adchill

Why is it that I stop doing my exercises because I feel a bit better. My exercises are not hard and I have time to do them but I don

Yet another day of thinking. I went to church today and that was good, but I also wore a pair of earrings, mine you this is something I haven

Well today is another day and it is weird. I am still trying to be positive but I have faltered a little bit because I had a negative thought and I just moved it from my mind. Sometimes this feels like a dream and I can

That is great. Keep up the good work! Amy

Way to go. That is awesome. You are succeed and doing what you set your mind on it. You are an inspiration to me and I am sure others. Amy :happydance: :happydance:

Well today is a pretty good day. I just sat around watching movies and resting. This is good. I also told myself I need to read what I write in my blog, because I read what I wrote and all I can say is oh

Well I am in Texas with my mom for a couple of weeks so she can take care of some business. I see now that I am pretty scared about going in public but I still go because I have to. I used to be such an out going personality but now I am quiet and reserved. Mostly because I get so frustrated to communicate so I just be quiet. Oh now that really doesn't make sense because I can talk not the best but I can do that. Why can't I seem to remember that? The last couple of days I have days that I can't understand I had a stroke. Not me... this is all the dream because I feel pretty good. Like I used to feel after a regular day. SOme tiredness but otherwise ok. That is a very strange feeling. I also am started to care about my appearance again and I didn't do that a couple of months ago. I just wear my to big seats and a sweatshirt. Before all this I used to love watches, I mean there are some womend that love shoes and clothes and I like watches, not the expense ones but the ones that cost 20.00 or less and I have quite a number of them but now I don't even wear a watch. It makes me sad but yesterday I had a desire to wear a watch. That is a good sign. Yesterday I saw my 5th grade teacher. I immediately asked her I had a stroke so I am recovering. She said oh but then she just said keep going. YOu know I realize I am not ashame that I had a stroke and I would love to educate people that it is not age specific because everyone can get a stroke. NOw I see that having a bad headache is a sign as well. I wish I had known that I wonder if I would have went to the dr. faster. Probably not because it just felt like a sinus headache and I have had those before. Oh well I can't change the fact that this has happened but rather try to understand and learn and be patience. Patience why is that so hard and why am I so hard on myself. I don't know I have to think about that. I seem to be jumping around all the place when writing this but that is how I feel because I seem to have so much in my head and it just wants to come out and they are all trying to come out the same time.

I can understand because I feel the same way. You said it so elegantly. You are not alone. Amy

Thank you for the positive thoughts. I really need that with this journal. I love reading your blog. Amy

Well today I have finished my sudoku and that is an accomplishment. I am still trying to figure out me and who I am. I still get jealous because of all the things I used to do. I know I am supposed to focus on positive but then that little voice says well you should be mad and you should

you are so inspiration. I am going to adopt that attitude because the other is not working. Amy

Well today is my second day. It was going pretty good. I went to 2 dr appointments. They are telling me I need to start to enjoy things. I still ask how do I do that. I feel funny all the time. I have a dull headache occasionally but I am just supposed to just get back in there. I am SCARED and afraid and the first step is so hard. Sometimes I dream and everything is ok, I feel normal and then I wake up and see this is real and I feel no normal. WHY do I feel this way? Why can