azrabbit

That is good advice you give your kids. I remember when I was away from home for 4 months caring for my mother during the final months of her life. I felt so bad being away from my husband and children and mentioned it to my husband. He said, "That's ok, they will understand AND you are teaching them the value of human life." Now they are grown and you know what, they agree!

Denny really enjoys his asphasia group too. I enjoy the photos of your dog!

That sounds like a lot of work! Way to go. I must have 500 CD's and I can't imagine what a job that was to load it all on your computer. You will have to post the web link when you get it all set up so we can all have a listen.

Bill, do you have any recourse against the person that caused your accident? Have you asked your speech therapist if there is a speech software you can try? At least that way you can work on your computer a little each day building your speech and vocabulary skills. It is ok to get angry, sometimes fighting the system just wears you out. You should be proud of how much you are accomplishing yourself. You are doing all the right things.

That is great news. Denny is working hard on getting movement in his arm too. Seems like they have a lot in common. Hopefully he will come out to the next AZ get together.

He sounds like a sensitive young man. How neat that he cares about you enough to write a paper about what has made a huge change in your life.

Thanks for giving us all an education about the treatments. It is facinating and I love reading about your progress. Sending you all the energy we can as you work hard on recovery.

Sue, I am so glad you and Ray have good friends that care enough to spend time with you both! What a great day that must have been.

We love to watch the birds too. Winter in AZ is great for bird watching because we get so many migrating species. I have a feeder right outside my office window that Denny keeps filled. I have a cardinal couple that comes twice daily, gila woodpeckers, tons of gambel quail, doves, finches, cactus wrens and more. I'll have to post some in the gallery. Thanks for posting such a neat story about the birds at your home.

Waht a nice story and a wonderful tribute to your Dad!

You go girl! After spending all afternoon working on corporate tax forms etc, I am SOOOOOO jealous. Good to see you in such a good mood. It is almost like you are about to POP out of the screen.

OH I am so glad to see your post. Just yesterday I was going through the blogs and wondering if all was well in China. I hope you get over the cold quickly and then can get back on and post some good news!

We are so happy for Ray and for you, Sue. It is always great to read about the good things that happen in the lives of our friends here. Be safe driving. I think taking a friend along once in a while is a great idea. Thanks for hosting such a fun chat last night!

Yumm! Fresh trout. Makes me want to load up the motorhome and go fishing. Glad you got some action from the park.

Hi and welcome to blog world! I didn't have a stroke and raising my daughter through her teen years was very difficult. Yes, they have a way of making you think everything is your fault, after all like you said, we are the MOMS! I think I spent a big part of my daughter's 15th year in my closet telling myself, "This is not about me!" She is married now and expecting her first child. We have learned how to be friends again. Stroke or not, it is hard to be a parent. I once told my daughter that I was sorry I wasn't the mother she expected, but since she was my first, I was learning as I go and a little slack on her part would go a long way. Is there a stroke support group in your area? Maybe it would be good to see if there are other teenagers or children of stroke survivors? I bet they need someone to talk too also. Keep coming to the site - we are hear to listen.

I have sometimes felt that young women coming up expect the right to move up the ladder and be successful. They don't realize the work and sacrifices that went into assuring equal pay for equal work. I am currently reading a book (with a 2004 publish date) titled "Love, Money, Control - Reinventing Estate Planning," so I can be sure our estate is managed appropriately to take care of Denny should something happen to me before he dies. Imagine my SHOCK when I read the book and all of the instances and slant of the writing was how a HUSBAND can manage his estate. There was even a section on how to disinherit a wife! I know the author and have worked with him on a few charity remainder trusts for a non profit with which I was associated. I couldn't believe my eyes reading this book. So to your question, "Is the movement alive and well?" I don't think so! It appears we still have a great deal of work to do.

Sue - just to echo the thoughts above - you and Ray are in our thoughts and prayers. E.

:console: Hi Kim, Wow you sure have had a lot on your plate lately. I am sending you my good thoughts and prayers for a better week. Jean has written some great things about finding your "new normal" after a stroke. It really helped me to focus on defining what I would accept as our "normal" after Denny's stroke a year ago. I think it is a continuing process, but know that things can get better. Sue is right on when she suggests getting Chris back to the neurologist for the headaches. Has he been checked for a PFO (patent foramen ovale)? There is some evidence to suggest that it contributes to migraine headaches. Do a search on this site for more information since several here have posted about the relationship between the PFO, STROKE and headaches. Hang in there and know that we are all thinking about you!

Que Bueno!

Thank you Bonnie. I will check it out!

Sue, We are praying for Ray AND for you.

That is a great idea Jean! I am going to look for a couple this weekend when we are out.

It has been one year and a few days since Denny's stroke on New Year's Eve 2005. What a roller coaster ride it has been. I started New Year's Eve this year like a CNN broadcast with a day and year in review, complete with pictures, videos and memories - all in my mind of course. When it got too painful to relive I headed to the New Year's Eve party on the chat site here. It was good to visit with the survivors and caregivers and know that life does go on. Determined to not sit and stew in my sadness, I opened a great bottle of wine, poured some into a beautiful crystal goblet and headed for the hot bath that Denny had prepared for me. Fixing my bath was something he did often before the stroke. When I would return home from traveling for my job, he would have champagne on ice, strawberries and a hot bath waiting. Talk about being pampered. It was really sweet that he thought to do this for me on New Year's Eve....it had been over a year since he pampered me. I will admit the bath water was a bit salty from the tears. The bath preperation was a signal of change. Denny, always the caretaker in our relationship, made my world spin right. Daily he would rise early, bring in the paper, make the coffee and bring it to me in bed. Yep ladies, he really did! He managed all the bills, the outdoor household chores, cars, trucks, boats and ran his business. He supported me in my business by managing my web sites, banking, taxes, layout and printing of marketing materials and of course, the baths! Fast forward to 2007, all those things are now my responsibility. We are fortunate that we had savings to help us through the past year, but I am now faced with the need to 1) find a job that has healthcare benefits or 2) work like heck to build my business back up so I can afford to pay our medical bills and premiums. The problem with option two is I would have to travel again - extensively - and I am not willing to be away from Denny that much. It is just too hard on both of us. So I have dusted off the resume and started sending it out with carefully worded cover letters. I don't remember the last time I had to "apply" for a job. It is all pretty daunting. Through all of this, Denny has decided he can do something to make money. The speech aphasia alone is a big problem. He thought he could pass out carts at Wal-Mart and practiced, "Hello, here's your sticker" accompanied by a big smile. We both laughed and decided that may not be the best job. He was a successful photographer before his stroke and still takes amazing photos. We are looking into creating some custom greeting cards with his desert photos and flower photos that we might be able to sell. He also used to have an outdoor recreational outfitting business at the Grand Canyon. His company was the first company permitted to provided guided mountain bike and day hikes at the south rim. Since guiding tours requires both his hands and his speech, he decided that won't work. Then it happened. He came into my office with his notebook and drawings, gestures and repeating the words "bike, two, bike, two, money, job, me." After a lot of quizzing, I finally figured out he wanted me to write down the word "pedi-cab." He headed back to his office and was busy on his computer. A few hours later he emails me a photo of a pedi-cab and the message said, "hi honey, job, me, money." That night at dinner we "talked" about how he thought he could get a job driving a pedi-cab around sporting events and concerts to give people rides. He was determined that he could do it. While he is strong enough to get his own bike around, I am not sure he could manage pulling along another 300 or 400 pounds of people. Then I told him the pay you get was generally from tips and that the more you chatted up the clients, the better the tips. He shrugged and kept eating. So I decided we would role play a bit. Me: "OK, I just finished my dinner and I need a ride to the concert. I walk up to your pedi-cab and what do you say?" Denny: "Hi!" BIG GRIN Me: "I need a ride to the theater." Denny: "OK" Bigger grin and gesture to get in the pedi-cab Me: "What's your name?" Denny: Apologetic smile "Don't know, sorry, thank you." Me: "Are you from around here?" Denny: "Yes, No, Waaaay Waaaay away, Brrrrr cold, bad." This means Illinois and it was too cold there. Me: Just smiling and not sure what to say. Denny: In his very best Brooklyn accent, "So, howyadoin?" BIG BIG SMILE We laughed a lot and decided maybe pedi-cab driver may not be the right job for him. But it was such a good exercise in seeing how he processed the questions and was able to reply and for the most part, get his point across. He is still busy everyday trying to find a job. In the meantime, I have started to encourage him to do jobs around the house. Things I was too worried to ask him to do because I didn't want him to fall or get hurt. He has figured out how to use the leaf blower, strip the bed and wash the sheets, do the dishes, and his favorite, put food in the bird feeders outside. I drew the line at putting the chemicals in the pool when I found him flat on his back, reaching with all his might to get the chlorine floater out of the pool. Denny and I will both keep looking for employment. I just know that 2007 and has to be better. When I read Asha's update on the message board where she went from wondering if life was worth it two years ago to the positive and encouraging person she is today, I knew that 2007 would be better. For the first time, I am actually looking forward to the future. Thanks Asha for the proving to me things will and do get better.