Louise1

Thank you LadyK for this post. Tony is in his 2nd month after his massive stroke; his paralysis is on his right side (which of course, he's right handed)! His communication consists of the word "no". Some days the frustration just gets so overwhelming and I've found myself crying more times than not. But! I keep my faith in God first, my family and I look forward to reading the posts from my "new friends" on this site. Your post has given me new hope that Tony will improve no matter how long it takes. I hope that he will be able to see that his accomplishments no matter how small they may be are a step forward. I wish he could read about others who have gone through or are going through his situation. I can't tell him about others success stories yet-there's so much that he can not comprehend; there are times I try to tell him about family members and he doesn't recognize who I'm talking about. Tony is 46 years old. I feel that his young age, his sense of humor and of course God's strength will get us through this. Reading about your accomplishments have given me that hope that in the near future Tony will be able to write of his as well. Thank you! Louise

Hi! I'm Louise, my husband had his stroke on April 13th of this year. I feel as you do but at the other end. Tony's 46 years old, owns his own business and has always done all of the household finances and cooking as well (he's Italian and that was his "stress relief"). He is paralyzed on the right side and has severe aphasia. The only thing he can say is "No". I am overwhelmed! But I have found such strength in my faith in God and my family. The issue that I've had is that I think I can handle all this myself. I can't. I need to accept help from those who have said they were there for me. True friends will help. Accept help from others and mention this to your husband as well. I've tried to find a local support group that I can attend but they're held in the afternoon when I work so I find my comfort on sites like this one and also one on aphasia. Don't feel guilty--you haven't done anything to be guilty of. I am a "newbie" to this site but oh the help that I've received so far! My prayers are with you and your family. :hug: Louise

Hi All, I haven't been able to even get to this computer in a few days under the circumstances. Tony had his massive stroke on April 13th; the weeks feel like months right about now. My birthday was last Friday and even though family and friends wished me well it just wasn't the same. Saturday, Tony was moved from rehab to a nursing home/rehab closer to home, which I'm very thankful for--I said many prayers and novenas for that to happen because the distance I had to travel before was getting to be a strain, not so say costly as well with the gas prices...I had been told that this transition would be difficult for us both because he was "comfortable" at the first facility. He wasn't happy that's for sure! Today, I visited him around lunchtime and found him in the Supervised Dining; although his feeding tube was removed earlier, he still needs supervision when he eats. When I walked into that dining area and saw him I wanted to run to him and get him out of there as fast as I could! I also didn't want him to see that I was so close to tears. He's 46 years old; he owns his own used-car business and was always on the go. He was in a dining room with people that were old, frail, deformed, crying, cursing etc. etc. The look on his face was pure anger. Although he tends to keep his temper while he is amongst other patients and staff, it comes out on me. I know that this is the stroke and not him but I am constantly being told to "not take this personally", I can't help it!!! After some doing, I convinced a member of the staff to let him eat in his room and that I'd watch over him. He was very greatful to me, that I could tell. I've found that the most I can stay with him is no longer than 1 hour; I can see he gets frustrated so I feel it's best for both of us to leave. My heart goes out to all the patients in this facility and their families and though I feel guilty saying this "They are elderly! Tony is 46 years young"! He had to be moved from the first facility because of our health insurance. It would only cover him for a certain amount of days in this one. Today, I can honestly say that it was the first time since all this happened that I finally said "WHY US"? Tonight I am so sad and am having a difficult time trying to keep from crying. I just needed a shoulder (actually a few of them) to cry on; so for that I thank you all! Louise