kanderson

Stroke Survivor - female
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Blog Entries posted by kanderson

  1. kanderson
    i just wanted to wish everyone a happy valentines day. and to thankyou for your comments on my previous entry about my nephew. as i may have mentioned before. chris's memorial service was on monday at cowboy stadium with over 7000,00 people attending. his wife taya gave a beautiful speech about chris. then tuesday was the procession to austin for his burial with his seals and
    patriot guard riders/freedom riders in the lead. the welcome they got along the 4 hour ride was the same as chad got in his hometown. everyone raising the american flag, saluting and hands over hearts.my niece and her daughter went along to support chris wife. i watched it all on tv. chad had a birthday on monday. my neice and daughter went to visit chad's grave. morgan his daughter has been
    really a brave little girl over this and a good friend to chris's daughter. morgan went back to school on monday and talked with the counselor and ate lunch together. i think this was a great idea
    my sister called today to see how i'm doing and i asked her the same thing, she said they were putting each foot in front of the other, which is all they can do right now. i hope and pray their grief and pain with gods help will slowly ease with time. i also wanted to apologize in my last blog, that in no way was our loss was in no way bigger than the sandy hook, or columbine tragedies.
    those involved innocent children that will never have the chance to experience the many other things life has to offer. i wish i could take away the pain and suffering those families have had to deal with. but i do understand it now. god please watch over your children and stop these senseless acts of violence.
  2. kanderson

    my nephew

    By kanderson,

    well, i have posted on the board about the terrible loss my family has endured this past week, so i won't go into it again. i just want to know, how do i deal with the hatred and bitterness i feel towards the guy who murdered 2 wonderful men. i know he was mentally ill, but to me right now, it makes no difference.
    i guess i feel like the families in the 911 attack. so many were murdered and the families who lost a loved one had to feel some bitterness. i know bad things happen to good people.but this has just devastated me and my family. chris's loss i'm sure is felt by hundreds of people,a veteran trying to help another veteran and our chad was there to help. it's been said by the media that the murderer felt that these 2 men were after him and he had to kill them before they killed him,PTSD thoughts i'm sure.
    chris was an experienced PTSD counselor for the veterans to adjust back to civilian life after fighting in a war. i don't know much about the disorder, fred could help me out there i'm sure. chris had been through 4 tours of duty in iraq, coming home alive and was an american hero. he was the best and most lethal sniper in the world, saving many soldiers from insurgent attacks. able to hit his targets as far as 21 football fields away. his memorial is today at cowboy stadium, which is to be televised here. my sister and her husband and chad's wife will be there for chris's family, as she was for us. i can't stop thinking about this, i wake up each day, knowing chad is gone, its the same i felt when my husband died. maybe i just need more time and this hate and bitterness will go away. i don't mean to whine, i have to stop dwelling on this, its just so hard. i hope our government will take notice that our vets need more help. but since vietnam, so many have received no help, so why do i think now that things will change.
  3. kanderson

    a very long time

    By kanderson,

    hello everyone, i know its been like forever since i last blogged, but it knew it would be a lengthly one and i kept putting it off. i'm not even sure where to start. my youngest son and i are not very happy here in tx.
    unbeknowst to us, my older son marc has a severe drug problem, which makes our lives a living hell. he yells and loses his temper all the time. he won't or is afraid to get off of them. he had a severe car accident a few years ago and injured his back, which is when he got addicted to vicodan. bu i think now he is doing other drugs. we rented a house with a years lease up in march 2013. each of us pays 400.00 a month to cover rent and other monthly bills. i think marc has maybe paid his full amount only maybe 3 times. other times expected me to pay everything. his girlfriend doesn;t let him see the kids very often because he yells at them too, i can't blame her for that. we thought moving back here would be the best thing for me, thinking my sister could help out alittle. she comes over to take me out as much as she can, she works full time and has had problems herself with her son, who went through a divorce not long ago and has developed mental issues, that he can't let things go and move on. he has 2 kids. he lives with my sister, finally got a job he has kept for some time now, so i think things are getting better for her. she has 3 grandkids which she has over alot. when john has his kids, my sister ends up taking care of them. her daughter leeanne helps out when she can. i think we should haved stayed in phx, rented a house,just me and my youngest son matt. he has been my main caregiver since his day died. he doesn't have much of a life, except working, caring for me, and everything else around the house, my oldest cooks maybe 3 times a week if we're lucky, thats his duty around here. i feel so bad for matt, he didn't ask for this but has been there for me since my stroke. my brother lives in houston, so i don't see him very often either. marc is extremely jealous of matt. matt is a nurse and works long days mostly 7 days a week. his employer doesn't give vacations or gas allowance, since he travels all over the city as a home health nurse, nor extra pay for holidays or weekends. his stress level along with mine does not make a good environent to live in, then you add marc into the mix, its only worse. marc has a bad temper and has gotten into our faces many times. i'm not sure what i need to do, i am so unhappy, although i know things could be worse. i guess i'm venting and whinning. i will save the rest for my next blog. i'm kinda embarrassed to even write about this, but every family has their problems, right.
  4. kanderson

    falling

    By kanderson,

    i know many survivors have had this happen to them after a stroke. i try to be so careful when i am home alone. i am tired of these falls, not that i've had dozens of them but i have had my share. most recently was last week. i was sitting in my recliner and leaned to my left(affected side to pick up something off of the floor. as soon as i felt myself coming off of the chair, i swung my good arm back to try and grab something to keep me upright, nothing there i could grab quick enough and down i went, hitting my head first on the wood floor, fell onto my bad side of coarse, i was so pi**ed. i did not hurt myself, or i thought anyway. i fell right next to the couch. so there i am trying to figure out how to get myself back up, therapy never taught me how to. so by then all 8 of my critters where beside me, knowing i wasn't suppose to be there. i had to get my arm out from under me, which i succeeded in doing, i got my good leg where i could push myself closer to the couch to try and get ahold of the couch arm to help me pull myself up, no luck there. i tried for 20 minutes to get myself up, i then called my nurse son to see if he could come and help me. i had even thought about holding onto my dobie's collar to have him pull me to something i could hold on to. he just looked at me and drooled all over my face, yuk yuk yuk. so i abandoned that idea and waited on my son. he got there quickly and got me up. i just hate these situations i get myself into. later on that day i felt a knot starting on my forehead and the top of my head, but no pain or headache, so i felt i was ok. my pt supervisor from home health was due to come over thinking he could help me instead of bothering my son. but he never showed or called until later. i woke up the next morning with a black eye, gorgeous!! the pt guy showed up yesterday and he wanted me to continue therapy, good idea, you think!! to help me learn to get up by myself. when my oldest son found out, i got a big lecture that i'm not safe by myself. i reminded him that falls do happen with stroke survivors, sometimes they are unpreventable. i guess i wasn't seated in my chair good enough, like i thought i was, oops. since i have moved to tx, i have fallen 3 times now, broke ribs on my trip to tx, fell after that and hurt my back, luckily this time not a major setback. maybe this is a sign of bad luck,moving back home, LOL so now i get my anxiety levels up every time i get up again. having only 1 side that works makes things so difficult, as many survivors know already. i hope with more therapy, this won't happen again. i will find out soon enough i hope, so wish me luck please!
  5. kanderson

    grandkids

    By kanderson,

    you know, the thing i hate about this stroke, is the fact that i cannot be the grammie i wanted to be, i cannot swoop my grandkids up in my arms and love and kiss on them, nor get on the floor to play with them. they are starting to get used to me now, jake calls me to come over. i struggle with the energy to just keep up with them.evan is a daddy's boy and somewhat shy but always has a smile on his face to give me. i still have to use a cane to walk, so running after them to play, i cannot do either. i guess i need to be grateful that i have them in my life now since moving back to tx. its just not the same and it angers me and brings back bitter feelings of having this damn stroke taking the part of my life where normally i would probably be retired or close to it enjoying my senior years with my kids and grandkids, taking them places, babysitting etc. i know we have to do things differently now. but some things i still cannot do even differently it doesn't help that i lost the love of my life last year. the 1st year is creeping up on me already 8-24 where did the time go, keeping busy has helped me tremendously to help me get through that nightmare. i get jealous of my sister, having the life i wanted at our ages. she works, has the grandkids alot, takes them places, goes on weekend vacations with her daughter and hubby. she won't listen to my whining, can't blame her there, lol she knows i have been through alot but doesn't completely understand stroke. how can she, she hasn't lived it like i have. my nurse son matt still has not found a nursing job if you can believe that, when they need them so badly. he doesn't have experience, well duh, how is he suppose to get it? sometimes i think we would have been better off staying in arizona. he would have been working by now with the friends he had and nursing teachers, plus my nursing friends i knew, i keep praying something will come through. nowadays, you don't walk in looking for work. all is done online, he has sent his resume to everyone with a few calls back to come in for an interview. he has no friends here and is becoming really depressed. his brother rides his a** about finding a job, he has even applied at non nursing jobs. his brother is working so he doesn't understand very well. matt helps me here at home, taking me to appointments, shopping, where ever i need to go. he does chores around the house and earns his keep, so i give him alittle money every month, so he has some spending money of his own. i have also helped marc out financially when he's needed it, sibling rivalry i guess. i let the credit card lawsuit go, my credit is shot anyway, filing bankruptcy seems like the thing to do at this point. now i need to focus on the 2009 taxes hubby didn't file. it just doesn't end. but others have worse problems than i have.i have so many friends on here dealing with severe health problems, either them or their family members.
    hostkaren and bill, leah and her hubby jerry, hostalan,ray and sue just to name a few,i worry about them alot. donna fell yesterday, nothing broken thank god,but bruised up pretty badly, i envy her being able to get herself up, even her daughter kristina was proud of her, she was gone when this happened. my health with my blood pressure is all over the place again and my heart rate to low had me concerned, but dr changed around my meds and all is better now. my home health nurse caught it on her weekly visit.called the dr and got a message stating if you want a call back from a doctor there will be a 25.00 charge, i cracked up when she told me that CAN U BELIEVE THAT. i thought good grief what happened to our physicians and being on call, geez needless to say the nurse hung up and i was to watch myself and go to er if i felt funny. duh yes i know the warning signs and i know my body. most of this is stress related, then i get a itchy rash on my good arm in the crook of mr elbow where i couldn't scratch it, just as well as i tend to be alittle rough on my body when i do things like that. turns out it was an allergic rash to what i have no clue,with a cortisone shot to fix it, the heat is terrible here and all over the country. i try to say indoors. the ac in the truck died on us. just another bump to get over again. my ot therapist referred me to a good mechanic they use so hopefully i won't get ripped off. people tend to take advantage of me, which is not good. any way this is my life's update . things will get better and always do. i am just having a bad day. i ask for prayers so my son matt can finally get to work in the field he choose and loves. i am sending love and prayers to all of my friends that need a blessing for recovery and healing thank you for reading my venting
  6. kanderson

    damn its hot here

    By kanderson,

    ok who turned on the heat, i'm dying here. our rental home's ac is not working correctly, so the landlord(my brother in law) is trying to fix it today, a compressor issue i'm told which is under warranty. patience doesn't always come easy to me but i'm trying. today is shower day with my lady from home health and that will cool me off i hope. the ac blower in car went out too but my son matthew fixed that for us. since my stroke, my body cannot handle heat well at all, i get to hot, then the bad headaches come. we had just put a new ac on our house in az before they took it from us which i should have taken it with me, LOL they put them on the roof out there so it would have been a big hassle to get it down. it sure kept our house at a nice temperature in the summer, so i was always comfortable. here it's a different heat with more humidity. maybe i need a baby pool outside. like i could get in and out, not, but its a nice cooling thought. i got some away time a few weeks ago. my siblings and i went to okla to see my dad for his 86th birthday. we had a great time and so did daddy. it was just a weekend trip but we can do more trips since i am closer now. my brothers wife's family puts us up at their house, cooks and really are wonderful people i feel so at ease when i'm there. i don't worry about falling, walking outside, etc. the anxiety i usually have is gone maybe because i know there are people everywhere to help me if i need it. anyway it was a nice short trip i got to see other family members i hadn't seen in awhile other than on facebook, lol
     
    i get home and had received a letter from a attorney telling me that one of the credit card debts we owed has taken me to court. LOVELY these people are ruthless, i was paying the card each month, until hubby's income stopped coming in. i had payed this card off twice before in the past, then we had to use it again and the balance grew. they turned it over to collections and i spoke to those people explaining my situation, husband died, no home, having to move, on disability, etc, hopefully thinking they would just write it off, well i guess not, so now i need to talk to someone here to work on my behalf to get this resolved, or a judgement against me would be a bad thing, garnishing my bank account. like i have money to pay someone to help me with this, not. but i'll call them just to hear my options. you can't get blood out of a turnip but they think they can. discover card is not my friend but it was when i was still working and able to pay it off. haha the hits just keep on coming folks!! we had alot of credit card debt, i think bankruptcy is the only option, but that is costly as well. just more bs in my life after stroke. the grandsons are the joy that the bad things can't take from me.
  7. kanderson
    hello again everyone. this past year was a terrible one for me and my family. my husbands business was failing after 30 years due to the economy. which meant no income from him. our house ended up in foreclosure because the bank wouldn't work with us,,millions of others were caught up in the same re-financing scams out there. we hired an attorney to help us, to continue with the case, he wanted more money, which we didn't have, so we had to be out by 12-6,2010. my hubby (andy) was under so much stress. he was complaining all day long of severe heartburn on 8-24-10. since he had a previous heart attack, i suspected the worse and i told him that. before i went to bed that night, i wanted to call 911, no he said, i couldn't call them anyway, if they came and he refused to go, they couldn't take him. partly the reason i think he wouldn't go is the expense, he had no insurance,and i think he wanted the stress to end and he felt like a failure, from conversations we had before. i was very angry with him for not letting me help him, matt and i both told him that day, he needed to go to the hospital, BUT NO!!,as heartless as it sounds. matt and i went to bed. i woke up after hearing him getting sick in the bathroom, i got up and went to check on him, finding him on the floor, with his feet wedged against the door, where i could barely open it, he wouldn't respond to me, so i then knew what happened, i screamed for my son to try to help him with CPR, but he couldn't get him out of the bathroom, i called 911, they got there quickly but it was to late. he died that night at 57 years old. my son and i were devastated to say the least. andy and i had been married for 40 years since we 16 years old. i was so angry, hurt and lost at the same time, it made me feellike he wanted to die, he was unhappy for many reasons, one of which was my stroke. i am still overcome with grief, but it will ease with more time. i have now moved to tx to be with my family, i fell on the trip and broke 5 of my ribs, then i fell in our new home , then hurt my back, i now live with my sons, which is alot different than when they were kids, LOL. i am under home health now to get me stronger again with therapy and getting my bp pressure under control again. i think all of the stress i was under and still am at times has not helped me since ive moved back here. my other home was more set up for me and was carpeted, this home has wood floors, which is different to walk on for me anyway. i am trying to be more cautious, but i am fearful most of the time. i just need time for all of the huge changes in my life to settle down i guess. i miss andy so much, but i brought him here to be buried, so i can visit him when i want to. his birthday is tomorrow, which adds to my sorrow. i was not expecting to lose the love of my life so soon. life seems unfair at times, since my stroke, i've lost my mother too. i don't think i can bare much more heartache. sorry to be so depressing in my update blog.
  8. kanderson
    i didn't think its been that long since i blogged, but the screen don't lie. its been busy around here at times. we have been thinking of packing up and moving back to texas, our home. work here for my hubby is pretty much non-existent. our housing situation isn't much better. we have been fighting our bank for over a year and the attorney isn't getting anywhere either. i think its just time to walk away and move on. the economy is terrible everywhere. all of our family is back in texas or oklahoma and i want to spend more time with my dad while hes still with us. my brother is getting transferred to houston for his job, so i will even have them there now. we have lived in arizona for over 30 years, my youngest son was born here but the good news with him is he passed the nursing board test and is now an LPN. we are just waiting for his license to come then he can work anywhere even in other states without retesting in that state. so i think its just a matter of time before we pack it up and move. this will be a huge challenge for me but one i will enjoy i think. finding a new home will be the hard part as we have a farm moving with us. 4 dogs, 3 cats and a ferret. i will not give up my pets, my little one mya is 6months old now and is the joy of my life, she has given me so much love and affection since her unexpected birth. her mother gypsy has now been spayed so this will not happen again. its mya's turn now and this will be done. my grandsons both are growing and keeping their mom and dad in line. jake definitely has taken on the big brother role. i am sorry i still haven't posted any pictures of my brood yet, i have been trying to keep my puter clean of viruses and kinda afraid of doing anything with it lately. definitely staying away from fb, just when i was having fun there, figures huh. i will pick out the ones i want and have someone help me and i'll get 'er done. i think i have covered my exciting life since my last blog. my volunteer work here on strokenet keeps me busy most days with chatting and the other things i do. i do get up a zillion times a day to let the dogs out and potty training a puppy that is not easy when you cannot move fast enough to get the door open for her, but bless her heart shes learning and if you saw how sweet her face is you couldn't get mad at her if she doesn't make it . thats why we have a carpet shampooer, accidents do happen. but she's mama's baby mya girl.!!!!!! do you think i've spoiled her yet?? nnnnaaaawwww i don't think so. so thats my life, different chapter. til next blog, hugs to all
  9. kanderson

    a grandmother again

    By kanderson,

    hello everyone, i got good news this morning, i am a new grammie. the baby was born this morning and mother and baby are doing well. the baby retained some fluid in his lungs so they are addressing that issue right now by placing a tube in his lungs. seems he is following in his big brothers footsteps with the lung issue. there is no infection. he weighed 6.7lbs and has alot of hair. he was going to be delivered on friday anyway he would have been 36 weeks that day. the mother tiffany's water broke today and a blood clot was found so the dr thought it best to take him today. if you will remember tiffany has had alot of problems carrying them. she also had a hysterectomy today, so no more babies. her body just can't do it again. i'm not sure of his name, but my son did mention evan when he called me, but this could change of coarse. they are to excited right now to worry about a name i guess. they were both exhausted when i spoke to my son, i'll learn more tomorrow i'm sure.
    now my other news but really its no news, little gypsy appears to maybe be pregnant, but not confirmed by the vet. they couldn't be certain without doing an ultrasound but i could'nt afford that right now. they did an xray also inconclusive also. she acts pregnant, big appetite, nipples growing and has gained a few lbs. it could be a false pregnancy too. i guess dawson maybe got to her when her diaper was off, (you think) duh. she hasn't started nesting though which will be the definite clue. if so, i will be a grammie again,LOL dr said she was healthy and the sweetest dog for being part chihuahua, that he'd ever seen, awwww my little gypsy is a sweetie and full of love and kisses. i'm sure she will make a great mother if she is pregnant . but if not pregnant we are doing to spay her so i won't have this worry again. my nerves can't handle it again,LOL between tiffany and gypsy. i have been stressed to much. well thats about all my news tonight, i think i'll head to bed now. i wish everyone a good week ahead with blessings and good things kimmie
  10. kanderson
    :wreath: yes the season is upon us and before we know it the day is gone and we reflect back on the chaos it took us to get to that point. well those days i no longer miss, it caused to much stress. although i did enjoy decorating for it. we got out our little tree today and i do mean little and thats ok. i'm just not into getting the big tree out and doing all that decorating. so we will put a few ornaments on the little tree maybe a few lights and i'll be happy with that. i have completed my shopping online, not having to go out once. i have been trying to bake a few simple things to have around to snack on. my youngest son needs a computer and it kills me not being able to get it for him this year, due to finances. he deserves it as he helps me out so much here at home when he's not working. but to my surprise, our IRS refund came the other day so that might help with the computer issue. i have always gotten my kids what they wanted for xmas, i always found a way. i always spent the same amount of money on each one for fairness sake. my oldest is discovering how expensive babies are now that he has 2. i wish i was able to go home to see them for christmas, but not this year. they are keeping me updated with pictures of baby evan so that will have to do. another reason i wanted to go home was to be there for my nephew and his family, he just recently lost his home to a fire after a power line fell on it. thankfully everyone got out safely and they were able to salvage a few things but not the christmas presents. but my sister is making sure the kids 5 and 2 will have a great xmas despite their losses. my newest baby mya is 8weeks old now and is the cutest thing ever. she is learning things really fast and getting into everything just like babies do. she has keep me moving alot to keep my eye on her. to make sure she is not annoying the cats to much. we have taken her for her 1st set of shots which she didnt mind to much and she weighs 4 lbs already shes a small breed so that is a good weight for her. other than that, things are going well. i want to wish all members, my friends, and fellow staff members. a very merry christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. 2010 can only get better right. enough of the war, economy crisis and foreclosures, lets get the good ole US of A back on its feet again. :santa: :reigndeer:
  11. kanderson

    update on puppy

    By kanderson,

    hello again, its time i updated about our new addition to the household. just let me start off my saying she is adorable, we have decided on mya, as her name. she is 3weeks old now. eyes open, walking around and loves to lick your face. she looks more like daddy everyday and daddy is goo-goo over her, he licks her face when he gets to see her and listens for her crys when mama is out of the box. he goes to check on her, then wherever mama is she comes flying out to check on her daughter, she chases the cats away if they show any sign of going into our bedroom. she does not tolerate the big dog at all and chases him off too. shes very protective and feeds her baby well. it now takes 2 hands to handle her without fear of dropping her. my hubby brings her to me several times a day so i can love and cuddle with her. she falls asleep on my chest and mama is right here with us. she has brought me so much happiness and joy along with her mother. she will remain with us as you probably figured out by now, i couldn't part with her even if i tried. my grandsons evan and jake are doing great also.too bad we don't live closer to them, mya would make a great dog for the boys. our weather here had turned cold for a few days and now its warming up again. we don't turn our clocks back tomorrow, so i will have to get used to the times again so i don't miss chat's. for some reason it always confuses me. brain damage, i bet,LOL. i wish everyone a great halloween and enjoy the ghosts and goblins knocking on your door. they are to cute. if you live somewhere where you you get snow, please be careful out there, stay safe, warm and flu free. adios, til i blog again.
    yes to those that will ask i plan on getting the pictures posted but i have to figure it all out still. this is high tech stuff to me. i promise i will, honest!!!
  12. kanderson

    gypsy's surprise

    By kanderson,

    well folks, gypsy started acting funny last friday, she was all over the house, really uncomfortable and whining, it was nearing her 60th day, so we watched her all weekend and then the nesting started everywhere, she was whining alot and i was coming unglued seeing her like this, so monday am off to the vet again, exam and xrays showed no pups. its a false pregnancy, they will go through all of the stages as a real pregnant dog does, she had morning sickness, breasts getting better and nesting. ok hubby brings her home with meds to calm her down, valium and another med to stop the pregnacy symptoms, ok i'll take the valium. we gave her the meds, she runs into our bedroom and dives under the bed. then i see her drag out the piece of luggage we had under the bed, the one you hang your clothes in. i tell my husband andy to come see what shes doing, we both laugh and he picks up the luggage bag and we heard a noise and gypsy is on my lap going nuts, we unzip the bag, andy says what the hell was that and looks in, i look in and pull out a puppy, she had the puppy sunday night in the bag all by herself, even after i fixed her a box, instinct kicked in really well. no wondered xray showed nothing she had already had it duh. we called the vet, they were shocked as we were and asked to see pup and mom again. so andy carts both back to the vet for exam. and mom and baby girl are doing very well. wouldn't you think the exam that morning would have shown she had given birth? i need another valium, false pregnancy my *beep*, now i respect the field of veterinary medicine, i wanted to be one myself, but wrong diagnosis 3 times. i need another valium. so far gypsy has proven to be a great mother just alittle tough with her. she as tried to carry the pup onto our bed at night and under the covers where she normally sleeps. we woke up to the pup really making noise so we intervened and got the pup back to the box. the pup is a chiweenie. part chihuahua and miniature long haired daschund. the father dawson was unimpressed when presented with the pup, he sniffed and licked her and ran off to give out cigars i guess,LOL i am exhausted at this point the valiums are kicking in so i try to nap, then i remember i am to do chat that night, so bonnie comes into the chat room and i tell her the news and ask if she can cover it so i can babysit,LOL the other critters stay far away from her she is very protective of her baby and she lets you know it. she won't even go out to potty unless she is picked up and carried out and baby comes to me to protect her. the pup looks alot like the dad so far, which we will probably keep, even though that breed fetchs a nice penny both parents are pure breeds. its been 4 days now and puppy is obviously eating well and gaining weight. i have never been through a dog birth only cats. i assure you this won't happen again! i have pictures i will post as soon as i can.
  13. kanderson

    gypsy the harlot

    By kanderson,

    hi folks, as the title says, my little gypsy girl is in heat for the 1st time since bringing her home with me from my vacation trip. as many of you know i am a huge animal lover of all kinds. mostly in my life i have had male dogs, not females. so i've not been privy to this ritual. in alot of animal species it is the males that do their mating dance to attract the females, and the females will put put out alot of resistance, until they are ready, but not with my gypsy girl. she can rival the best contortionist of all time. i have never seen a dog be able to position herself in a split second and contort her tail out of the way as fast as a lightening bolt. shes does a 360 in seconds flat to get the best position possible. as stated in my previous blog, she and dawson now are best buds. she follows him everywhere with her little rear end to his face. i will leave the graphic details out as this point, she has her diaper on but that doesn't stop her. oh no! dawson is ravishing attention on her like a queen. he is exhausted to say the least without reward!! she raises that little rear end even to the cats, she is a desperate female. this started yesterday and it has been hysterical to watch. even going outside she has moments of confusion, thinking she is a female in trying to do her squat to do her business but other times she tries the male version of urinating, almost falling over, lifting her leg. she can't let any male be better than her,LOL battle of the sexes prevails in animals too. once she is back in the house and the diaper goes on again, she starts in where she left off, after cleaning herself of course.(hoping to get lucky). she has gotten out of her diaper a few times, i can only pray that the deed was not completed in my slumber hours. cher's song "gypsies, tramps, and thieves" fits my gypsy to a T. she has exhausted me too, i will seek her out, when i don't see her for a few minutes, to make sure no hanky panky is going on under my roof, that i am not involved in.!! this is nerve wracking at its best. some one will be making a trip to the vet for the dreaded cut or snip snip very soon. i have found this very amusing thus far, hoping it will end soon. both dogs are exhausting themselves without success, it kinda seems cruel to me in many ways. i will not add to the shelters out there for unwanted pets . she is here with me now sitting in my chair and i am discussing with her, the birds and the bees, but her actions prove to me that shes beyond that point,LOL so now she has jumped down to tease dawson again. i feel sorry for the poor boy. she is stylin though with her blue jeans diaper on with her tail protruding from the hole. running around trying to get dawson to chase her. well they both have disappeared to an area of seclusion, out of my eyesight, so i must go seeking them again. there will be no sequel to this movie. one is enough thankyou.
  14. kanderson

    my vacation

    By kanderson,

    hello strokenet people. i am just blogging to share my excitement. i am finally going to see my grandson jake. next monday my youngest son and i are flying To my home town of forth worth texas, for some RnR, ha, you say with a grandson rest and relaxation, i don't think so. but that's where mom n dad come in, its their turn, lol. i just want to hold,kiss and hug him to death. and i found out mom is pregnant again. jake is 7months old this month. OMG they have no idea what they r in for. she is due in october. i keep telling myself, kim, let them be the parents and handle things themselves! ok i know but moms always have their 2cents worth of comments.i guess she wants to do it again while she can, with her high risk status. ok so be it. i will enjoy jake while i can. we are only going for 5days because my son has to be back to work. that's fine with me, at least i'm going. i was hoping to try and see my dad too in oklahoma but that's an 8hr trip one way, so i will plan another trip to see him. hes been in the hospital again due to dizziness and hes 84. so i need to spend some time with him since his health has been up n down the last 2 years. my sister and her family lives right outside of dallas so we will have a family get together. they havent seen jake yet either. i feel so much better having someone with me when i fly to help get me thru all of the stuff you have to do now to be able to fly. i am just so excited and can't wait. i hope to get some pictures finally put in the gallery when i get back. anyway guys bon voyage, till i return. have a great week. i'm taking my puter so i can keep up with the site and chat with my friends.
  15. kanderson

    i'm back

    By kanderson,

    yes i know i am long overdue for my next entry. i returned on june 20th. in a happy and sad frame of mind. i didn't want to leave amd marc didn't want me to either, a lot tears from both of us as we said our goodbyes. the happiness came from me bringing one of his dogs back with us. they have to many dogs as it is and with a new baby coming, we thought it was best marc knew i would give her a good home, we already had one of his dogs maddy that this dog and maddy used to play together. my other son matt thought gypsy (the new one) would be a good mate for dawson. since she is part dachshund and chihuahua or chiweenie as they call them. shes only barely 10 lbs and has brought so much love and companionship to my life since we lost stimpy earlier this year. she has the exact coloring of stimpy and the cutest little face. son and i thought hubby/dad would be mad but he's fallen in love with her too. she wants to play with dawson so bad but dawson thinks she is below him in stature i guess. we will see about that when she comes into heat,LOL the trip was great we had a family get together with my family and of course they all took to jake immediately. the 1st time i saw him, tears came to my eyes, maybe this was god's reason for me to survive my stroke, to see my grandchildren for the 1st time he took to his grammy and uncle right off the bat. he just laughed and smiled at everything, hes got such a great nature. i don't think he really fussed at all while we were there. his other grandparents just adore him too. we all went out to dinner and tiffany's (mother) barb gave me a picture of me seeing jake the 1st time in a picture frame with the word miracle on it. he indeed was a miracle. i will treasure that picture forever. we also had a nice day of seeing the jfk museum in dallas. we all really enjoyed that. it brought back sad memories of my childhood but he was a truly amazing man. they had stuff in the museum we hadn't seen before on the news or at least i hadn't. more newspaper articles and pictures. it was a great day to see something i hadn't seen before. the last time i saw the area was when the book depository was still there, now it was turned into a museum. the rest of the time you could'nt get me away from jake. i fed and held him as much as i could. the child doesn't want for any kind of toy. he loves chasing the cats around in his walker. i have pictures i will get posted in the gallery as soon as i figure it out,LOL it took me several days to recoop after i got home. my b/p has been acting up lately, so i have been dealing with that too, but its coming down finally. after being put on 3 meds to help get it down on a funny note, gypsy got her name because when they 1st got her, she took things from everyone and hid them, like gypsies did in their time i guess. ok now that i've bored you enough, i promise the pictures are coming. thx for reading. kimmie
  16. kanderson

    things looking up

    By kanderson,

    hello folks, just an update on my woe's. my dad is home and doing quite well. he is walking alot more instead of sitting in his comfy chair and vegetating. all 3 of us kids have told him to move more. he needs to be more active. he lives in a assisted living complex and he is happy. i am so grateful for his recovery and thankyou all for the prayers. my son marc seems to be doing as well as to be expected. he still has back pain but he deals with it, baby jake is doing great, getting bigger and funnier by the day. he is 5months old now with 2teeth and is a good baby and the apple of everyone's eye. unfortunately we had to put my baby stimpy to sleep a few weeks back. he told us he was ready to go, so we accommodated him . my hubby took him in, as the vet was to busy that day to make a house call for us. i wanted him to die at home but it couldn't happen. i wasn't sure if hubby could do this and i offered to go with him. but he said no because he knew i would not be able to handle it either,(in other words, the drama) LOL ok i admit it i get extremely attached to my critters and it kills me when they die. i swear i'll never get another one. but you know after the pain gets easier with time, i'm wanting another pet. you'd think i have enough here now. i have 2 dogs, 3 cats and a ferret. but 1 dog n cat are my sons since he moved back in with us after his divorce , but i am grateful he and his critters are here. he's my baby and going to school and i will help him through all of this as best i can. when he finishes he'll be able to get a good job anywhere, making good money, then he can start again on his own. when i went to my neuro check-up. my blood pressure was alarming. so i was started on another bp med along with a new med for my emotions, which has help me tremendously. i have not cried in over 2 weeks. not even at something sad involving animals. the bad part was these meds were to be started as 1 a day working up to 4 for and 6 for the other. so you can imagine my frustration in trying to refill my med container each week but my son helped me so i didnt overdose my self. he said these meds have worked well in stroke patients from clinical trials and research they have done. i know they worked for me. i love my neuro to death, he always takes care of me and addresses my concerns on each visit. he is the head of the stroke clinic here in phoenix and travels to give speeches and lectures on stroke to other drs. i trust him completely. had i seen him 1st after my stroke, i would have been better off, but i have him now and thats what matters. so my cloud is lifting for awhile anyway. sorry this is so long, i never know when to shut-up i guess. i hope everyone's week is a great one, full of good things. thanks for reading my ramblings. hugs n love to all, kimmie
  17. kanderson

    black cloud again

    By kanderson,

    hello everyone, its been awhile since i blogged. it seems more bad things seem to find their way to me, since my last blog, i have been worried about my dad's health. hes had a total knee replacement, which he came through just fine. then pneumonia because of the stupid nursing home and dr he had didn't watch him close enough. hes been in the hospital now for over a month, hopefully to go home soon. my brother thank god has been taking care of things for him. while hes been working, laid off and now employed again thank goodness with a good company he started out with but he will need to be in houston alot, not so close to dad now. dad needs to be able to take care of himself when he goes home. my sister is 8hours away from him which is better than i am. my oldest son was injured in a head on collision, coming home from work 1 night, hit by an elderly man after having a seizure with a car full of people. luckily baby jake and girlfriend were at home and not with my son. my son received a bad concussion, 2 bad disks in his back, his bottom teeth went through his lip, steering wheel was bent in two from the impact and my son hitting it. his stereo went through his back window, he went to hosp and they sent him home to recover saying he could return to work on monday. the accident happened on friday the 13th. i told my son no way back to work so soon. he works with wood working machines building cabinets. he's been dizzy since the accident and has headaches, so he took a few days off, hes a supervisor anyway. hes had to go back way to soon because they need money coming in, his gf only works 20 hrs a week to keep the insurance going, plus she needs to care for jake too. i am worried about him now we are having financial problems ourselves, my hubby owns his own business and the work just aint coming in these days. economy sucks for everyone i know. my devoted and old aged dog is sick and at the vets and may not make it. hes 14 years old now but is my buddy and i need him here with me , he's my therapy dog. i am mad,sad, and depressed all at once, plus i have an abscessed tooth and my dentist is out of town until tuesday. the pain is driving me bonkers. one more thing will send me over the edge i think. at least matt is doing well with school, i am so happy for that. i just want my life to be trouble free for awhile. yes i am blessed my dad is better and marc is lucky to be alive. now i think i am really constipated GREAT,LOL i just need a stick of dynamite to blow all the bad things away from me, and to help my constipation. i want my sanity back and trouble free bowels. i have been praying my heart out. life sucks at times, we all have had our share of troubles, but i have this stupid black cloud over me and my family, i hate it. when will it go sway? so please pray for me and my dog stimpy. we need the help. thanks for reading my cheerful blog,LOL hugs to all, kimmie
  18. kanderson

    update on baby jake

    By kanderson,

    hello fellow bloggers, sorry i have been slow with my update on little jake. yes my grandson, jacob edmund anderson was born on 11-10-08, coming in at 8.5lbs and 21 inches long. he developed pneumonia not long after his birth, then placed in NICU for a week or two. he was pumped full of fluids, antibiotics and oxygen and pain meds to keep him quiet and comfortable. momma and daddy were able to see him certain times of the day, contact was kept to a minimum to keep him quiet, but he got to know his mommas voice very quickly. mom got to go home 1st, but she hated it and was at the hospital everyday until he was able to go home right before thanksgiving. the hospital was not close to their home, so daddy was trying to work and see jake as much as he could. it was a long and worrisome few weeks. but jake is home now up to 10.5 lbs and 22inches long and doing great. he is adjusting to formulas now he was having issues with mom's milk, colicky type problems, so mom changed her diet and is now doing both formula and breast milk. jake is doing better, his dr put him on some meds but he does better without the meds, so they were stopped. as most new moms do, she is alittle critical of daddy's babysitting techniques, but hey, all daddys have to learn too. i was hoping to get to see him for christmas. but not making it for christmas day but maybe afterwards. my son matt n i will probably try to drive out, while grandpa stays here to man the critters. i might be able to see my dad and brother too, my brother offered to come down and get us and take us up to see my dad. i worry in traveling in bad weather, my son has not driven in snowy or icy weather very much. so i am trying to coordinate all of this and get back there. my dad just went through knee replacement surgery, so ive been worrying about him too. i have my christmas shopping done, so thats a relief. so now i can concentrate on my trip. and my volunteer duties here at strokenet. i want to wish everyone a very merry christmas with your family and friends. a healthy, happy and prosperous new year. be fine in 2009. be safe and well my friends.
     
    love n hugs,
    kimmie
     
  19. kanderson

    my life lately

    By kanderson,

    hello everyone, many moons have passed since my last entry. i just forget alot of the time, i wonder why,LOL. i will be a granny in about a week now, i cannot wait, i have waited a long time for this baby to be part of my life. my sister has 3 already, so i have been jealous of her, since her first one came. i had the 1st grandchild for my parents at a very early age. now she had the 1st great grand baby for our family. which is fine. we both love babies. and her babies are precious to me as well, she keeps me updated with pictures, since i'm not there to see them grow up. i just miss my family so much and it saddens me alot of the time. i hope to go back for the babies birth but that is not definite yet. but i will get back there if i have to walk,LOL so please wish me luck. i still keep busy with my volunteer work here at strokenet. i enjoy meeting new people here that i meet on the support line and in chat. i am so happy the elections are over. i was on the edge of my chair on election night, but my choice did not win. the people voted and he won so now i pray he does what he promised to do, i have my opinions but i will keep those to myself. the commercials and debates are over now thank goodness. so i can focus on other things. i went to a couple of stores in the past week or so and didn't use my wc. i walked throughout the stores, small ones but i did it but i was nervous, always that fear of falling. my affected leg acts up at times. i hope its gets better the more i keep using it. drop foot doesn't help either. i was extremely tired when i got home, i know this is all stroke related and i have to keep forging on. our weather has finally cooled off now, colder at nite but still alittle to warm during the days, this is our arizona winter. the snow is falling up north and the holidays are coming again. i will keep you posted on the baby news. you can imagine what granny has been spending her money on lately!!!. i wish everyone happiness and good health in their lives.
  20. kanderson

    just an update

    By kanderson,

    hi everyone, i know its been awhile since i blogged, but time gets away from me more it seems these days. i have my days fairly busy it seems with my volunteer work, answering emails and chatting with my friends. now the Olympics are on. and i find myself glued to the tv. i am so proud of our athletes and how well they are doing. they work so hard and give up so much to get to where they are. i find myself comparing survivors to the athletes. in how hard we have to work to get where we are in our recoveries. its amazing to me that we are working so hard to recover from an injury to our brains, that we didnt ask for. the athletes are working hard on something they love to do and have been doing for years. my point i guess is there is hard work in everything we do in life. the rewards are just different. sorry i got to rambling here. my son matt is moving on with his life. they had they're meeting and agreed on the terms of the divorce meaning each gets what they want. he has signed the papers now she will have to. matt starts back to school in a few weeks and has starting playing his drums again, OMG, my nerves. but thats ok it keeps his mind busy and he loves doing it. so i wont complain. hes been working more too. hes lonely and my heart breaks for him. time will help i'm sure. marc my oldest is doing well and just getting ready for the baby. tiffany is getting big now. he is going to be a big baby and she gets to have it the easy way,LOL good for her she just sent me some new sonograms pictures of the baby, its fun to watch him grow this way by sonogram pictures. my son wants me there when the baby comes. so maybe matt and i can go to texas at that time. i can't wait. i also want to get back and see my dad and other family members. my brother is having to relocate again to tulsa ok. he will be closer to my dad then, so that sounds like a reason for another road trip.WOOHOO well see how things work out. keep your fingers crossed for me. i need a vacation, i need to go somewhere.LOL
    my niece is on her own in illinois and my nephew justed started college at purdue. they have an empty nest now. so moving wont be to a big problem. he works for a great company that will fly the kids out to them 3-4 a year. we lived in tulsa growing up as kids. he works for a natural gas pipeline company for 27 years now. his wife is tired of moving but she will be closer to her family too now. shes used to moving in the past 10 years. thats about all my news. sorry this is so long. i wish all who reads this, better days ahead in their lives, peace love and hugs to all.
     
  21. kanderson

    just an update

    By kanderson,

    well life does go on, painfully at times. my son got served with divorce papers, he kinda expected that due to the fact that tonya was cheating on him with a father of one of her students, she lost her summer teaching job because the wife of this other man went up to the school and told them what was going on. hooray for her. she is going to lose her career if she doesn't watch out, but thats not our problem anymore. i am just having a hard time understanding this sweet girl, or i thought she was anyway. she is drinking so much now she is definitely an alcoholic, a home wrecker and many other things, we have found out. i guess it just goes to show, you never really know what lies beneath huh. matt is coping better now, she put an order of protection out against matt, pleezzee. that really hurt his feelings but i told him its probably for the best right now, to just stay away from her and it works both ways, she too has to stay away from him. thank god. he got a job now, thats a good thing after we went to see a lawyer, divorce aint cheap, but nothing is these days. we like the atty's we met with, and i pray they do a good job for matt. i went out twice this week and really challenged my walking ability. i went shopping and totally exhausted myself in this heat. now i truly see what is involved in shopping in a store, i did not feel confident, no help around to assist you. i couldn't bend down far enough to see what i was looking for since they seem to put what you need on the bottom shelves. i really couldn't push a cart by myself and my legs got very tired, no chairs to sit in to rest. i think shopping on line is better for me right now. i get nervous when i'm out with to many people and no where to sit and rest. but needless to say i got my exercise and was tired when i went to bed. my oldest found out we are having a boy, but i already knew that,LOL when he told me the baby's heart rate. baby's is growing and is healthy, no genetic problems, she had a amniocentesis done due to her high risk status. my hubby is in vegas working for awhile this week. so matt and i just kicking back and staying where its cool. its been in the high 100's most of this week, i should have stayed where it was cool and not gone out, it just wiped me out to much. i felt like crap when i got home, til i cooled off and rested for a bit. but i did try. yahoo for me,LOL. i think i need a cooler climate like pa. so watch out donna i might come for a visit soon. LOL i hope all dads have a great and blessed fathers day with their families. happy fathers dad to all of you out there in strokenet land. you deserve a bit of pampering for 1 day at least.
  22. kanderson
    well folks, another appearance of the black cloud over my family. i have put off blogging about this for awhile now. but i have good news and bad news. good news is my oldest son marc that was suppose to be moving back here, just found out he is going to be a DADDY, come november, so i will be a grandmother, woohoo. his girlfriend and marc had been trying for along time the doctor told her her tubes were completely blocked and probably would never get pregnant. just shows you doctors aren't always right. she is a high risk pregnancy due to her age, and her uterine fibroids. the problem is the timing is bad. he was moving back here because they just don't get along very well. this isn't the perfect situation to bring a child into. so i guess he is going to come for a visit instead of moving here. i can live with that. i just want him to be happy, maybe the baby will help them to work out their differences. so i am asking for prayers to help them with the pregnancy and their lives. now the bad news.
    my other son matt, that just got married a year ago. his wife tonya has started drinking heavily and told matt to move out she didn't love him anymore. needless to say, matt and us are heartbroken. matt is beside himself and she pulled this on him a week before his semester ended. but somehow he finished it. not sure how his grades will be though. he moved back in with us, trying to find work now to occupy his time. i am powerless to help him other than just be there for him. this is breaking my heart to see him like this. i am so angry at tonya right now, i want to hire guido, to pay her a visit, LOL. they have been together 8years, married for 1. they are alot of issues on her family's side, i think are playing a role in this breakup. plus other things i won't get into now. matt is finding out that his friends are not wanting to get involved nor his in-laws that were his 2nd parents. i have tried to explain to him why friends do this after a crisis hits, just like after my stroke so called friends just disappear. her parents are another story, they need to be there for her, but i think thats part of the problem. i am no marriage counselor but i can offer my advice as a mother. as hard as this is, he will get through it. so i ask for prayers for him also. i want my kids happy and to have a good life, my stroke has put an additional strain on them, but they both have been there for me. i guess you never stop being a mother after the kids are grown,huh. i have always been a worry wart. i don't need anymore stress in my life, since this damn stroke. what is god trying to tell me. i know it takes 2 to make a marriage work. please pray for me too, i don't need another stroke,nor do i want one!!! just another day in my life post stroke.
  23. kanderson

    bittersweet day

    By kanderson,

    today is a sad day for me but a happy one for my dad. he has decided to move from our family farm, 7miles out in the country into an independent living facility in town, where alot of his farming buddies are at and other lifelong friends. he was born and lived most of his life there. he is 82 and in good health. he has been alone since my mom died 3years ago. this is a good thing for him, i know that and am happy for him. all of us kids agree this is best for him. he didn't want to be in that house when mom's death anniversary comes up on 4-10. mother's presence is all over that house if you know what i mean. its just that i am sad at the same time. because that was mom n dads, and many generations of family's home, for all of us to come together as family on holidays or a visit. it just won't be the same anymore. i tear up just writing this. my son is driving up there tomorrow to pick up some pieces of furniture for me that dad wanted me to go ahead and get now. marc will just bring them out to me when he moves back to phx this month. my sister is going up to the farm next weekend to pick up daddy for a 4wk visit with them in tx and she will get alot of the stuff she wanted. mom had beautiful antique dishes from our families, cups, saucers and beautiful red glass stuff. the other stuff will go into storage i guess until my brother can get the rest of the stuff out to me. i am angry because i cannot be there to help because of this stupid stroke. i talked to daddy today and he is resting in his recliner watching his satelite tv, so he is happy and comfy. i cant ask for more. so many changes have happened since my stroke and i wasn't prepared for any of them. i want my dad to be happy for the time he has left and if this is it so be it. i am just sad that things are changing away from my comfort zone.
  24. kanderson

    i am adjusting

    By kanderson,

    well, i am adjusting to not having help any longer. i have decided to hold off looking for anyone for now. my hubby's business has been real slow, so money is tight right now. so the money i was paying out for the helper, i can now save to help out more with the monthly home expenses to ease hubby's worries for now. i am now doing more for myself, still need some help with a few things. i can do dishes, laundry and some house cleanng, without help. cook alittle, all with critters underfoot. my son will be here soon, any big jobs can wait for now. so i am getting by ok for now. i just hope the business picks up more. matt and tonya just celebrated their 1st anniversary, already. and school is going well for matt. tonya has her daily struggles with the kids at school. she called me yesterday about an incident with 7 of her girls , that they apparently beat up a boy pretty badly, on the bus because he was saying bad things to them, racial comments, etc. i had to applaud the girls for standing up for themselves, lol. but tonya was really upset cause all the kids were from her class. the kids were suspended, ahh, the joys of being a teacher. i'm sure it will all be ok in time. she worries alot and we all know kids will be kids. i found the whole thing humerous myself. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, i think is how its said, lol i hope everyone has a happy easter here at strokenet. gotta run and clean up the kitchen. til next blog, be safe and well everyone.
  25. kanderson
    well, the past few weeks, have been full of disappointments, i had my CT ANGIOGRAM of my head and neck and got my results, which i guess are ok, would have liked it being better. my main cerebral artery in my brain is open alittle more but very narrow, it was closed at the time of my stroke. so i guess that is better. but i was diagnosed with FMD(fibro muscular dysplasia) at the time of my stroke. drs recommendations was to continue my present therapy of blood thinners and a reduction in smoking. ok ok ok i know i need to quit, but i do enjoy it. i did quit once and will do it again. also the carotid arteries are open but placque is in my rt one, but its ok and they aren't narrowed. i had a appt with a kidney specialist that took weeks to get to hopefully find out why i have had 2 kidney stone attacks in less than a year. we were there and waited 1 1/2 hrs to see him, but due to an emergency he was running way late, i couldn't wait due to having to pick up my new glasses before they closed. this was all in scottsdale, a suburb of phx, about 30 minutes away from my home. my neuro referred me to a urologist he trusted, lol. so i rescheduled for the 26th of march, soonest he had. this last issue is one that really bothers me. the lady that has been helping me for over a year, decided her problems were more important than my needs, i guess. she comes 3x a week MWF. monday we had planned to go early, have lunch, then to appt. she never called or showed up. my hubby had to take off work to take me, he was none to happy. she apparently had something she had o do for her son, who is 28 and just out of prison. i still have not heard from her as i'm writing this. this is not the 1st time she has done this either. she is the girlfriend of a friend of ours and has done this type of work before. i was so happy when i found her, to help relieve my hubby of some of the things he has to do for me. she has alot of drama in her life it seems and she is not as reliable as i thought. my hubby told her we will have to rethink this working for us anymore. maybe that pi____ her off. i' m sorry but you don't leave a handicapped person stranded like that, ever. we were able to talk about alot of things together. shes not the person i thought she was. oh well such is life, i've always said not to hire friends or family for this reason, i should have listened to myself. DUH, LOL.