calendulady

Good Day to Everyone, After I read the Strokenet newsletter today, I was reminded that my blog was sitting stagnant for months. I really have no excuses, except I have been bogged down with email from my newly found brother, my son in Iraq, and his Japanese fiance. Most of my time is split between exercises, and emails. But I became very excited about the prospect of joining the bookclub. My husband is running out to get the book so that I can hopefully finish it by September 15th. Here is an update on my life these days ... First of all, I have been having problems with depression, so I now see a therapist and we are working through my issues. Next, my son is out of Iraq ... he arrived back at his base at Camp Pendleton on August 22! he will officially be discharged on October 5, following 10 years of service in the Marine Corps. He will then return to the apt in Okinawa that he and his fiance shared while he was stationed in Japan. My son and his fiance will be visiting me for 2 weeks in November. They have been planning a Thanksgiving at home since for more than a year. I have to help my husband decorate and furnish my son's old bedroom for their visit. I have never met my future daughter-in-law and I haven't seen my son since he came home for his 18th birthday (he is now 26 - turns 27 on Oct 18). You can imagine my excitement. I turned 50 years old on August 6th --- there was no celebration, no cake or candles --- I received a few beautiful cards and I was very happy with the rather normal day as it passed. I think 50 fits me well. I have some wrinkles - who cares. Of course I could do without the age spots on my hands. But at least I don't feel the need to color my hair, since I have no gray to cover. Oh, I am certain that it won't be long, because I am sure that I have earned some gray hair during this past year. Lastly, I will have a chance to meet my brother Steve (age 55) in November when my husband and I take a quick trip to Florida. This is also very exciting for me, because we have shared so many emails, pictures, etc, I just know that we share so many interests. Enough rambling for now ... Happy day to all! Love, Deb

Hello, d - Initially after my stroke, I spent 5 days in the hospital. During that time I was on a low dose of antidepressant (the same medication I had been taking pre-stroke) and my moods were very steady - I don't think the truth had sunk in. On the 6th day I was wheeled out of the hospital, on my way to in-patient therapy at a rehab hospital about 30 miles from home. That was the first time I cried about the stroke. It hit me like a brick. The depression was overwhelming and I needed some counseling from the clergy in the hospital. My medications changed, increasing the dosage plus adding something for anxiety. I even asked my husband to stay home one weekend, because I just wasn't able to face visitors. But I soon learned that each day was a new start --- some days are good days, other days are not. I was very lucky in the speech department - my only problem is that I have trouble finding the right words so I make some funny substitutions when speaking. Most times, the mood changes may not have anything to do with a specific person or thing or conversation --I think most depression is related to the condition, namely STROKE itself. I pray that as your father's health improves, he will see more light than darkness in his life. Debbie :wub2:

I am really enjoying having the windows open and feeling the breezes blow. The curtains are rustling in the wind and my 2 cats are perched on the chest below the window, mesmerized by the birds singing outside. Soon the nests and the birdhouses beneath the deck rafters will be full of growing families, adding more life to the backyard. What will my contribution be this year? Well, I always enjoy planting a large basket with peppermint and lemon verbena. It makes a great tasting iced tea. And another container needs to be replenished with the best fresh basil and sage plants that I can find. Last, but not least, my husband and I have to start the tomato patch soon. I know that I can't complete the tasks by myself, but that won't keep me from trying to do what I can. I hope everyone is planning their own garden, their own personal growth during this time when we receive the gifts nature shares with us at this time. Debbie :Typing:

Thanks, Fred, for the encouragement. I will tell you that when I first rode the recumbent bike in Physical Therapy, I fell in love with it. I also have 2 herniated discs (lumbar) so I was never able to use gym equipment without experiencing the pain. But the recumbent bike was so much fun, that my Physical Therapist used it as a reward for me if I did well during my hour of therapy. It also made a huge difference in my mood. Have a good day, Fred! Debbie

Today is a big day for me ... about 4 weeks ago my family got together and bought me a recumbent bike. The bike was on sale for a great price, so I had to wait this long until it came back in stock. Hopefully today is the day it will be available for pick-up. My husband has already rearranged a corner of our bedroom to also serve as a new workout area. Now the weights, balls, stretch cords, putty, etc will have a proper place. Up until now, everything seems to be unpaired, scattered where I last used each piece. I have a mirror so that I can watch my form (or as close to form as I can get ). I am so hoping that the aerobic exercise combined with my weights, walking, and cardiac diet will help my push my weight in a downward direction. How could I have gained weight since coming home from rehab? :uhm: I can't figure it out, but it has to stop here. Debbie

I have been mulling over a list of creative things that I would like to do, since I have some free time on my hands. First of all, I reviewed my favorite pre-stroke hobbies: Quilting ... Scrapbooking ... Photography ... Researching / Writing Non-Fiction Articles ... and then there is a another list of new things I wish to learn: Jewelry Making (including metal, gemstones, glass beads, charms) Painting with Watercolors Pottery Yoga Looks like I have to be a bit more creative or alot more patient right now. At this time I am not even safe cutting out coupons from the Sunday paper inserts. So what I am doing now is trying to find some downloadable trial versions of PC games - to challenge my brain and to train my hand. I had never before played a video game before now - and I am already becoming addicted. Until next time, Debbie

I grew up in New England with one sibling, a year younger than me. My mother died in a boating accident in 1974 (age 40) and my Dad died of cancer at age 56. My sister and I haven't been very close - we live 500 miles apart from each other and never seem to keep the family connection strong. So when she made an impromptu visit earlier this month, I shared my panic feelings with you. I basically am intimidated in her presence. My sister arrived and I assumed she came to see me and check out how my recovery was going. She was enthusiastic about my progress (however, she hadn't seen me since the stroke, so I am not sure to what she was comparing her judgement). Now comes the real kicker ... the true motivation for my sister's visit was to inform me that we had 2 half-brothers that neither of us had ever heard of before. These boys were from 2 relationships my Mom apparently had before meeting and marrying our Dad. The brothers are 3 and 5 years older than me. The saddest news was that the younger of the two had started the search upon the death of his adoptive family. He had located the older brother, talked on the phone several times. The 2 men were planning to meet the first week of January. However, the younger brother died of a heart attack on December 26, 2005. My sister received this news in a letter around the beginning of January, but she waited a month to tell me in person, because she didn't want to cause me any stress or pain. How do I feel now knowing that my family has suddenly grown with 2 half-brothers (one deceased), 2 sisters-in-law, and 6 nieces and nephews? I am so happy that they were able to find us. However, I am saddened that my mom was not able to keep us all as a family. And it is also a shame that she hid her secret from everyone. I would like to think had she lived longer she would have confided in my sister and me. It is so amazing how just one letter can impact a life. Debbie

Jean - Thanks for reassuring me. My husband agrees that we need to find someone more knowledgeable and supportive. You're the best! Debbie

The Physical Therapy Re-Evaluation has been completed and the therapist has determined that she really can't help me. My tremors and balance have been interfering with progressing my walking further. I understand that she doesn't want to waste my time and money, but some things she said really hurt me. According to her, my balance and tremors are not consistant with how a stroke affects someone. And then she told my husband that all my symptoms were due to anxiety, because a stroke in the basal ganglia does not cause problems with movement, coordination, and balance. She also told my husband that stroke survivors do not have good days and bad days, so I really need to see a mental health professional, not physical therapy. However, she told me to keep doing my exercises at home and perhaps in 2 weeks I could return to see if I could continue. I left there in tears. I felt I was making progress in baby steps. But then my feelings, pain, struggles were minimized. I don't know about anyone else's recovery, but I would bet that many, if not all of us, have pain, level of fatigue, and emotions that vary day to day. Am I over-reacting to the actions and comments of a professional that appears to know much less about stroke effects than I do - contradicting every medical professional that has treated me in the past 5 months? I guess the main reason I even bother to take the time to question myself is because I HAVE been under alot of stress lately and I do have major depression that is being treated. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Debbie :forgive_me?:

Come one, come all -- there's plenty of buns for everyone. :wub2: Oh, the door key is under the gnome in the garden lol.

**hi** Sue - What a great idea! I have decided to relax downstairs in the loveseat, all wrapped up in an afghan. Instead of the beach, I will focus on a snowy day - I'm sitting in the log cabin, in front of a blazing fire in the old brick fireplace. I'm all alone. The only noise is the crackling of the logs. I'm eating hot cinnamon buns and drinking the best hot chocolate I have ever tasted - whipped cream on top, no marshmallows. This dream goes on and on ... but you get the picture. I would have loved to try the beach scene, but it is a bit chilly in the house. Thanks, again! Debbie :wub2: