilarious if you've ever worked in an office and probably even if you haven't Titanic Forrest Gump As Good as it Gets Elf...love watching this with the kids School of Rock Simon Birch Grease Dirty Dancing Fried Green Tomatoes Pretty Woman Steel Magnolias Dead Man Walking American History X Terms of Endearment Where the Heart Is my brains starting to hurt from all this thinking.......i'll have to add more later tina
  15. I just thought I would mention some little improvements Mike has made recently since nothing much else is going on in our lives. Mike is now able to roll over from his back to his stomach while lying in bed. He wasn't able to do this until about two weeks ago. His reading is getting better and better he is finally starting to scan from left to right again and looking for the beginning of the sentence. He has been able to read words since very early on but could not read sentences. He can pick up a regular glass now and tilt it to drink from it and (this is the tricky part) put it back down next to his plate instead of on it. And the peraphin wax treatment for his hand must be working pretty good because he can now wrap his fingers of his left hand around a bottle or can and they will grip it. Until we started the peraphin treatment and stretching his two middle fingers on his left hand would stay straight. Tina