azrabbit

Sue, I am sending you a big hug! It has to be so hard to deal with facing all of this so soon after getting Ray home. Please be gentle with yourself. NO caregiver is perfect, we all lose our patience and get angry and tired. I had to care for my Dad who was a survivor and then developed dementia. It was very hard after a while and like you, I had to make the decision to have him cared for at a group home. You have to do what is best for you - deep in your heart you will know what that is. Your emotions will try and get you to second guess your decisions. Your children and grandchildren need you around for a long while and you can't let yourself get so run down that your health is jeopardized. I wish I could come and give you a break for a few hours!! :console:

Thanks Bonnie and Jean. Bonnie, we have biked in Bellingham and loved it there. I am not sure if we are going to have the bike this summer because I haven't figured out how to bring it along. Because it is a side by side tandem, it doesn't fit on regular bike rikes and it is too heavy and awkward for me to get up on a roof rack. We are looking into a different bike for Denny that would be easier for me to put on a rack.

Thanks for all your kind comments. I read them all to Denny and he was just beaming! I expect a few more letters will be going out now that he was been encouraged. He received a reply from the Mayor.

Denny has always been a community activist and environmentalist. As a person who made his living by photographing nature, exploring nature and helping others discover nature, he is keenly protective of wild places and human propelled methods (bikes, hiking, kayaking, etc) of discovery. One of his major goals in the past was to document bike paths and rate how pedestrian friendly a community was as we traveled through them. Then he would use the good ones as ammunition when we returned home and he resumed his activism with the city council or legislators. After we were hit from behind by an SUV while riding our bike one day, I suffered a pretty significant head injury. My helmet saved my life that day! Then a few months later a friend of ours was killed while cycling by a teenager driving a truck. Denny went into high gear fighting for cyclists rights. THEN he had the stroke and his fights took a back seat. Not any longer! A few weeks ago a story ran in the local paper about a woman who is frustrated with our traffic and efforts by the city to control speed by installing round abouts at intersections. She set up a website to lobby for wider roads, faster speed limits, less lights and overall encourage the use of cars / suv's are the primary mode of transportation rather than light rail, buses or carpool lanes. After all, we live in Scottsdale where the car is GOD and nobody shares a ride here. Denny couldn't believe she was getting so much press. He was incensed at her efforts to increase traffic and speed it up rather than decrease traffic and make it safer for pedestrians and cyclists. Then he read in the paper about a young girl who was killed while walking by a hit and run. The driver only received three years in jail. That did it, something clicked for Denny and he has been hard at work on his computer. Denny has begun a letter writing campaign to the newspaper and to the city council. Mind you, with his aphasia, his letters are far from what they are used to receiving from him He has punctuated them with photos and set up a webpage showing images of traffic accidents, examples of good and bad bike paths side by side and short messages. I am so proud of him. He doesn't care that his letters aren't grammatically correct or even spelled right. He is fighting for his cause with a passion. Here is an example of one of his emails to the mayor: "scottsdale bad bike thanks 96th street" Then he added the like to the webpage he has set up. Translated this means - "Scottsdale is bad for people riding bikes. Thank you for installing the bike lanes and round about on 96th Street." He has done a similar thing with his anti-war campaign - complete with music. Lesson to learn here? Many people (not the people on this list) wrongly assume because a person has speech aphasia they cannot process complex thoughts. This is simply not true. While they may process things differently or more slowly, it doesn't mean they process thoughts with any less passion than the rest of us. I am so proud of Denny and his passion to change the world.

It was great to "meet" you the other night in the chat! Your story is a great story of recovery. Sounds like you have some really great people who care a lot about you. What a wonderful gift that is! Keep posting!

Wow, thanks for saying exactly what I have been feeling. Like you, I have this uncontrollable urge to tell people that everything is alright even if it isn't. Why is it that we do that? Is it because we were raised to be people pleasures? I sometimes think it is because if I let people know I need help, then their involvement will just turn into more work for me because I will need to coordinate their tasks. Easier to do it myself than as for help. When it comes to money, I just get so tired of being needy! Hope you week goes well...and you find a moments peace.

Kimmie - great news about your kids! You just go ahead and be proud - that is what a Mom is supposed to do. Glad the new AFO is working out for you. We are still trying to find just the right device for Denny. Sorry about the bad news and the added cost. Maybe your attorney can work out some kind of discount or payment plan for you. Doesn't hurt to ask.

Gosh Bob, that must have been a scary time. I am glad you have such good friends. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Nice! Thanks Sue. We hope you day was special!

That is just great news Betty Jean! Nothing like kids to liven up your day. My son-in-law owns a helicopter school in WA and wants one of those radio controlled helicopters. For a joke I bought him one of those small wood models from the hobby shop! I am laughing out loud thinking about the boxers! What a fun site that must have been. Laughter is good for the soul isn't it?

YEAH MEL! StrokeNetwork Ambassador!

Love this entry Phyllis! Especially since I just had my own experience with a beepdriver and a table I was trying to assemble. I talked my son into taking it back to the store for me because I was too embarassed to tell them I beeped it up!

Kristina - a chat for teens is a great idea. Welcome to Blog World!

Yep! And I am still smiling. Denny used to send me love poems all the time when I was on the road. This is the best one yet.

Thanks for the kind words Asha. I would love to meet you too! Maybe as the group grows and we get more "members meeting members" we will have to move to the NEXT level and have a Strokenet convention somewhere!