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hi kimmie.....like bonnie, my last blog and strokenet visit is lost in the cobwebs of the dark ages. sounds to me like texas is the place for you to go! having moved before (as you may remember) from fl back to our real home of mass i suggest a pre-move trip to the part of texas you want to move to. we moved and did not have a place to move to....and with 2 cats and a dog it was stressful. if your hubby can job hunt and then find a house near his work would be ideal! the actual packing is something i would rather forget but...my mottowas "when in doubt throw it out".....lol...or sell it. i so, so, so want things to work out for you...keep us posted. and congrats to matt! hugs! kathy

stu, sounds to me like your doctor is right on the ball and taking all precautions with your health care. please try not to worry. i just got called back from my annual mammogram and had to have a recheck and an ultrasound. all turned out well....i am glad i did not waste time with worry. follow-up, get the test and go from there. it sounds, from other posts, that this is not uncommon. i will be sending you positive thoughts.....keep us posted! hugs! kathy

donna, yeah for you! rah! rah! rah! and another yeah! keep up the great work. i know it's hard (i am back doing pt for my good shoulder) it is tough but so worth it. glad to hear the botox is kicking in........think about making notes regarding when, how long you have results from the shots...the more specific you are the better the doctor can plan for your next botox series. i am so proud of you! hugs! kathy

donna, independence sounds like another word for peace and quiet! enjoy yours. ... you deserve a break. you are a good and strong parent....too many parents want to be friends with their children these days.....kids need boundries not chums. i do hope kristi'sthe senior year will be less of a trauma....maria is right....it is the last year before real life takes the helm! i think lights and such are a good idea for your road trips...it must feel great to be out and about. by the way, i love your new picture....your new, shorter and darker hair is very attractive. :friends: kathy

hi leah, glad you had a good and relaxing vacation! i think it is great you are going to talk with someone about the issues of loss and grief around your stroke. it will more than likely help you move to another level in the acceptance journey. it is hard for people to realize what is lost when a stroke occurs and i think it must be different for each survivor. i know i was never great with dealing with my feelings and when i was seeing someone post stroke he reminded me that feelings ....when felt...will not hurt me. they are just feeling...not good or bad but just part of me. big lesson for this girl. i spent sometime trying to figure out "why" i had my stroke. how could i have hooked up with such a moron for a doctor? this was not energy well spent and i realized i needed to forgive the stupid doctor and move on. the stroke happened and why does not change it.....like donna says, all we have is today....really, this very moment. keep on your recovery path, you are doing great! keep us posted on how you are doing. by the way...great picture! :hug: kathy

kimmie, RELAX! and let the pilot do the flying and your son run interference at the airport. you need all that energy to enjoy your baby jake......take many pictures so we can enjoy and coo how cute he is. have fun and enjoy your sons and grandson...hugs...kathy

Maria, ]cosmetic karma? OMG! now i really have to start to worry cause i am a true sinner. wonder if there are socks that sport french manicure toes on them? i will have to research this.....lol. i bet your toes look awesome. so, in the meantime, enjoy those wonderfuil "girl" shoes and have a great time at your son's banquet. :friends: kathy

donna, too totally cool! cruisin is the song that came to my mind. watch out pittsburgh....donna has got wheels! yeah for you girlfriend! kathy

hi bart, i wondered where you went to....glad to see you back on line. i am sorry to hear about your wife.....too many losses my friend. stroke affects so many areas of our lives. i hope you get your ssdi and i hope you can use this time to concentrate on your needs and recovery. we are here for you. kathy

leah, congrats! i had total faith in your abilities to go it alone. it is a great gift as a survivor to give to our caregiver....time alone with no big worries. i am really proud of you. p.s. stay off that back porch for a few days! hugs! kathy

katrina, well, according to you the As, the china program acceptance and the hope of new boxtox treatment relief means nothing. your existence and success in life is defined by the C in a class. I am very sorry for your unhappiness and inability to enjoy your spring break. i hope with time you can come to understand that your school grades do not define you. kathy

beth, i am so sorry! be sure to nix the cigs now. have you considered botox right into the scalp area......i had horrible head-aches and my neurologist did the botox about three different times and i have never had another migraine. on another note, let your hubby help and cook. you need time to let your brain heal. you are so in my thoughts.......be kind and patient with yourself. big hugs, kathy

katrina, your school adviser is RIGHT! school is about learning...not about a grade number. also, no one in my years in the workforce..ever asked me for my GPA.....and i have held some very responsible jobs...... you are putting pressure on yourself....there is nothing wrong with getting Bs or even a C if it is a difficult subject. do your best....learn all you can....if you continue to beat yourself up over grades you are going to continue to be disappointed and unhappy. kathy

hi sue, i can only say, that for myself, my life before my stroke grows more distant each day. i have spent time mourning who i was and what i have lost....i have also worked hard to move on and enjoy each day and the small gifts it may bring. i do not, for a single minute believe that i had a stroke to make me a better person or a stronger person......i had spent my pre stroke years caring about and working on behalf of other people. we can all say the words be happy and accept.....but the reality is we are human and have emotions. no one does life perfectly...whether they are a stroke survivor, caregiver, cancer patient or lucky enough to be healthy. all we can do, in my opinion, is try our best each day, treat others as we want to be treated and enjoy the moment. kathy

mc, ya know that old saying you can choose your friends but not your family? well, tough toe nail on them for not being thrilled for you. the choice is yours to let them bring you down or ignore their negativity. of course that is easy for me to say...we all want approval and acceptance. i just hope you can take this step with total joy in your heart and share a wonderful life with andre and let the rest of them go! i too think we need a party! :friends: kathy

hi fred, well, something had to be done. i think this is geared more towards families and tax cuts. i am still steaming over the bailout package that the bush admin passed...that has literally no way of accounting for the use of our tax dollars. now, it is up to our current president to monitor that whole mess and still get our economy going. i have read some of the highlights and don't see any big help for folks on ssdi like myself. there is mention of a one time $260 payment for social security receipents....that is all i saw. i don't even pretend to understand how this package will work. i trust our president but am throughly *beep* off by the partisan politics that are going on when our nation is in crisis. my blood pressure is going up.....lol kathy

mc, oh wow! how romantic....i am soooo happy you shared with us. congratulations to you and andre. he is a lucky guy! kathy

donna! well done! i put one of those kitty shelf window thingies together a few years ago pre-stroke. it took thought, time and two hands back then....it is great you did it on your own. big question...any parts left over? i always find these types of projects leave me with extra thingies. glad crystal is into her new perch and glad you accomplished your mission solo! :Clap-Hands: yeah for you!....kathy

hi silly bunny, love your site name...and glad to see you still can be silly. life is different after stroke and it takes time and effort to regroup and figure our new lives. i understand your sadness. you have had a big loss! 3.5 years after my stroke i still get sad but not like at first. it does get better. this site is great and is a wonderful place to make new friends and know that the people here really do understand. please keep posting and join us in chat...you will like it for sure. also try reading our blogs and write one yourself. i look forward to knowing you better and remember, you are not alone. kathy

Yesterday i gave in......i canceled my membership at my local ymca. yesterday i gave in.....i will no longer take 3 hour art workshops. yesterday i gave in......i will get some help with housework. and so forth...... I have NOT however, given up!!! I will do what i can when it comes to exercise each day. I will continue to draw and paint as i desire and the classes I choose to take will be in a series and with limited hours. I have set up a schedule with a young woman in the neighborhood to help me twice a month with floors and such. I am tired of fighting myself. I wrote in my last blog about searching for the middle ground in recovery......yet in the back of my mind i still believed I could...with much effort......do things in my pre-stroke way. I know some survivors go back to work, go to school, resume hobbies and take water exercise and lift weights. Yeah for them!!!!! I, however am not one of those survivors. I have to face it. It is a painful realization but I am not going to get my stamina back. Of course I am 500% better than I was 3.5 years ago and I am grateful. I have challenged myself and re-challenged myself on so many things. I have set up ...in my mind....my success plans and gone at them full tilt. First in leaps and then in baby steps. If i am going to live my life as a survivor who enjoys her second chance I need to give up my idea that being a hard worker with a positive, can-do attitude change my stroke outcome. All that does is is let me down and lead to tears and depression. oh, i will always be a positive person.....i was before my stroke. I will always want to try new things.....the world is one big interesting place. Yet over the past weeks I have become more accepting and sanguine about my limits in life. I think acceptance is a journey of degrees and I am feeling more comfortable at the moment. with that I will sign off And, remember the days are getting longer! kathy

susan, thanks for the link.....will check it out later...looks totally interesting. i spend a lot of time alone too...even with my hubby around as he does not like to chat much. i hope your appointment goes well on friday and you are healing well. hugs! kathy

jan, totally great thought put into the perfect words! some people are morons...no getting around it.....and then there are all the wonderful people who help and do care. kathy

allan, i second what everyone has said. we are so blessed to have you here with us and able to share your wisdom as we all travel our recovery paths. as i search for my "middle ground" in daily life, i believe you are right when you say take each day as it comes, love your family and practice gratitude. kathy