hpoirier

Whoo hoo Asha.I'm with you. Let's pary now and not worry about the party pooper parts. I agree that one stupid arm is not worth missing a good dance for**Heather

Would like to thank the strokenet member who took time to touchbase with me. Thanks for the chat and sharing.We both agreed, no one can really understand where we are coming from except those who are walking our walk and it's nice to discuss issues with someone on the same path..TThanks...Heather

I appreciate your blunt questions. Makes me think.. He REALLY thinks,because he is putting a roof over my head and looing afer my physical needsI.e. food etc. , that I have nothing to complain about. I really believe, he has totally lost the concept of what marriage is all about,in trying to protect himself from further devastating feelings as the ones he experienced, when I almost died. He considers himself a self-made man and refuses to askk for help from strangers(counselling, church) so ended up turning to a 'friend" because she was just there. He would probably not "gve up" on our marriage either because he IS NOT a quitter, but in the meantime, his interpretation is mind-boggling....

Sebi,I have hired people to do small things but the real major stuff is beyond my financial means.I don't wanna get myself into a corner moneywise

Heart to heart talk? We sometimes get moments at our cottage together. That is the only time I am in the same room as her. We call them our Oprah moments as we usually have some pretty heavy discussions. Mostly about how much she LOVES my husband(like a brother) How I gotta get overmyself and this stroke and think about him. (She has no clue how Ihave lived and breathed him, since we got marrid. Even my husband told me to stop listening to her when she says stuff like that. Oh, I can't stay at her place "cause it is dangerous for me in my condition. It is an older house with bad stairs etc. That's the explaination, I got

I go and visit from time to time but am NOT welcome at his friend's place so I would have to stay with my brother-in-law,45 minutes away. That's a lot of drviing truouble for everyone and he certaiinly does not hold back on his opinion about that

Thank you o much Susan. I will check out the site. I think he was seeing as a "friend" much earlier,than when I found out. I just happen to stumble on the evidence because he was probably getting too smug. Yeh,It's about him alright. Always about him..

Haha, What the heck would I do with a chippendale? Now that would be a comedy scene!and unfortunately, I don't need that I need a strong man,whom I thought I married...I guess I married a dumb one though

I sit here, uable to understand how my life has come to the point,where I am sitting alone,my heart broken in a neglected house,limited abilities and income,still married,after 5years of stroke recovery,while my husband spends his days off at his female friend's house, doing chores for her,while her own husband lives alone in a fancy condo and to "busy" to help her.He stood by me and looked out for my well being thru my whole crisis,but them proceeded to involve this person in our lives Are caregivers knon to need to do this or is my husband special?

Well, today is my 5th stroke year anniversary. I am sitting infront of a t.v., I can actually hear. 5 years ago, it was only possible with subtitles. tomorrow, I am off to our cottage, the scene of the crime,as it were. That is where the stroke happened. On a supposed- to -be- romantic weekend with my husband, after 2 stressful weeks of me trying to bear the thought that he was poosibly having an affair, we were at our cottage to attend his sister's 50th birthday party and as well,spend some time clearing up the issues that dealt with his relationship with a female collegue at work. I had spent that previous two weeks, crying 24/7.Doctors visits and questions to my husband did nothing to aleviate the pain I was feeling, having discovered blatant evidence of the situation.I had not drank liquor for 20 incredibly healthfilled years, prior to the evening,due in part to my illogical theory,that one drinker in the family was enough. One of us had to have their mind and body intact for the sake of the kids, so I just stopped. Now at 50 years of age, I had decided, I deserved to enjoy, .in moderation, everything that god offered on this earth, so as a toast to my sister- in- law, I had a few glasses of wine. When we got back to the cottge from the party, I started to show signs of stroke. paralysis, falling, headache. the following morning, my husband drove me the 21/2 hours back home to our neighbourhood hospital for the diagnosis. That was 5 years ago. Today, I walk, I talk, I can hear reasonably well. I cannot use my left hand or arm,I was let go of my job, my driving license was taken away, but my husband did stick around and tend to his responsabilities, concerning me. I have been able to reahilitate in comfortable surroundings,and have help with weekly chores. My sister abandonned me, unable to endure watching her once active sibling altered by such disabilities. I have planned a few long morning walks for my cottage visit and some heavy-duty writing time. I am hosting a dinner party with our country neighbours and have purchased a special bottle of red wine, I have been wanting to crique. I will drink lots of icy well water, which I have nicknamed my life champagnewater. I am going to read and get up late and enjoy whatever sunshine that can makes it's way thru the snow- filled clouds. I will do everything slowly and enjoy each moment. And that is the celebration planned for 5 unexpected years of life