rdittman

I have thought about this too, and I also had a PFO (which is what Lenny seems to have had) that was corrected because they thought that was the main reason for it. Regardless, I know so much more about prevention than I did before my stroke, and feel fairly confident with my health regimen and the doc's checking me out now and again, that I am determined to not worry about it. That will only raise my BP, and as you know, that is not good for stroke prevention.

Thank you everybody for your kind comments. Again, my story is to never give up hope. Here I am typing with both hands, something I couldn't do 4 months ago, and typing roughly about as fast as I did before the stroke. Never, ever give up hope that recovery can come. I know that God healed me, and am confident that He can do the same with anybody else, whether it be stroke related or other ailments or disabilities. Yes, I worked hard in the past 3+ years to gain movement, keeping my affected limbs as limber as I possibly could, so there is something to say of perseverance too. Keep at your exercises and also keep the faith. Blessings to you all.

It has been very long since I entered a blog, so now is the time. After 3+ years in a wheelchair or using a walker, I am now on my feet and operating fairly normally, if that is what you call it. My movement started coming back about 4 months ago, and though it was surprising, I feel it was truly from God. What a blessing. I still have a little bit of tendinitis from lack of use over the past several years, my CPS still flares up, a little spasticity in my affected hand and I have had a couple of weird seizures or TIA's since this movement has come back, but I'll really take that over the lack of movement. The most recent CT scans show no evidence of the previous stroke or anything abnormal. I am now able to walk for many miles, though running is out of the question at the moment. I don't think I want to run anyway. Hard on my already damaged knees. I go swimming at my complex pool. I've tried bowling too, though I wound up spraining my hand as the result of trying. The hand is almost OK now. Since I was right handed, and that was my affected side, I am able to write and do things with that hand again. With the new movement, I am able to get in a good exercise routine, along with getting physical therapy, and have been steadily losing weight. I am eating better as well, as a choice to get healthier. I have dropped almost 40 pounds in the past year, and 15 since I got my movement back. I really feel so much better with the extra weight off. I also have a new lady friend, and she has been a great coach and cheerleader, keeping me on track, as I do with her and her weight loss and exercise routine. To all my friends at StrokeNet, I just want to say to never give up. You never know if any deficits you have may be reversed at any time. Sometimes surprising things do happen. God bless you all, Bob

This last month has been a period of ups and downs. In general, I've been OK, but there seems to be a bit of lethargy creeping into my life. I'm tiring easier again, like right after my stroke. I have my days when I feel great though, and they are good days! Maybe my energy level will get better as summer approaches. I always like sunshine and warmer weather, as most of us do. I noticed last winter I went through the blahs too, so I'm pinning my hope on warmer weather. I'm still keeping busy. I helped out at church last week with a group of homeless people we invite in for a meal and a warm nights sleep in the auditorium. We also feed them breakfast. I was talking with several of the homeless. Some just want to be left alone, and some do not. Still, I made an effort to talk with some of the loners. It is obvious to me that some want to be out of their situation, and others don't really care. I talked to one young man. He was hoping to get into a group home in about a month and get some employment as a mechanic. It reminded me that some are really wanting out of their situation and contribute to society. Most of these people have abused their bodies with drugs and alcohol, though they must be clean and sober when we invite them in. It was a good experience. Knowing that a single wrong turn in life could put any one of us in their situation. They are people, and need to know that their life has value. Our goal is to help them along the way to independence and get them off the streets. I just finished audio files for Steve for a Powerpoint presentation he put together for Strokenet. It is about 20 minutes long and I'm glad he asked me to do it. I'm hoping he will make it available here for all of us to see, but it is really aimed at stroke survivors and caregivers finding supplemental and/or alternative means for support. I assume it will be aimed at hospitals and the medical profession, and to local support groups as well. All in all, it seems a very good overview of what this organization is about and the benefits of online stroke support. I'm still running the radio station. I put some effort over the winter to beef up the equipment here without going overboard. Money is tight you know. I'm happy with the changes. Everything is running smoother and I have better control of the music rotations and programming. Of course some of the upgrade was to help my voice talent business as well. The new equipment will help me sound better and hopefully draw more clients. I do like the idea that if I have a bad day, I can still blow off work and attend to it when I feel better. I want to do something by keeping busy, and working from home like this gives me a flexibility I couldn't if I had to go out into the workforce. If I had too many sick days, I'm sure I wouldn't be around long. I would like to busier with the business than I am though. Everything takes time, and I certainly only work when I'm feeling well enough to do so. I guess I should be content. Patience, Bob; patience! The weather here is getting warmer, but it is teasing me. 76 degrees one day and 55 the next. It might sprinkle here later today, but Sunday looks nice; in the upper 60's and sunny. We might get a little more rain next week too. I'm wanting those 70's back. I know that when they come in earnest, they won't be here that long. It will then be 80's, then 90's and a few 100's most of the summer. Still, I like it warmer than colder. I don't think I could live in the snow belt again.

Wow, it has been a long time since I've blogged. Well, time flies when you're having fun! I've been busy with my radio station and my voice talent business. I've been adding new equipment as money allows and upgrading the software. The station is much more stable now, and for that I am very happy. I'm still trying to build clientele for the voice talent business. This is going to take some time, as all new businesses do. I am going to persevere though. When I'm feeling poorly, I can always put it on the back burner. This in contrast to an outside job, where I would not be my own boss, and would need to report to work regardless. I have too many bad days and I can't chance that, at least for the time being. I had a small stroke again a month back or so. It scared me a bit, but it left me with no more deficits. They weren't positive it was a stroke or TIA, but that was their best guess. CPS still get me down the most. I've had some terrible bouts with it this winter. I wish that it would go away, but I think that it is just going to be a lifelong ailment. Today isn't too bad though. Yea! I have been doing a little website building too. I re-designed both my radio and voice talent sites, and I took on a project for a Christian Music Festival. Faithfest is it's name, and it gets underway in early June in New Ulm, Minnesota. These folks at Faithfest are wonderful people, but this is just their second year, and they are learning a lot on the fly. I was happy to get their site up for them. There is still much to do on their site, but I am waiting on more information from them. In the meantime, the site is up. They have 10 artists/bands signed up, and it looks like it will be a fantastic event. I think I'll go check out the boards. I haven't spent much time on the site recently, just doing my chat host duties. I feel like I've neglected Strokenet, but I'm here today. Off and runnin', so to speak.

Well, this is the month I get my first SSDI check. Yea! It has been a long and painful process, but I am starting to breathe easier knowing I'll have some income coming in soon. I have been living on the generosity of my church and friends for several months now, and I'm feeling like I'm a bit of a burden to them. I will be eternally grateful to all that have helped me during this time. I went to the doctor a few weeks back because my blood pressure was shooting up and I got concerned. I think the stress of living like I have had to do is paying a toll on my BP. I'm on medication now to lower it, though it seems to not be working just yet. I love my primary doctor. He is a great guy and I never mind waiting at his office until he is able to see me. I can expect a simple visit to be roughly 2 hours at his office, but in my mind I never regret the time spent waiting, because he always takes the time to explain everything and readily answers questions. I just picked him randomly from my old job's insurance book when I needed to change my primary doctor after moving to Sacramento from the San Francisco Bay Area several years ago. Boy, did I get lucky. My last three visits he has not even charged me, knowing I'm without insurance and little resources to pay. I'm still able to keep the Internet radio station I operate afloat. I am very happy about that, as I came close to shutting it down several times over the past three months. I put a lot of effort into the website and the programming and hated the thought of taking it down. I've had just enough money to keep it going, and the threat now has passed with income rolling in. This hobby has kept me busy and I have been truly blessed by being able to learn new skills and putting them to use. The weather here is a bit back and forth now that fall is here. When the weather changes, my CPS kicks in and I wind up with more down days than during the summer months. We had a front push through last night and I am feeling it today, though the burning is not as bad as the last time weather rolled through. I have been unable to find any medication that gives relief, have tried many, so I learn to live with it. I have the need to take care of a couple of things before hosting chat today, so I'm wrapping this up now. As always, keep looking up!

My how time flies when you're having fun! I actually have been fighting with various state and federal agencies for some time now trying to acquire benefits that are due me. I guess if that's supposed to be fun, well then that's what's been occupying my time. I am now approved to receive SSDI benefits. It only took 10 months. I think at times they like to drag their feet to see if you give up on the process. I have prevailed though. Yea! I had to go to a couple of exams they required; a general lookover and a mental acuity exam. I guess that was what pushed it through, as I was approved in less than a month after the exams. I know I did poorly on the short term memory part of the exam. I haven't had the best memory since my stroke. I can remember things from long ago, but cant remember why I was headed to the kitchen for something while on my way there. I have learned to laugh at myself about those moments now, but at times they can still be frustrating. I have produced a few Public Service Announcements for the StrokeNetwork for radio stations. Currently they are airing on Internet radio stations only, but it is exposure for the site. The spots are positive and upbeat and do ask to visit the site and ask for financial support of the organization. It was fun putting them together. I'll probably put a couple more together in a month or so to give the stations running the PSA's a new and fresh sound then. I'm still running my own Internet station and having fun with it. I'm always looking for ways to improve it and my website, and I learn new things almost daily. This has been my most time consuming project generally, but a joyful one, unlike the persistence I've had in getting my claims for benefits approved, which wasn't that much fun. Anyway, the station has been gaining listenership and for that I'm appreciative. I need to clean the bathroom today. I take one area of my apartment one day a week and do a general cleanup. That way I don't get too overwhelmed and it makes life easier. So now I'm off to do my list of chores for the day.

Wish I could have been fishing with you. It sounded like a great trip out with lots of fish. Fishing used to be my business, and I miss it sometimes. No walleye in CA, but bass we have. Used to fish for Striped Bass in SF Bay, and bass in the local lakes. I was up on Lake Superior last year, and I am reminded how much it looked like the ocean on a windy day. A good lake to stay off of in inclement weather I am sure. Bob

I'm glad Firefox worked for you. It's a fairly nice browser. I use Opera on Strokenet. It seems to load faster than IE or Firefox. Opera and Firefox have problems with two personal websites that I have, and IE works best with them. You may think it overkill to have three browsers, but it works for me. Every browser has issues. IE7 has a lot of bugs yet. Hopefully Microsoft will get it sorted out someday. Bob

My goodness. I haven't updated my blog since the end of May! Time flies when you're having fun, so they say. I've had my share of up's and down's since my last posting. I'm still struggling with the government over SSDI. It seems the medical portion of my claim is holding things up. I went to a supposed neurological exam this week. It turns out it was really with a rehabilitation specialist who didn't seem too familar with stroke patients. I knew more of the medical terminology than he did. He will pass the information on to the state. I'm not sure what his thoughts were so I have no idea if its a favorable recommendation or not. I have a psych eval this week. I already know I'm crazy, so this should be interesting. :big_grin: I have started a new business doing voice over work for Radio, TV, Commercials and Narration. My background in radio played a big part in my decision to do so, along with the encouragement of some of my Internet Radio buddies. I have a website up and have registered with an online agency. I have a long way to go in really getting up and running, but I have to start somewhere. This will be a business of constantly promoting myself. The good thing is that I can work from home. If I'm having a bad health day, I can work at my own pace, unlike most professions where you go into work and have to be there regardless. The Internet radio station I'm operating is still up and running. I've had a load of fun with this project. The station seems to be gaining listenership, mainly during office hours when workers can tune it in at the office. I just did a total remake of the station website and it is much brighter and inviting. At least that's what I think. I did have a bit of help from a friend on the layout and design and I give him credit for it on the site. I get additional duties doing the blog recap this week and next sitting in for Asha while she is on vacation. Asha was one of the first to welcome me to the site when I first joined, and I have treasured her friendship since. I am glad to be able to cover for her and hope to do an adequate job in her absence. All in all, I am truly blessed. I have a great support group from my church and friends who care for me and watch out for my well being. Though my life is far from perfect, my support group makes life so much easier for me. This place has been a blessing as well. I'm not sure what I would do without the support of all here on StrokeNet. Keep looking up!

I used to love small town life; I don't live in one now, and in some regards I am glad, because there are many more resources in a larger populated area. On the other hand, small town life often times has a better sense of community. So each type has its own advantages. I find that when I am lonely is when I need to reach out. I need to make the move to initiate a relationship or activity. It is easy for me to lament my situation if I let myself, so I do what I need to do to reach out; to make new friends or make a phone call or whatever. I am always glad that I made the effort afterward. It may seem hard in the beginning, but it always pays off in the end. I agree that volunteer work is a great outlet. I do some here, and my church has many opportunities available where they can use help. Maybe you can find something likewise there. As for your marriage, your husband has been by your side, so my suggestion is to keep trying to make it work. There are so many instances where stroke of one partner has broken up the family unit. In your case it hasn't, and that is wonderful. I wish I could say my family stuck together after my stroke, but it didn't. That wasn't my choice, and I now realize that it is their loss and not mine. I wish you the very best. Bob

I'm glad you had a chance to meet Asha and her family. Wouldn't it be great if we could all get together someplace. The logistics would be a nightmare, I know, but what a hoot that would be. Bob

Ross, Bonnie mentioned this to me last week, and I am sorry I haven't responded here sooner, but my condolences to you as well. I have had people with my church praying for you and your family during this trying time. I always enjoyed her posts. She was quite upbeat, despite her disability; at least that's my opinion. Dianne will be missed. Bob

It's only been a gazillion years since I blogged last, but here I am today, feeling pretty good after a bowl of Chili-Chicken Soup. Very tasty, indeed. I feel I have been neglecting my duties here on StrokeNet the past month. Honestly, I have been very busy with a myriad of things, but I promised myself today that I would make a better effort to be on the boards more, sharing my vast expanse of knowledge. :big_grin: My radio station has been the most time intensive project recently. I did a major overhaul of my website and I think I am too proud of myself for the work. Being a Christian, I haven't given God enough thanks for the talent He has given me to accomplish this endeavor. Nevertheless, I do believe it looks tons better and I hope others do too. Funny. When I started getting this going months ago, I thought it would be a hobby that I could leave alone a bit once I got it running. It has been a process of toil and sweat nearly every day. Something is always demanding my attention with this station, not that I really mind. I do enjoy it, though it has its frustrations at times. The major thing right now is funds. I found a few ways to cut costs, but it is taking up a bit more revenue than I originally thought. On to other matters. My health has been up and down. I still fight CPS and that is probably the most annoying thing. Today is a good day, with just a little burning in various areas of my body. I had a four day stretch recently, when I thought I was not going to handle it. I am glad that passed for now. Not much anybody can do about it. I've tried several different medications and none work. I have paradoxical reactions to many drugs. I know; I'm weird. I haven't gone back to work yet. I'm trying to let Social Security get their act together, and either approve or disapprove my disability claim. Either way, I'll probably work some. It's time to get back into the big wide world of the working class. It's starting to get toasty here again. We had a few 90+ degree days in the past month, but it is fast approaching the norm. It will be pushing 90 much of the rest of the week. I'm sure 100 degrees is not that far off. What's nice though, is that it makes the evenings very nice after the mosquitos leave for the day. So, the late evenings are very pleasant to be outside. Well, I'm off to get a cup of joe and on to the message boards.

It is great to see your wonderful attitude. I know the feeling. It takes time for the emotional and mental side to heal as well. I'm one year now, post stroke, and my life attitude has changed so much since my insult occured-for the better of course. Tell your husband that he has a great name. LOL Bob

Hi Annie, Boy, life has thrown you a curve, but it sounds like you are taking it in stride. I do hope you are able to find some help if needed around the house. I have a bulging disk at L5, and it is no fun. For me, when it flares up, I tend to ice it over several days and that helps immensely. I also take Ibuprofen in moderation to take the edge off. Never been a fan of muscle relaxants. They just seem to make me goofy in the head. I hope you get some answers from your doctor on ways to treat your pain. Keep us posted. Bob

Hi Amy, I agree with George, in that when you commit to doing something, and then tell others that you are committed, then somehow you are committed, and you get the task done. I suffer from the same dilemma at times. I know what's best for me, and then hear a little voice in me saying; "Oh, you don't need to do that." Usually, I quash that little voice, and move on, but sometimes it gets me. Then my conscience kicks in, and I feel guilty. That's usually enough to get me off my rear and get moving. I hate feeling guilty. Kudos to you on your decision to do your exercises as you should. Bob

It's been a year since I was admitted to the hospital with a stroke. It now seems so long ago. Time flies when you are having fun, or so they say. It has been a difficult year, no doubt, but one with new challenges to conquer and opportunities to grow. That is what made this last year special. You might say to yourself; special? Yes. In many ways this last year has been special. First of all, though the stroke is not something I would wish on anyone, it afforded me time to stop and smell the roses. What is important to me now is much different than what it was a year ago. Training my mind to face my fear of the future was a daunting task at first, as I'm sure it is with most survivors. My faith in God was tested, and the victory won. I certainly would have not made it through without Him. In part, it was to get my focus off myself and my woes, and place my trust in Him. In doing so, I see the future much brighter today than a year ago. Faith in the future made me realize there is much more than the here and now. Developing my left side for the things I used to do with my once dominant right side, was/is a little trickier, and I am still learning how to tackle some things. I have learned to write left handed, and certainly my left side muscles have gotten stronger. Learning little tricks to make life easier using just one side has been a joy and a struggle, but overall, I can accomplish much what a two handed person can do with one hand. There are many great gadgets out there for the hemiplegic person. I have used those resources to help me. One is the left footed accelerator for my car. Though I drive very little, I can get to places if needed. I have a large two door sedan. It wasn't my first choice of vehicles, but I am glad I have it now. It has large doors, and that makes it easier to get in and out of. This last year brought me several new friends; friends I would not have made had life gone on as normal. Some of these people I cherish so much today, as they have become my closest of friends. I can't imagine living life without them now. A little twist of fate, and presto, a kindred spirit comes into my life. Last summer I was feeling well enough to travel a bit. I made several trips to Lake Tahoe. It is such a beautiful place. I really enjoy the mountains and the rustic scenery. Around the lake, there are enough things to do and places to eat. It is a bit of a tourist trap, but if you know where to go, you can find some good deals. I also made two trips to Minnesota to visit friends. I hadn't been there since I was a kid, and thoroughly enjoyed all the lakes and farm country. We had a chance to go "Up North" as it is called there, to Lake Superior, where the trees were just starting to change into their fall colors. Of course, it was nice to reminisce with my Minnesota friends about the past and what is currently going on in our lives. While home, I found ways to keep occupied. I started an on line Internet radio station, gaining new skills in several computer languages while doing so. I have made new acquaintances through this particular venture, and have had much fun in getting this going. I love music, and was an announcer for several years in my early 20's living in Montana. I have found that I missed that part of my life a lot, so returning to it now, in the digital age of today, has helped me recapture the joy of it again. Certainly, not to be left out, was the find of a lifetime. Getting the answers to some tough questions about stroke, was hard to drag out of my doctors. StrokeNet filled that void. I learned more in one day on the boards, than all my hospital stays and doctor and therapy visits combined. The information here was practical, which is what I needed. The support of caregivers and survivors was a godsend. I have made some fabulous friends on StrokeNet. Then, being asked to go on staff here was so unexpected, but I couldn't wait to jump at the chance to volunteer. Giving back to this community is what it's all about now. To help others is a wonderful feeling. This past year has been special, and I know that now. It makes me wonder what the next year will bring.

As I mentioned, my PFO was closed with 100% closure, which I understand is a little rare. I am grateful for that procedure, however, there must be something they still need to find. Hopefully the blood tests will find something and I can get on with life. Still, I am encouraged it was not worse, and that is a blessing.

The month of March was particularly difficult for me. I'm not sure why now, but I guess it's all a part of "The Plan." CPS was the major factor for most of the month. I am finding that flareups occur with changing weather, and there is usually much of that in the spring. Though it kept me aware that I have this issue, I didn't slow down too much from my normal post-stroke life. Then I started feeling poorly a little over a week ago. I was at church when I realized something happened. It was in the middle of the worship music when I found trouble singing. I have had no real speech deficits with my stroke; only when I'm tired. This episode occurred when well rested and feeling fairly good. When my friends came to get me from the disabled area after service, they noticed something wrong. We bolted fast and they got me out of there. I had recovered some in the car, and requested to go home. That was probably a mistake in hindsight, but I didn't remember them asking me whether I wanted to get to the hospital. I told them no. Since then, my friends have been instructed by a lucid me, to ignore what I say and get me medical help, if this should happen again in the future. The diagnosis of what occurred is vague (I eventually went to the doctor), but it was believed to be a TIA. I am back on thinners again for the time being. Though I hate them, I would rather be safe. I took Lovenox shots for a few days until the Coumadin did it's magic. I was pretty sure my PFO was the main culprit in my stroke, so I was surprised when they said a TIA may have been the issue. I get more blood test results in a few days to see if there any other factors that have just popped up. In the meantime, I am home, my speech has almost returned to normal, and I feel pretty well. Life throws you curves at times, and though this put a bit of a fright in me originally, I seem to be taking this in stride. That surprised me too. My spirits are up and I am determined to keep going; within limits of course. I added some new music to my Internet Radio Station. Azrabbit (Ellen) from the boards here, sent me a CD of music from her niece's boyfriend, and I was able to add a few selections from it. I have picked up some new music from the Internet and bought a few new CD's. I have some music coming from a company, once a month, that cull new releases from artists, and sends them out to radio stations for free. My library is getting larger all the time. This has been a fun project; one that I wouldn't have even thought of if I was working full time. I need to take a break here, and get back in a bit to host chat. It was good to spend some time in here today; much more than I have in some time.

My goodness! What busyness. So glad you are able to do it though. It's nice when the grandparents get involved in their grandchildren's lives. I always appreciated it when my parents came to my kids music programs. Bob-bob-bobbin' along :big_grin:

:Clap-Hands: So good to hear that you are living your life, and not holding back. My motto: Life is an adventure to be lived. By the way; never tell me secrets. If I knew who to blab too, I would. LOL :big_grin: Bob