azrabbit

Stroke Survivor - female
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Blog Comments posted by azrabbit

  1. Slowe, The next time you go to the VA, request a walk in appointment with the Social Worker in your clinic. As a caregiver for my Dad, I spend a lot of time at the VA center. While he has had pretty good care there, you do have to "go according to procedure." Having never been in the military, this was quite a learning experience for me. First you sign in, then one person takes your information and asks you if you are in pain, then you wait, then you see a PA or a dr. who spends his/her time reading your computerized chart witout making eye contact. Then they tell you what they are going to do. If the meds are changed, you go back out and wait until the pharmacist can talk to you to tell you what the medication is, then you go wait at the pharmacy until you name comes up on the board. If you are waiting over an hour (which we frequently do) you tell them and your name seems to appear shortly thereafter.

     

    BUT, if you are successful in seeing the social worker, they can complete forms for you to be listed as the Next of Kin and you will be able to ask questions, get answers - sometimes, and manage billing. They also redid my Dad's POA and Advanced Directives while we were there. Worth the wait considering what that would have cost us elsewhere.

     

    Hang in there! I have found that you just have to keep bugging them.

  2. put the guilt monster with the dust bunnies

     

    Lord knows I have PLENTY of those to go around. I used to have a poem I stiched when my daughter was a baby about cleaning house not being important because I was rocking my baby and babies don't keep, now I feel like rewriting it to include I am caring for someone I love and the dust can just wait!

     

    Thanks Bonnie!

  3. So your life has been full of responsibility, well, stop for one minute and do a role reversal - it must be tough being cared for 24/7 by someone who resents it, as it shows how you resent it,

     

    June, I NEVER said I resented it. I said I was tired - there is a BIG difference. I am hurt by your comment and feel as if you are judging me. And I have heard many times, as I am sure you have as a survivor, the comment about God not giving us more than we can handle, but you know what, some days it FEELS like more than I can handle.

     

    I would not give up being Denny's partner for anything. He had his stroke on 12/31/05 and this is the first time I have left him. If I resented caring for him or my Dad, I would have been long gone a long time ago.

  4. I think my attitude about the trip would have been better if I didn't have to come home to deal with business and then my Dad situations. It takes a good four - five hours each time I have to run to his place for something and longer, if I have to take him somewhere. So returning home with a work load waiting and adding Dad to the mix just put me over the edge.

     

    Day spa...there's a thought. In the meantime, I took my long awaited hot bath, had a glass of good wine and slept well. Thanks for the good thoughts.

  5. I am so glad you both are finding ways to enjoy your time together. I used to take my laptop computer in and a movie to watch. I would pick up dinner on the way and we would have dinner and a movie.

     

    I was lucky because for the first 5 weeks of D's rehab, I had a bed in his room, so pretty much just stayed there. We would both get comfy in our "beds" and watch the movie.

     

    Saying some prayers that Trev will get to come home soon!

  6. Oh the loneliness - how I can relate and I know Denny can as well. Being so new to this - only 8 months since D's stroke, some days it is all I can do to manage the day to day tasks. The other day was a rare thunder storm, my favorite kind of day to curl up with a book and cuddle with D and listen to the rain. Some of our best talks were during storms. I hustled D out to the garage so we could sit and watch the rain. The silence was deafening - just the rain, thunder and lightening cracks. Not a word from Denny. I was so sad.

     

    Wish I could send you some of the rain. Living in the desert I understand the plants crying for a drink.

     

    Don't dimiss the respite for yourself. Keep all your options open.

     

    As for gifts - does he like music? What about CD's? Denny likes to get magazine subscriptions for magazines that have a lot of photos. He also likes to receive coffee table books with photos.

  7. Ann, my Dad took aracept as well. For him the result was almost immediate, and the documentation for that medication indicates that as well. For others, it takes some more time. Whatever, how facinating to have these conversations. Denny always asks me, "How Long?" "How long what?" I say. Then he points to his head, mouth, the length of his arm and leg. I ask if he means how long since his stroke and he says yes. I tell him and then he asks how long again, and I know he wants to know when he will "get better." That is always the hard question to answer.

     

     

     

     

  8. Great news on his shoulder!!! That is so exciting.

     

    As for the doggy incident - I agree with Sue, by sharing your good news with the neighbor, you can move beyond her complaining. I used to worry so much about other people, but have now decided that my first priority is Denny.

     

    I hope you have a good evening and good dreams. Just think if Trev continues to improve his arm function you are going to be getting a TWO ARMED HUG. I can't wait for that day - to be held with BOTH arms again.

  9. Thanks for being so encouraging and understanding Jean & Sue.

     

    Annie - Denny calls me Baby a lot also, but mostly Honey. He can finally say my name, but it is a hard one to get started. First word he ever said after the stroke was my daughters name. She flew in from Washington within hours of his stroke. When she walked into his room in ICU, he said, "Carrie."

     

    Bonnie - THANKS for the fishing advice. I was going to take Denny to Cabella's. They opened a new store here and has been promoted as a "destination store." I will look for ZEBCO reels there. I don't want to spend a bunch in case it is a passing phase, but what the heck!

     

    I promise photos.

  10. I am not a fisherperson myself, so this should be good for some laughs. I was always attracted to fly fishing after reading "A River Runs Through It," but I think tying flies is more up my alley. Plastic worms sound good to me - after all they come is such great colors.

     

    We are going out today to order the back up camera for the motor home. Then it gets installed on Tuesday along with an outdoor shower. I think that will make it much easier for Denny to shower without having to climb into the shower/bath combo inside the camper. Don't worry - we have an enclosure for it that I can put a chair inside. But watch out, if he has too many beers he may just be happy to bath like the bears...

  11. Gosh Sue, I wonder if I will have the strength to look back some day. Denny created a scrap book of all the cards and letters he received while at the hospital and during rehab. Since he is a photographer, he was even taking photos of his progress and of the visitors. I remember one of the first shots he took, it was of his usless legs. To the average viewer, is looks like a mistake of a photo, but I know what it is. So hard to look at.

     

    Thanks for sharing those moments in your life that took you down the road to this strange life we are all living. We all learn from each other and I learn so much from you and your fighting spirit!

  12. Don't worry Sue - I ALWAYS carry a ton of wipes where ever we go.

     

    Jean - if we were in your part of the country we would meet you at the tavern, pub or whatever you call them there. Beers all around - our treat. I would love to meet you and Don. I know Denny would find a way to communicate with him.

  13. The awning isn't too hard to put up, I only smashed my finger once! I practiced putting it up and taking it down at home before we left with one of my staff. There weren't any directions so I searched the internet and actually found a site that had "basic awning set up" instructions. Printed them off and went step by step. I am just glad all we had was rain and not heavy wind. Not sure I could have taken it down by myself in wind.