kanderson

i am in fort worth, tarrant county

i am now back in my home town of fort worth, the wedgewood area, the same area i grew up in.

casen, i too am sorry to hear about another stroke. but as others have said, don't lose hope and get back up and start recovery once again. your hubby is there to support you all the way. i hope your medical team can stop any other strokes from happening. its good you were able to come home where you feel most comfortable. work hard as you already know how to do. i have you in my thoughts and prayers for a successful recovery. let us know how you are doing. i wish you and your family the happiest of holidays.

i am now in irving, just outside of dallas. my stroke was 1-02 affecting my left side, i don't drive but i can get transportation for a get together.

julie, this is a tough situation for both of you. a long distance romance alone takes alot of work then with a stroke on top of it. he probably has alot of emotions going through his mind, roller coaster type thing. he needs constant encouragement and more recovery to feel better about himself, then maybe his attitude might change for the better. so many relationships break apart from a stroke, it takes special people to make it work. maybe he just needs more time. what if he doesn't recover as much as you want him to, he will be more dependent on you, depending on his deficits. have you both considered that point. no one wants to be a burden on their loved ones. you both need to discuss many points on this issue. he could be overwhelmed with all thats going on right now, with recovery and a relationship. see what happens after your visit him. he might need some drugs to help him cope with depression, anxiety and motivation. his stroke is barely 6 months old and the brain takes that long for the swelling to go down after a stroke. what if he can't return to work? talk about these things in detail so you both know what lies ahead. i wish you both the best in working this out so you both can be happy. acceptance of his stroke is a hard step to get to for some people,so they can move on with their new different life. good luck and keep us updated as you can.

linda, we have discussed this fear alot on this board, like fred said its mostly with the newbies. i really never thought much about having another stroke, i understood what caused my stroke in the 1st place, so i trusted my drs with the care and medications they were giving me to cut down the risks. i had alot of precursors that contributed to my stroke, smoked, high blood pressure, stress galore, and being overweight, high cholesterol. i was a stroke waiting to happen, then boom it hit. i had a ischemic/clot stroke. i was diagnosed at the time with FMD, )fibromuscular dysplasia which means the lining of my arteries collapse, thus causing a blockage if a clot forms or plaque breaks off. my drs have me on aspirin and plavix, they help me to not stress on having another stroke. as others have said, that fear will pass with time. my biggest fear now is falling and always has been. i have fallen several times due to my deficits and brain damage, loosing my balance. hopefully that fear will go away. i hate it. i don't want to breaks bones again, it sets me back in my recovery even 9 years out. my anxiety can hit the roof sometimes but meds help me there as well. as suggested talk to your dr about your fear. you have been given some good suggestions. stay calm and try not to worry so much.

HI AND I AM SO GLAD MOM WASN'T HURT IN THE ACCIDENT. I HAVE 0 TOLERANCE FOR DRUNK DRIVERS. I HOPE HE IS PUNISHED ACCORDINGLY. ITS OK TO VENT WE ALL NEED TO DO THAT FROM TIME TO TIME AND WE ARE HERE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND. DEALING WITH A STROKE FROM ANY PERSPECTIVE IS HARD. YOU AND YOUR MOTHER ARE TO BE BLESSED FOR ALL YOU DO TO HELP YOUR DAD. CAREGIVERS ARE OUR ANGELS HERE ON EARTH. GETTING YOU FEELINGS OUT WILL HELP YOU TO COPE. IT DOES GET BETTER IN TIME. I STILL HAVE MY DAYS OF TEARS, ITS BEEN 7YEARS NOW. I GET FRUSTRATED MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I START TO CRY BUT IT PASSES QUICKLY. I HAVE ACCEPTED MY STROKE AND NOW MORE FORWARD AS BEST I CAN. WHICH YOU WILL TOO IN TIME. ITS ALWAYS HARD TO SEE OUR PARENTS GET ILL. THE ANGER WILL FADE AWAY IN TIME TOO. I KNOW EVERYTHING TAKES TIME, WHEN THE STROKE HAPPENED IN SECONDS, DOESN'T SEEM FAIR HUH. YOUR DAD IS STILL HERE FOR A REASON, SO FOCUS ON THAT MORE TO END YOUR SADNESS. REMEMBER DAD IS STILL DAD JUST IN A DIFFERENT WAY NOW. I WISH YOU HAPPIER DAYS AHEAD AND WE ARE HERE ANYTIME YOU NEED US. (((((HUGS )))) TO YOU AND MOM WELCOME TO THE SITE TOO. YOU FOUND A GREAT PLACE TO COME TO.

hi mary, welcome to our great place. im so glad you decided to ask for help. i too am a emotional person. but i did get help from my doctor with meds that helped me alot. its normal to mourn what we have lost but we can have a good life in spite of a stroke. the acceptance does take time but once there, it all becomes easier and life is better, i assure you as others have said. we are here for you on the good and bad days you will have, so please let us help you, we are not experts but we do understand. try to join one of our chats, it helps to talk to others and to laugh as much as you can. i hope to see you more around the site. hang in there. my stroke was 7years ago and i still have my weepy days, just not as much now. lots of ((((((((((((((hugs

))))))))))))))))) coming your way.

hi jean and welcome to the site. what you are experiencing is normal after a stroke, the fear, emotions all over the place and depression. you should speak to your dr about meds for the depression. there are many of them out there now, just need to find the right one for you and the proper dosage. fear of another stroke is also normal and scary but hopefully they found the reason you had a stroke and have you under preventative care to stop another one from happening. emotional liability, like crying, laughing, etc at inappropriate times, hopefully your dr can help with that too. i had my stroke 7 yrs ago from a clot leaving me with left sided paralysis. i too can cry at the drop of a hat, but it has gotten better with time and my meds. you may even need to see a psychologist that deals with brain injuries. please try not to worry about another stroke that will cause stress on you that you don't need. don't worry about something you dont know will happen. live each day the best you can and enjoy life you were given a second chance and now you are a survivor. you can still have a good life after a stroke, just maybe in a different way now. no one else trulyunderstands how we feel unless they have walked in our shoes. it takes the swelling at least 6months to go down after a stroke in the brain. your family should learn about stroke themselves to help them understand. in the classic postings forum, there is "a letter from your brain" you should read and print out for your family to read. our lives have been changed forever, recovery takes time and patience and repetition to retrain the brain. you can vent to us anytime you need to. we do understand here. good luck with the dog, i think thats a great idea for you. the love and unconditional companionship will be good for you. keep us updated on how you are doing. i wish you better days ahead.

hi silly bunnie. please don't feel sad and all alone. we don't want you unhappy. i do understand your feelings though, i think we all felt that way after our strokes. thats why our CEO steve mallory developed this site for caregivers and survivors to meet and socialize and have fun. so jump on the bandwagon and join us in a chat. share your feelings and thoughts with us, we all do care. it does get better with time. the others are right as well. i am glad you found us, sorry it had to be because of the stroke monster though. i hope to get to know you better. starting a blog might be fun for you too.

hi susan and thankyou for the interesting link. i too am alone most of the time. i talk to my critters too, but we need more as humans. this site looks like it has some good info. thxs for sharing it with us.

hi diana, i think alot of us have the same fears after having a stroke, i know i did for awhile after mine. but doing other things to keep your busy is what i did also. we never know what lies ahead for us. so please try not to worry about something we can't change. maybe your doctor could give you anti-anxiety meds to help you with this. i know another pill, huh,LOL but sometimes we need them. i think this fear will pass with time. i know it did for me. as long as you are doing what your dr wants you to, to prevent another stroke. i wouldn't worry about it, that worry is probably causing your stress headaches. just relax and enjoy your new life with hubby when hes there. all will be OK. i send you (((((((hugs)))))) and you are in my daily prayers

allan, you have helped so many here, just knowing you is truly an a blessing in my life. you teach us whatever life throws at us. we must accept and move on, the best way we can. you have taught your grandsons life's valuable lessons. i respect and admire you for the person you are. donna did a great thing in asking you to volunteer here with us. you give more than you receive. i pray you are with us for along time yet to come. keep smiling allan, knowing you are loved by so many of us. stay safe and well my friend.

hi waterbabe and welcome to this great site. a stroke can cause our emotions to go wacky at times. i was put on a antidepressant immediately after my stroke and have been on several different ones til i found the right one. i can cry at the drop of a hat but not as bad as i used to do. i get frustrated and angry at times too but it passes. i realize every day how far i have come and also that there are many worse off than i am. i am able to walk with a brace and cane not very gracefully, but i do walk. some days are better than others, i am just happy i am able to wake up to another day at all. i'm sure others will reply to your post too. my advice is do not let things get to you and remember you survived for a reason. live each day the best you can. don't sweat the small stuff. enjoy the life you have now. things do get better with time. i hope things settle down for you very soon. we are who we are now, we can always get better. i'm happy you were able to recover from your deficits. god is helping you along your recovery journey. hang in there. good luck.

phil, i am surprised at your post. we should be thankful that we were given a second chance in the 1st place. i believe god has our lives mapped out for us from when we are born. so the strokes we suffered were fate. if we did or didn't take care of ourselves,prior to the stroke that was our choice. millions of people appear normal to others but they have their own battles they are fighting i'm sure. remember everything happens for a reason. as allan stated, we need to accept it and move on with our new lives. we waste to much time, wondering why me? yes i have thought that myself right after my stroke, who doesn't i think. but as mc stated there are so many out there worse off than we are. i remind myself of that daily. i really wouldn't want anyone else to go through what we have had to. i hope your wife will listen to you soon. she may be headed down the same path as you, which would be a terrible thing to happen. we have to live for today now and pray that tomorrow will be a even better day. don't get yourself depressed about the other people you see appearing normal to you. forget them and be happy for yourself, you are a survivor.

gramma, what the others have said is true. its easy to be hard on ourselves when things go wrong and its human nature to react that way. you are in no way stupid. please do not think that way either. we need to lift our spirits up on the bad days and as bonnie said. we have had a serious injury to our brains, that does not heal itself over night. please try to be patient with yourself and realize that you are trying to heal and get better. things will be better in time. we have to love ourselves for who we are now and let our former selves be a memory. with thanksgiving coming up, lets be thankful for what we are able to do now. you are never alone when you are here with us. i hope you feel better in the days ahead.

donna, i agree, those were excellent tips for the holidays. last year was the 1st since my stroke that i was able to decorate for xmas with help from a friend. it was more festive and enjoyable for me anyway to have my house like i wanted it. this year, i'm not sure what i will be doing for the holidays, hopefully spending it with my new grandson in texas. i will not have the stress of decorating, shopping is done either online or out in stores, i think i will take ann's advice about shopping. i get stressed in crowds. the point is to enjoy the holidays, in a way comfortable to you.

jan, great post and so very true. i am the worst when it comes to beating myself up at times. i think i am the same person inside but others in my life think otherwise i guess. i have overcome so many things in my life. my stroke is just another obstacle to get over. but sometimes climbing over them seems tougher each time! how do we keep going when you are so tired? thankyou for your post, it made me step back and look again at myself.

pal that is great that hubby is willing to go for the help he needs that is a big start on his part. i pray all goes well with his visit and the dr can help him which will help you too. bless you for being his caregiver, it is a hard job. i hope things settle down for you both real soon. good luck.

katrina, that was a good post. i think we all feel both ways at times in our recoveries from a stroke. you accomplished a big thing with the medication top. my thoughts are NEVER NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. stroke recovery is repetition. doing things over and over, to build new pathways in the brain. believe you can do anything and work hard at it to achieve it. my leg has gotten stronger over the years but my hand/arm are taking their sweet time. recovery from a stroke can be for the rest of our lives. we have to be patient,work hard and prayer doesn't hurt either. look how far you have come already. look at a baby and how they learn as their little brains develop, everyday they can do something new, like walking. they fall down alot but get back up and try again til they get it right. using their hands to grasp things, etc . we are alot like them in relearning things. they never give up until the master it. prove the doctors wrong katrina. all of us here want you to achieve great things.

hi pal, you have received alot of good info from the others. a stroke changes us and we don't like it one bit. we yearn for our old self and what we were capable of doing for our families and ourselves. now that changed in a flash of a lightening bolt.. we must accept the new us and that takes time and patience and understanding. meds do help but we have to find the right 1 for us. i had to try 3 before i found the right one. or dosages need to be changed. seeing a psychologist is a great start. we always lash out at the ones we love not meaning to. our brains and emotions are wacky to say the least until we get back on track. its wonderful your hubby has the drive and ambition to return to work to help keep it going. don't fault him to much. hundreds of us were unable to return to work due to cognitive issues. patience is hard for the caregiver and survivor to learn after a stroke. hang in there. it does get better i wish peace and harmony for you both in the days ahead. keep us updated on how things are going for you both. maybe it would help if you both took some time off from work to do something fun together. just a thought.

this is a terrible situation, you should be commended for what you are doing. that family needs a wakeup call. i would contact the elder abuse line and see what your options are. this woman has been dumped on you it appears. good luck

hi there and welcome to the site. i too am sorry to hear of all you are trying to deal with right now. i think you are overwhelmed and are gonna burn out soon. caregiving is not an easy job. you need help. its terrible her family won't help you out. isn't she their responsibility. out of the kindness of your heart you were helping out your mother in law care for this lady if i understand your post correctly. i would look into donna's suggestion, or the church maybe for help. i would tell her family they have to come up with a solution. you have a life too. will her neighbors help out maybe. otherwise a nursing home might be the only choice. this is a terrible situation and her family is not stepping up to the plate. of coarse people are busy with work and their own lives. but come on. they could work out something. i hope you find a solution soon. maybe her doctor has some ideas, or a hospital social worker could help you. let us know what you find out. good luck and god bless you for all you are doing.

stu, my deficits are to obvious. if anyone asks me, i tell them i had a stroke. then the response i get is "you are to young to have had a stroke". then i have to educate them about strokes. with my cane, the way i walk, my arm hanging limp, i don't get to many questions though.

kathy, i am the same way. we do have to push ourselves alittle more to get out post stroke i think. i look forward to any outing i get to do but i also fear it, like donna. my comfort zone is at home and unless someone is with me that knows the help i need, its alittle scary. but as anne said, maybe hubby wants to do more things with you. the museum sounds like alot of fun and interesting. i say go for it, knowing you can rest up after its over if you need too. use your wc if you need to to help you enjoy the outing more. that would be alot of walking around.

have some fun and let us know how it goes if you decide to do it. start out slow if you need to, build up to it.