jjohnson

:forgive_me?: Here are some Get Well Flowers for a dear friend. n a hug as well. :friends: I am so sorry to hear about your fall. I have a "Gripper" for every room....if I didn't have that, I would be down for the count more than I can think. :roflmao: When I was in rehab the one thing they never taught me was how to get up should I fall. I guess they felt since I was one hundred per cent paralyzed .... I would never need to learn that. When I finally got to go home, The first day I fell like four times and 911 had to be called, as I couldn't get up without them. Wayne couldn't get me up. They asked if I was never taught how to get up should I fall.... they asked why did they send me home then, answer: Insurance wouldn't pay to keep me there. Kimmie, just think of all the "Stories" you could share how you got your black eye. WOW :giggle: :gleam: Here's a toast for you staying upright. I will keep you in my prayers. I am sorry you got hurt. You are a strong person and I know you will be help others through your experience. Love n Hugs, :beer:

Well, I thought it was time I wrote a blog and share with you what has been going on in my lil part of the world. First, I would like to share the following. It sorta sums up my feelings about my "Stroke Journey" which began November 2003. The Process I think of myself as diamond, perhaps pure gold. Maybe my life is an antique vase, unique, precious, and rare.
 Consider the point in which they all began.
 Think of the process each went through. Each test of life has shaped me. Failure has polished the diamond I am.
 The tragedy purified my golden finish.
 Another love lost has molded me like clay,
 and shaped me into this lovely vase.
 You have given me strength to overcome stress and change, only to make my faith stronger in the end. I began my "membership to StrokeNet because I am a Brain Stem Stroke Survivor. Then life was learning to live life one second at a time. Then a few years later, I experienced two TIA's. I again picked myself up and continued down the journey of life. Then again, I was again back in the hospital ... to be percise, December 19th, 2010 .... funny thing is.... I was at 9am service at Church when this happened... they had to call 911 and I was back at the hospital. I thank GOD it is a "Stroke Certified" Hospital. I feel very safe there and they know I am a "Club Med" frequent patient plan. This time I went straight from the ambulance to a DR in no time flat. End result.... I had yet another Brain Stem Stroke. This one took out my site fully in my left eye. I have been having to wear an eye patch... I felt like a Pirate only minus the bird on my shoulder and no peg leg. With each stroke, I just have to try to stay strong and know this is just another part of my journey. It has been very very hard this go round. Another BIG LOSS for me is my dear friend of 49 years, my dear Lindy. She passed away on February 4th. It is a BIG loss for me as we were like Sisters. I miss her so very much. When I got home from the first Brain Stem ordeal, like I have shared before, all my "so called friends/acquaintances" abandonded me... Lindy was the only true one who stayed by my side. I have two friends, Lisa in PA and Lisa in VA, and I am grateful we have communication by telephone. I do count my blessings. It's just I am or I should say I WAS such a people person and I truly MISS having contact with people. BUT, I just have to be thankful for what I do have. I just miss Lindy so much and I know she is my Guardian Angel watching over me. I think I am kinda sad also because on the 19th my Mom will be gone 38 years. I so miss her as well. Oh well, now to share some happy moments here before I lose my readers. It's hard to believe I used to be a professional clown (pre stroke of course) .... Beau has been with us for a year as of Valentine's Day and he is such fun and has settled in beautifully. Of course, there were a few things that he has done that he shouldn't have, but he was still in that puppy stage. He shows me such love and is truly turning into a great therapy dog. He came to me on the day of LOVE and that love continues on and on and on. I thank GOD daily for him and I truly believe Beau thanks for taking him in as a rescue and made him into a full fledged family member. He is just precious and he has a PERSONALITY.... let me tell you. I am doing PT and OT now again since my last Brain Stem Stroke. I sm happy to share that those that have been praying for my site to return to my left eye.... keep those prayers going... I no longer am wearing my patch much. I had seen like three times the Specialist from the Wilmer Eye Institute ... my last visit with her she stated to my hubby and I that it was her "Professional" opinion that I was one hundred per cent blind and it was her "Professional" opinion it was irreversable. I asked her if I could plse have a second opinion ... she didn't care for that very much.... she had tested me and retested me during those three visits.. but, I explained that I was not trying to be rude, however, she has a license to practice but my Heavenly Physician is who I am trusting in as through his Stripes I can be healed. So, she gave me the Dr's name I was going to see. He was very far away and it seemed to take forever n a day... but we went. He put me through the "ringer" let me tell you. He told me there was a cyst on the back of the brainstem. There was a lot of damage since the first Brain Stem Stroke in 2003. I have lost all my perf vision... I have lost about ten to fifteen per cent of my brain and that is why there is fluid there. Seeing the MRI was truly shocking to me and Wayne. Every Specialist I have seen lately all say the same thing. They can't believe I am sitting in front of them... Their professional opinion is that I should be a "vegetable"... that with they are viewing I shouldn't be speaking, etc. My balance is way off ... thus the PT and OT. The one thing that I am experiencing which I just hate is the fact my memory is worse than before and also I cry and laugh at the drop of a hat. The Neuro said is was emotional liability. I'm trying not to beat myself up over all this. I am just so happy my site is doing much better in my left eye. I mean I was kinda a "cute" pirate but I truly didn't want to walk the plank. hehehe I feel at least I can watch tv better than before and I get to share American Idol with a dear friend. I try to be thankful for what I still have vs what I have lost and like what I posted stated.... this journey is making me who and what I am. After all, Jesus was on the cross and I am no better than him. He wasn't even offered anything for pain. I still get headaches since this started but I take meds for that daily and it seems to keep things a float. I can't believe how many new Dr's I have seen since 12/19... I realize how blessed I am that I am even here... I just hope this is the last one I have. Maybe I should wear garlic around my neck to ward them off. hehehe "Patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit." - Ecclesiastes 7:8 To have patience with other people is one of life's greatest qualities. In Lincoln, The War Years, Sandberg writes of Lincoln's patience with his cabinet in the most difficult days of American history. Many in his cabinet felt they were a whole lot smarter than the President. They made a point of letting other people know it, too. Some mocked and belittled him; one even call him a dumb gorilla. These words often got back to President Lincoln and his wife. She despised them; yet, he was incredibly patient. When he died, these same men realized they had served under one of the greatest Americans who had ever lived. Patience with others is a Christ-like quality. Ask God for patience, but watch out if you do! God just might put some difficult people around you to try your patience. This is a part of learning patience, as well as an answer to your prayer. I guess I should end this Blog as my computer isn't doing really well.... the page keeps acting crazy (and no it isn't the Typist hehehe) Lenny, I must agree with you my friend, it has been healing to put my feelings down .... I might just have to do it again... I try to keep an "Attitude List" daily and remember the good things in life.... I pray for those in need and keep my friends in my thoughts always. I am happy I can be a "Prayer Warrior".... I also get a kick when these new Specialists are all shocked that I have survived the Brain Stem Strokes. Like Helen Ready sang: I am Woman hear me roar... or I will survive by Gloria Gaynor.... I just sing" "Believe in Miracles and SOAR" or "There's nothing to it BUT to do it"... I pray for everyone always. God Bless and Happy Saint Paddy's Day to you. Love n Hugs, Jan

:forgive_me?: :friends: Dear Lenny: I am so happy to see you have blogged. This is the best thing to do... like you have stated it is very healing and gives you peace.You are very loved and cared about here and there are quite a few of us who have lost a beloved fur baby. I can relate with you as I had gotten my precious Harley Boy when I got home from my long Hospital and Rehab stay. He became my therapy dog and when he passed away it was terrible. BUT, there came another blessing for me... when the timing was right, BEAU came into our lives. He is working out great and the love he gives to me is unconditional. He is doing really well and it has been a year of learning one another ... but there is JOY again in our lives. In time, God will place just the right four legged one in yours as well. I love your Blogs so I hope you will update and let us know how you are doing. Please know you are not going through this by yourself. You have so many who truly care about you. Please let your family know I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Just take things a day at a time. I have great comfort in knowing Chance crossed over that Rainbow Bridge and Harley met him and they have been running around all day. Both of them whole and perfect. :Clap-Hands:

What a heart felt blog Lenny. I so enjoyed reading it. I am so blessed you are our Ambassador of Good Cheer.... Whether blow by blow announcement of the Olympics in Canada or just good cheer with Stroke Net you are a permanent fixture.... Merry Christmas to you. You are a true blessing my dear friend. God Bless, Hugs, Jan

Isn't it funny as we grow in life we value things different with each journey we take? When we were young, we wanted toys, toys and more toys, then our teen years, we had to have the coolest stuff, what the other kids had, however, I never got that sort of stuff as my Mom was basically on her own since my Dad wasn't around and he spent more time and effort on the "Drinking scene"... My Mom did the best she could. She would get for me and my sister before ever getting what she needed. We had shoes on and clean clothes and were happy to have food in our tummys. Gosh,I miss her so. Thing is, I was always happy for the simple things in life. Never wanted much. Just a roof over my head, my bills to be paid and never needed the most fancy car. Just one that ran and had four tires. hehe I have never been the Madonna "Material Girl" ... I have just been me and have always danced to the tune of my own drum. WELL, now SANTA, I do have something for your LIST. I want my eye sight back please. Doesn't have to be 20/20... Just not "Blind" I don't do well with that.... Even this double, triple, etc. I will be happy to deal with. I just want the ability to see and get on with my life. The simple things in life .... Love, Peace Gratitude Laughter Friends Blessings GOD Faith, Hope and TRUST PEACE Rainbows Sound of Raindrops The Birds Tweeting CLOUDS The sound of the Ocean so much more There is so much more life out there for me to explore Merry Christmas it means more to me than just the presents.... I so appreciate the light of the peace that was born that very night I LOVE LIFE....... THANK YOU GOD FOR THAT

Hi Jan: This is your "Brain".... I just had to drop you a few words and say Congratulations on today... WOW, seven years we've been a team going through this journey. You think you've been through a lot.... heck, try being the "Brain" and I'm stuck in your head. At least we've gone through the ups and downs together. We are on Faith Blvd. and Blessings Street. I look forward to continuing our journey together every step of the way. I Love you Jan, your buddy, you're pal, Your Brain

It's me Jan. Sorry the print came out so small, I don't know what happened. Also, my cute lil smileys didn't show up. See what happens when a person doesn't Blog regularly. Hope Asha doesn't faint. hehe I also wanted to say this is Thanksgiving coming up, I want to Thank Steve Mallory for his brain child of starting StrokeNet. Thank you to those who were there to walk the journey with me. I am so greatful and thankful. ~Peace~

:happydance: :Clap-Hands: :cheer: :beer: :hug: :forgive_me?: Hi and welcome to my special "Celebrate" Blog Entry. It's funny, I knew I wanted to write about my feelings the evening before my "Anniversary Day".... I got on my computer and I looked at the clock and it said: 12:26 and I thought WOW, that is when my Birthday is: 12/26... it was then and there I knew ... I was meant to write about this day at this very moment. As you can see by my "Emoticons" they express my feelings. I am starting this Blog Entry by doing my "Happy Dance" Today is my 7th Anniversary of my Brain Stem Stroke and all I had to go through and where I am at today. Today is like a Birthday for me as that is how I like to think of it.... I was "Reborn" ...Given a second chance at life as I am a Miracle and God said my work isn't done on earth yet. For those who don't know me... I will share the Reader's Digest SHORT part of it. (You can read it in My Gallery section). I went into the hospital for a simple "In and Out" Procedure, a Heart Cath. Well, it ended up I needed Emergency Open Heart ByPass Surgery and when I was in Recovery, I didn't respond and they had to shock me twice. Still nothing, so they did a CT Scan and it revealed I had experienced a major Stroke on my BrainStem and there were so many other strokes they were "too numerous to count." I was in a Coma and on Life Support. My Husband was told numerous times I wasn't going to make it and if I did I would be in a vegetative state for the rest of my life and have to live in a nursing home. They lost me but brought me back. Well, I did come out of the coma but found out I was totally paralyzed. Told I would never walk or talk, etc. All I could do was lay flat and stare at the ceiling. All I could do was cry out to GOD and he told me he would Never leave nor Forsake ME. He never has. IF it wasn't for my Faith, I truly don't think I would have made it. I got to the point where I got to Rehab and after months of that....I proved them all wrong. I got to go home in a wheelchair as my "ride". I was very blessed that my Hubby took on the roll of "Caregiver" and I have been able to be in my own home. That, in itself, has been a wonderful motivator for me. It has been a long, tough journey. A lot of ups and downs, twists and turns, I think my wonderful 911 crew felt in the beginning they should just move on in... I fell so many times. They were so kind toward me and understanding. After much hard work and pulling myself up by my boot straps, I am only using my wheelchair when I am out for long periods of time, all the other time, I use my Rollaider. I just adore my Rollaider. I love to stand tall and let the world know I am a Miracle through the Grace of God. By all the Specialists, my Cardiologist, etc. I am not suppose to be here. The Beast didn't know whose door he was knocking on. The best thing those Specialists said and it made me want to prove them all wrong was I would never talk or walk again. I had to start out in Rehab like I was just born, Like a lil baby, learn how to sit up, roll over, feed myself, etc. BUT, hey, here I am 7 years later. It amazes me. Instead of trying to shoot down the HOPE I tried to hold onto, they wanted to just leave it at the door. Well, I have held onto that HOPE and I have stayed on this Journey of HOPE as I call it. My thought I always kept in my heart and mind was: I walk by Faith and not by Site. I tried to stay positive....it was hard ..I won't say it was a bed of roses. The hardest part of all of it was the loss of my perf. vision, I am blind there and I had to turn my Driver's License in and that just about did me in. My freedom, my independance was taken. But, hey, I just had to reinvent the way I was going to get things done. I still drive people crazy hehehe so hey ... it is what it is. Another saying I incorporated was There's nothing to it BUT to do it.... my favorite accomplishment was writing my Book, "The Little Bird Who Couldn't Fly" It was the story of my ordeal about adversity and how you overcome it. My saying from that is: "Believe in MIRACLES and continue to SOAR"... Life is a journey each day and each day I wake up I thank God and he gives me a clean canvas and it's fun to see how I fill it out. I am blessed by the recovery I have. My enjoyment is sitting out on my "GrandPop's Stoop" (I wrote a Blog about that last year I believe)...I love sitting outside and listening to my windchimes and hearing the birds sing. I love going a half mile from my home and see my beautiful Chesapeake Bay. There is so much life out there and I want every bit of it I can take. Never give up.... I had a goal a few months ago as what I could do and get it done before my anniversary date of today. I wanted to see if I could read a book and see if I could remember the story line. I have really bad short term memory, it drives my hubby nuts. I have long term memory but not short term real well. I finished my book the other day and a friend took it back to the Library. She got me the book in LARGE PRINT.... I told her that was the only way I could ever try to meet my goal deadline. I would have to refresh my memory in order to start a few days later of reading. It took me a while to get it read. It was a little tricky with my eyes reading a book....but I tried different things and I did get it read. I have shared the storyline with others to see if I could remember it and they were so happy to rejoice with me with meeting my goal. It is fun to look back (I don't dwell on it as I want to look forward) I have been blessed with a lot of recovery. I think as long as I try ...who is to tell me what recovery is still out there for me? This hasn't only been my seven years of going through this, my hubby, he's my Caregiver as he has to dress me and put my shoes and socks on... I am cooking most of my meals now. I have been "releasing" weight...I don't say losing it cuz I don't want to find it. It makes walking much better and it is good for my Diabetes and my Muscular Dystrophy. I want as much of life back as I can get. I have experienced three other strokes. They were TIA's. I need to keep stress outta my life. Easier said than done. We are talking about life here and all that comes with it. Wayne has to do most of everything and I do try to pitch in and do what I can to take the load off of him. It will be a year in December since my precious Harley Boy went to the Rainbow Bridge and I miss him so much but we have had Beau nine months now and he is such a love bug. He is doing a lot to help me. The unconditional love he gives me .... that is a healing that is for sure and he is putting paw prints on my heart. So if any new members are reading this blog, please stay strong, stay positive and keep the HOPE alive cuz there is recovery. I know cuz I am here.....seven years later. If I can help you in any way, please PM me....I have to pay it forward.....I can't keep it all to myself. I want to share my experience, strength and hope with others. Oh, the neatest thing is one of my special prayers is coming true...while I was in Rehab, I had the Best Nurse and she shared with me where she went to Church, I have been looking for a new Church and I found the one she said she went to. I wondered if she would be there after all this time. She is a member there, she just had surgery a few months ago, but, I can't wait to see her when she returns. Thinking about that just shows me how far I have come. Life is good....Life is worth fighting for. Well, I hope you enjoy today ...as for me, I want to shout it from the roof tops, WORLD, Here it is..... seven years later..... Most people say "Seven Year Itch..." hehehe I say... Thank you God for the gift of seven years. I want to share: Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones. -- Phillips Brooks also "If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning." - Gandhi "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Phill 4:13 When the journey got hard, as believe you me it did, he carried me in his loving, capable arms. But, today we both are rejoicing and celebrating. Have a wonderful day today and thanks for taking the time to read my Blog. Hugs and Love and Blessings always. Jan

Dear Lenny: :Clap-Hands: :You-Rock: :cheer: You are an awesome Chat Host and you make everyone feel so comfortable.... You will do great with those who will be there to hear you. You have such a caring nature and it is very obvious you want to help others. You are an Ambassador for a reason. Have you thought about asking the Rep if they would like to be there to answer any questions the group may have? He/She could even bring Brochures, etc. Heck, maybe they would give you a break on the cost as you are doing this great deed for others. Just a thought. :chat: :gym: You are stronger than you think. Look how far you have come. You are a true inspiration to all who know you. :hug: Can't wait to hear how it goes. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will just go do the demonstration so others will know there is hope and recovery. Just rest your arm and hands cuz I know you will be asked for your autograph. Heck, There will be an "Ambassador" in da house. "There's nothing to it BUT to do it"... Hugs and you keep that great attitude.

WOW, so much has been going on in my lil part of the world ... I'm still out here taking life a moment at a time. I think of Tim McGraw's song. "Live life as though you are dying".... I truly do try to get as much in my days as humanly possible. There has been joy along as much sorrow lately these past few months. The JOY is the simple fact my new baby, Beau, is fitting in quite well.... He's a bundle of energy and full of LOVE for me. He makes me laugh daily. He has been in my life five months today. He truly is a special gift God put into my life. I will always miss my Harley Boy but he will always be in my heart and I know he's watching me from Doggie Heaven. I have noticed some new "recovery" since I have had Beau. He brings me his toys to throw and he will catch them and bring them back to me and I either use my "gripper" to pick them up or I will bend over to pick them up. I didn't even realize I was doing that as it was like Jan pre Brain Stem Stroke. It just came to my mind last night that I was doing that. I mean I am not the fastest person doing it BUT I am doing it. I can't do a lot of picking up and throwing due to my Myasthenia Gravis, however, I am doing it. Beau gets so excited with his Mommy. We sure are a good team. He is learning to be a "Service Dog" for me, he wakes me up, etc. BUT, I think he is doing the better part of training me to be HIS Service Mommy. There is joy again in my life since my precious Harley passed away. I truly didn't think I would ever get over that loss, however, time has helped and some really great, wonderful loving friends. The pain will always be there as I adored my Harley but he wouldn't want me to be the way I was. Harley left a great legacy ... his legacy was LOVE and he would have wanted me to get a rescue dog and give it love... Harley was a rescue. So, Beau joining our lives was meant to be. It is so cute when I get up in the morning, Beau brings me his toys and lays them at my feet as if they are his gift to me for the day. Then he bows in front of me. It is so cute. As though they are his "offering" to me. He sure knows how to touch my heart. He has put footprints there right beside Harley's. Next page of what is going on in my part of the world. A very dear friend of mine who was a stroke survivor took their life in June. This has been the hardest thing for me to deal with. I miss her so much and she was doing so much better. I had been working with her for the past two and a half years. We would go to the movies, go out to eat, she would come to my house and we would work together. She was to come to my house that Wednesday and she didn't show, I called her Wednesday and Thursday.. no answer so I left her a message. The last time we spoke I told her how much I loved her and she told me she loved me as well... Her exact words were "I Love YOU".... the next day she took her life. Instead of coming to see me as planned she had her nurse who drove her and stayed with her during the day to take her to get her hair cut and get her nails done. I live with the thought if we had gotten together, maybe, I could have said something to have helped her, etc. People have said I knew her like the back of my hand and she probably didn't come over because she knew I would sense something wasn't right. I never in a million years would have thought she would have taken her life. I know, deep in my heart, God welcomed her with his arms wide open .... She was such an awesome woman. I loved her so much and I miss her deeply. She felt she wasn't getting better fast enough....But, I saw her improving. Just not fast enough I guess. I guess no one will ever know the whys.... That damn Beast Stroke. I went to her funeral, however, the Church was full so we had to try to go into an overflow room and the speakers didn't work. The important thing is I went... she knew I was there. I went ahead and had a moment of my own to celebrate her life....I would take her a half mile from my home to the Chesapeake Bay and I taught her how to throw coins into the water....I would say "Now, make a wish" and we would throw them in... she would get so excited and smile. She shared my love by being by the water. I also went and got a brand new two dollar bill... cuz we were a team. I would call us "The Twosome Stroke Survivor Sistas"..... I cherish that two dollar bill. My dear friend, Bonnie, took me. Last week my dear friend, Bonnnie, lost her husband to Stroke. I went to the Celebration of his life and it was something. I just wish one day that damn BEAST will be a thing of the past. The thing that bothers me is Bonnie's hubby was at the Hospital where I went for my last two strokes, it is a stroke certified hospital... but, with his passing, it sorta makes me wonder. I know that is negative thinking and I have had such excellent care there, but, I guess because he died there.... I just have to give it all to God and pray for peace. I will be here for my dear friend, Bonnie, his wife. I did go to the viewing and she was tickled to see me there and thanked me for being there. I just said why wouldn't I be? We are friends and that is what friends do for one another. I need to get through this valley of sadness and move forward ... My Brother-In-Law, Tommy, had to be rushed to the hospital and they put stints in and they sent him home and days later he had a heart attack and went back, they didn't put the stents in far enough and they ended up being one hundred per cent blocked. He's doing better now, Thank God. Now... on to some positive updates: I have been trying to help my health.... I have, to date, Released 37 pounds. I don't say Lost as I don't want to find them, I say Released. It has been an awesome experience. I have been walking with my Rollaider. The weather has been so bad lately. Rain, Rain, Rain, super hot so I haven't been walking too much but I get it in when I can. I do use my NuStep Machine and my Richard Simmons Tapes. He is such a "Hoot"... Laughter is so good for the soul. I'm still working with my cancer patients. I have had three more referred to me and it is such a blessing. I truly thought my volunteer work was over after my Brain Stem Stroke and the deficits it left me with. BUT, There's nothing to it BUT to do it. Where there is a will, there is a way. I still have my mouth and my computer and phone. So, with God's help, we "get er done" as Earl would say. It's hard to imagine that this November it will be seven years since that day my life changed forever. There has been blessings, I am still here, I still need to stop being the Judge and Jury of Jan. I am so hard on myself. My life has always been my volunteer work.... it's in my blood. I still Host my MD Chat and I enjoy that so much. My MG has it's good days and ... ups and downs with it. Extreme heat doesn't help and this summer has been rough thus far. Extreme cold doesn't help either and those six feet of snow was really tough for me. I am blessed we have heat and a/c... my heart goes out to those who are homeless. I appreciate the blessings I have. I look at life so different now. I see it as a Map.... The road changes, the route I might have in mind to take sometimes has detours. But, I just enjoy the ride... There are ups and downs, ins and outs, twists and turns. I just take it all in. I just am grateful I have the recovery I have thus far. I still keep that HOPE alive and work daily to keep what I have and hope for more. I think the weight loss is helping me a great deal. I so enjoy sitting out on my "Grandpops Stoop" and enjoy so much listening to the birds singing their little toons for me, listening to my awesome windchimes. I try to sit out as much as possible, the heat is not cooperating with me. But, on good days, that is where you will find me. Beau has to sit out with his Mommy. He has a lot of "Jan" in him. He is a "People Person" as well. He is a great source of comfort and company for me. He truly is a good lil guy. IF only he could get out of his "terrible ones or twos" No one truly knows how old he is. The Vet thought about a year but he truly doesn't know. He is a good boy and I sure am blessed he is ours. I spoke to one of the Moms of one of my Cancer Children I had worked with about 14 years ago and he is in College now on a Football scholarship and he is in College...His plan is he wants to be an Oncologist ... WOW.... He is a counselor at a Camp for Cancer Children. I am so proud of him. I have been a Pen Pal for a friends son as he went through a "Boot Camp" for the new position he is being hired for with the Dept of Defense. He had to go to Georgia and go through some very intense training. That was a cool thing to do.... I enjoyed being there for him. He graduated yesterday and he is on his way back to Maryland. Just try to keep my days busy. I see my new Specialist today so I should try to catch some shut eye before my day starts. This is what has been going on in my lil corner of the world. Just remember, each day we are given a canvas... how are we going to fill out that blank page? Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. - William Faulkner Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success. - William J. H. Boetcker Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit. - Conrad Hilton Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments - without comparing yourself to others. Hope you are doing well.... Enjoy your day. Love n Hugs, Jan Remember: Without Friends, life would be like a garden without flowers... :forgive_me?:

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves. - Bertrand Russell Criticism is prejudice made plausible. - H. L. Mencken Criticism is almost never constructive. Don't criticize others, and ignore it when you receive criticism. Stay Positive Around Negative People Courage Quotes To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard Ralph Waldo Emerson quote: Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

"DON'T LEAVE IT ON THE DESK" There was a certain professor of religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course their freshman year, regardless of his or her major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously. This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class. One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. "How many push-ups can you do?" Steve said, "I do about 200 every night." "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?" Steve replied, "I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time" "Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson. "Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor. Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it." Dr. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday.. Let me explain what I have in mind." Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class. Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" "Sure!" Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.. When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push-ups?" Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Dr.. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!" Dr.. Christianson said, "Look! This is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Sternly, Jenny said, "No." Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut. By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, "No!" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert count the set and watch Steve closely. Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row.. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push-ups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come." Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?" Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut." Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said, "give me a donut." "Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. Dr Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.. The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?" Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you." Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda. Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?" Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?" Dr Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not.. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push-ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes." "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor. Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten. " Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile. "Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding, "Not all sermons are preached in words." Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His Only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid." "Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"

:congrats: :beer: Toasting you on a great first blog.... :cocktail: :cheer: :groupwave: :groupwave: :welcome: :clap: :bookread: :forgive_me?: You have your "first post" under your belt, now we all can't wait to read more and more. I am a Brain Stem Stroke Survivor as well. So, I guess we are "Strokettes " together on the Brain Stem Survivor Girls Team. We are God's Miracles, that is for sure. Each day is a special gift.

I have found since my Brain Stem Stroke, people don't seem to understand the difference I have to endure. This has caused me a lot of pain in my daily living. Pre-stroke I was a very "together" person. I was quick in my decision making, thought processing, in every aspect of my life. It seems since my stroke, People don't seem to have patience with me or even understand what I am going through. I don't use my "Brain Stem Stroke" as a calling card for an easy life or for a free pass... My life is anything but easy. It is a daily struggle to get through each minute of every day. I get sick and tired of hearing well that happened years ago. Do they walk in my shoes? I think not. Are they homebound and don't have visitors and friends stopping by? Have they had something happen to them where their life was turned upside down? Have they had people just walk out on them and their friendship because of the deficits that stroke left them with? Life just is. Whether we perceive life as hard, pleasant, challenging, exciting, stressful, or otherwise is a result of our perceptions and our way of thinking. We know because we live it day in and day out. If we decide to stay in the game of life or not we are here until the day we die. I made it through being in a coma and on life support. I know what kind of life I had pre stroke. I had to live with the diagnosis of Muscular Dystrophy. My life changed but I got through it day by day. My life is lonely now. I try to stay happy and upbeat. I fight daily with the Beast, Stroke Deficits. I try to win that battle and go on with my life. I have a few good friends pre stroke and a few I have made since my stroke who understand what I am dealing with. Problem is they live out of state. I can take constructive criticism... because I know there is unconditional caring and love behind it. Infact, I welcome it as it does help me become a better person. My memory problem seems to be a problem for some individuals I know. Well, sorry, I didn't ask for the Brain Stem Stroke. Not everyone knows what I live with on a daily basis. I don't compare my life with anyone else's. I take it for face value and it is what it is. I used to have so many friends and was always on the go .... now it is a blessing I get to sit out on my front porch. I enjoy the simple things in life. I do, to be honest, sometimes long for the Jan I once was. But, I don't stay in the "past" for long as it doesn't do me any good. I am just grateful I had such a good life and didn't stroke until later in life. I do stay in a Grateful lane of the highway of life. I wish I had family but that doesn't guarantee they would be here either. So I change my lane of the highway and get out of the Wish lane and be grateful for what I do have. I do have a sister but she hasn't been here at all. She only lives about four hours from me but she doesn't visit or call. I actually refer to her as my "Biological" sister. Her children, my two nieces and one nephew, don't contact me either. I have great nephews as well. This does make me sad. But, again, I stay out of the Sad lane of the highway. What I do have is ME, MYSELF and I. I won't check out on me. I kinda like her and have stuck around throughout the Brain Stem Stroke and Muscular Dystrophy. They have fought hard with God's guidance on how to get through all that I have gotten through. It was and still is a hard daily battle. I need to follow the person in front of me, the God Mobile. I won't ever go wrong just as long as I keep on following him. He loves me unconditionally and accepts me at face value. I am on FAITH BLVD. I would like to end my Blog with the following: Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. - Anonymous I will continue my journey and keep Believing in Miracles and continue to SOAR... After all, Me, Myself and I equals "A Stroke Survivor."

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. - Marianne Williamson Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Love, real love, powers everything good. Let your life be an expression of your love of God, your love of all people around the world, and your love of all God's other creations. Believe in Miracles and SOAR

..... Just Stay A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked. The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered. "No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life." "Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?" "I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed." I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son was Killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this Gentleman's Name? The Nurse with Tears in Her Eyes Answered, Mr. William Grey............. The next time someone needs you .... just be there. Stay. ************** WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE. WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE. PLEASE PASS THIS ONE ON AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU! THIS IS WHAT WE ARE PUT ON THIS EARTH TO DO ANYWAY. RIGHT ? HAVE A GREAT DAY AND BLESS SOMEONE ELSE IN SOME LITTLE WAY TODAY! GOD IS SO GOOD.

Lenny: You have such a BIG heart. You are always so positive and wanting and willing to share your experience, strength an hope with others. StrokeNet is so blessed to have you.... YOU add so much to this group. Yes, Caregivers are such a BIG part of our recovery. The "unconditional love" of others that help Stroke Survivors ..... I wish my family wasn't all dead. I sure wish they were still here. I know my Mom would have been there for me. She was such a good Mom. Keep up the awesome job that you are doing. :beer: Lenny: You have won the "Prize of the day" :congrats: :tshirt: You won the "Smiley" T-Shirt cuz you always manage to put a smile on our hearts and faces. :Clap-Hands: :You-Rock: